some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that certain old building are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that ancient structures are more valueable maintaining than different ones. In my point of view, this conservancy is extremely nessecary because of the importance of the remainer. This essay will give my own idea about this problem and I absolutely agree with this notion.

The primary basis is the valuation of time-worn establishment. this achitecture has a plenty of benefits for a nation like culture, art and other fields. Historic building not only is a symbol of the past of a country but also has significant advantage for the diversity of the world hertages. Moreover, this structure is the demonstation for how long a country has existed and decorative motifs on it also symbol for the unique cultural features of the nation. If all of these building were destroyed, it would lead to the perdition of a nation because old buildings are one of the most important documents that remind people to remember how a country was formed.

The secondary reason is economic benefits. Old buildings have attracted a number of tourists from in the country and abroad. Well, tourism is one of the most important industries for the development of most countries across the globe and lots of people are interestedn things from the past so ancient structures is the source of income for a nation. Therefore, when the government can exploit this field perfectly, the growth of the nation will be facilitated

In conclusion, since the importance of the ancient achitecture, preservation should proceed when necessary to help the nation keep the own beauty and develop the economy

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"certain old building are" -> "certain old buildings are"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "building" to "buildings" fixes the plural form, ensuring subject-verb agreement and maintaining the formal tone.
"more worth preserving" -> "more worthy of preservation"
Explanation: "Worthy of preservation" is a more formal and precise phrase that aligns better with academic language, enhancing the sophistication of the sentence.
"To what extend" -> "To what extent"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "extend" to "extent" is necessary for grammatical accuracy and professionalism.
"are more valueable maintaining" -> "are more valuable to maintain"
Explanation: "Valueable" is a misspelling of "valuable." Additionally, "are more valuable to maintain" corrects the awkward phrasing and clarifies the meaning.
"this conservancy is extremely nessecary" -> "this conservation is extremely necessary"
Explanation: Correcting "conservancy" to "conservation" and "nessecary" to "necessary" addresses spelling errors and improves the formal tone.
"the remainer" -> "the remainder"
Explanation: "Remainer" is not the correct term; "remainder" is the appropriate word to use in this context, referring to the remaining part or amount.
"this achitecture" -> "this architecture"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "achitecture" to "architecture" ensures accuracy and professionalism.
"a plenty of benefits" -> "numerous benefits"
Explanation: "A plenty of" is an informal expression; "numerous" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"Historic building not only is a symbol" -> "Historic buildings not only serve as a symbol"
Explanation: Changing "building" to "buildings" corrects the plural form, and "serve as a symbol" is a more formal and precise way to express the function of historic structures.
"has significant advantage for the diversity of the world hertages" -> "offers significant advantages for the preservation of world heritage"
Explanation: "Advantage" should be plural to match "buildings," and "world hertages" is corrected to "world heritage," which is the correct term.
"the demonstation for how long a country has existed" -> "a demonstration of how long a country has existed"
Explanation: "The demonstation" is a typographical error; "a demonstration" is the correct term, and the article "the" is unnecessary before "demonstration."
"symbol for the unique cultural features" -> "symbolizing the unique cultural features"
Explanation: "Symbol for" is less formal; "symbolizing" is a more academic and precise verb form.
"If all of these building were destroyed" -> "If all these buildings were destroyed"
Explanation: Correcting "building" to "buildings" maintains consistency in plural form and enhances grammatical accuracy.
"would lead to the perdition of a nation" -> "would lead to the destruction of a nation"
Explanation: "Perdition" is not commonly used in this context; "destruction" is the correct term for the loss or damage of something.
"lots of people are interestedn things from the past" -> "many people are interested in things from the past"
Explanation: Correcting "interestedn" to "interested in" fixes a spelling error and improves the grammatical structure.
"ancient structures is the source of income" -> "ancient structures serve as a source of income"
Explanation: "Is" should be "serve as" to correctly indicate the function of ancient structures as a source of income.
"when the government can exploit this field perfectly" -> "when the government effectively exploits this field"
Explanation: "Can exploit" is less formal; "effectively exploits" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"the growth of the nation will be facilitated" -> "the nation’s growth will be facilitated"
Explanation: Adding "the nation’s" clarifies the possessive form, enhancing the sentence structure and formality.
"since the importance of the ancient achitecture" -> "since the importance of ancient architecture"
Explanation: Correcting "achitecture" to "architecture" fixes a spelling error and maintains consistency in terminology.
"preservation should proceed when necessary" -> "preservation should proceed when necessary"
Explanation: This is a redundant statement, but it is likely intended to emphasize the conditional nature of preservation, which is appropriate in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that certain old buildings are indeed worth preserving. The writer articulates reasons supporting this view, such as cultural significance and economic benefits through tourism. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would enhance the depth of the argument. For instance, mentioning why some might argue against preserving certain buildings would provide a more balanced perspective.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should consider including a brief discussion of the opposing viewpoint. This could involve acknowledging that not all old buildings may hold the same value or that some may require resources better allocated elsewhere. Engaging with counterarguments can strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position of the writer is clear, as they consistently express agreement with the notion that certain old buildings are worth preserving. Phrases like "I absolutely agree with this notion" reinforce this stance. However, the essay lacks a strong reiteration of this position in the conclusion, which could leave the reader uncertain about the writer’s final stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position throughout the essay, the writer should restate their viewpoint in the conclusion more emphatically. A concise summary of the main arguments supporting their position would also help reinforce their stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the cultural significance of old buildings and their economic benefits through tourism. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while the writer mentions that historic buildings attract tourists, they do not provide specific examples or statistics that could substantiate this claim. Additionally, the phrasing is sometimes unclear, which detracts from the overall impact of the arguments.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should include specific examples or data to support their claims. For instance, referencing a famous historic site and its impact on local tourism could strengthen the argument. Additionally, improving clarity in phrasing will enhance the overall readability of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the preservation of old buildings. However, there are instances where the language becomes convoluted, which can distract from the main argument. For example, phrases like "the importance of the remainer" are unclear and do not contribute effectively to the discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all language used is clear and directly related to the topic. Simplifying complex sentences and avoiding vague terms will help keep the reader engaged and ensure that the main points are communicated effectively.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear opinion, there are areas for improvement in addressing counterarguments, reinforcing the position, providing specific examples, and ensuring clarity in language.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of preserving certain old buildings, structured around two main points: cultural significance and economic benefits. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing cultural importance to economic benefits is somewhat abrupt. The introduction outlines the writer’s stance but does not clearly preview the structure of the essay, which could help guide the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using a more explicit thesis statement that outlines the key points to be discussed. Additionally, use transitional phrases (e.g., "Firstly," "Secondly," "In addition") to signal shifts between points and ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphing could be more effective. The first paragraph mixes the introduction and the first main point, which can confuse readers. The second paragraph is focused on economic benefits but lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea. For example, the first paragraph could begin with a sentence like, "The preservation of ancient buildings is crucial due to their cultural significance." This would help to clarify the focus of each paragraph and improve overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "Therefore," which help connect ideas. However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used, and some sentences lack clear connections, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. For instance, the phrase "this structure is the demonstation for how long a country has existed" could benefit from a clearer link to the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "Consequently"). Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which will enhance the overall flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving its overall effectiveness in communicating the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some appropriate terms like "ancient structures," "cultural features," and "economic benefits." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variety, such as the frequent use of "old buildings" and "ancient structures." The phrase "a plenty of benefits" is also somewhat awkward and could be expressed more naturally.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeating "old buildings," alternatives like "historical sites," "heritage structures," or "time-honored edifices" could be used. Additionally, phrases like "numerous advantages" or "a wealth of benefits" would improve fluency and richness.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "valueable" should be "valuable," and "this conservancy is extremely nessecary" is awkward; "conservancy" is not the correct term in this context. The phrase "the remainer" is unclear and seems to be a typographical error. Furthermore, "the demonstation" should be "the demonstration," and "perdition" is a strong term that may not fit the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should carefully choose words that accurately convey their intended meaning. For example, replacing "conservancy" with "preservation" would clarify the intent. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and contextual appropriateness will enhance clarity. Using a thesaurus can help find more suitable words and phrases.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "valueable," "nessecary," "achitecture," "hertages," "demonstation," "interestedn," and "achitecture." These errors detract from the overall quality and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize spell-check tools. Reading extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure. Additionally, the writer should consider proofreading their work carefully or asking someone else to review it for errors before submission.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Some individuals believe that ancient structures are more valuable maintaining than different ones.") and compound sentences ("Old buildings have attracted a number of tourists from in the country and abroad."). However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences follow a similar structure, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear sentence construction, such as "this conservancy is extremely nessecary because of the importance of the remainer."
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences and varying the sentence beginnings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this" or "old buildings," try using introductory clauses or phrases. Additionally, practice combining shorter sentences to create more complex structures, which can help convey ideas more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "building" should be pluralized to "buildings," and "extend" should be corrected to "extent." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "ancient structures is the source of income," which should be "ancient structures are the source of income." Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and incorrect use of commas, detract from the overall clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully. Focus on common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Additionally, practice using punctuation correctly, particularly with commas and periods. Consider utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises can also help reinforce correct usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the writing quality and potentially increase the band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worthy of preservation than others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that ancient structures are more valuable to maintain than different ones. In my view, this conservation is extremely necessary because of the importance of the remainder. This essay will present my perspective on this issue, and I absolutely agree with this notion.

The primary reason is the value of time-worn establishments. This architecture offers numerous benefits for a nation, including contributions to culture, art, and other fields. Historic buildings not only serve as a symbol of a country’s past but also offer significant advantages for the preservation of world heritage. Moreover, these structures demonstrate how long a country has existed, and the decorative motifs on them symbolize the unique cultural features of the nation. If all these buildings were destroyed, it would lead to the destruction of a nation, as old buildings are among the most important documents that remind people of how a country was formed.

The secondary reason is the economic benefits. Old buildings attract numerous tourists from both within the country and abroad. Tourism is one of the most important industries for the development of many countries around the globe, and many people are interested in things from the past. Thus, ancient structures serve as a source of income for a nation. Therefore, when the government effectively exploits this field, the nation’s growth will be facilitated.

In conclusion, since the importance of ancient architecture is undeniable, preservation should proceed when necessary to help the nation maintain its beauty and develop its economy.