Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup while others think the opposite. Discuss

While one school of thought holds that hosting grand sporting spectacles such as the world cup is a waste of money, others are of the opinion that a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like world cup is the right thing. This essay will first closely examine both viewpoints before concluding that I agree with the latter.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some people propose that we shouldn't spend a lot of money to organize big sports activities. The primary reason behind this thinking is that it costs a lot of money and if the organization is not successful it will be a waste of the national treasury. If the event does not generate profit, the country will fall into an economic crisis, encounter serious financial problems such as debts that will stagnate economic development due to spending too much money on advertising, upgrading urban aesthetics. Instead, they can use that large amount of money for social needs such as health, environmental issues, and nature.
On the other hand, I side with those who believe that we should spend a large amount of money to stage international sports tournaments like the World Cup because they bring many benefits. Perhaps the foremost reason would be that this activity will attract a large number of domestic and international tourists.
For example, if the event goes well and attracts many fans, the host country will earn a huge amount of money from tourists' expenses such as tickets, food, and hotels. Thanks to this, the country will earn a large amount of money to contribute to the state budget, thereby developing the economy more strongly in the future. Additionally, people will also benefit from this. For example, countries that host such major events will also have to invest in building and developing infrastructure such as streets to enhance urban beauty and attract more tourists. Thanks to that, the people in those countries can benefit.
In conclusion, although organizing major sporting events is quite expensive and can be unsuccessful, it is a waste of the national budget. But it also brings some great benefits such as attracting tourists to earn a large amount of money for the state budget, developing urban infrastructure or contributing to promoting tourism development for the country thanks to stage international sports tournaments.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like world cup" -> "a significant expenditure for countries to host major sporting events such as the FIFA World Cup"
Explanation: The phrase "a waste of money" is somewhat informal and vague. "A significant expenditure" is more precise and formal, and specifying "FIFA World Cup" clarifies the type of event being discussed, enhancing the academic tone.
"I agree with the latter" -> "I concur with the latter viewpoint"
Explanation: "I agree" is somewhat informal and general. "I concur" is more formal and specific, aligning better with academic writing standards.
"we shouldn’t spend a lot of money to organize big sports activities" -> "it is not advisable to allocate substantial funds to organize large-scale sporting events"
Explanation: "We shouldn’t spend a lot of money" is informal and conversational. "It is not advisable to allocate substantial funds" is more formal and precise, suitable for an academic context.
"it costs a lot of money and if the organization is not successful it will be a waste of the national treasury" -> "it incurs significant expenses, and if the event is unsuccessful, it may result in a waste of national resources"
Explanation: "it costs a lot of money" is informal and vague. "it incurs significant expenses" is more precise and formal. Also, "national treasury" is less specific than "national resources," which encompasses a broader range of assets and funds.
"the country will fall into an economic crisis, encounter serious financial problems such as debts" -> "the country may face economic instability, including significant financial burdens such as debt"
Explanation: "fall into an economic crisis" is somewhat dramatic and informal. "face economic instability" is more measured and formal. Also, "serious financial problems such as debts" is redundant; "significant financial burdens such as debt" avoids repetition and enhances clarity.
"spending too much money on advertising, upgrading urban aesthetics" -> "expenditure on advertising and urban beautification"
Explanation: "spending too much money on" is informal and vague. "Expenditure on" is more formal and precise, and "urban beautification" is a more academic term than "upgrading urban aesthetics."
"they can use that large amount of money for social needs" -> "this funding could be allocated to address social needs"
Explanation: "they can use that large amount of money" is informal and imprecise. "this funding could be allocated" is more formal and suggests a deliberate decision-making process, which is more appropriate for an academic context.
"Perhaps the foremost reason would be that this activity will attract a large number of domestic and international tourists" -> "a primary reason is that this event will attract a significant number of domestic and international tourists"
Explanation: "Perhaps the foremost reason would be" is somewhat informal and tentative. "A primary reason is" is more definitive and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"Thanks to this, the country will earn a large amount of money to contribute to the state budget" -> "Consequently, the country will generate substantial revenue for the national budget"
Explanation: "Thanks to this" is informal and conversational. "Consequently" is more formal and appropriate for linking cause and effect in academic writing. "Generate substantial revenue" is more precise than "earn a large amount of money," and "national budget" is more formal than "state budget."
"developing urban infrastructure or contributing to promoting tourism development for the country" -> "enhancing urban infrastructure and contributing to the development of the country’s tourism industry"
Explanation: "developing urban infrastructure or contributing to promoting tourism development" is awkwardly phrased and redundant. "Enhancing urban infrastructure and contributing to the development of the country’s tourism industry" is clearer and more formal, with a more precise focus on the specific area of development.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding the financial implications of hosting large sporting events like the World Cup. The first paragraph outlines the viewpoint that such events are a waste of money, citing potential economic crises and misallocation of funds. The second paragraph presents the opposing view, emphasizing the economic benefits and tourism potential. However, the essay could improve by explicitly stating the reasons for both perspectives in a more balanced manner, as the second viewpoint is more thoroughly developed than the first.
- How to improve: To enhance the coverage of all parts of the question, the writer should ensure that both viewpoints are given equal weight. This could involve adding more specific examples or statistics to support the argument against hosting such events, as well as ensuring that the benefits are not only mentioned but also critically analyzed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that aligns with the belief that hosting large sporting events is beneficial. This is evident in the concluding statement, which reiterates the author’s agreement with the latter viewpoint. However, the transition between discussing the two perspectives could be smoother, and the position could be reinforced more consistently throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, restating the main position in the introduction and conclusion can help reinforce the stance taken. Including a brief summary of the main points supporting the chosen position in the conclusion would also strengthen this aspect.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the benefits of hosting sporting events, such as increased tourism and infrastructure development. However, while these ideas are introduced, they could be extended further with more detailed examples or data. For instance, specific instances of past World Cups or Olympic Games that resulted in economic growth could be cited to provide stronger support.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific statistics or case studies that illustrate the economic impact of previous events. Additionally, exploring counterarguments in more depth could help to create a more nuanced discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the economic implications of hosting large sporting events. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the mention of "spending too much money on advertising" could be elaborated on or removed if it does not directly support the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should regularly refer back to the essay prompt and ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the question. Creating an outline before writing can help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that all points made are relevant to the topic at hand. Additionally, avoiding tangential points that do not contribute to the main argument will help keep the essay concise and focused.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing viewpoints, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each perspective. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the disadvantages of hosting large sporting events to the advantages could be smoother. The phrase "On the other hand" is used, but the connection between the two ideas could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link the two sides of the argument. For example, after discussing the drawbacks, you could introduce the advantages with a phrase like "Conversely, proponents argue that…" This would help the reader understand the relationship between the two viewpoints more clearly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with a clear distinction between the arguments against and in favor of hosting large sporting events. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first body paragraph presents multiple reasons without clear topic sentences or sub-points, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of that paragraph. For instance, the first body paragraph could begin with a sentence like, "Critics of hosting large sporting events argue that the financial risks outweigh the potential benefits." This would provide a clear focus for the paragraph and guide the reader through the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which help to delineate different viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the use of "thanks to" is repeated, which can detract from the overall cohesiveness of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "thanks to," you could use alternatives like "as a result of," "due to," or "this leads to." Additionally, using phrases that indicate contrast, such as "however," "nevertheless," or "despite this," can help clarify the relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced discussion, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the range of cohesive devices would enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases like "grand sporting spectacles," "national treasury," and "international sports tournaments." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with terms like "large amount of money" and "waste of money," which appear multiple times throughout the essay. This repetition limits the lexical variety and richness expected at higher band scores.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "large amount of money," alternatives like "substantial funds," "considerable investment," or "significant financial resources" could be employed. Additionally, using more specific terms related to economics and tourism could elevate the lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys ideas clearly, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "a waste of the national budget" in the conclusion is somewhat vague and could be interpreted differently. The term "stagnate economic development" is also imprecise; it would be clearer to say "hinder economic growth" or "impede economic progress."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately reflect the intended meaning. For example, replacing "waste of the national budget" with "misallocation of public funds" provides a clearer and more formal expression. Additionally, reviewing common collocations in English can help in selecting the most appropriate words for the context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "world cup" (should be "World Cup") and "sports activities" (should be "sporting activities"). These minor errors indicate a lack of attention to detail, which can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with the correct spelling of commonly used terms in the context of sports and economics can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For example, the phrase "If the event does not generate profit, the country will fall into an economic crisis" effectively uses a conditional structure. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures. The use of phrases like "the primary reason behind this thinking is that" and "the foremost reason would be that" indicates an attempt to vary sentence openings, but they could be further diversified to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence types, such as using participial phrases or relative clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the primary reason," you could rephrase to include introductory clauses or use inversion for emphasis. Additionally, integrating more complex structures, such as subordinate clauses, would enrich the essay’s grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like world cup is the right thing" is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity. Additionally, the term "world cup" should be capitalized as "World Cup." There are also instances of missing commas, particularly before conjunctions in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. For example, "the country will earn a large amount of money to contribute to the state budget, thereby developing the economy more strongly in the future" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread for common errors, such as capitalization and punctuation. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences can help clarify relationships between ideas. Furthermore, revisiting the structure of sentences that feel awkward or convoluted can improve overall coherence. Consider breaking longer sentences into shorter ones to avoid confusion and ensure clarity.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

While one school of thought holds that hosting grand sporting spectacles such as the World Cup is a waste of money, others are of the opinion that it is not a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the World Cup. This essay will first closely examine both viewpoints before concluding that I concur with the latter viewpoint.

On the one hand, it is understandable why some people propose that we shouldn’t spend a lot of money to organize big sports activities. The primary reason behind this thinking is that it incurs significant expenses, and if the organization is not successful, it may result in a waste of national resources. If the event does not generate profit, the country may face economic instability, including significant financial burdens such as debt. Instead, they can use that large amount of money to address social needs such as health, environmental issues, and nature.

On the other hand, I side with those who believe that we should spend a large amount of money to stage international sports tournaments like the World Cup because they bring many benefits. Perhaps the foremost reason is that this event will attract a significant number of domestic and international tourists. For example, if the event goes well and attracts many fans, the host country will earn a huge amount of money from tourists’ expenses such as tickets, food, and hotels. Consequently, the country will generate substantial revenue for the national budget, thereby developing the economy more strongly in the future. Additionally, people will also benefit from this. For instance, countries that host such major events will also have to invest in building and developing infrastructure such as streets to enhance urban beauty and attract more tourists. Thanks to this, the people in those countries can benefit.

In conclusion, although organizing major sporting events incurs significant expenses and can be unsuccessful, it is not advisable to allocate substantial funds to organize large-scale sporting events. However, it also brings great benefits such as attracting tourists to earn a large amount of money for the state budget, enhancing urban infrastructure, and contributing to the development of the country’s tourism industry by staging international sports tournaments.