Some people say that it’s better to teach language students in small classes, whereas others think the number of people does not matter. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some people say that it's better to teach language students in small classes, whereas others think the number of people does not matter. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some individuals are of the opinion that teaching language students who study in small classes is the best way to improve standard of education. Whilst others contend that the number of people is not paramount importance to learn language. From my perspective, it really depends on the nature of every person.
On the other hand, there are some major rationales that explain why some people think that small classes can bring about plus points in their lives. In fact, most individuals who are not sociable type of person prefer to study in small classes. If people major in those, their teachers will concentrate on every member of the classes in careful way. This mean that teachers spend a lot of time checking student’s assignments, then give the feedback about their student’s weak and strong aspects. In addition to this, young people can show off themselves more easily as people may face peer pressure when studying in huge classes. This would lead to improve the quality of education and foster their performances.
On the other hand, opponents of the previous view claim that the figure does not play a crucial role in learning a language. In current day, many parents do not spare no expense to pay tuition fees. If they come from disadvantageous socio-economic, they can opt to learn in massive classes. Environment is considered as one of the factors to consider when choosing class. For instance, these people want to be educated in a competitive atmosphere in order to gain a wide variety of clever people. Crowded classes provide student to enhance social skills and their communication which can be beneficial for students in their future lives.
In a nutshell, although there are mixed opinions on determining the best forms of classrooms. I believe that the ultimate decision needs to be made according to the demand and financial conditions of each student.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"Some individuals are of the opinion" -> "Some individuals hold the view"
Explanation: "Hold the view" is a more formal and precise way to express that someone has an opinion, aligning better with academic style. -
"teaching language students who study in small classes" -> "teaching language students in small classes"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase removes redundancy and enhances clarity, making the sentence more direct and formal. -
"the number of people is not paramount importance to learn language" -> "the number of students is not paramount in learning a language"
Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning by specifying "students" and "learning a language," which is more precise and contextually appropriate. -
"it really depends on the nature of every person" -> "it is contingent on individual differences"
Explanation: "Contingent on individual differences" is a more formal and academically precise way to express the idea that factors vary from person to person. -
"plus points" -> "advantages"
Explanation: "Advantages" is a more formal and commonly accepted term in academic writing compared to the colloquial "plus points." -
"not sociable type of person" -> "not sociable"
Explanation: Removing "type of person" simplifies and clarifies the phrase, making it more direct and appropriate for formal writing. -
"careful way" -> "meticulous manner"
Explanation: "Meticulous manner" is a more precise and formal term that better conveys the level of attention and detail implied. -
"This mean that" -> "This means that"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error from "mean" to "means." -
"student’s assignments" -> "students’ assignments"
Explanation: Corrects the possessive form to "students’" to match the plural subject. -
"give the feedback about their student’s weak and strong aspects" -> "provide feedback on students’ strengths and weaknesses"
Explanation: "Provide feedback on students’ strengths and weaknesses" is more formal and avoids the awkward phrasing of "weak and strong aspects." -
"young people can show off themselves more easily" -> "young people can more easily showcase themselves"
Explanation: "Showcase" is a more formal and precise verb than "show off," which is colloquial and potentially negative in connotation. -
"people may face peer pressure" -> "students may face peer pressure"
Explanation: "Students" is more specific and appropriate in this context than the more general "people." -
"In current day" -> "In the current day"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "current day" corrects the grammatical structure. -
"do not spare no expense" -> "do not hesitate to spend"
Explanation: "Do not hesitate to spend" is a more formal and precise expression than the idiomatic "do not spare no expense." -
"disadvantageous socio-economic" -> "disadvantaged socio-economic"
Explanation: "Disadvantaged" is the correct adjective form to describe socio-economic conditions. -
"clever people" -> "intelligent individuals"
Explanation: "Intelligent individuals" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "clever people." -
"provide student to enhance" -> "enable students to enhance"
Explanation: "Enable students to enhance" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise. -
"In a nutshell" -> "In summary"
Explanation: "In summary" is a more formal and academic way to conclude an argument than "In a nutshell," which is colloquial.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the benefits of small classes versus larger classes. The first paragraph introduces the topic and presents the two viewpoints, while the subsequent paragraphs provide arguments for each side. For instance, the essay discusses how small classes allow for more personalized attention from teachers and how larger classes can foster social skills. However, the conclusion could be clearer in summarizing the key points made for both sides before stating the author’s opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each viewpoint is discussed in a balanced manner. Consider explicitly stating the advantages and disadvantages of both small and large classes in a more structured way. Additionally, the conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments presented before giving a personal opinion, reinforcing the discussion.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a personal opinion that the best teaching method depends on individual circumstances. However, this position could be more clearly articulated throughout the essay. The phrase "it really depends on the nature of every person" is somewhat vague and could be elaborated upon to clarify the author’s stance. The position is somewhat lost amidst the discussion of both sides.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, consider reiterating the personal viewpoint in each section of the essay. Use phrases like "In my opinion" or "I believe" to reinforce the author’s stance. Additionally, providing specific examples or scenarios that illustrate how different individuals might benefit from either class size can help clarify the position.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to both small and large classes, such as the benefits of personalized attention and the development of social skills. However, some ideas lack depth and could be better supported with examples or evidence. For instance, the claim that "young people can show off themselves more easily" in small classes is somewhat unclear and could benefit from further explanation or examples.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, provide specific examples or research that backs up the claims made. For instance, citing studies that show the effectiveness of small class sizes on learning outcomes or providing anecdotal evidence could enhance the argument. Additionally, ensure that each idea is fully developed before moving on to the next point.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the merits of both small and large classes in the context of language learning. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For example, the phrase "If they come from disadvantageous socio-economic" is vague and could be better connected to the topic of class size.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points made directly relate back to the question prompt. Avoid introducing ideas that may distract from the main argument. For instance, clarify the socio-economic aspect by explicitly linking it to how it affects class size preferences and learning outcomes. Keeping each paragraph tightly aligned with the topic will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear discussion of both sides of the argument regarding small versus large language classes. The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and each body paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother. For example, the phrase "On the other hand" is used to introduce the second viewpoint, but it could be more effectively linked to the first paragraph to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only indicate a shift in perspective but also connect the ideas more cohesively. For instance, after discussing the benefits of small classes, you might say, "Conversely, it is also important to consider the advantages of larger classes, which can provide…" This would create a more seamless transition and reinforce the relationship between the two arguments.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The first paragraph introduces the topic, the second discusses the benefits of small classes, and the third presents the opposing view. However, the concluding paragraph lacks a strong summary of the main points discussed, which could leave the reader wanting more clarity on your final stance.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key arguments presented in the body paragraphs. For example, you could briefly restate the benefits of both small and large classes before presenting your opinion. This not only reinforces your argument but also provides a clear closure to the essay.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "In addition to this" and "For instance," which help to connect ideas. However, there is a noticeable repetition of certain phrases (e.g., "On the other hand"), which can detract from the overall cohesiveness of the text. Additionally, some sentences could benefit from clearer connections to the preceding ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "Conversely," to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one by using phrases that clarify relationships, such as "This implies that…" or "As a result of this…". This will enhance the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
By addressing these areas for improvement, you can work towards a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion for your IELTS Task 2 essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "major rationales," "plus points," and "disadvantageous socio-economic." However, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the phrase "the number of people" is used multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical richness. Additionally, terms like "sociable type of person" could be expressed more concisely as "introverted individuals."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "small classes," alternatives like "intimate learning environments" or "reduced class sizes" could be employed. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help diversify word choice.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the figure does not play a crucial role" is vague; "figure" could be replaced with "class size" for clarity. Additionally, the expression "students can show off themselves" is awkward and imprecise; a better phrasing would be "students can express themselves more freely."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and ensuring that each term used aligns closely with the context. Reading more academic texts can also help the writer become familiar with precise language usage.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair level of spelling accuracy, but there are notable errors that impact readability. For instance, "student’s assignments" should be "students’ assignments" to indicate possession correctly, and "this mean" should be "this means." Such errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, possibly reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and engaging in regular writing practice can also help reinforce correct spelling. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource score. Engaging in targeted vocabulary exercises, revising for clarity, and practicing spelling will contribute to a stronger overall performance in future writing tasks.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" and "In addition to this" indicate an attempt to use transitional phrases effectively. However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are constructed similarly, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For instance, the sentence "If people major in those, their teachers will concentrate on every member of the classes in careful way" lacks complexity and could be more engaging with varied structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied sentence beginnings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "If," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "While some may argue that…" or "Considering the benefits of small classes, one might say that…". Additionally, using passive voice or different forms of conditional sentences could diversify the writing style.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "the number of people is not paramount importance to learn language" is awkwardly constructed and should be revised to "the number of people is not of paramount importance for learning a language." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the missing article in "in careful way," which should be "in a careful way." The misuse of apostrophes in "student’s assignments" (should be "students’ assignments") also indicates a lack of grammatical precision.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly on common errors, can help. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that all sentences are complete and correctly structured will enhance clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also be beneficial in identifying and correcting mistakes before final submission.
In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument and attempts to discuss both sides of the issue, improvements in the variety of sentence structures and grammatical accuracy are essential for achieving a higher band score. Regular practice and attention to detail will greatly enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
Some individuals hold the view that teaching language students in small classes is the best way to improve the standard of education. Whilst others contend that the number of people is not of paramount importance in learning a language. From my perspective, it really depends on the nature of each individual.
On one hand, there are some major reasons that explain why some people think that small classes can bring about advantages in their lives. In fact, most individuals who are not sociable prefer to study in small classes. If people major in those, their teachers will concentrate on every member of the class in a meticulous manner. This means that teachers spend a lot of time checking students’ assignments and then provide feedback on students’ strengths and weaknesses. In addition to this, young people can showcase themselves more easily, as they may face peer pressure when studying in large classes. This would lead to an improvement in the quality of education and foster their performance.
On the other hand, opponents of the previous view claim that the number of students does not play a crucial role in learning a language. In the current day, many parents do not hesitate to spend money on tuition fees. If they come from disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds, they can opt to learn in large classes. The environment is considered one of the factors to consider when choosing a class. For instance, these individuals want to be educated in a competitive atmosphere in order to gain a wide variety of intelligent peers. Crowded classes provide students with the opportunity to enhance their social skills and communication, which can be beneficial for them in their future lives.
In summary, although there are mixed opinions on determining the best forms of classrooms, I believe that the ultimate decision needs to be made according to the needs and financial conditions of each student.