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Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Opinions diverge on whether only paying taxes or additional responsibilities can significantly contribute to individuals’ society. While the former influences their society somehow, I strongly advocate that the former exerts a greater positive impact on their community and the environment.

Proponents of taxes as a sufficient contribution argue that it provides financial resources for government. In fact, taxes from residents facilitates the government to invest most of these revenue in constructing modern infrastructure or improving high-quality education that have direct impacts on their overall quality of life. These facilities and services enable citizens to reap some benefits from it such as addressing some commuting obstacles, thus leading to a sense of satisfaction among them and guaranteeing living standards for all socioeconomic groups. Moreover, it is still somewhat attributed to social equity because residents often pay taxes based on their levels of income. Undoubtedly, the upper classes have to pay more taxes compared to the less wealthy groups. Therefore, taxes from the wealth can compensate for other groups, thereby creating an equitable society.

On the other hand, there are two justifications that they should bear more responsibilities for society. The foremost one is that they can tackle some pressing issues. Given that environmental problems are exacerbated over time, it requires collective action from both the government and individuals in order to alleviate these issues. For example, residents should be environmentally conscious and have responsible consumption habits such as consuming products with minimal packaging and using recyclable ones. These approaches can reduce waste from natural resources and preserve these invaluable resources for future generations. Furthermore, they can address some social issues. They can engage in voluntary programs to support emotional and financial incentives for disadvantaged people, possibly leading to a sense of empathy and solidary as well as promoting the betterment of society as a whole.

In conclusion, both views have their own merits. However, on balance, I am of the opinion that individuals should assume additional responsibilities rather than solely paying taxes owing to the reduced seriousness of both environmental and social problems.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Opinions diverge on whether only paying taxes or additional responsibilities can significantly contribute to individuals’ society." -> "Opinions vary on whether contributing solely through taxes or taking on additional responsibilities significantly benefits individuals and society."
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks precision and uses informal language. The suggested revision clarifies the alternatives being discussed and improves the formality of expression.

  2. "While the former influences their society somehow, I strongly advocate that the former exerts a greater positive impact on their community and the environment." -> "While the former contributes to society to some extent, I strongly contend that the latter exerts a more substantial positive impact on both the community and the environment."
    Explanation: The term "somehow" is vague and informal. Replacing it with "to some extent" enhances clarity. Additionally, replacing "advocate" with "contend" and "stronger positive impact" with "more substantial positive impact" elevates the formality of the statement.

  3. "Proponents of taxes as a sufficient contribution argue that it provides financial resources for government." -> "Advocates of taxes as a significant contribution contend that it furnishes financial resources for the government."
    Explanation: The term "sufficient" is imprecise and informal. Replacing it with "significant" adds clarity and formality. Using "advocates" instead of "proponents" and "contend" instead of "argue" also contributes to a more formal tone.

  4. "In fact, taxes from residents facilitates the government to invest most of these revenue in constructing modern infrastructure or improving high-quality education that have direct impacts on their overall quality of life." -> "Indeed, taxes collected from residents enable the government to invest a majority of this revenue in constructing modern infrastructure or enhancing high-quality education, both of which have direct impacts on their overall quality of life."
    Explanation: The phrase "facilitates the government to invest" is awkward and less formal. The suggested revision uses "enable" to convey the same meaning in a more formal manner. Additionally, the restructuring enhances the overall flow and formality of the sentence.

  5. "Moreover, it is still somewhat attributed to social equity because residents often pay taxes based on their levels of income." -> "Moreover, it is partially attributed to social equity as residents frequently pay taxes commensurate with their income levels."
    Explanation: The phrase "it is still somewhat attributed" is imprecise and informal. Replacing it with "it is partially attributed" adds clarity and formality to the statement. Using "commensurate with" instead of "based on" contributes to a more formal tone.

  6. "Undoubtedly, the upper classes have to pay more taxes compared to the less wealthy groups." -> "Undoubtedly, the affluent classes are obligated to contribute a higher tax burden compared to less affluent groups."
    Explanation: The term "upper classes" is less formal. Replacing it with "affluent classes" enhances formality. The suggested revision also uses "contribute a higher tax burden" for clarity and formality.

  7. "On the other hand, there are two justifications that they should bear more responsibilities for society." -> "On the contrary, there are two justifications supporting the notion that individuals should assume greater responsibilities for society."
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and formality. The suggested revision rephrases to enhance clarity and uses "supporting the notion" for a more formal expression.

  8. "Given that environmental problems are exacerbated over time, it requires collective action from both the government and individuals in order to alleviate these issues." -> "Considering that environmental problems worsen over time, addressing these issues necessitates collective action from both the government and individuals."
    Explanation: The phrase "it requires" is less formal. Replacing it with "addressing these issues necessitates" maintains formality and clarity.

  9. "They can engage in voluntary programs to support emotional and financial incentives for disadvantaged people, possibly leading to a sense of empathy and solidary as well as promoting the betterment of society as a whole." -> "Individuals can participate in voluntary programs to provide emotional and financial support to disadvantaged people, potentially fostering empathy and solidarity, and contributing to the overall improvement of society."
    Explanation: The original sentence is wordy and uses informal language. The suggested revision streamlines the expression and enhances formality while maintaining clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "While the former influences their society somehow, I strongly advocate that the former exerts a greater positive impact on their community and the environment."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction is clear in presenting your opinion, but there’s a redundancy in stating "the former" twice, which might cause confusion. Additionally, it would be beneficial to provide a brief preview of the main points you will discuss in the essay for better clarity.
    • Improved example: "While taxes do influence society to some extent, I firmly believe that assuming additional responsibilities has a more profound positive impact on both the community and the environment. In this essay, I will explore these perspectives and provide supporting examples."
  2. Quoted text: "In fact, taxes from residents facilitate the government to invest most of these revenue in constructing modern infrastructure or improving high-quality education that has direct impacts on their overall quality of life."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The sentence is well-structured, but it could be more concise. Consider rephrasing for clarity and brevity. Additionally, provide a specific example to support your point and make your argument more convincing.
    • Improved example: "Taxes from residents enable the government to invest in modern infrastructure and enhance high-quality education, directly improving overall quality of life. For instance, increased funding in education can lead to smaller class sizes and better resources, benefiting students significantly."
  3. Quoted text: "Residents should be environmentally conscious and have responsible consumption habits such as consuming products with minimal packaging and using recyclable ones."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your point on environmental responsibility is valid, but it lacks depth. Expand on how individual actions contribute to solving environmental issues. Provide specific examples of responsible consumption habits to make your argument more compelling.
    • Improved example: "Residents should actively practice environmentally conscious habits, such as opting for products with minimal packaging and prioritizing recyclable items. For instance, choosing reusable shopping bags and reducing single-use plastic consumption are tangible steps that individuals can take to contribute to environmental sustainability."

Overall, while your essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position, enhancing clarity and providing more specific examples would strengthen your argument and elevate your score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, although there might be a slight tendency towards overuse or underuse in some instances. Each paragraph centers on a clear central topic, and there’s coherence within the essay, supporting a clear stance on the prompt.

How to improve: To enhance coherence, consider balancing the use of cohesive devices more evenly throughout the essay. While the essay effectively presents logical progression, ensuring a more consistent use of these devices can further elevate the overall coherence. Additionally, aim for a slightly more balanced treatment of both perspectives, even when favoring one side. This can enrich the depth of analysis and further strengthen the overall argumentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. The writer employs a mix of common and less common lexical items, contributing to a relatively varied vocabulary. There is awareness of style and collocation, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation that slightly impede the overall quality of lexical resource. For instance, the phrase "the former exerts" could be refined for better precision, and there are minor spelling errors, such as "solidary" instead of "solidarity."

The essay effectively conveys ideas using appropriate vocabulary related to the topic, such as "social equity," "socioeconomic groups," and "environmentally conscious." While there are instances of less common vocabulary, some inaccuracies and minor errors slightly impact the fluency and precision of lexical features.

How to improve:
To enhance the band score for Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on refining word choices for greater precision. Proofreading to correct spelling and word formation errors, such as "solidary," will further elevate the overall quality of lexical features. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and using it with more natural control will contribute to a more polished expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, including subordinate clauses and a mix of sentence forms. The overall control of grammar and punctuation is good, with frequent error-free sentences. The essay successfully communicates ideas, and the errors made are relatively minor, not significantly affecting overall understanding. There is a range of vocabulary used appropriately, contributing to the clarity of expression.

How to improve:
To move to a higher band score, consider enhancing the complexity of sentence structures further, incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and lengths. Additionally, ensure meticulous proofreading to eliminate minor errors, contributing to an even more polished and error-free essay. Expanding the range of vocabulary and using it with precision can also elevate the essay’s overall quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions vary regarding whether solely paying taxes or taking on additional responsibilities significantly benefits society. While the former does have an impact, I strongly advocate that assuming additional responsibilities has a greater positive influence on the community and the environment.

Supporters of the idea that taxes alone suffice argue that they provide crucial financial resources for the government. Taxes from residents enable investments in modern infrastructure and improved education, directly enhancing overall quality of life. These services help citizens overcome commuting obstacles, fostering satisfaction and ensuring decent living standards across different socioeconomic groups. Additionally, tax payments are often income-based, making it somewhat fair as higher-income groups contribute more, thus promoting social equity.

Conversely, there are compelling reasons for individuals to shoulder more responsibilities for society. One primary reason is their ability to address pressing issues. Environmental challenges, worsening over time, demand collective action. Both the government and individuals play crucial roles in mitigating these problems. For instance, residents adopting environmentally conscious habits like minimizing product packaging and favoring recyclable items can curb resource waste, preserving them for future generations. Furthermore, taking part in voluntary programs to support disadvantaged groups not only offers financial aid but also fosters empathy and solidarity, nurturing societal betterment.

In conclusion, while both perspectives hold merit, I am inclined to believe that individuals should embrace additional responsibilities rather than relying solely on taxes. This is due to the urgency of environmental and social issues, which demand more active involvement beyond financial contributions.

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