Some people say that students should concentrate on academic subjects, others however suppose that soft skills training should be the main focus of the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that many students exclusively focus on academic subjects at school without paying attention to learning soft skills. While some people are of the opinion that students should concentrate on academic subjects, I would side with the position advocating that the primary emphasis should be on soft skills training of the curriculum.
On the one hand, studying academic knowledge may be advantageous in many ways. Firstly, examination results are essential for students’ academic records. With good results, they will have an advantage in the national high school exams in which their academic performance after many years of study is considered. Secondly, academic subjects can equip students with fundamental knowledge, which will be used in tertiary education. For instance, most undergraduates in Vietnam are required to complete courses, such as Microeconomics and Advanced Mathematics, which are constituting mathematical knowledge taught at high school. Lacking a profound comprehension, students may fail the final exams and have to study these subjects again, which is time-consuming and costly.
On the other hand, I strongly agree that students still need to learn practical skills. Engaging in soft skill classes, students can have the opportunity to cultivate their abilities and explore their talents . When learning communication and negotiation skills,they are inclined to enhance their communication and behavioral skills. Thus, aiding in the development of leadership qualities Moreover, they can develop desirable characteristics. They will improve their sense of responsibility such as completing assigned tasks, taking responsibility for what they do. Additionally, they may exhibit cooperation and a willingness to assist their colleagues .Thereby, they stand a higher chance of being shortlisted by prestigious recruiters. Attending skill building classes at school is also an effective way for students to unwind after many hours of studying academic subjects. Through a wide range of activities, students are able to relax and as a result perform better in exams.
In summary, although some people suppose that students had better focus on studying academic subjects, I firmly advocate learning soft skills is also essential for students. Students should learn both academic subjects and soft skills for their comprehensive development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is true that many students exclusively focus on academic subjects at school without paying attention to learning soft skills." -> "Indeed, numerous students primarily concentrate on academic subjects in school, often neglecting the acquisition of soft skills."
Explanation: Replacing "It is true that many students exclusively focus on academic subjects" with "Indeed, numerous students primarily concentrate on academic subjects" maintains a formal tone and enhances clarity. Additionally, the phrase "often neglecting the acquisition of soft skills" adds precision and conciseness to the statement.
"While some people are of the opinion that students should concentrate on academic subjects," -> "While some argue that students should prioritize academic subjects,"
Explanation: The suggested alternative maintains formality and conciseness while replacing the informal "are of the opinion" with "argue." "Prioritize" is a more direct and academically appropriate term than "concentrate on."
"I would side with the position advocating that the primary emphasis should be on soft skills training of the curriculum." -> "I would align myself with the standpoint that emphasizes the incorporation of soft skills training into the curriculum."
Explanation: The revised sentence employs more formal language, replacing "side with the position" with "align myself with the standpoint" and using a more elaborate phrase, "incorporation of soft skills training into the curriculum," to enhance the academic tone.
"Firstly, examination results are essential for students’ academic records." -> "First and foremost, examination results play a pivotal role in students’ academic records."
Explanation: The change enhances formality by replacing "Firstly" with "First and foremost." Additionally, "play a pivotal role" is a more sophisticated way to express the importance of examination results.
"Secondly, academic subjects can equip students with fundamental knowledge, which will be used in tertiary education." -> "Moreover, academic subjects provide students with fundamental knowledge that serves as a foundation for their tertiary education."
Explanation: The word "Moreover" adds formality and flow to the sentence. Replacing "can equip students with" with "provide students with" and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and academic style.
"constituting mathematical knowledge taught at high school." -> "comprising the mathematical knowledge taught at the high school level."
Explanation: The suggested alternative uses "comprising" to convey the same meaning in a more formal manner. Additionally, "the high school level" is more specific than "high school," which enhances precision.
"When learning communication and negotiation skills, they are inclined to enhance their communication and behavioral skills." -> "While acquiring communication and negotiation skills, they tend to improve their communication and behavioral aptitude."
Explanation: The revision replaces the informal "are inclined to" with "tend to" and uses "aptitude" instead of "skills" for a more formal and precise expression.
"aiding in the development of leadership qualities" -> "contributing to the cultivation of leadership attributes"
Explanation: The alternative phrase is more academically precise and employs a formal tone. "Cultivation of leadership attributes" is a more advanced way to express the idea.
"They will improve their sense of responsibility such as completing assigned tasks, taking responsibility for what they do." -> "They will enhance their sense of responsibility, including tasks completion and accountability for their actions."
Explanation: The suggested change maintains formality and clarity while specifying the aspects of responsibility being discussed.
"Additionally, they may exhibit cooperation and a willingness to assist their colleagues." -> "Furthermore, they may demonstrate cooperation and a readiness to support their peers."
Explanation: The revised sentence uses more formal language, replacing "exhibit" with "demonstrate" and "willingness to assist" with "readiness to support."
"Thereby, they stand a higher chance of being shortlisted by prestigious recruiters." -> "As a result, they increase their likelihood of being selected by esteemed recruiters."
Explanation: The alternative phrasing maintains a formal tone while specifying "increase their likelihood" to enhance precision.
"Attending skill building classes at school is also an effective way for students to unwind after many hours of studying academic subjects." -> "Participating in skill-building classes at school can serve as an effective means for students to relax after prolonged hours of academic study."
Explanation: The suggested alternative maintains formality and clarity while specifying "participating in" and "effective means" for a more advanced expression.
"In summary, although some people suppose that students had better focus on studying academic subjects, I firmly advocate learning soft skills is also essential for students." -> "In conclusion, while some argue for a greater emphasis on academic subjects, I staunchly advocate that incorporating soft skills education is equally indispensable for students."
Explanation: The revised sentence replaces informal language with formal expressions like "staunchly advocate" and "equally indispensable." It enhances the academic tone and clarity of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both views – concentrating on academic subjects and focusing on soft skills training – and provides the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: There are no improvements needed in this aspect.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. It clearly expresses the writer’s opinion in favor of focusing on soft skills training.
- How to improve: No improvement required in this regard.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports its ideas. It provides examples and explanations to support both the importance of academic subjects and the benefits of soft skills training.
- How to improve: The essay is strong in this area, but it could benefit from providing more specific examples or case studies to illustrate the impact of soft skills training on students’ lives and careers.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay successfully stays on topic and does not deviate from the central theme of the prompt.
- How to improve: No improvement needed here.

Overall, this essay is well-structured, addresses all aspects of the prompt, and maintains a clear and consistent position. It effectively presents and supports its ideas. To enhance its quality further, consider providing more concrete examples to illustrate the advantages of soft skills training, making the argument even more compelling. Overall, an excellent response that just needs a minor improvement in providing more specific examples for maximum impact.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It starts with a clear introduction presenting the two views on the topic and the author’s opinion. Each viewpoint is discussed in separate paragraphs, and there is a clear conclusion.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the author could consider providing a brief outline of the main points that will be discussed in each body paragraph in the introduction. This would give readers a clear roadmap of the essay’s structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. Transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, aiding in the overall cohesion of the essay.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Additionally, use transition words or phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs for a seamless reading experience.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses cohesive devices reasonably well. There is a good variety of linking words and phrases such as "on the one hand," "on the other hand," "firstly," "secondly," and "in summary" to connect ideas within and between sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion further, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns (he, she, it) and synonyms (e.g., "soft skills" could occasionally be replaced with "interpersonal skills"). Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay for a more polished result.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong ability to organize information logically, effectively use paragraphs, and employ a range of cohesive devices. To further improve coherence and cohesion, the author can implement the suggested enhancements, which would elevate the essay to an even higher level of clarity and structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderately wide range of vocabulary. It includes various words and phrases related to academic subjects and soft skills. For example, it uses terms like "fundamental knowledge," "communication and negotiation skills," "leadership qualities," and "responsibility." However, there is room for improvement as some phrases are repeated, and more advanced vocabulary could be employed.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and more sophisticated terminology. Avoid repetition of phrases like "academic subjects" and "soft skills." For instance, instead of "fundamental knowledge," you could use terms like "foundational expertise" or "essential comprehension."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, with precise word choices. For example, it accurately employs terms like "advantageous," "comprehension," and "time-consuming." However, there are instances of slightly imprecise word usage, such as "Engaging in soft skill classes" (it should be "soft skills classes") and "cultivate their abilities and explore their talents" (repetitive).
- How to improve: Continue using precise vocabulary but pay attention to minor errors like the use of plurals and repetitions. Additionally, ensure that phrases are well-structured and free of redundancy. For instance, you can say "Engaging in soft skills classes" as "Participating in soft skills training."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate. There are no major spelling errors or issues that significantly affect comprehension. However, there are some minor errors like "responsibility" (it should be "responsibilities" in the context) and "stand a higher chance" (it should be "have a higher chance").
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread your essay carefully and pay attention to plurals, verb forms, and minor grammatical details. Consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to catch any overlooked errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonably good level of lexical resource. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary, using words precisely, and paying close attention to spelling and minor grammatical details.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. It uses simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For instance, it includes sentences with introductory phrases ("On the one hand," "On the other hand," "In summary"), relative clauses ("which will be used in tertiary education"), and conditional sentences ("If they lack profound comprehension…"). These structures enhance the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. For example, instead of using straightforward enumeration, you can create more complex relationships between ideas through the use of subordination. This can help elevate the sophistication of the essay’s structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances of minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("students still need to learn practical skills," should be "students still need to learn practical skills,") and punctuation issues (comma splices and missing commas in some sentences).
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, proofread the essay carefully to correct minor errors like subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Additionally, pay close attention to comma usage, ensuring that commas are appropriately placed to separate ideas within sentences. Consider seeking feedback from peers or using grammar-checking tools to catch these minor errors.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and a good variety of sentence structures. With some minor adjustments for grammatical accuracy and punctuation, you can further improve the clarity and precision of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is indeed true that many students tend to concentrate solely on academic subjects during their school years, often overlooking the importance of acquiring soft skills. While there is a viewpoint that suggests students should prioritize academic subjects, I align myself with the perspective that emphasizes the incorporation of soft skills training into the curriculum.

On one hand, there are valid arguments in favor of focusing on academic subjects. Firstly, examination results play a pivotal role in students’ academic records. Achieving good results provides them with a competitive advantage in national high school exams, which consider their academic performance over years of study. Secondly, academic subjects impart students with fundamental knowledge that serves as a foundation for their tertiary education. For instance, many undergraduate courses in Vietnam require students to complete subjects like Microeconomics and Advanced Mathematics, which build upon the mathematical knowledge taught at the high school level. Without a strong grasp of these subjects, students may struggle in their final exams, leading to the need for additional time and expense to relearn them.

On the other hand, I firmly endorse the idea that students should also focus on developing practical skills. Engaging in soft skills classes offers students the opportunity to nurture their abilities and discover their talents. When students acquire communication and negotiation skills, they tend to improve their communication and behavioral aptitude, thereby contributing to the cultivation of leadership attributes. Additionally, they can develop desirable traits such as a heightened sense of responsibility, including tasks completion and accountability for their actions. Moreover, they may exhibit cooperation and a readiness to support their peers, enhancing their likelihood of being selected by esteemed recruiters. Participating in skill-building classes at school can also serve as an effective means for students to relax after prolonged hours of academic study, helping them recharge and perform better in exams.

In conclusion, while some argue for a greater emphasis on academic subjects, I staunchly advocate that incorporating soft skills education is equally indispensable for students. Students can benefit from both academic subjects and soft skills training, leading to their comprehensive development and better preparation for future endeavors.