Some people think history has little or no meaning, while others say the study of the past helps us understand the present. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary society, the debate over whether studying history has negligible impacts or serves as a crucial means to comprehend the present continues to evolve. In this essay, I would discuss both perspectives before giving my opinion.

In the context of considering history as a useless subject to learn, perhaps this school of thought stems from the belief that individuals should focus on constructing a solid present for future development. This inclination is argued to be more profound than bother about past events, which are often believed somewhat irrelevant. Additionally, owing to the proliferation of technology, futuristic prospects are likely to be biased and provide adequate attention. For instance, in order to meet the current demand of markets, many industries and businesses are now operated by innovative proposals and new orientation, instead of applying traditional approaches. As in the past, pressing needs in specific fields like AI, environmental or globalization issues are still in its infancy, historical methods are currently out-dated, significantly hindering enhancement nowadays.

Contrastingly, having historical literacy might provide an access for humanity to more effective solutions for contemporary issues. Since historical documents serve as a connected door leading to past insights, obtaining them could offer various empirical lessons from many important historic events, inventions or researches. This contributes significantly in the formation of multilateral perspectives, thereby substantially reducing waste of efforts and funds at the present and in the near future. Furthermore, acquiring historical knowledge plays an integral role in shaping personality, especially for children. By receiving an education which highlights the sacrifices of their ancestors and predecessors throughout wars and risky investigations, a sense of gratitude is raised among the minors, further fostering other positively moral standards to be formed, resulting in a deeper appreciation for present situations.

To recapitulate, although gaining knowledge from history could be considered as worthless to some extent, it is undeniable the overwhelming benefits that are offered by history could assist humans’ future enhancement in various aspects.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"negligible impacts" -> "minimal impacts"
Explanation: "Negligible" typically implies something is almost imperceptible or of no consequence, which may not be the intended meaning in this context. "Minimal" is more appropriate as it suggests a smaller but still measurable impact, which is more suitable for academic discourse.
"crucial means to comprehend" -> "essential tool for understanding"
Explanation: "Means to comprehend" is somewhat awkward and less formal. "Essential tool for understanding" is more precise and aligns better with academic language, emphasizing the importance of history in comprehension.
"perhaps this school of thought stems from" -> "this perspective may arise from"
Explanation: "Perhaps" is somewhat informal and vague in academic writing. "May" is more formal and suitable for academic texts. Also, "perspective" is more specific than "school of thought," which can be too broad and vague.
"bother about" -> "concerned with"
Explanation: "Bother about" is colloquial and informal. "Concerned with" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"somewhat irrelevant" -> "largely irrelevant"
Explanation: "Somewhat" is vague and less precise. "Largely" provides a clearer degree of irrelevance, which is more suitable for academic arguments.
"futuristic prospects" -> "future prospects"
Explanation: "Futuristic" is an adjective typically used to describe something as futuristic in style or design, not as a noun. "Future prospects" is the correct term for referring to potential outcomes or possibilities in the future.
"bias" -> "biasing"
Explanation: "Bias" is a noun, whereas "biasing" is the gerund form, which is more appropriate when describing the process of influencing or distorting information.
"operated by" -> "operated with"
Explanation: "Operated by" suggests agency or control, which may not be the intended meaning. "Operated with" is more neutral and suitable for describing the use of technology in business.
"out-dated" -> "outdated"
Explanation: "Out-dated" is a misspelling. "Outdated" is the correct spelling and is more formal.
"substantially hindering enhancement nowadays" -> "substantially hindering progress currently"
Explanation: "Enhancement" is not typically used in this context; "progress" is more appropriate. Also, "nowadays" is informal and less precise; "currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"plays an integral role" -> "plays a crucial role"
Explanation: "Integral" typically refers to something that is essential to the structure or composition of something else. "Crucial" better conveys the importance of historical knowledge in shaping personality.
"raising a sense of gratitude" -> "instilling a sense of gratitude"
Explanation: "Raising" is less precise in this context; "instilling" is more appropriate as it implies a deeper, more lasting impact on the development of moral standards.
"further fostering other positively moral standards" -> "further fostering additional moral standards"
Explanation: "Other positively moral standards" is awkward and unclear. "Additional moral standards" is clearer and maintains the formal tone.
"could assist humans’ future enhancement" -> "could contribute to human advancement"
Explanation: "Assist humans’ future enhancement" is awkward and unclear. "Contribute to human advancement" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the significance of studying history. The first body paragraph presents the argument that history is irrelevant, citing contemporary technological advancements and the need for innovation. The second body paragraph counters this by highlighting the benefits of historical knowledge, such as learning from past events and shaping moral values. However, while both perspectives are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of each view, as the argument against the relevance of history is less developed compared to the argument in favor of it.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer could provide more specific examples or evidence for the viewpoint that history is irrelevant. This could include references to specific industries or instances where historical knowledge has been deemed unnecessary. Additionally, ensuring that both views are given equal weight in terms of detail and examples would strengthen the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that favors the study of history, particularly in the conclusion. The writer states that despite some views deeming history as worthless, its benefits are undeniable. However, the transition from discussing both views to the writer’s opinion could be smoother. The opinion is somewhat buried in the conclusion rather than being explicitly stated earlier in the essay.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion earlier in the essay, perhaps in the introduction or at the end of the first body paragraph. This would help guide the reader and make the stance more prominent throughout the discussion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the benefits of historical knowledge are articulated. The use of phrases like “connected door leading to past insights” and “various empirical lessons” demonstrates an attempt to extend ideas. However, some arguments could be further elaborated, particularly the point about technological advancements overshadowing historical relevance, which lacks concrete examples.
- How to improve: To enhance this criterion, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. For instance, citing specific historical events that have shaped current societal values or innovations would provide stronger support for the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt effectively. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the discussion of technological advancements could be more directly linked to the argument about the irrelevance of history. The phrase “pressing needs in specific fields like AI, environmental or globalization issues” could be more explicitly tied back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of the essay. This can be achieved by explicitly linking examples and arguments back to the relevance of history in understanding the present, thereby reinforcing the connection between the points made and the overall topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument, but with some adjustments in balance, clarity of position, and support for ideas, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two perspectives on the value of studying history. Each viewpoint is explored in separate paragraphs, which aids in logical organization. However, the transition between discussing the first viewpoint and the second could be smoother. For example, the phrase "Contrastingly" is used, but a more explicit connection to the previous argument could enhance clarity. The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion but could benefit from a stronger restatement of the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas, such as "On the other hand" or "In contrast to this view." Additionally, ensure that each paragraph not only presents a viewpoint but also connects back to the main thesis, reinforcing how each argument contributes to the overall discussion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, the second paragraph is somewhat lengthy and could be broken down into two smaller paragraphs to enhance clarity and focus. For instance, one paragraph could address the argument against studying history, while another could discuss the implications of this viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, aim for a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that encapsulates its main idea. This will help guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to maintain reader engagement and clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "additionally," "for instance," and "furthermore," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. Some phrases are repeated, which can lead to redundancy and diminish the overall cohesion of the essay. For example, the phrase "historical knowledge" appears multiple times without variation.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid repetition. Additionally, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "moreover," "consequently," or "in addition," to enhance the flow of ideas. This will not only improve cohesion but also make the writing more engaging.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, but with targeted improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms like "negligible impacts," "profound," "proliferation," and "historical literacy." These choices reflect an ability to express complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "pressing needs in specific fields" could be enhanced by using synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical range, consider incorporating synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "historical," you might use "past," "ancestral," or "historical context." Additionally, using idiomatic expressions or collocations can enrich the vocabulary further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "which are often believed somewhat irrelevant" could be more clearly articulated. The use of "bother about past events" is also somewhat awkward and could lead to confusion about the intended meaning.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in word choice. Instead of "bother about," consider using "concerned with" or "focused on." Additionally, rephrasing "which are often believed somewhat irrelevant" to "which are often considered irrelevant" would enhance clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays good spelling accuracy, with only minor errors such as "its infancy" (should be "their infancy") and "historical methods are currently out-dated" (should be "outdated"). These errors, while not frequent, can detract from the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to read through the essay slowly, focusing specifically on spelling. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can also help catch errors before submission.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, but there are opportunities for improvement in precision, variety, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "In the context of considering history as a useless subject to learn, perhaps this school of thought stems from the belief that individuals should focus on constructing a solid present for future development." This showcases the ability to connect ideas effectively. However, there are instances of less varied structures, such as the repetitive use of "this" and "that" in several sentences, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound and complex sentences, and varying the introductory phrases. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This" or "Additionally," try using phrases like "Moreover," "Conversely," or "On the other hand." Additionally, integrating more passive voice constructions or conditional sentences could diversify the grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good command of grammar and punctuation, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, in the phrase "pressing needs in specific fields like AI, environmental or globalization issues are still in its infancy," the subject-verb agreement is incorrect; "needs" is plural, so it should be "are still in their infancy." Furthermore, the use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences where additional commas could clarify meaning, such as after introductory clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that plural subjects match with plural verbs. Regular practice with exercises that emphasize these rules can be beneficial. For punctuation, review the rules for using commas, especially in complex sentences. Consider using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct punctuation errors before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to detail in sentence variety and grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, the debate over whether studying history has minimal impacts or serves as an essential tool for understanding the present continues to evolve. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives before giving my opinion.

From the viewpoint that history is a useless subject to learn, this perspective may arise from the belief that individuals should focus on constructing a solid present for future development. This inclination is argued to be more profound than concerning oneself with past events, which are often deemed largely irrelevant. Additionally, due to the proliferation of technology, future prospects are likely to be biased and receive adequate attention. For instance, to meet the current demands of markets, many industries and businesses are now operated with innovative proposals and new orientations, rather than relying on traditional approaches. As pressing needs in specific fields like AI, environmental issues, or globalization are still in their infancy, historical methods are currently outdated, substantially hindering progress at present.

Contrastingly, possessing historical literacy may provide humanity with more effective solutions for contemporary issues. Since historical documents serve as a connected door to past insights, accessing them could offer various empirical lessons from significant historic events, inventions, or research. This contributes significantly to the formation of multilateral perspectives, thereby reducing the waste of efforts and funds both now and in the near future. Furthermore, acquiring historical knowledge plays a crucial role in shaping personality, especially for children. By receiving an education that highlights the sacrifices of their ancestors and predecessors throughout wars and risky investigations, a sense of gratitude is instilled among the youth, further fostering additional moral standards and resulting in a deeper appreciation for present situations.

To recapitulate, although some may consider gaining knowledge from history to be largely irrelevant, it is undeniable that the overwhelming benefits offered by history could contribute to human advancement in various aspects.