Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals view technology as an instrument for a sophisticated life and believe that turning away from technology will simplify our ways of living. I strongly disagree with this statement because technology has remarkably simplified life by improving human productivity and making worldwide communication possible.

First and foremost, technological advancements have significantly enhanced human work efficiency. Machines and computers can operate tirelessly and hardly make any errors since they are instructed by logical algorithms and scientific equations. Therefore, by utilizing the reliability advantage of technology, humans can work much faster and have more free time to relax and enjoy life. For instance, accountants can now apply Excel integrated formulas to create automatic spreadsheets for their financial reports within seconds instead of manually calculating each metric using the handheld calculator, which often takes days to complete and is error-prone.

Second, technology has simplified human ways of communication, a key factor leading to a high quality life. With the introduction of Wifi and mobile devices, people can communicate wirelessly regardless of geographical location, which was almost impossible a few decades back when sending letters was the only mode of long-range communication. This great capability has bonded and created quality time for countless families having children studying abroad or parents on overseas assignments. Emails and video conferencing have also made working much simpler and more enjoyable since people can work flexibly within the convenience of their home environment while still effectively updating work progress and sharing ideas with their colleagues on virtual platforms, like Zoom or Microsoft Teams.

In summary, life has become simpler thanks to the great conveniences in work and communication that only technology can provide.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some individuals view technology as an instrument for a sophisticated life" -> "Some individuals perceive technology as an instrument for enhancing their lives"
Explanation: The phrase "an instrument for a sophisticated life" is somewhat vague and informal. "Perceive technology as an instrument for enhancing their lives" is more precise and formal, clearly indicating the role of technology in improving lives.
"believe that turning away from technology will simplify our ways of living" -> "believe that abandoning technology would simplify our lifestyles"
Explanation: "Turning away from technology" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Abandoning technology" is more direct and formal, and "lifestyles" is a more appropriate term than "ways of living" in an academic context.
"remarkably simplified life" -> "significantly simplified life"
Explanation: "Remarkably" is somewhat informal and less precise in this context. "Significantly" is more commonly used in academic writing to denote substantial changes.
"making worldwide communication possible" -> "facilitating global communication"
Explanation: "Making worldwide communication possible" is a bit verbose and informal. "Facilitating global communication" is more concise and maintains a formal tone.
"Machines and computers can operate tirelessly" -> "Machines and computers can operate continuously"
Explanation: "Tirelessly" implies that machines do not get tired, which is incorrect. "Continuously" accurately describes the uninterrupted operation of machines.
"hardly make any errors" -> "rarely make errors"
Explanation: "Hardly" is less formal and can be misinterpreted. "Rarely" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"by utilizing the reliability advantage of technology" -> "by leveraging the reliability of technology"
Explanation: "Utilizing the reliability advantage" is awkward and unclear. "Leveraging the reliability of technology" is more natural and precise.
"accountants can now apply Excel integrated formulas" -> "accountants can now utilize Excel’s integrated formulas"
Explanation: "Apply" is somewhat informal and vague in this context. "Utilize" is more formal and precise, and specifying "Excel’s" clarifies the source of the formulas.
"a key factor leading to a high quality life" -> "a crucial factor contributing to a high-quality life"
Explanation: "High quality life" is grammatically incorrect. "High-quality life" is the correct form, and "crucial" is more formal than "key."
"people can communicate wirelessly" -> "individuals can communicate wirelessly"
Explanation: "People" is somewhat informal for academic writing; "individuals" is more formal and suitable.
"almost impossible a few decades back" -> "virtually impossible a few decades ago"
Explanation: "Almost impossible" is less formal and slightly vague. "Virtually impossible" is more precise and formal, and "ago" is the correct form for referring to past time.
"This great capability has bonded and created quality time" -> "This capability has facilitated bonding and created quality time"
Explanation: "Bonded" is an awkward and informal verb choice. "Facilitated" is more appropriate and formal, and the phrase is grammatically corrected.
"working much simpler and more enjoyable" -> "working significantly simpler and more enjoyable"
Explanation: "Much" is informal and imprecise. "Significantly" provides a quantifiable degree of change, enhancing the academic tone.
"working flexibly within the convenience of their home environment" -> "working flexibly from the convenience of their home environments"
Explanation: "Within" is less precise in this context. "From" is more appropriate for describing the location of work, and "environments" should be plural to match the plural subject "people."

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a disagreement with the notion that life should be simplified without technology. The writer presents a strong position from the outset and supports it with relevant arguments regarding the benefits of technology in enhancing productivity and communication. The introduction succinctly outlines the writer’s stance, and the body paragraphs provide concrete examples that reinforce this position.
- How to improve: While the essay successfully answers the prompt, it could benefit from a brief acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint. This would not only demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic but also strengthen the argument by contrasting it with the counterargument. Including a sentence or two that recognizes the complexity of technology’s impact on life could enhance the depth of the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, with the writer firmly disagreeing with the idea that life should be simplified by abandoning technology. The use of phrases like "I strongly disagree" establishes a strong stance, and this is consistently supported by the subsequent arguments. Each paragraph reinforces the main thesis without deviating from the central idea.
- How to improve: To further solidify the clarity of the position, the writer could reiterate the main argument in the conclusion with a more emphatic statement. This would serve to remind the reader of the essay’s core message and provide a stronger closure.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-structured ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of how technology simplifies life. The examples provided, such as the use of Excel for accounting and the benefits of modern communication tools, effectively illustrate the points made. The arguments are logically extended, showing the direct impact of technology on productivity and communication.
- How to improve: While the examples are strong, the essay could be enhanced by incorporating more varied types of evidence, such as statistical data or expert opinions, to further substantiate the claims. Additionally, providing a counterexample of a situation where technology complicates life could enrich the discussion and demonstrate critical thinking.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently addressing the prompt without straying into unrelated areas. Each point made directly relates to the central argument of technology simplifying life, and the writer avoids introducing irrelevant information.
- How to improve: To maintain this focus while also enhancing the essay, the writer could ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates back to the thesis. This would not only reinforce the relevance of each point but also improve the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, this essay achieves a high band score due to its clear position, well-supported arguments, and focused discussion on the topic. To reach an even higher level, the writer could consider acknowledging opposing views, incorporating diverse evidence, and reinforcing the main argument in the conclusion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, presenting a clear argument against the notion that technology complicates life. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, with the first paragraph focusing on work efficiency and the second on communication. The use of transitional phrases like "First and foremost" and "Second" helps guide the reader through the argument. However, while the ideas are logically sequenced, the conclusion could benefit from a stronger reiteration of the main points to reinforce the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider adding a brief summary of the key points in the conclusion, explicitly linking them back to the thesis. This would not only reinforce the argument but also provide a more cohesive ending to the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses work efficiency, while the second addresses communication. This clear paragraphing aids in readability and helps the reader follow the argument. However, the introduction could be more distinct from the body paragraphs by providing a clearer outline of the points that will be discussed.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider refining the introduction to include a brief overview of the main points that will be discussed in the body. This could be done by adding a sentence that outlines the two main arguments (work efficiency and communication) before delving into the details. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "therefore," "for instance," and "with the introduction of," which effectively link ideas and examples. These devices help create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. However, the essay could benefit from a broader range of cohesive devices to enhance the sophistication of the writing. For example, the use of contrasting conjunctions or phrases could help to highlight the differences between life with and without technology more effectively.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a mix of conjunctions, such as "however," "on the other hand," and "in contrast," to emphasize differing viewpoints or counterarguments. Additionally, using phrases like "in addition" or "furthermore" can help to introduce new points or expand on existing ones, making the argument more nuanced and engaging.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing terms such as "instrument," "sophisticated," "enhanced," "efficiency," "algorithms," and "geographical location." These choices reflect a strong ability to convey complex ideas clearly. The use of phrases like "reliability advantage" and "quality time" further showcases the writer’s capability to articulate nuanced arguments effectively.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource even further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "simplify," alternatives like "streamline" or "facilitate" could be employed. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions or collocations related to technology and communication could enrich the essay’s vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with a high degree of precision. Terms such as "technological advancements" and "human productivity" are appropriately applied, enhancing the clarity of the arguments. However, the phrase "sophisticated life" could be perceived as slightly vague; it may benefit from further elaboration to clarify what aspects of life are considered sophisticated.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that all terms are contextually appropriate and clearly defined. For example, instead of saying "sophisticated life," the writer could specify what makes life sophisticated—perhaps referring to complexity in daily tasks or the demands of modern living. This would help to avoid ambiguity and strengthen the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the use of vocabulary. Words like "communication," "productivity," and "algorithms" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice proofreading their work to catch any potential typographical errors that may occur under time constraints. Engaging in regular spelling exercises or utilizing tools like spell checkers can further enhance spelling accuracy, especially for more complex or less frequently used vocabulary.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, ensuring precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further enhance their performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "machines and computers can operate tirelessly and hardly make any errors since they are instructed by logical algorithms and scientific equations." This showcases the writer’s ability to convey intricate ideas effectively. Additionally, the use of transitional phrases like "first and foremost" and "in summary" helps in organizing the essay logically, enhancing the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although technology has its drawbacks, it undeniably simplifies many aspects of life") or using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Never before has communication been so effortless") could add depth and interest to the writing. Moreover, integrating rhetorical questions or conditional sentences could engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "which often takes days to complete and is error-prone" is grammatically correct, but the use of "which" could be improved for clarity by specifying the antecedent more explicitly. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there are instances where additional commas could improve clarity, such as before "which was almost impossible a few decades back" to set off the non-restrictive clause.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence clarity by ensuring that all clauses are clearly linked to their antecedents. Practicing the use of punctuation in complex sentences, especially with non-restrictive clauses, can also help. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, will further solidify the writer’s grammatical foundation. Engaging in exercises that focus on punctuation rules and complex sentence construction could be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By incorporating these suggestions, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency in their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

First and foremost, technological advancements have significantly enhanced human work efficiency. Machines and computers can operate tirelessly and rarely make errors since they are instructed by logical algorithms and scientific equations. Therefore, by leveraging the reliability of technology, humans can work much faster and have more free time to relax and enjoy life. For instance, accountants can now utilize Excel’s integrated formulas to create automatic spreadsheets for their financial reports within seconds instead of manually calculating each metric using a handheld calculator, which often takes days to complete and is error-prone.

Second, technology has simplified human communication, a crucial factor contributing to a high-quality life. With the introduction of Wi-Fi and mobile devices, people can communicate wirelessly regardless of geographical location, which was virtually impossible a few decades ago when sending letters was the only mode of long-range communication. This capability has facilitated bonding and created quality time for countless families with children studying abroad or parents on overseas assignments. Emails and video conferencing have also made working significantly simpler and more enjoyable since people can work flexibly from the convenience of their home environments while still effectively updating work progress and sharing ideas with their colleagues on virtual platforms like Zoom or Microsoft Teams.

In summary, life has become simpler thanks to the great conveniences in work and communication that only technology can provide.