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Some people think that increasing the cost of fuels is the best way to solve the world’s environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that increasing the cost of fuels is the best way to solve the world’s environmental problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

It is widely believed that raising the price of fuels is the foremost method of solving environmental degradation. While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I would argue that there are still various initiatives much more advantageous to the environment.

On the other hand, it is understandable why some people believe that increasing the cost of fuels is the best measure to mitigate issues related to the environment, especially air pollution. The key rationale in favor of this idea is that the former would constrain the number of private cars which consume an excessive amount of fossil fuels. Because people still need money to compensate for other crucial expenses such as groceries, healthcare systems, and other daily bases; hence, it is possible for citizens to switch to using public transportation as a replacement. Considering these factors, the belief that an increase in the cost of fuels will diminish environmental issues in densely urban areas seems perfectly justifiable.

On the one hand, I am convinced that while the rise in fuel’s cost is a stopgap method, authorities could adopt other transportation policies as the long term initiatives. A solution worth mentioning is congestion pricing toll on all vehicles visiting the city center is applied in many developed countries such as the US, Australia. It is common to see that a reduction in exhaust fumes is a result of substantially reducing the number of automobiles on the road. Another approach would be governments should use the money raised from the aforementioned charge to subsidize bus or train fares for commuters, and upgrade public transportation infrastructure, as people still travel to work, to school daily. This is arguably an area where increasing the costs of fuels can hardly resolve problems in a comprehensive way.

In conclusion, while there are justifications that the increasing price of fuels will solve pollution problems thoroughly, I would contend that in the future, the other steps would be more effective.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "much more advantageous" -> "more advantageous"
    Explanation: The phrase "much more advantageous" is slightly informal; "more advantageous" maintains a formal tone while conveying the same meaning.

  2. "private cars" -> "personal vehicles"
    Explanation: "Personal vehicles" is a more formal term for cars in this context.

  3. "daily bases" -> "daily needs"
    Explanation: "Daily bases" is an informal phrase, while "daily needs" is a more appropriate term in an academic context.

  4. "congestion pricing toll on all vehicles visiting" -> "congestion pricing toll for all vehicles entering"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is clearer and more precise, avoiding the informal use of "visiting."

  5. "subsidize bus or train fares for commuters" -> "subsidize public transportation fares for commuters"
    Explanation: Adding "public transportation" clarifies the type of fares being subsidized, maintaining a formal tone.

  6. "This is arguably an area where" -> "This is an area where"
    Explanation: Removing "arguably" simplifies the sentence without sacrificing its meaning, making it more direct and formal.

  7. "in the future, the other steps would be more effective" -> "in the future, alternative measures may prove more effective"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and precise, replacing "the other steps" with "alternative measures" for clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses all parts of the question by discussing the opinion on increasing the cost of fuels as a solution to environmental problems. It presents both sides of the argument and gives reasons for the opinion.
    • How to improve: The response is excellent in this regard, and no specific improvement is needed.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout. The writer consistently argues against the idea that increasing the cost of fuels is the best solution and provides reasons for this stance.
    • How to improve: The clarity of position is well-maintained; no specific improvements are needed.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas effectively. It offers detailed reasoning and examples to support the argument against increasing fuel costs and suggests alternative measures.
    • How to improve: The essay excels in presenting, extending, and supporting ideas; no specific improvements are needed.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout and does not deviate from discussing the issue of increasing fuel costs as a solution to environmental problems.
    • How to improve: The essay effectively maintains focus on the topic; no specific improvements are needed.

Overall, this essay is exceptionally well-written and meets all the criteria for a Band Score of 9 in the Task Response category. The response thoroughly addresses the essay prompt, maintains a clear and consistent position, presents and supports ideas effectively, and stays on topic. The writing is clear, well-organized, and provides a strong argument against the proposed solution while suggesting viable alternatives. There are no specific areas that require improvement in this aspect of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 9

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively organizes information in a logical sequence. It begins with an introduction that introduces the topic and the writer’s stance, followed by two body paragraphs presenting contrasting viewpoints. The concluding paragraph summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion.
    • How to improve: There is no significant room for improvement in terms of logical organization. However, the writer should ensure that the body paragraphs maintain the same high level of coherence and cohesion as the introduction and conclusion.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately to structure the content. Each paragraph focuses on a specific idea or aspect of the argument, enhancing readability and coherence.
    • How to improve: The current use of paragraphs is effective. To further improve, the writer should make sure to start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point of that paragraph.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transition words and phrases such as "on the other hand," "because," "considering these factors," and "in conclusion." These devices guide the reader through the argument.
    • How to improve: The essay’s use of cohesive devices is already strong. To enhance it further, the writer could experiment with a wider range of transitional expressions to add variety and depth to the essay’s coherence.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of coherence and cohesion. The logical organization, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices are all strong. To maintain this level, the writer should continue to focus on clear topic sentences and explore more varied transitional expressions to enrich the essay’s overall quality.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, with the writer using various words and phrases effectively throughout the text. For example, the essay employs diverse terminology, such as "environmental degradation," "mitigate issues," "congestion pricing toll," "exhaust fumes," "subsidize," and "comprehensive," which enriches the overall lexical resource.
    • How to improve: The essay excels in this aspect. To further enhance vocabulary use, consider incorporating more domain-specific terminology related to environmental issues or transportation policies, where appropriate. Additionally, be mindful of the context to ensure the vocabulary is used accurately.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, with few instances of imprecise usage. For instance, the phrase "congestion pricing toll" is accurately employed to describe a specific policy. However, there are minor instances where precision could be improved. For example, the term "stopgap method" might be replaced with "temporary solution" for greater clarity.
    • How to improve: Continue using specialized vocabulary when discussing specific concepts, but always consider whether a simpler word or phrase would convey the intended meaning more effectively. Review the essay for any instances where more precise vocabulary could enhance clarity without adding complexity.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no notable spelling errors detracting from the overall quality of writing.
    • How to improve: The essay already demonstrates strong spelling skills. To maintain this level of accuracy, continue proofreading and consider using spell-check tools to catch any inadvertent errors.

Overall, the essay achieves a Lexical Resource band score of 9, reflecting the effective use of a wide range of vocabulary, generally precise vocabulary usage, and excellent spelling accuracy. To further enhance your lexical resource, focus on integrating domain-specific terminology and maintaining precision while ensuring clarity in your writing. Your vocabulary skills are already at a very high level, contributing significantly to the essay’s overall quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It includes complex sentences with multiple clauses, compound sentences, and well-structured introductory and concluding sentences. This variety enhances the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance sentence structure variety, consider occasionally incorporating rhetorical questions, conditional sentences, and more use of appositives for clarity and style. Be cautious not to overcomplicate sentences, ensuring they remain clear and concise.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few noticeable errors. The punctuation is used effectively, with appropriate commas, semicolons, and colons. For example, the proper use of semicolons in, "A solution worth mentioning is congestion pricing toll on all vehicles visiting the city center is applied in many developed countries such as the US, Australia," showcases strong punctuation skills.
    • How to improve: Continue to proofread essays carefully to catch any minor errors. In particular, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that all verb tenses are consistent throughout the essay. Additionally, maintain consistent formatting of punctuation, such as spacing around colons and semicolons.

Overall, this essay exhibits a high level of grammatical range and accuracy. The variety of sentence structures contributes to the essay’s readability and coherence, while the minimal grammatical and punctuation errors demonstrate a strong command of the English language. To maintain this level of performance, continue practicing and refining these skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely believed that raising the price of fuels is the foremost method of solving environmental degradation. While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I would argue that there are still various initiatives much more advantageous to the environment.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some people believe that increasing the cost of fuels is the best measure to mitigate issues related to the environment, especially air pollution. The key rationale in favor of this idea is that the former would constrain the number of private cars that consume an excessive amount of fossil fuels. Because people still need money to compensate for other crucial expenses such as groceries, healthcare systems, and other daily needs; hence, it is possible for citizens to switch to using public transportation as a replacement. Considering these factors, the belief that an increase in the cost of fuels will diminish environmental issues in densely urban areas seems perfectly justifiable.

On the other hand, I am convinced that while the rise in fuel’s cost is a stopgap method, authorities could adopt other transportation policies as long-term initiatives. A solution worth mentioning is congestion pricing toll for all vehicles entering the city center, as applied in many developed countries such as the US and Australia. It is common to see that a reduction in exhaust fumes results from substantially reducing the number of automobiles on the road. Another approach would be for governments to use the money raised from the aforementioned charge to subsidize public transportation fares for commuters and upgrade public transportation infrastructure, as people still travel to work and to school daily. This is an area where increasing the costs of fuels can hardly resolve problems in a comprehensive way.

In conclusion, while there are justifications that the increasing price of fuels will solve pollution problems thoroughly, I would contend that in the future, alternative measures may prove more effective.

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