Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, government
should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Taxation is a critical tool for governments to generate revenue, which is then allocated to various sectors to promote national development and the well-being of citizens. While some argue that health care should be the foremost priority when deciding how taxes are spent, others contend that there are other sectors, such as education, infrastructure, and defense, that also require significant attention. This essay will discuss both perspectives and argue that while health care is undeniably important, a balanced approach is essential to ensure holistic national development.

On one hand, proponents of prioritizing health care argue that it is a fundamental aspect of a country's welfare system. Access to quality health care is a basic human right, and a healthy population is the cornerstone of a productive society. By investing heavily in health care, governments can ensure that citizens receive timely medical attention, reducing mortality rates and improving overall quality of life. Moreover, well-funded health care systems can better manage public health crises, such as pandemics, which can have devastating effects on both the population and the economy. Thus, for many, health care represents not just a moral obligation but also a practical necessity for maintaining a stable and prosperous society.

On the other hand, critics of this view argue that other sectors are equally, if not more, deserving of government expenditure. For instance, investment in education is crucial for long-term national development. A well-educated population drives innovation, economic growth, and social progress. Without adequate funding for education, a country risks falling behind in global competitiveness. Similarly, infrastructure development is vital for economic stability. Efficient transportation networks, energy supplies, and communication systems are the backbone of any modern economy. Additionally, defense spending is often cited as a priority, especially in regions with geopolitical tensions. Ensuring national security is fundamental to the protection of all other societal functions, including health care.

In my opinion, while health care is undoubtedly a critical sector, it should not be the sole priority when it comes to government spending. A well-rounded approach is necessary, one that balances the needs of health care with those of education, infrastructure, and security. For instance, without proper infrastructure, access to health care facilities can be severely limited, no matter how well-funded they are. Similarly, without a robust education system, the future generation of health care professionals may be inadequate. Therefore, while health care should receive significant attention, it must be part of a broader, integrated strategy for national development.

In conclusion, both views on government spending have merit. Health care is essential for the immediate well-being of the population, but other sectors like education, infrastructure, and defense also play critical roles in the overall stability and progress of a nation. A balanced allocation of tax-payers' money, rather than an exclusive focus on any single sector, is the most prudent approach for fostering sustainable development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Taxation is a critical tool" -> "Taxation serves as a crucial mechanism"
   Explanation: "Serves as a crucial mechanism" enhances the formality and precision of the statement, aligning better with academic language by emphasizing the functional role of taxation in governance.

2. "generate revenue" -> "yield revenue"
   Explanation: "Yield" is a more precise term in economic contexts, indicating the actual income generated, which is more suitable for formal academic writing than the more general "generate".

3. "promote national development and the well-being of citizens" -> "foster national development and enhance the well-being of citizens"
   Explanation: "Foster" and "enhance" are more specific verbs that convey a stronger, more deliberate action, which is more appropriate for formal academic discourse than the more general "promote" and "well-being".

4. "On one hand" -> "On the one hand"
   Explanation: This is a grammatical correction to ensure proper use of the phrase, which is a common convention in formal writing.

5. "proponents of prioritizing health care argue" -> "advocates for prioritizing health care contend"
   Explanation: "Advocates for" and "contend" are more precise and formal terms that better suit the academic style, enhancing the tone of the argument.

6. "a fundamental aspect of a country’s welfare system" -> "a core component of a nation’s welfare system"
   Explanation: "Core component" is a more precise and formal term than "fundamental aspect," and "nation" is often preferred over "country" in formal writing to denote a sovereign state.

7. "a healthy population is the cornerstone of a productive society" -> "a healthy population serves as the foundation of a productive society"
   Explanation: "Serves as the foundation" is a more formal and precise expression, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.

8. "well-funded health care systems" -> "adequately funded healthcare systems"
   Explanation: "Adequately funded" is a more precise term that conveys a specific level of financial support, which is more suitable for formal writing than the more general "well-funded".

9. "critics of this view argue" -> "opponents of this perspective contend"
   Explanation: "Opponents of this perspective contend" uses more formal vocabulary and is more specific, enhancing the academic tone of the argument.

10. "investment in education is crucial" -> "investment in education is essential"
    Explanation: "Essential" is a stronger, more formal term that emphasizes the necessity of investment in education, aligning better with academic standards.

11. "a well-educated population drives innovation" -> "a well-educated population fosters innovation"
    Explanation: "Fosters" is a more precise verb that suggests nurturing and development, which is more appropriate in the context of education and its impact on society.

12. "a country risks falling behind" -> "a nation risks lagging behind"
    Explanation: "Lagging behind" is a more formal expression commonly used in academic and policy discussions, enhancing the precision of the statement.

13. "Ensuring national security is fundamental to the protection of all other societal functions" -> "Ensuring national security is pivotal to the safeguarding of all other societal functions"
    Explanation: "Pivotal" and "safeguarding" are more formal and precise terms that better suit the context of national security and its relationship to other societal functions.

14. "a well-rounded approach is necessary" -> "a comprehensive approach is necessary"
    Explanation: "Comprehensive" is a more formal and precise term that better describes a thorough and detailed approach, fitting the academic style better than "well-rounded".

15. "tax-payers’ money" -> "taxpayers’ funds"
    Explanation: "Taxpayers’ funds" is a more formal and precise term, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more colloquial "tax-payers’ money".

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both perspectives on the allocation of tax revenue, clearly outlining the arguments for prioritizing health care and those for other sectors such as education, infrastructure, and defense. The introduction sets the stage by summarizing the debate, and each viewpoint is explored in dedicated paragraphs. The writer also provides their opinion, which is a critical aspect of the prompt. However, while both views are discussed, the depth of analysis could be enhanced by providing more specific examples or data to support the claims made.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay could include specific examples or case studies that illustrate the consequences of prioritizing one sector over another. For instance, citing a country that has successfully balanced health care with education spending could strengthen the argument for a holistic approach.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that advocates for a balanced approach to government spending. The writer consistently reinforces their stance throughout the essay, particularly in the opinion paragraph where they articulate the need for an integrated strategy. The use of phrases like "while health care is undeniably important" and "a balanced approach is essential" helps to clarify the writer’s viewpoint. However, there are moments where the transition between discussing both views could be smoother to enhance clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases more effectively between paragraphs. For instance, explicitly linking the conclusion of one viewpoint to the introduction of the next could help the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of health care and its importance. The arguments are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the debate. However, the support for the counterarguments could be more robust. While the essay mentions education, infrastructure, and defense, it does not delve deeply into how these sectors impact society or the economy, which could provide a more compelling argument.
  • How to improve: To improve the depth of analysis, the writer should aim to extend their ideas further by incorporating more detailed examples or statistics that illustrate the importance of education and infrastructure. This could involve discussing specific outcomes of underfunding these sectors or successful initiatives that demonstrate their value.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently addressing the prompt without deviating into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall discussion of how tax revenue should be allocated, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. However, there could be a slight risk of redundancy in reiterating the importance of health care, which might detract from the overall argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and avoid redundancy, the writer could streamline their arguments by ensuring that each point made adds new information or perspective. For example, rather than reiterating the importance of health care in multiple ways, the writer could briefly mention it and then focus on contrasting it with the other sectors in more detail.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating more specific examples, enhancing transitions, and ensuring that each point adds unique value, the essay could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, presenting a clear introduction that outlines the two perspectives on tax spending and the author’s stance. Each paragraph effectively addresses a specific viewpoint, with the first paragraph discussing the importance of health care and the second focusing on alternative priorities. The progression from one argument to the next is logical, culminating in a well-reasoned conclusion that synthesizes the discussed points. For example, the transition from the benefits of health care to the necessity of education and infrastructure is smooth and maintains the reader’s understanding of the argument’s flow.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, the author could use more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs to signal shifts in focus. For instance, phrases like "In addition to health care," or "Conversely," could help reinforce the contrast between the two viewpoints more clearly. Additionally, the introduction could briefly outline the main points that will be discussed, providing a roadmap for the reader.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph establishes the context and introduces the debate, while subsequent paragraphs delve into the arguments for and against prioritizing health care. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussion and reiterates the author’s opinion. The paragraphing is consistent and contributes to the overall clarity of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the author could consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability. For example, the paragraph discussing the importance of health care could be split into two: one focusing on health care as a moral obligation and the other on its practical implications during public health crises. This would allow for a more focused discussion and make it easier for the reader to digest the information.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On one hand," "On the other hand," and "In my opinion," which help to clarify the structure and guide the reader through the arguments. The use of these devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing for a smooth transition between ideas. Additionally, the author employs phrases like "for instance" and "similarly," which effectively illustrate points and provide examples.
  • How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, the author could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "In contrast" could enhance the connections between ideas and improve the overall flow. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating more complex cohesive devices, such as relative clauses or conditional statements, could add depth to the writing and demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced discussion of the topic. By focusing on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the author can elevate the essay to an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms relevant to the topic of taxation and public spending. Phrases such as "critical tool," "national development," "fundamental aspect," and "holistic national development" showcase the writer’s ability to use varied vocabulary to articulate complex ideas. The use of synonyms and varied expressions enhances the essay’s readability and depth.
  • How to improve: While the vocabulary is generally strong, the essay could benefit from incorporating even more varied expressions and synonyms to avoid repetition. For example, the term "health care" is used multiple times; alternatives like "medical services" or "health services" could be employed to diversify the language further.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, particularly in articulating the arguments for both sides of the debate. Terms like "moral obligation," "economic growth," and "geopolitical tensions" are used accurately within context. However, there are instances where the choice of words could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "well-funded health care systems can better manage public health crises" could be more explicitly defined by specifying what "better manage" entails.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarifying their statements with more specific vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "better manage," the writer could specify "effectively respond to" or "adequately address." This would provide clearer insights into the intended meaning.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors throughout the text. Words are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: Although spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to proofread their work to maintain this standard. Engaging in regular spelling exercises or using tools like spell checkers can further reinforce this strength. Additionally, expanding vocabulary through reading can help familiarize the writer with less common words and their correct spellings.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By further diversifying vocabulary, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can continue to improve their writing skills.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of clauses such as "By investing heavily in health care, governments can ensure that citizens receive timely medical attention" showcases the writer’s ability to integrate subordinate clauses effectively. Additionally, the essay employs varied sentence openings and transitions, such as "On one hand" and "On the other hand," which enhance coherence and flow. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly in the discussion of opposing views, which could be improved for greater variety.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could experiment with different ways to introduce ideas, such as using participial phrases or starting with adverbial clauses. For example, instead of beginning sentences with "On one hand" or "On the other hand," the writer might use phrases like "Considering the importance of health care" or "In contrast to this view." This would not only add variety but also engage the reader more effectively.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For instance, the phrase "which is then allocated to various sectors" correctly uses a relative clause to provide additional information. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and list items. However, there are a few instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which can have devastating effects on both the population and the economy" to separate the clause from the main sentence.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation, the writer should review the rules for comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. Practicing the placement of commas in longer sentences can help clarify meaning and improve readability. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement or article usage, can further strengthen the overall quality of the writing. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls could also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced argument, demonstrating a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. With minor adjustments in sentence variety and punctuation, the writer could further elevate the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Taxation is a critical tool for governments to generate revenue, which is then allocated to various sectors to promote national development and enhance the well-being of citizens. While some argue that health care should be the foremost priority when deciding how taxes are spent, others contend that there are other sectors, such as education, infrastructure, and defense, that also require significant attention. This essay will discuss both perspectives and argue that while health care is undeniably important, a balanced approach is essential to ensure holistic national development.

On the one hand, proponents of prioritizing health care argue that it is a fundamental aspect of a country’s welfare system. Access to quality health care is a basic human right, and a healthy population serves as the foundation of a productive society. By investing heavily in health care, governments can ensure that citizens receive timely medical attention, reducing mortality rates and improving overall quality of life. Moreover, adequately funded health care systems can better manage public health crises, such as pandemics, which can have devastating effects on both the population and the economy. Thus, for many, health care represents not just a moral obligation but also a practical necessity for maintaining a stable and prosperous society.

On the other hand, critics of this view argue that other sectors are equally, if not more, deserving of government expenditure. For instance, investment in education is essential for long-term national development. A well-educated population fosters innovation, economic growth, and social progress. Without adequate funding for education, a country risks lagging behind in global competitiveness. Similarly, infrastructure development is vital for economic stability. Efficient transportation networks, energy supplies, and communication systems are the backbone of any modern economy. Additionally, defense spending is often cited as a priority, especially in regions with geopolitical tensions. Ensuring national security is pivotal to the safeguarding of all other societal functions, including health care.

In my opinion, while health care is undoubtedly a critical sector, it should not be the sole priority when it comes to government spending. A comprehensive approach is necessary, one that balances the needs of health care with those of education, infrastructure, and security. For instance, without proper infrastructure, access to health care facilities can be severely limited, no matter how well-funded they are. Similarly, without a robust education system, the future generation of health care professionals may be inadequate. Therefore, while health care should receive significant attention, it must be part of a broader, integrated strategy for national development.

In conclusion, both views on government spending have merit. Health care is essential for the immediate well-being of the population, but other sectors like education, infrastructure, and defense also play critical roles in the overall stability and progress of a nation. A balanced allocation of taxpayers’ funds, rather than an exclusive focus on any single sector, is the most prudent approach for fostering sustainable development.