Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Please discuss the two views and give your own opinion.

Opinions are divided on whether history can illuminate on the present or not. In this essay, I will attempt to examine both perspective before concluding that history can definitely help people gain clarity of the current time.

Admittedly, it is reasonable to some extent to say that the past cannot offer information. This is predicated on the premise that past events are separated periods and have no interconnectedness with each other's. For instance, the battles of many countries might not be able to tell anything about the current international relationships during this time of worldwide collaboration. This is to say what happened in the past can no longer have a connection to the present.

Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that delving into the history allows people to gain insight about today. For example, from a biological level, the investigation of the root virus name “Sar” which emerged in 2010 enabled scientists to acquire more information regarding the recent covid-19 pandemic, happening in 2019, which contributed to the creation of vaccines. Furthermore, on an astronomical level, the observation of the activity of celestial bodies and planets can provide data about the next astronomical events. A pertinent example of this is the lunar eclipse, which was precisely predicted to appear at which hours during the day by calculating the duration of the moon and the sun in the past decades. This underlines the notion that the present can be shed light on by the past events.

In conclusion, while the idea that the past cannot reveal the present holds some validity, I still believe otherwise since historical data can contribute to people’s understanding of biology relating to diseases, as well as the movement of planets.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Opinions are divided on whether history can illuminate on the present or not." -> "Opinions are divided on whether history can illuminate the present or not."
Explanation: Removing "on" after "illuminate" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with formal academic style by using the correct preposition "the" after "illuminate."
"I will attempt to examine both perspective" -> "I will examine both perspectives"
Explanation: "Perspective" should be pluralized to "perspectives" to match the plural context of "both."
"it is reasonable to some extent to say that the past cannot offer information" -> "it is reasonable to argue that the past does not provide information"
Explanation: "Argue" is more precise and formal than "say," and "does not provide" is more direct and academically appropriate than "cannot offer."
"predicated on the premise that past events are separated periods and have no interconnectedness with each other’s" -> "based on the premise that past events are discrete periods with no interconnection between them"
Explanation: "Discrete periods" is more precise than "separated periods," and "interconnection" is more formal than "interconnectedness." Additionally, removing "each other’s" corrects the awkward phrasing.
"the battles of many countries might not be able to tell anything about the current international relationships during this time of worldwide collaboration" -> "battles in various countries may not provide insight into current international relations during this era of global cooperation"
Explanation: "Provide insight into" is more precise than "tell anything about," and "global cooperation" is more formal than "worldwide collaboration."
"This is to say what happened in the past can no longer have a connection to the present." -> "This implies that past events are no longer connected to the present."
Explanation: "This implies" is more formal and precise than "This is to say," and the rephrasing simplifies and clarifies the sentence.
"delving into the history allows people to gain insight about today" -> "examining historical records provides insight into contemporary issues"
Explanation: "Examining historical records" is more specific and formal than "delving into the history," and "contemporary issues" is more precise than "today."
"the investigation of the root virus name “Sar” which emerged in 2010 enabled scientists to acquire more information regarding the recent covid-19 pandemic, happening in 2019" -> "the investigation of the root virus "SARS" which emerged in 2002 enabled scientists to gather more information about the COVID-19 pandemic, which occurred in 2019"
Explanation: Corrects the virus name to "SARS" and the year to 2002, as SARS emerged in 2002, not 2010. Also, "gather" is more formal than "acquire," and "which occurred" is more precise than "happening."
"the observation of the activity of celestial bodies and planets can provide data about the next astronomical events" -> "the observation of celestial body and planetary activity can provide data on forthcoming astronomical events"
Explanation: "Celestial body and planetary activity" is more precise and formal, and "forthcoming" is more academically appropriate than "next."
"A pertinent example of this is the lunar eclipse, which was precisely predicted to appear at which hours during the day by calculating the duration of the moon and the sun in the past decades" -> "a pertinent example is the lunar eclipse, which was precisely predicted to occur at specific times by calculating the moon and sun’s durations over past decades"
Explanation: "Occur at specific times" is more precise and formal than "appear at which hours during the day," and "moon and sun’s durations" is more concise and formal than "duration of the moon and the sun."
"This underlines the notion that the present can be shed light on by the past events." -> "This underscores the notion that the present can be illuminated by past events."
Explanation: "Underlines" is corrected to "underscores" for grammatical accuracy, and "can be illuminated" is more formal and precise than "can be shed light on."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the relevance of history in understanding the present. The first viewpoint is acknowledged with a clear argument that history may not provide useful insights, illustrated by the example of historical battles and their perceived lack of relevance to current international relations. The second viewpoint is presented with a strong counter-argument, emphasizing the importance of historical knowledge in understanding contemporary issues, particularly in science and astronomy. However, the discussion could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both perspectives, as the first viewpoint is less developed compared to the second.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide a more detailed examination of the first viewpoint. This could include additional examples or elaboration on why some believe history is irrelevant. A more balanced approach would strengthen the overall argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that history is valuable for understanding the present, which is stated explicitly in the introduction and conclusion. The writer consistently supports this position throughout the essay, particularly in the second half where they provide specific examples. However, the transition between discussing the two viewpoints could be smoother to reinforce the writer’s stance more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases to better connect the discussion of the two viewpoints. For instance, explicitly stating how the first viewpoint leads into the second could help reinforce the overall argument. Additionally, reiterating the main position in the body paragraphs would help maintain focus.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, particularly in the second viewpoint where the writer provides specific examples related to biology and astronomy. The examples of the SARS virus and lunar eclipses are relevant and effectively support the argument. However, the first viewpoint lacks depth and sufficient supporting evidence, which diminishes the overall strength of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more examples and elaboration for both viewpoints. For the first viewpoint, discussing historical events that are often cited as irrelevant and explaining why they are viewed that way could add depth. Additionally, integrating more detailed explanations of how historical insights can apply to current situations would strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s request to discuss both views and provide a personal opinion. However, there are moments where the connection between the examples and the main argument could be clearer. For instance, while the examples of SARS and lunar eclipses are relevant, the link to the broader argument about the importance of history could be more explicitly stated.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each example directly ties back to the main argument. This could involve explicitly stating how each example illustrates the importance of historical knowledge in understanding contemporary issues. Additionally, ensuring that all parts of the essay contribute to the central thesis will help maintain coherence and relevance throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. However, the logical progression between ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from the first body paragraph discussing the limitations of history to the second paragraph advocating for its relevance feels abrupt. The use of phrases like "Nonetheless" helps, but additional linking phrases could enhance the flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the limitations of history, a phrase like "On the contrary" or "In contrast" could better signal the shift to the opposing view. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes its main idea will help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph addresses the view that history has little relevance, while the second supports the idea that history can provide valuable insights. However, the first body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more structured development of ideas. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the argument but could reiterate the main points more clearly to reinforce the essay’s overall message.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each body paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Some argue that history is disconnected from contemporary issues." Additionally, consider using more supporting sentences that elaborate on the topic sentence, providing examples or explanations that reinforce the argument within each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Admittedly," "Nonetheless," and "For example," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a greater variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence. For instance, the phrase "This is to say" is somewhat awkward and could be replaced with a more conventional transition.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" to introduce additional supporting points, and "Conversely" or "On the other hand" to present opposing views. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help to create a smoother flow of information throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "illuminate on the present," "interconnectedness," and "delving into history." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, terms like "information," "insight," and "data" are repeated, which detracts from the overall lexical variety. Additionally, some phrases, such as "the past cannot offer information," are overly simplistic and could benefit from more nuanced vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. For example, instead of repeatedly using "information," they could use "knowledge," "insights," or "data." Exploring more sophisticated phrases or idiomatic expressions related to history and its relevance could also enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the battles of many countries might not be able to tell anything about the current international relationships" could be more accurately expressed. The use of "tell" in this context is vague and does not convey the intended meaning effectively. Furthermore, the phrase "the investigation of the root virus name ‘Sar’" is awkward and could be clearer.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that conveys their ideas more clearly. Instead of "tell," they could use "reflect" or "inform." The phrase regarding the virus could be revised to "the investigation into the origins of the virus known as ‘SARS’." This precision will enhance clarity and strengthen the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only a few minor errors. However, there is a notable misspelling of "SARS" as "Sar," which could lead to confusion. Additionally, the phrase "the past cannot offer information" could be misinterpreted if not spelled correctly, as it lacks specificity.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, paying particular attention to proper nouns and technical terms. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors before submission. Regular practice with vocabulary lists and spelling exercises can also reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding their vocabulary, using more precise language, and carefully checking for spelling errors, the writer can enhance their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the opening sentence, "Opinions are divided on whether history can illuminate on the present or not," effectively uses a complex structure. Additionally, the use of phrases like "this is predicated on the premise" and "for example" showcases an attempt to incorporate more sophisticated language. However, some sentences are somewhat repetitive in structure, such as "This is to say what happened in the past can no longer have a connection to the present," which could be rephrased for variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words to connect ideas. For instance, using phrases like "In contrast," "Conversely," or "Moreover," can help diversify sentence openings. Additionally, the writer could experiment with more complex clauses, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If we consider…") or participial phrases (e.g., "Having examined…").
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, with a few notable exceptions. For instance, the phrase "the past cannot offer information" is grammatically correct, but the use of "illuminate on" is awkward; the correct phrase would be "illuminate the present." Additionally, punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are some run-on sentences that could benefit from clearer separation. For example, the sentence "This is to say what happened in the past can no longer have a connection to the present" could be improved with a comma before "can" for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review common collocations and idiomatic expressions, ensuring that phrases are used correctly. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors, such as run-on sentences and punctuation rules, can also be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading for clarity and coherence will help in identifying awkward phrases and correcting them before submission.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and a good command of grammatical structures. With targeted practice in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions are divided on whether history can illuminate the present or not. In this essay, I will attempt to examine both perspectives before concluding that history can definitely help people gain clarity about the current time.

Admittedly, it is reasonable to some extent to argue that the past does not provide information. This is based on the premise that past events are discrete periods with no interconnection between them. For instance, the battles in various countries may not provide insight into current international relations during this era of global cooperation. This implies that past events are no longer connected to the present.

Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that delving into history allows people to gain insight into today. For example, from a biological perspective, the investigation of the root virus known as “SARS,” which emerged in 2010, enabled scientists to acquire more information regarding the recent COVID-19 pandemic that occurred in 2019, which contributed to the creation of vaccines. Furthermore, on an astronomical level, the observation of celestial bodies and planetary activity can provide data on forthcoming astronomical events. A pertinent example is the lunar eclipse, which was precisely predicted to occur at specific times by calculating the moon and sun’s durations over past decades. This underscores the notion that the present can be illuminated by past events.