Some people think that apartments are the best type of accommodation. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some individuals argue that living in high-sky scraper may potentially be the optimal type of accommodation. I totally agree with this viewpoint due to the convenience that apartment offers and affordable price.

Living in towers provide the common facility included in the contrast and mitigating living expense of residents. An apartment demands to attract residents must create an appealing environment, sufficient facility and modern. For instance, swimming pools, gymnastics area or yoga room are type of an apartment’s standard to qualify itself, therefore, all residents can utilize these facilities without extra charged. Appartments such a community for residents interaction and commercial, resulting in providing an excellent relationship between dwellers. For example, festivals often created by apartment host to celebrate a particular occasion in a country or they have a chat box where all of the residents invited and know each other. Moreover, security in apartments is strict, resulting in completely safe for residents. One way to explain this is that these day modern apartments are associated with technology card which is need for entry and exit apartment areas.

On the same area of land, the construction of apartment could yield a significant number of housing units compared to what can be obtained if private houses are built, making apartments are extremely affordable. For instance, in Hongkong 100% number of land were created by apartment to encounter excessively density, and invest in apartment is the optimal way to maximize profits.

In conclusion, it is important that people should choose apartment as their shelter to save money when compared to private house, excellent facility provided and preserve the real estate.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"high-sky scraper" -> "high-rise skyscraper"
Explanation: "high-sky scraper" is an awkward and inaccurate term. "High-rise skyscraper" is a more precise and commonly used phrase in formal contexts, emphasizing tall buildings with multiple floors.
"I totally agree with this viewpoint" -> "I strongly support this perspective"
Explanation: "I totally agree" is too informal for academic writing. "I strongly support" conveys a similar sentiment in a more formal manner, aligning better with academic style.
"provide the common facility included in the contrast" -> "offer common amenities included in the lease"
Explanation: "provide the common facility included in the contrast" is unclear and awkward. "Offer common amenities included in the lease" clarifies the meaning and maintains formality.
"mitigating living expense" -> "reducing living expenses"
Explanation: "mitigating living expense" is an unnatural use of language. "Reducing living expenses" is a clearer and more appropriate phrase for academic writing.
"An apartment demands to attract residents must create an appealing environment" -> "To attract residents, an apartment complex must provide an appealing environment"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The suggested alternative rephrases the sentence for clarity and correctness.
"sufficient facility" -> "adequate facilities"
Explanation: "sufficient facility" lacks clarity and precision. "Adequate facilities" is a clearer and more specific term for describing what an apartment must provide.
"modern" -> "modern amenities"
Explanation: "modern" alone is vague. "Modern amenities" specifies what features are being referred to, enhancing clarity.
"type of an apartment’s standard to qualify itself" -> "standards that an apartment must meet"
Explanation: The original phrase is convoluted and unclear. The suggested alternative simplifies the expression for better comprehension.
"without extra charged" -> "without extra charge"
Explanation: "without extra charged" is grammatically incorrect. "Without extra charge" is the correct form for indicating no additional cost.
"Appartments such a community for residents interaction and commercial" -> "Apartments foster a community for resident interaction and commerce"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks coherence and proper grammar. The suggested alternative clarifies the meaning and improves readability.
"resulting in providing an excellent relationship between dwellers" -> "resulting in fostering strong relationships among residents"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The suggested alternative rephrases it for clarity and coherence.
"festivals often created by apartment host" -> "festivals often hosted by the apartment management"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. The suggested alternative corrects the grammar and specifies who is responsible for hosting the festivals.
"they have a chat box where all of the residents invited and know each other" -> "providing a communal space where all residents are invited to interact and get to know each other"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and lacks clarity. The suggested alternative rephrases it for clarity and coherence, specifying the purpose of the "chat box."
"these day modern apartments" -> "modern-day apartments"
Explanation: "These day modern apartments" is grammatically incorrect. "Modern-day apartments" is the correct phrase to describe contemporary housing.
"associated with technology card which is need for entry and exit apartment areas" -> "equipped with access control technology requiring cards for entry and exit"
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and lacks proper grammar. The suggested alternative clarifies the meaning and improves readability.
"On the same area of land, the construction of apartment could yield a significant number of housing units compared to what can be obtained if private houses are built" -> "Building apartments on the same plot of land can yield a larger number of housing units compared to constructing private houses"
Explanation: The original phrase is convoluted and unclear. The suggested alternative simplifies the expression for better comprehension.
"making apartments are extremely affordable" -> "thus making apartments highly affordable"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. The suggested alternative corrects the grammar and improves readability.
"In conclusion, it is important that people should choose apartment as their shelter" -> "In conclusion, it is imperative that individuals consider apartments as their housing option"
Explanation: The original phrase is wordy and lacks clarity. The suggested alternative provides a more concise and formal conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by expressing agreement with the idea that apartments are the best type of accommodation. It discusses the convenience and affordability of apartments compared to private houses.
- How to improve: While the essay presents arguments supporting apartments as the best accommodation, it lacks depth in addressing the extent of agreement or disagreement. To improve, consider delving deeper into the nuances of the prompt and providing more nuanced analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position in favor of apartments as the best type of accommodation. It consistently argues for the convenience, affordability, and community aspects of apartment living.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph reinforces the central stance and avoids any ambiguity or contradictory statements. Additionally, strengthen transitions between ideas to maintain coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the convenience, affordability, and community aspects of apartment living. It provides examples such as shared facilities, community events, and security measures to support its arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance idea development, provide more specific and varied examples to illustrate points effectively. Additionally, ensure that each idea is elaborated upon sufficiently to strengthen the argument’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the advantages of apartments over private houses in terms of convenience, affordability, and community aspects.
- How to improve: While the essay remains largely focused on the benefits of apartments, some points could be more directly relevant to the prompt. To improve, maintain a strong connection between each supporting detail and the central argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively argues for the superiority of apartments as accommodation, it could benefit from deeper analysis, clearer organization, stronger supporting evidence, and tighter relevance to the prompt for further improvement.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that presents the writer’s viewpoint clearly. Each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of why apartments are considered the best type of accommodation, discussing facilities, community interaction, and affordability. However, there are some instances of unclear transitions between ideas, such as the abrupt shift from discussing facilities to community interaction in the first body paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence introducing the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, use transition words or phrases to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, such as "Furthermore" or "In addition to that."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize ideas, but there are issues with paragraph structure and coherence. Each paragraph attempts to address a separate point, but some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, resulting in confusion regarding the main idea. Additionally, the length of paragraphs varies, with some being overly lengthy, while others are brief.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph. Develop this idea with supporting details and examples. Aim for consistency in paragraph length, striving for a balance between providing enough detail and avoiding unnecessary repetition or tangents.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as "for instance" and "in conclusion." However, there is limited variety, and the essay would benefit from the incorporation of a wider range of cohesive devices to improve coherence.
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond simple phrases like "for example" or "in conclusion." Include a variety of transition words and phrases, such as "however," "moreover," "nevertheless," or "on the other hand," to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will help clarify the relationships between ideas and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, including terms like "high-sky scraper," "mitigating," "dwelling," "dwellers," "optimal," "density," "invest," and "real estate." However, there are instances where more varied and nuanced vocabulary could be employed to enhance the lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enrich the vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and specialized terminology where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "apartment," you might vary it with terms like "residence," "dwelling," or "accommodation." Additionally, aim to integrate more sophisticated adjectives and adverbs to convey ideas more vividly and precisely.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally utilizes vocabulary effectively, there are instances where imprecise or awkward word choices detract from clarity and precision. For example, "high-sky scraper" is a non-standard term that may confuse readers, and "strict" in the context of security could be replaced with a more specific descriptor.
- How to improve: Focus on selecting words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Avoid jargon or colloquialisms that might obscure your message. Use a thesaurus or consult reference materials to find more precise alternatives. Additionally, ensure that vocabulary choices align closely with the context to enhance coherence and readability.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "appartments" instead of "apartments," "Hongkong" instead of "Hong Kong," and grammatical errors like "a community for residents interaction" instead of "a community for residents’ interaction." While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they diminish the overall professionalism and accuracy of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-checking tools or proofreading techniques to identify and correct errors before submitting your work. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling conventions and practice writing regularly to reinforce correct spelling habits. Finally, pay attention to grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and coherence in your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair attempt at utilizing various sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and complexity. Many sentences follow a similar pattern, which can make the essay feel repetitive. For example, there is a tendency to begin sentences with "For instance" or "Moreover," limiting the diversity of sentence structures.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity of the essay, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Experiment with different sentence beginnings, such as introductory phrases or clauses, participial phrases, or inversions. Additionally, strive for more complex sentence constructions by incorporating relative clauses, conditional sentences, or parallel structures. Varying sentence length can also add dynamism to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar and punctuation, there are noticeable errors throughout the text. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("Some individuals argue that living in high-sky scraper may potentially be the optimal type of accommodation"), article usage ("An apartment demands to attract residents must create an appealing environment"), and sentence structure ("For instance, in Hongkong 100% number of land were created by apartment to encounter excessively density"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("On the same area of land") and inconsistent capitalization ("Appartments").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on revising sentences for subject-verb agreement and article usage. Pay attention to singular/plural nouns and ensure that articles (a, an, the) are used appropriately. Review the rules for punctuation, including comma usage with introductory phrases and coordinating conjunctions. Proofread the essay carefully to correct capitalization errors and ensure consistency in punctuation usage throughout the text. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors more effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals argue that living in high-rise skyscrapers may potentially be the optimal type of accommodation. I totally agree with this viewpoint due to the convenience that apartments offer and their affordability.

Living in towers provides common facilities included in the contrast and mitigating living expenses of residents. An apartment aiming to attract residents must create an appealing environment with sufficient facilities and modern amenities. For instance, swimming pools, gymnasiums, or yoga rooms are types of standard amenities in apartments, therefore, all residents can utilize these facilities without extra charge. Apartments foster a sense of community for resident interaction and commerce, resulting in excellent relationships between dwellers. For example, festivals are often hosted by apartment complexes to celebrate particular occasions in the country, or they may have a common area where all residents are invited to mingle and get to know each other. Moreover, security in apartments is strict, resulting in complete safety for residents. One way to explain this is that modern apartments are equipped with technology cards needed for entry and exit to apartment areas.

On the same area of land, the construction of apartments could yield a significant number of housing units compared to what can be obtained if private houses are built, making apartments extremely affordable. For instance, in Hong Kong, a large percentage of land is occupied by apartments to accommodate the excessively dense population, and investing in apartments is the optimal way to maximize profits.

In conclusion, it is important for people to consider apartments as their choice of shelter to save money compared to private houses, benefit from excellent facilities, and preserve real estate.