Some people think big companies should provide sports and social facilities in the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that big companies should support the local community by providing facilities for sports and socializing. I partly agree with this view and will analyze it in detail in the following essay.

On the one hand, it is reasonable for those who are in favor of providing sports and social facilities by big companies. It offers chances for Marketing and promotion, so companies can enhance their public image. For instance, Apple, Microsoft, and other giant corporations have been known to invest in local community projects, which have enhanced their brand visibility and boosted the reputation of companies because they fulfilled their corporate social responsibility. Furthermore, when investing in the local community, companies successfully send a strong message about it’s commitment to social obligations, potentially promoting customer loyalty and attracting targeted new customers who value corporate social responsibilities.

Despite some supportive reasons why big companies should provide sports and social appliances for the community. Most businesses do not have the funds available to simultaneously support the community and promote their growth. Sports and social facilities might be too expensive, deterring companies from further developing. For example, instead of building a public sports complex, companies could use these funds to develop innovative products or enhance operational efficiency. This redirection of resources is essential for companies to stay competitive and ensure long-term growth. Additionally, it would be better if the company budget could be spent on other aspects of work such as salary increases, bonuses, and extra time off, chief among these is to increase the level of job satisfaction, thereby encouraging employees to work more diligently. As a result, it contributes to the national economy and creates a motivated and committed workforce.

In conclusion, while it is beneficial for companies to provide sports and social facilities, this should not be an obligation for all companies. I firmly believe that companies can fully concentrate on their business growth and employee productivity.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"big companies" -> "large corporations"
Explanation: "Large corporations" is a more formal and precise term than "big companies," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"support the local community by providing facilities for sports and socializing" -> "support the local community by offering facilities for sports and social activities"
Explanation: "Offering facilities for sports and social activities" is more specific and formal than "providing facilities for sports and socializing," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"I partly agree with this view" -> "I partially concur with this perspective"
Explanation: "Partially concur" is a more formal expression than "partly agree," and "perspective" is a more academic term than "view," enhancing the formality of the statement.
"it is reasonable for those who are in favor of providing sports and social facilities by big companies" -> "it is logical for proponents of large corporations providing sports and social facilities"
Explanation: "Proponents of large corporations providing sports and social facilities" is more concise and formal than the original phrase, which is awkwardly constructed and informal.
"offers chances for Marketing and promotion" -> "offers opportunities for marketing and promotion"
Explanation: "Opportunities" is the correct plural form, and "marketing" should not be capitalized unless it refers to a specific company or brand.
"it’s commitment" -> "its commitment"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error, replacing the contraction "it’s" with the possessive form "its" to maintain grammatical accuracy.
"social appliances" -> "social facilities"
Explanation: "Social appliances" is incorrect; "social facilities" is the correct term, referring to structures or services for social activities.
"Most businesses do not have the funds available to simultaneously support the community and promote their growth" -> "Many businesses lack the financial resources to simultaneously support the community and promote their growth"
Explanation: "Lack the financial resources" is a more precise and formal way to express financial constraints than "do not have the funds available."
"Sports and social facilities might be too expensive" -> "The provision of sports and social facilities might be too costly"
Explanation: "The provision of" is a more formal way to refer to the act of providing facilities, and "costly" is a more precise term than "expensive" in this context.
"instead of building a public sports complex, companies could use these funds to develop innovative products or enhance operational efficiency" -> "instead of constructing a public sports complex, companies could allocate these funds to develop innovative products or enhance operational efficiency"
Explanation: "Constructing" is more specific than "building," and "allocate" is a more formal term than "use," fitting better in an academic context.
"chief among these is to increase the level of job satisfaction" -> "chief among these is to enhance job satisfaction"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise and formal verb than "increase" in this context, focusing on the improvement of job satisfaction rather than its level.
"it contributes to the national economy" -> "it contributes to the national economy’s growth"
Explanation: Adding "growth" clarifies the specific aspect of the contribution, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"creates a motivated and committed workforce" -> "fosters a motivated and committed workforce"
Explanation: "Fosters" is a more formal and precise verb than "creates," which is somewhat simplistic and less specific in this context, suggesting a more active and supportive role in developing the workforce.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether big companies should provide sports and social facilities in the local community. The introduction clearly states a partial agreement, and the body paragraphs present reasons supporting both perspectives. However, the argument could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees, as the phrase "partly agree" is somewhat vague and could be more clearly defined.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should explicitly state the extent of their agreement in the introduction and reinforce this stance throughout the essay. For example, they could specify whether they believe all companies should contribute or only those with sufficient resources. This clarity would help to strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that is somewhat clear but lacks consistency. The author states a partial agreement but does not consistently reinforce this throughout the essay. For instance, while discussing the benefits of corporate social responsibility, the essay shifts focus to the challenges companies face, which may dilute the clarity of the position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their stance in each paragraph. They could use transitional phrases to link their arguments back to their main position, ensuring that each point made supports their overall agreement or disagreement with the prompt.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and examples, such as the benefits of corporate social responsibility and the potential drawbacks of funding sports facilities. However, some points are not fully developed. For instance, the mention of Apple and Microsoft could be expanded with more specific examples or statistics to illustrate their contributions and the impact on community relations.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on key points with more detailed examples and explanations. This could involve providing specific instances of successful corporate community projects or discussing potential consequences of not investing in community facilities to create a more balanced argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the role of big companies in providing sports and social facilities. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly when discussing employee satisfaction and operational efficiency, which may not directly relate to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly ties back to the central question of whether big companies should provide facilities. They could consider briefly acknowledging the importance of employee satisfaction but should ensure that such points are clearly linked to the broader discussion about community investment.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it would benefit from clearer articulation of the writer’s position, more detailed support for ideas, and a tighter focus on the prompt throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s position, indicating a partial agreement. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages of companies providing facilities, while the second body paragraph presents counterarguments. This logical progression of ideas helps the reader follow the argument. However, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from supporting arguments to opposing views feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the two paragraphs. For example, a sentence like "However, there are also significant arguments against this perspective" could serve as a bridge, making the transition clearer.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of corporate involvement in community facilities, while the second addresses the potential drawbacks. However, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the second paragraph could begin with, "On the other hand, there are compelling reasons why companies may choose not to invest in community facilities," which would clarify its focus right from the start.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "despite," which help in structuring the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay occasionally relies on basic connectors. For example, the phrase "for instance" is used effectively, but more variety in linking words and phrases could enhance the cohesiveness of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "furthermore," "in contrast," "consequently," and "as a result" to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain flow. For example, instead of repeatedly referring to "companies," you could use "these organizations" or "such entities" in subsequent mentions.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "corporate social responsibility," "brand visibility," and "operational efficiency" being effectively employed. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "big companies" is repeated multiple times, which detracts from the overall lexical variety. Additionally, phrases like "support the local community" could be replaced with synonyms such as "assist" or "aid" to enhance diversity.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "big companies," alternatives like "large corporations," "multinational firms," or "major enterprises" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring more specialized vocabulary related to corporate social responsibility and community engagement would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, but there are also instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "it’s commitment to social obligations" should be "its commitment," reflecting a common grammatical error that can confuse readers. Furthermore, the term "appliances" in "sports and social appliances" is incorrect in this context; "facilities" or "amenities" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch grammatical errors and ensure that the vocabulary used accurately conveys the intended meaning. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find the most appropriate words for specific contexts. Additionally, practicing writing with a focus on clarity and correctness will aid in developing more precise language skills.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, but there are notable errors that impact clarity. For instance, "it’s" is a contraction for "it is," while "its" is the possessive form, which is incorrectly used in the phrase "it’s commitment." Furthermore, "deterring" is misused in the context of "deterring companies from further developing," where a term like "hindering" or "preventing" would be more suitable.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards or spelling apps. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling patterns. Before finalizing an essay, a thorough proofreading session focused on spelling and grammatical accuracy is essential.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "It is widely believed that big companies should support the local community by providing facilities for sports and socializing" effectively uses a complex structure to introduce the topic. Additionally, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "Despite some supportive reasons" indicates an understanding of discourse markers that help in organizing ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as conditional clauses or varied subordinate clauses.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that include conditional clauses (e.g., "If companies invest in community facilities, they may improve their public image"). Additionally, varying the sentence openings and using more advanced grammatical forms, such as participial phrases or inversion, would contribute to a more dynamic writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the phrase "it’s commitment to social obligations" should be corrected to "its commitment to social obligations" to reflect the correct use of the possessive form. Additionally, the sentence "Despite some supportive reasons why big companies should provide sports and social appliances for the community" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are a few instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which have enhanced their brand visibility" to separate the non-defining relative clause.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch possessive and subject-verb agreement errors. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help clarify awkward constructions. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will enhance clarity and readability. Engaging in grammar exercises focused on common errors can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, but with targeted improvements in sentence variety and grammatical precision, the score could be elevated further.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely believed that large corporations should support the local community by providing facilities for sports and social activities. I partially concur with this perspective and will analyze it in detail in the following essay.

On the one hand, it is logical for proponents of large corporations providing sports and social facilities to argue that such initiatives offer opportunities for marketing and promotion, thereby enhancing a company’s public image. For instance, Apple, Microsoft, and other major corporations have been known to invest in local community projects, which have not only improved their brand visibility but also bolstered their reputation by fulfilling their corporate social responsibility. Furthermore, when investing in the local community, companies successfully send a strong message about their commitment to social obligations, potentially promoting customer loyalty and attracting new customers who value corporate social responsibility.

On the other hand, despite some supportive reasons for why large corporations should provide sports and social facilities for the community, many businesses lack the financial resources to simultaneously support the community and promote their growth. Sports and social facilities can be prohibitively expensive, deterring companies from further development. For example, instead of constructing a public sports complex, companies could allocate these funds to develop innovative products or enhance operational efficiency. This redirection of resources is essential for companies to remain competitive and ensure long-term growth. Additionally, it would be more beneficial if the company budget were spent on other aspects of work, such as salary increases, bonuses, and additional time off. Chief among these is to enhance job satisfaction, thereby encouraging employees to work more diligently. As a result, this approach contributes to the growth of the national economy and fosters a motivated and committed workforce.

In conclusion, while it is beneficial for companies to provide sports and social facilities, this should not be an obligation for all corporations. I firmly believe that companies should be allowed to concentrate fully on their business growth and employee productivity.