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Some people think that it is important to have a single language as an international official language. Others think that it will make it difficult to identify countries and cause a loss of culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think that it is important to have a single language as an international official language. Others think that it will make it difficult to identify countries and cause a loss of culture. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

There are individuals who argue for the importance of using a single global language as the official international language, while others think that such a move could lead to challenges in distinguishing between countries and lead to the loss of cultural identities. The discussion surrounding the adoption of a single international official language has generated a lot of comments from people. While some advocates support this idea as a means to simplify global communication, others think that this unification of language will lead to erosion of cultural identities. This essay attempts to shed light on both viewpoints before showing my perspective which is in favor of the former.

Granted, a universal language has concerns that might pose challenges about recognizing national differences and preserving cultural diversity. Language is tied to national identity, and the use of mother tongue often serves as a symbol of cultural heritages. For example, a lot of Vietnamese children for some reason have to move to another country to live, leading to them forgetting their mother tongue. Therefore, a single global language would lead to cultural erosion and a loss of local linguistic knowledge.

On the other hand, the use of an official international language would not necessarily mean that universal languages would become extinct. This is mainly because people who speak endangered languages could continue using their native language whenever they want. Evidence can be seen in the case of interactions with friends or family. Furthermore, a single official international language can also bring a sense of globalization, breaking down language barriers and promoting development between different countries. This could potentially promote international cooperation and facilitate trade.

In conclusion,although I understand that why preservations of each national identity and cultural diversity is of great importance, I am the opinion that using a global language would greatly facilitate things.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "individuals" -> "individuals"
    Explanation: The word "individuals" is already appropriate and formal; no change is needed here.

  2. "move to another country to live" -> "relocate to another country"
    Explanation: "Relocate to another country" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea.

  3. "leading to them forgetting their mother tongue" -> "resulting in them losing proficiency in their native language"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase is more formal and specific, conveying the idea more precisely.

  4. "universal languages" -> "endangered languages"
    Explanation: "Endangered languages" is a more accurate term in this context, referring to languages at risk of becoming extinct.

  5. "Evidence can be seen in the case of interactions with friends or family" -> "This is evident in informal interactions with friends and family"
    Explanation: The revised phrase maintains a formal tone while specifying the context in which evidence can be observed.

  6. "I understand that why preservations of each national identity" -> "I recognize the significance of preserving each national identity"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase is more precise and formal, expressing understanding in a more academic tone.

  7. "I am the opinion that" -> "I hold the opinion that"
    Explanation: "I hold the opinion that" is a more formal and conventional way to express one’s viewpoint in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does address all parts of the question. It discusses both views on having a single international official language and gives the writer’s opinion at the end.
    • How to improve: The response is complete in this aspect; no improvement needed.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. They support the idea of having a single global language.
    • How to improve: The clarity and consistency of the writer’s position are good; no improvement needed.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas, extends them with examples like the case of Vietnamese children, and supports these ideas. It provides reasonable arguments for both sides of the debate.
    • How to improve: The essay effectively presents ideas, extends them with examples like the case of Vietnamese children, and supports these ideas. It provides reasonable arguments for both sides of the debate.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of having a single international language. However, there is a slight deviation when discussing using native languages with friends or family, as it doesn’t directly relate to the loss of cultural identity.
    • How to improve: To maintain better focus, ensure that all points directly relate to the topic without digressing. In this case, avoid discussing using native languages with friends and family if it doesn’t directly tie into the cultural identity aspect.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and provides a balanced view of both sides before presenting a clear personal opinion. The writer effectively supports their arguments with examples. To improve further, it’s essential to avoid any minor deviations from the topic and continue to provide specific and relevant examples in support of the arguments.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument and states the author’s position. The body paragraphs are structured logically, with one paragraph discussing the challenges of a single global language and another paragraph presenting counterarguments in favor of it. The essay then concludes by summarizing the author’s stance. However, within the paragraphs, there is room for improvement in terms of maintaining a consistent flow of ideas and providing smoother transitions between sentences.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the author should ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure (introduction, explanation, examples, conclusion) and that ideas are connected logically within paragraphs. Using transitional phrases and words to guide the reader through the essay can also improve coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay makes use of paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas and arguments. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, and this division makes the essay more reader-friendly.
    • How to improve: While the use of paragraphs is generally effective, some paragraphs are quite lengthy. Breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones can make the essay even more structured and easier to follow. Additionally, the author should ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to convey its main point.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices to a reasonable extent. There is evidence of transitional phrases and words such as "Granted," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion," which help in guiding the reader through the argument. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used and making their usage more consistent throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance cohesion, the author should explore a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), reference words (e.g., "the former," "the latter"), and connectors (e.g., "however," "furthermore"). Consistency in their usage will ensure a smoother flow of ideas and arguments.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion, earning it a Band Score of 7. To improve, the author should focus on maintaining logical flow within paragraphs, using smaller and more focused paragraphs, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices for a more polished and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary, including terms like "official international language," "cultural identities," "cultural diversity," "linguistic knowledge," "globalization," "language barriers," and "international cooperation." However, some repetitive phrases like "single global language" and "cultural erosion" could be diversified with synonyms or alternative expressions.

    • How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and varied phrases where appropriate to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "single global language," you can occasionally substitute it with "universal language" or "global lingua franca."

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, there are instances of imprecise word choices. For example, in the sentence "a lot of Vietnamese children for some reason have to move to another country to live," the phrase "for some reason" is vague and imprecise. Additionally, the phrase "Evidence can be seen in the case of interactions with friends or family" lacks specificity.

    • How to improve: To use vocabulary more precisely, be specific and provide concrete examples or reasons to support your arguments. Avoid vague or filler phrases like "for some reason." Instead, explain the factors or circumstances leading to the situation. For instance, you could say, "Many Vietnamese children are compelled to relocate to other countries due to family or economic reasons."

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a reasonable level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where spelling errors occur, such as "preservations" (should be "preservation") and "opinion" (should be "of the opinion"). These minor spelling errors do not significantly impact comprehension but should be corrected for a higher score.

    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread your essay carefully for common spelling mistakes. Additionally, consider using spelling and grammar check tools to catch any overlooked errors. It’s essential to ensure correct spelling throughout the essay to maintain a professional and polished appearance.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary diversity, precision, and spelling accuracy to achieve a higher band score. Keep working on expanding your vocabulary, using precise terminology, and paying attention to spelling details to enhance your overall writing proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences (e.g., "While some advocates support this idea as a means to simplify global communication, others think that this unification of language will lead to erosion of cultural identities"), compound sentences (e.g., "Granted, a universal language has concerns that might pose challenges about recognizing national differences and preserving cultural diversity"), and simple sentences (e.g., "In conclusion, although I understand that why preservation of each national identity and cultural diversity is of great importance, I am of the opinion that using a global language would greatly facilitate things"). These structures enhance the readability and flow of the essay, contributing positively to the overall coherence and cohesion.

    • How to improve: Continue to incorporate a wide range of sentence structures to maintain reader engagement and showcase advanced grammatical skills. Additionally, consider experimenting with more complex structures, such as conditional sentences or rhetorical questions, where appropriate, to further enhance the essay’s sophistication.

  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as:

      1. In the sentence, "This is mainly because people who speak endangered languages could continue using their native language whenever they want," there is a subject-verb agreement error. It should be "whenever they wish" instead of "whenever they want."
      2. In the sentence, "Evidence can be seen in the case of interactions with friends or family," there is a missing article. It should be "Evidence can be seen in the case of interactions with friends or the family."
      3. The phrase, "although I understand that why preservations of each national identity and cultural diversity is of great importance," has a grammatical error. It should be "although I understand why preservation of each national identity and cultural diversity is of great importance."
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, review the essay carefully for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and the correct placement of conjunctions. Proofreading and editing are essential to catch such errors and improve the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or using grammar-checking tools to identify and rectify these issues.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammar and a commendable variety of sentence structures, contributing to its Band Score of 7 for Grammatical Range and Accuracy. However, paying attention to the identified areas for improvement can help further elevate the score and ensure a more polished and error-free piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are individuals who argue for the importance of using a single global language as the official international language, while others think that such a move could lead to challenges in distinguishing between countries and lead to the loss of cultural identities. The discussion surrounding the adoption of a single international official language has generated a lot of comments from people. While some advocates support this idea as a means to simplify global communication, others think that this unification of language will lead to erosion of cultural identities. This essay attempts to shed light on both viewpoints before showing my perspective, which is in favor of the former.

Certainly, a universal language has concerns that might pose challenges in recognizing national differences and preserving cultural diversity. Language is tied to national identity, and the use of mother tongue often serves as a symbol of cultural heritage. For example, many Vietnamese children relocate to another country for various reasons, resulting in them losing proficiency in their native language. This is evident in informal interactions with friends and family. Therefore, a single global language would lead to cultural erosion and a loss of local linguistic knowledge.

On the other hand, the use of an official international language would not necessarily mean that universal languages would become extinct. This is mainly because individuals who speak endangered languages could continue using their native language whenever they want. This can be seen in the case of interactions with friends or family. Furthermore, a single official international language can also bring a sense of globalization, breaking down language barriers and promoting development between different countries. This could potentially promote international cooperation and facilitate trade.

In conclusion, I recognize the significance of preserving each national identity and cultural diversity. However, I hold the opinion that using a global language would greatly facilitate things.

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