Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children. Others think parents need not do that as children can read books or watch TV and movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

In the topic of evoking children’s interest in reading, the mass majority of parents agree that it is undeniably crucial for a comprehensive development, especially during their formative years, but there is not much consensus on how to get there. While passionate supporters of parental assistance emphasize its transformative power, others believe such strategy is unnecessary as children can approach other sources of information on their own. The following essay will analyze these views before providing my personal standpoint, which posits that the key lies not solely in children’s self approach, but also in parental involvement.
Advocates of independent reading frequently hold a fascination for this method. They argue that by giving children the freedom of choice at an early stage of life can nurture their self-autonomy and determination. With the large coverage of technology, there are no barrier hindering children to explore the wondrous world, they can engulf themselves in intriguing plot and read it at their own pace. Nowhere is this more evident than the overwhelming success of educational systems in countries such as Finland and Japan which emphasize individual learning and children there are encouraged to read and explore independently. However, colorful games and cartoons are ubiquitous on the internet, which can be a temptation driving them away from reading. Moreover, spending a long screen time can greatly impair children’s eyesight and cause headache.
On the flip side, proponents of a more holistic approach maintain that there is no substitute for the force of parental influence. In essence, relying solely on the kids themselves can be likened to building a house on a foundation of sand, which is anything but stable. Even if children are interested in reading in the first place, their inquisitiveness about the world can soon distract them from the main track. In contrast, hearing stories from parents can leave an unerasable impression, which deep-roots the love for stories in their mind, therefore creating a habit of reading for children. Furthermore, telling stories to children can strengthen the family bond. Spending more quality time with family members can bridge the gap of generations and make them understand each other.
In conclusion, the debate around encouraging children to read is not only about opting out the ultimate method, but also about finding a balanced approach. Children’s self-motivation alone, regardless of the seemingly endless faith placed in it, is by no means the sole answer. With parental interference, a healthy reading habit can be fostered and will do wonders for children in the long term.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"mass majority" -> "majority"
Explanation: "Mass majority" is an incorrect term. The correct term is "majority," which is a standard academic expression.
"comprehensive development" -> "comprehensive development"
Explanation: The term "comprehensive development" is correct and does not need modification.
"passionate supporters" -> "strong advocates"
Explanation: "Passionate supporters" may sound overly emotional for an academic context. "Strong advocates" maintains a formal tone while conveying the same meaning.
"such strategy" -> "such an approach"
Explanation: "Strategy" is too broad and vague in this context; "approach" is more specific and appropriate for discussing methods in academic writing.
"children’s self approach" -> "children’s self-directed approach"
Explanation: "Self approach" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Self-directed approach" is the correct phrase, enhancing clarity and formality.
"With the large coverage of technology" -> "With the widespread availability of technology"
Explanation: "Large coverage" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Widespread availability" is more precise and appropriate for describing the accessibility of technology.
"they can engulf themselves" -> "they can immerse themselves"
Explanation: "Engulf" is not the correct verb in this context. "Immerse" is the correct term for describing being fully engaged in an activity, such as reading.
"Nowhere is this more evident than" -> "This is particularly evident in"
Explanation: "Nowhere is this more evident than" is a bit informal and vague. "This is particularly evident in" is more direct and formal.
"children there are encouraged" -> "children are encouraged"
Explanation: The phrase "children there are" is awkward and redundant. Simplifying it to "children are" improves readability and formality.
"colorful games and cartoons" -> "engaging games and cartoons"
Explanation: "Colorful" is not a precise descriptor for the type of content. "Engaging" better captures the quality of the content that might distract children from reading.
"spending a long screen time" -> "spending extended periods of screen time"
Explanation: "Long screen time" is informal and imprecise. "Extended periods of screen time" is more specific and formal.
"cause headache" -> "cause headaches"
Explanation: "Cause headache" is grammatically incorrect. "Cause headaches" is the correct form, aligning with standard English usage.
"the force of parental influence" -> "the influence of parental guidance"
Explanation: "The force of parental influence" is somewhat metaphorical and less precise. "The influence of parental guidance" is clearer and more direct.
"can be likened to building a house on a foundation of sand" -> "is analogous to building a house on a foundation of sand"
Explanation: "Can be likened to" is less direct and slightly informal. "Is analogous to" is more formal and academically appropriate.
"deep-roots the love for stories" -> "deeply roots the love for stories"
Explanation: "Deep-roots" is a typographical error. "Deeply roots" is the correct form, ensuring grammatical accuracy.
"opting out the ultimate method" -> "choosing the optimal method"
Explanation: "Opting out the ultimate method" is incorrect and unclear. "Choosing the optimal method" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"parental interference" -> "parental involvement"
Explanation: "Interference" implies unwanted or negative action. "Involvement" is more neutral and appropriate for describing the positive role of parents in children’s reading habits.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding whether parents should read or tell stories to children or if children can engage with books and media independently. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, and the body paragraphs provide a balanced discussion of each viewpoint. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of independent reading, while the second highlights the importance of parental involvement. However, the essay could have provided a more explicit comparison of the two views in the conclusion to reinforce the discussion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a more direct comparison of the two perspectives in the conclusion, summarizing the strengths and weaknesses of each side before stating their own opinion. This would ensure that all parts of the question are not only addressed but also synthesized effectively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that advocates for a balanced approach, acknowledging the importance of both independent reading and parental involvement. The phrase "the key lies not solely in children’s self approach, but also in parental involvement" establishes a clear stance early on. However, there are moments where the position could be emphasized more strongly, particularly in the conclusion, which could be more assertive in stating the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position throughout, the writer should consistently reiterate their viewpoint in each paragraph and ensure that the conclusion strongly reaffirms their stance. Phrases that directly connect back to the main argument can help reinforce the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, using examples such as the educational systems in Finland and Japan to illustrate the benefits of independent reading. The argument for parental involvement is also supported with reasoning about the emotional and developmental benefits of storytelling. However, some points could be further elaborated, particularly the potential drawbacks of independent reading, which are mentioned but not deeply explored.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could provide more detailed examples or evidence for the claims made, particularly regarding the negative impacts of excessive screen time on children’s reading habits. Additionally, expanding on the emotional benefits of storytelling could further substantiate the argument for parental involvement.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate about parental involvement versus independent reading. Each paragraph addresses relevant aspects of the prompt, and the transitions between ideas are mostly smooth. However, there are a few instances where the discussion could be more tightly focused, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the mention of technology could be more directly linked to the central argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question. This can be achieved by explicitly connecting examples and arguments back to the prompt, ensuring that all content remains relevant to the discussion of parental involvement versus independent reading.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By addressing the suggested areas for improvement, the writer could further enhance the clarity and depth of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both viewpoints, and a concise conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the two perspectives on parental involvement in children’s reading habits. Each body paragraph logically follows the previous one, with the first paragraph focusing on the benefits of independent reading and the second addressing the importance of parental storytelling. This logical progression aids the reader in understanding the contrasting views.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For instance, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase such as "Conversely," or "On the other hand," could reinforce the transition from discussing independent reading to parental involvement. Additionally, summarizing the key points of each viewpoint before transitioning to the conclusion could further clarify the argument structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which contributes to clarity. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the use of topic sentences helps guide the reader. For example, the first body paragraph begins with a clear statement about the advocates of independent reading, while the second paragraph introduces the opposing view regarding parental influence.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, ensuring that each paragraph contains a balanced amount of information could improve coherence. The first body paragraph is slightly longer and more detailed than the second. Consider expanding the second paragraph with additional examples or elaboration on the benefits of parental storytelling to create a more balanced discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transitional phrases, to connect ideas. Phrases like "On the flip side" and "In conclusion" effectively signal shifts in perspective and summarize arguments. The use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall flow of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeating "However" at the beginning of the second body paragraph, alternatives like "Nevertheless" or "Nonetheless" could enhance the richness of the language. Additionally, using more specific referential pronouns (e.g., "this approach," "such methods") can help maintain coherence and reduce repetition of phrases.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively presenting and contrasting the two views on parental involvement in children’s reading habits. By implementing the suggested improvements, the clarity and flow of the argument can be further enhanced, potentially raising the score even higher.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "comprehensive development," "transformative power," and "holistic approach." These expressions show an ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "children" could be replaced with synonyms like "youngsters" or "youth" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To further improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and expressions throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "reading," consider alternatives like "literature engagement" or "book exploration." This will not only enrich the vocabulary but also make the writing more engaging.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "there are no barrier hindering children" should be corrected to "there are no barriers hindering children." Additionally, the term "self approach" is vague and could be more clearly articulated as "self-directed approach" or "independent learning."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should review their work for clarity and correctness. It may be beneficial to use a thesaurus to find more precise terms that convey the intended meaning. Furthermore, ensuring grammatical accuracy in phrases will improve the overall clarity of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "barrier" (should be "barriers") and "headache" (should be "headaches"). These minor mistakes can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may affect the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their essay carefully, possibly reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can also help identify mistakes before finalizing the essay. Additionally, practicing spelling common academic vocabulary can enhance overall writing quality.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can elevate their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While passionate supporters of parental assistance emphasize its transformative power, others believe such strategy is unnecessary as children can approach other sources of information on their own" effectively convey contrasting views. There are also instances of compound sentences, such as "Spending more quality time with family members can bridge the gap of generations and make them understand each other," which enhance the flow of ideas. However, some sentences could benefit from further complexity or variation, such as the repetitive use of "can" and "which" in several sentences.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied conjunctions and relative clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly using "can," you might use "may" or "might" to introduce possibility. Additionally, integrating more passive constructions or conditional clauses could add depth to your writing. For instance, rephrasing "Spending a long screen time can greatly impair children’s eyesight" to "Prolonged screen time may lead to significant impairment of children’s eyesight" introduces a different structure and enhances the sophistication of the argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some instances where punctuation could be improved for clarity. For example, in the sentence "With the large coverage of technology, there are no barrier hindering children to explore the wondrous world, they can engulf themselves in intriguing plot and read it at their own pace," the comma splice creates a run-on sentence. Additionally, "there are no barrier" should be corrected to "there are no barriers" to maintain subject-verb agreement.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that plural nouns are matched with plural verbs. It would also be beneficial to break up long sentences into shorter, clearer ones to avoid run-on sentences. For instance, the aforementioned sentence could be split into two: "With the large coverage of technology, there are no barriers hindering children from exploring the wondrous world. They can engulf themselves in intriguing plots and read at their own pace." This not only improves clarity but also maintains the reader’s engagement.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, you can further elevate the quality of your writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the topic of evoking children’s interest in reading, the majority of parents agree that it is undeniably crucial for comprehensive development, especially during their formative years, but there is not much consensus on how to achieve this. While passionate advocates of parental assistance emphasize its transformative power, others believe such an approach is unnecessary as children can access other sources of information on their own. The following essay will analyze these views before providing my personal standpoint, which posits that the key lies not solely in children’s self-directed approach, but also in parental involvement.

Advocates of independent reading frequently hold a fascination for this method. They argue that giving children the freedom of choice at an early stage of life can nurture their self-autonomy and determination. With the widespread availability of technology, there are no barriers hindering children from exploring the wondrous world; they can immerse themselves in intriguing plots and read at their own pace. Nowhere is this more evident than in the overwhelming success of educational systems in countries such as Finland and Japan, which emphasize individual learning, where children are encouraged to read and explore independently. However, engaging games and cartoons are ubiquitous on the internet, which can tempt them away from reading. Moreover, spending extended periods of screen time can greatly impair children’s eyesight and cause headaches.

On the flip side, proponents of a more holistic approach maintain that there is no substitute for the influence of parental guidance. In essence, relying solely on the kids themselves can be likened to building a house on a foundation of sand, which is anything but stable. Even if children are interested in reading initially, their inquisitiveness about the world can soon distract them from the main track. In contrast, hearing stories from parents can leave an unerasable impression, which deeply roots the love for stories in their minds, thereby creating a habit of reading for children. Furthermore, telling stories to children can strengthen the family bond. Spending more quality time with family members can bridge the gap between generations and help them understand each other better.

In conclusion, the debate around encouraging children to read is not only about choosing the optimal method but also about finding a balanced approach. Children’s self-motivation alone, regardless of the seemingly endless faith placed in it, is by no means the sole answer. With parental involvement, a healthy reading habit can be fostered, which will do wonders for children in the long term.