Some people think that all university students should study what they like. others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The choice of subjects in university education has sparked a debate about whether students should have the freedom to choose what they are passionate about or be restricted to courses are deemed useful for future careers. While some argue that allowing students to choose freely nurtures creativity and motivation, others believe that focusing on practical fields such as science and technology better prepares them for the workforce. In my opinion, a balanced approach that values both personal interest and societal need is the most beneficial.

On the one hand, letting university students choose subjects they enjoy can significantly enhance their learning experience. When they passionate about what they study, they are more likely to engage deeply and excel academically. For example, someone who is interested in art history might dedicate long hours to research, resulting in greater expertise and personal fulfillment. Moreover, allowing students to follow their interest promote creativity which is essential in many industries beyond science and technology. A student who studies literature, for instance, might develop strong analytical and communication skills that is valuable in a wide range professions.

On the other hand, focusing solely on subjects that are directly linked to future careers, particularly in science and technology, can offer clear advantages. Careers in fields like engineering, information technology, and healthcare are in high demand, and students who specialize in these areas often have better job prospects. For example, countries with a strong focus on technological advancement, such as South Korea or Germany, have seen significant economic growth and lower unemployment rates among graduates in STEM fields. Additionally, prioritizing these subjects can ensure that societies have the skills needed to tackle pressing global challenges, such as climate change and healthcare crises.

In conclusion, while studying subjects of personal interest can foster creativity and motivation, focusing on practical subjects like science and technology prepares students for the demands of the future job market. I believe that the most effective approach is a combination of both, allowing students to pursue their passions while also ensuring they acquire skills that will be valuable in the workforce.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"has sparked a debate" -> "has generated a debate"
Explanation: "Generated" is a more precise term in academic writing, suggesting the origin of the debate rather than the more colloquial "sparked."
"are deemed useful" -> "are considered useful"
Explanation: "Considered" is more formal and academically appropriate than "deemed," which can sometimes sound overly formal or vague.
"nurtures creativity and motivation" -> "fosters creativity and motivation"
Explanation: "Fosters" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating the development or encouragement of creativity and motivation.
"focusing on practical fields" -> "concentrating on practical fields"
Explanation: "Concentrating" is more specific and formal than "focusing," which is somewhat vague and less precise in academic contexts.
"better prepares them" -> "better prepares them for"
Explanation: Adding "for" clarifies the purpose of preparation, enhancing the sentence’s clarity and formality.
"When they passionate about" -> "When they are passionate about"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error by adding the necessary article "are" to maintain grammatical correctness.
"someone who is interested in art history" -> "an individual interested in art history"
Explanation: "An individual" is more formal and precise than "someone," which is too informal for academic writing.
"might dedicate long hours to research" -> "may dedicate extensive hours to research"
Explanation: "May" is more formal than "might," and "extensive" is more precise than "long," which is vague.
"allowing students to follow their interest promote creativity" -> "allowing students to pursue their interests promotes creativity"
Explanation: "Pursue" is more specific than "follow," and "interests" should be plural to match the context of multiple subjects.
"which is essential in many industries beyond science and technology" -> "which is crucial in numerous industries beyond science and technology"
Explanation: "Crucial" is more formal than "essential," and "numerous" is more precise than "many."
"strong analytical and communication skills that is valuable" -> "strong analytical and communication skills that are valuable"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error by changing "that is" to "that are" to agree with the plural subject "skills."
"focusing solely on subjects that are directly linked to future careers" -> "focusing exclusively on subjects directly linked to future careers"
Explanation: "Exclusively" is more formal and precise than "solely," and removing "that are" improves the flow of the sentence.
"can offer clear advantages" -> "can provide significant advantages"
Explanation: "Provide" is more formal and specific than "offer," and "significant" is more precise than "clear."
"prioritizing these subjects can ensure that societies have the skills needed" -> "prioritizing these subjects ensures that societies possess the necessary skills"
Explanation: "Ensures" is more direct and formal than "can ensure," and "possess" is more precise than "have" in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding university students’ subject choices. The first paragraph introduces the debate, while the body paragraphs discuss the merits of both personal interest and practical subjects. The conclusion reiterates the importance of both perspectives, which aligns well with the prompt’s requirement to discuss both views and provide a personal opinion. However, the essay could have included more specific examples or evidence to further substantiate the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could incorporate additional examples or statistics that illustrate the benefits of studying subjects of personal interest and the practical advantages of STEM fields. This would provide a more comprehensive exploration of both sides of the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that advocates for a balanced approach, which is articulated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. The use of phrases like "in my opinion" helps clarify the author’s stance. However, there are moments where the transition between discussing the two perspectives could be smoother, as the essay sometimes shifts abruptly between points.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases to better connect the discussion of the two viewpoints. For instance, phrases like "On the other hand" could be followed by a brief recap of the previous point to reinforce the contrast and maintain a cohesive flow.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of the benefits of studying subjects of personal interest, such as creativity and motivation. The example of a student studying art history effectively illustrates the point. However, the support for the argument favoring practical subjects could be more robust; while it mentions job prospects and economic growth, it lacks specific examples of how these subjects directly benefit students.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could include more detailed examples or case studies demonstrating the success of graduates in practical fields. This could involve mentioning specific companies or industries that have benefited from graduates’ skills or citing studies that show the correlation between field of study and employment rates.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing the two perspectives and the author’s opinion without deviating into unrelated areas. The arguments are relevant and contribute to the overall discussion. However, there are minor instances where the language could be more precise, such as the phrase "subjects that are deemed useful," which could be interpreted as vague.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all language used is specific and directly related to the topic. Avoiding vague terms and instead opting for precise language will enhance clarity and keep the discussion tightly aligned with the prompt.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively addresses the prompt. By incorporating more specific examples, improving transitions, and ensuring precise language, the writer could further enhance the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization, beginning with an introduction that outlines the debate and presents the writer’s opinion. Each paragraph effectively addresses one side of the argument, with the first paragraph discussing the benefits of studying subjects of personal interest and the second focusing on the advantages of practical subjects. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s stance. For example, the transition from discussing personal interest to practical subjects is smooth and maintains the reader’s understanding of the argument’s progression.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between paragraphs. For instance, a phrase like "Conversely" at the beginning of the second body paragraph could further clarify the shift in focus. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea would strengthen the overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, and the body paragraphs are structured to present contrasting views. However, the second body paragraph could be further improved by ensuring that each point is clearly delineated and supported by specific examples, which would enhance readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each body paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the point. For example, in the second body paragraph, separating the discussion of job prospects and societal needs into two distinct sentences could provide clearer focus and enhance the overall effectiveness of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "For example," and "Moreover," which help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. This use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall clarity of the essay. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "On the other hand" is repeated, which can detract from the essay’s overall cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. Instead of repeating "On the other hand," you might use "In contrast" or "Conversely" to introduce the opposing viewpoint. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "Furthermore" or "In addition to this," could enhance the sophistication of the writing and improve the overall flow.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, further solidifying its effectiveness in conveying the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "nurtures," "motivation," "engage deeply," and "analytical skills." These words effectively convey the writer’s ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, there are instances where more varied synonyms could enhance the richness of the language. For example, the phrase "subjects that are directly linked to future careers" could be replaced with "fields that are closely aligned with future employment opportunities" for greater variety.
- How to improve: To elevate the vocabulary further, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms for commonly used words. Engaging with vocabulary exercises or reading a variety of texts can help in identifying alternative expressions that can be used in similar contexts.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are a few instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "courses are deemed useful" should be corrected to "courses that are deemed useful." Additionally, "which is essential in many industries beyond science and technology" could be more precisely stated as "which is essential across various industries, including but not limited to science and technology."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure that modifiers are correctly placed. Reading sentences aloud can help identify awkward phrasing or grammatical errors. Additionally, practicing writing with a focus on clarity and conciseness can aid in honing this skill.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the majority of the text. However, there is a minor error in the phrase "letting university students choose subjects they enjoy can significantly enhance their learning experience," where "letting" could be more formally expressed as "allowing." While this is not a spelling error per se, it reflects a need for more formal language in academic writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay multiple times can help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can be beneficial for ongoing improvement.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in variety, precision, and formal language usage. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "While some argue that allowing students to choose freely nurtures creativity and motivation" and "A student who studies literature, for instance, might develop strong analytical and communication skills that is valuable in a wide range professions" showcase the use of subordinate clauses and relative clauses effectively. However, there are instances of less varied sentence beginnings, such as the repeated use of "Moreover" and "For example," which can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the introductory phrases and using different transition words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Moreover," alternatives like "Additionally," "Furthermore," or "In addition" can be employed. Additionally, incorporating more complex structures, such as conditional sentences or participial phrases, could further enrich the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "courses are deemed useful" should read "courses that are deemed useful" to maintain clarity. Additionally, "which is essential in many industries beyond science and technology" lacks a comma before "which," which is necessary for proper punctuation. The use of "is valuable in a wide range professions" should be corrected to "in a wide range of professions" to ensure grammatical correctness.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, particularly with articles and prepositions. Practicing sentence diagramming can help identify structural issues. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially concerning clauses and phrases, will enhance clarity and coherence in writing. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises focusing on common pitfalls can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With attention to diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision, the essay could achieve an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The choice of subjects in university education has generated a debate about whether students should have the freedom to study what they are passionate about or be restricted to courses that are considered useful for future careers. While some argue that allowing students to choose freely fosters creativity and motivation, others believe that concentrating on practical fields such as science and technology better prepares them for the workforce. In my opinion, a balanced approach that values both personal interest and societal need is the most beneficial.

On the one hand, letting university students choose subjects they enjoy can significantly enhance their learning experience. When they are passionate about what they study, they are more likely to engage deeply and excel academically. For example, an individual interested in art history may dedicate extensive hours to research, resulting in greater expertise and personal fulfillment. Moreover, allowing students to pursue their interests promotes creativity, which is crucial in numerous industries beyond science and technology. A student who studies literature, for instance, might develop strong analytical and communication skills that are valuable in a wide range of professions.

On the other hand, focusing exclusively on subjects directly linked to future careers, particularly in science and technology, can provide significant advantages. Careers in fields like engineering, information technology, and healthcare are in high demand, and students who specialize in these areas often have better job prospects. For example, countries with a strong focus on technological advancement, such as South Korea or Germany, have seen significant economic growth and lower unemployment rates among graduates in STEM fields. Additionally, prioritizing these subjects ensures that societies possess the necessary skills to tackle pressing global challenges, such as climate change and healthcare crises.

In conclusion, while studying subjects of personal interest can foster creativity and motivation, focusing on practical subjects like science and technology better prepares students for the demands of the future job market. I believe that the most effective approach is a combination of both, allowing students to pursue their passions while also ensuring they acquire skills that will be valuable in the workforce.