Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future , such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, science and technology are developed and updated consecutively. Some people think that all university students should pursue their passions. Others suppose that they had better study potential sectors which is beneficial in the future. Both views are valid, on the contrary I prefer major contentment. The controversy in favor of prioritizing a useful major over satisfaction is quite baseless. In the individual life, a steady major can provide a bright and hopeful future, resulting in reduced anxiety about employment stability. Moreover, that can enhance their relive about life after graduating. While a major that brings fulfillment but lacks security, such as music, singing may give off an impression of an uncertain future. Many people change occupations regularly due to feeling bored and unmotivated when working. However, I would still advocate that subject satisfaction should take precedence over subject security. Firstly, a satisfaction major makes students invest more time and effort in it. There are still some realms that either content or provide a steady future to some people like design, drawing, languages, create, . . . Such as architecture, English language, and content creator, . . . For instance, in Viet Nam, a developing country, English is still the hottest language. More and more individuals open English centers or become English teachers to get a high salary. Furthermore, if we are talented and put in the effort adequately, success will come.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"science and technology are developed and updated consecutively" -> "science and technology are continuously developed and updated"
Explanation: The phrase "consecutively" incorrectly implies a sequential process, whereas "continuously" more accurately conveys the ongoing nature of scientific and technological advancements.
"Some people think that all university students should pursue their passions." -> "Some individuals believe that all university students should pursue their passions."
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" enhances the formality of the language, and adding "believe" instead of "think" aligns better with academic tone.
"Others suppose that they had better study potential sectors which is beneficial in the future." -> "Others argue that they should focus on sectors with potential benefits in the future."
Explanation: "Suppose" is too informal and vague; "argue" is more precise and formal. Also, "had better" is informal and incorrect in this context; "should focus on" is more appropriate.
"major contentment" -> "major satisfaction"
Explanation: "Major contentment" is unclear and awkward; "major satisfaction" is the correct term and is more specific in the context of academic choices.
"a steady major can provide a bright and hopeful future" -> "a stable major can offer a promising future"
Explanation: "Steady" is less precise than "stable," and "bright and hopeful" is overly emotional; "promising" is more academically neutral.
"enhance their relive about life" -> "enhance their outlook on life"
Explanation: "Relive" is incorrect; "outlook" is the correct term for describing one’s perspective on life.
"a major that brings fulfillment but lacks security" -> "a major that offers fulfillment but lacks security"
Explanation: "Brings" is less formal; "offers" is more suitable for academic writing.
"singing may give off an impression of an uncertain future" -> "singing may convey an uncertain future"
Explanation: "Give off an impression" is verbose and informal; "convey" is more direct and formal.
"Many people change occupations regularly due to feeling bored and unmotivated when working." -> "Many individuals frequently change occupations due to feelings of boredom and lack of motivation."
Explanation: "Feeling" is informal; "feelings" is more appropriate. Also, "lack of motivation" is more precise than "unmotivated."
"a satisfaction major" -> "a satisfying major"
Explanation: "Satisfaction" is not a noun form; "satisfying" is the correct adjective form needed here.
"There are still some realms that either content or provide a steady future to some people like design, drawing, languages, create,…" -> "There are still some fields that either provide contentment or offer a stable future to individuals in areas such as design, drawing, languages, and content creation."
Explanation: "Realms" is vague and incorrect; "fields" is more specific. Also, "create" should be "content creation" for clarity and formality.
"English is still the hottest language" -> "English remains the most in-demand language"
Explanation: "Hottest" is informal and imprecise; "most in-demand" is more formal and accurate in describing the popularity of languages.
"More and more individuals open English centers or become English teachers to get a high salary." -> "Increasingly, individuals are opening English centers or becoming English teachers to secure higher salaries."
Explanation: "More and more" is informal; "increasingly" is more formal. Also, "get a high salary" is informal; "secure higher salaries" is more precise and formal.
"if we are talented and put in the effort adequately, success will come" -> "if we are talented and make adequate efforts, success will likely follow"
Explanation: "Put in the effort adequately" is awkward and informal; "make adequate efforts" is more natural and formal. Also, "will come" is too simplistic; "will likely follow" is more cautious and academically appropriate.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, acknowledging that some advocate for studying what one likes while others argue for focusing on practical subjects like science and technology. However, the treatment of both views is superficial, lacking depth in analysis. The essay fails to explore how studying only practical subjects might affect students’ personal satisfaction, which is an important aspect of the prompt.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should delve deeper into the implications of both perspectives. Provide specific examples or scenarios that illustrate the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach. This will demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the prompt and enhance the overall argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a preference for prioritizing subject satisfaction over practicality but struggles to maintain a clear stance throughout. The argument shifts between the two perspectives without effectively integrating them into a coherent argumentative structure.
- How to improve: It would be beneficial to clearly establish the writer’s position early on and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay. Use topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through the argument, ensuring that each paragraph contributes directly to supporting the established viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack development and coherence. For instance, arguments about the benefits of practical majors versus satisfaction are mentioned briefly but not expanded upon with sufficient examples or reasoning. The examples provided (architecture, English language, content creation) are mentioned without clear elaboration on their relevance to the argument.
- How to improve: Focus on developing each idea more thoroughly. Provide specific examples or case studies to illustrate how pursuing different types of majors can impact future career prospects and personal fulfillment. Connect these examples directly to the main argument about the balance between satisfaction and practicality.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally veers off topic, especially towards the end where examples about English language teaching in Vietnam are introduced. While potentially relevant, these examples are not effectively integrated into the broader argument and distract from the main discussion.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central theme of whether university students should study what they like or focus on practical subjects. Avoid introducing tangential ideas that do not contribute to developing the core argument.

In conclusion, while the essay attempts to address the prompt, it falls short in providing a comprehensive analysis and maintaining focus throughout. By strengthening the depth of analysis, coherence of arguments, and relevance of examples, the essay could significantly improve its clarity and effectiveness in addressing the given topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of logical organization. It opens with a clear introduction that introduces the topic and positions the writer’s opinion, though the thesis statement could be more precise. The body paragraphs present contrasting views effectively but could benefit from clearer topic sentences to enhance coherence. Transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt in places, affecting the overall flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider refining the thesis statement to clearly outline the essay’s direction. Ensure each body paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that previews the main point. Use transitional phrases (e.g., "On the contrary," "Moreover," "Furthermore") more consistently to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to separate different aspects of the argument. However, paragraph structure could be strengthened. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear segmentation, leading to potential confusion for the reader. Additionally, the conclusion paragraph feels abrupt and could be expanded to summarize key points more effectively.
- How to improve: Focus on maintaining a clear topic for each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that directly supports the thesis. Use cohesive devices within paragraphs (such as pronouns, repetition of keywords) to reinforce coherence. Extend the conclusion to include a brief summary of the main arguments discussed.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices. There is some use of linking words and phrases (e.g., "however," "for instance," "moreover"), but their application is inconsistent. Pronouns and other cohesive devices that refer back to previously mentioned ideas are used sparingly, affecting the clarity of connections between sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. Incorporate more pronouns (e.g., "this," "these") and synonyms to refer back to key concepts and maintain coherence. Expand the use of transitional phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help in guiding the reader through the logical progression of ideas more effectively.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, there is room for improvement in each checklist item to achieve a higher band score. Strengthening logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will enhance the clarity and coherence of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, such as "consecutively," "baseless," "steadfast," "fulfillment," "realms," and "adequately." However, some expressions lack precision or are awkwardly used, like "enhance their relive about life" and "either content or provide a steady future to some people."
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, focus on using more precise and appropriate synonyms. For instance, instead of "enhance their relive about life," consider "improve their outlook on life." Avoid awkward phrases and ensure that new vocabulary is used accurately in context.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Vocabulary usage is generally adequate but lacks precision in some instances. For example, "enhance their relive about life" could be clearer and more precise. On the other hand, terms like "consecutively" and "baseless" are used appropriately to convey specific meanings.
- How to improve: Aim for more exact and nuanced vocabulary choices that precisely convey your intended meaning. Be mindful of context and ensure that each word enhances clarity and adds depth to your argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with only minor errors observed ("relive" instead of "relief"). However, overall spelling does not significantly detract from comprehension.
- How to improve: Continue to proofread carefully to catch minor spelling errors. Consider using spelling check tools and reviewing commonly misspelled words to improve accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and generally correct spelling, there is room for improvement in precision and clarity of vocabulary usage. Focus on using more precise synonyms, avoiding awkward expressions, and ensuring consistent attention to spelling accuracy to enhance the overall lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. There are examples of conditional sentences ("if we are talented"), relative clauses ("which lacks security"), and contrastive structures ("On the contrary"). These structures contribute to coherence and clarity in conveying ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures consistently throughout the essay. For instance, introducing more complex compound sentences with coordinating conjunctions like "and" or "but" can help connect ideas more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy with minor errors. For example, there are instances of incorrect verb tense usage ("enhance their relive" instead of "relieve"), subject-verb agreement issues ("science and technology are developed"), and missing articles ("a satisfaction major"). Punctuation is generally used correctly, but there are occasional mistakes in comma placement and sentence boundary punctuation.
- How to improve: Focus on reviewing verb tense consistency throughout the essay, ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects in number and person. Also, pay attention to using articles (‘a’, ‘an’, ‘the’) appropriately to improve clarity and precision in expressing ideas. Practicing punctuation rules, particularly for commas and their usage in separating clauses and items in a series, will further enhance the essay’s readability.

Overall, the essay demonstrates competent control over grammatical structures and punctuation, with room for refinement in verb tense consistency, article usage, and punctuation accuracy. Strengthening these areas will contribute to a more polished and cohesive presentation of ideas in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, science and technology are continuously developed and updated. Some individuals believe that all university students should pursue their passions, while others argue that they should focus on sectors with potential benefits in the future. Both views have their merits, but I advocate for prioritizing personal fulfillment.

The argument favoring practical majors for their future benefits lacks strong foundation. A stable major can offer a promising future, reducing concerns about job security and enhancing outlook on life after graduation. Conversely, a major that offers fulfillment but lacks security, such as music or singing, may convey an uncertain future. Many individuals frequently change occupations due to feelings of boredom and lack of motivation.

However, I firmly believe that pursuing a satisfying major should be paramount. Firstly, when students engage deeply with subjects they enjoy, they tend to invest more time and effort. There are still some fields that either provide contentment or offer a stable future to individuals, such as design, drawing, languages, and content creation. For example, in many developing countries like Vietnam, proficiency in English remains highly sought after. Consequently, there is a growing trend of opening English centers or pursuing careers as English teachers for better financial prospects.

Moreover, if students are talented and committed to their interests, success is likely to follow. It is essential to encourage students to follow their passions, as this not only fosters personal happiness but also contributes to a more fulfilling career trajectory.

In conclusion, while practical considerations have their place, prioritizing personal satisfaction in choosing a university major can lead to greater personal fulfillment and long-term success.