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Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women. While gender-specific job distribution may be justifiable in some aspects, there are compelling reasons why gender should not influence occupational choices for both males and females.

The primary reason for this is that males and females are fully capable of doing well in any occupation. Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes, so people need to use intelligence and ingenuity more to complete a job well and both genders are capable of meeting these job demands. Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well. Thus, both males and females have the ability to do any occupation which they are interested in and only when doing the job they really want to do will they work harder and create the best quality results for the job.

Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in society while creating an equal environment for both men and women in choosing careers. In a modern society, when gender is no longer an important factor in determining a person's job, both genders will be treated more fairly and they will have the same opportunity to find a stable job with a high salary, as a result, this trend has erased the gap between women and men in having a suitable career. For instance, women can become talented leaders, excellent scientists, good businesswomen or famous politicians like Marie Curie or Hillary Clinton instead of in the past only men could do these jobs. As a result, men and women are not placed under a certain assumption that men have to work to make money and women can only stay at home to take care of the family, they will have the responsibility to share each other's responsibilities, thereby creating happier families and reduced life pressures in both genders.

In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "there should be divided certain occupations" -> "certain occupations should be categorized"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence enhances clarity and formality by placing the subject ("certain occupations") at the beginning and using a more formal phrase ("categorized") instead of "divided."

  2. "because of the distinct qualities between men and women" -> "due to the distinct qualities inherent in men and women"
    Explanation: This change replaces a casual expression ("because of") with a more formal alternative ("due to") and provides a more precise description of the qualities being referred to.

  3. "gender-specific job distribution" -> "gender-specific occupational distribution"
    Explanation: Substituting "job" with "occupational" contributes to a more formal tone, aligning with academic language conventions.

  4. "jobs nowadays" -> "contemporary occupations"
    Explanation: Replacing "jobs nowadays" with "contemporary occupations" adds sophistication to the language, aligning with an academic style that avoids colloquial expressions.

  5. "they can do it well" -> "they can perform well"
    Explanation: The suggested change introduces a more formal synonym ("perform") to replace the informal "do it well," enhancing the academic tone.

  6. "use intelligence and ingenuity more" -> "rely more on intelligence and ingenuity"
    Explanation: The revision maintains clarity while employing a more formal structure, replacing the casual "use" with "rely" and placing emphasis on intellectual capabilities.

  7. "have the ability to do any occupation" -> "possess the capability to pursue any occupation"
    Explanation: The alteration introduces a more formal and precise phrase ("possess the capability") to convey the idea more academically.

  8. "while creating an equal environment" -> "thereby fostering an equitable environment"
    Explanation: The suggested change enhances formality by replacing "while creating" with "thereby fostering" and introduces a more sophisticated term ("equitable") to describe the environment.

  9. "has erased the gap between women and men" -> "has diminished the disparity between women and men"
    Explanation: The replacement of "erased" with "diminished" and the use of "disparity" instead of "gap" contribute to a more formal and nuanced expression of the idea.

  10. "In a modern society" -> "In contemporary society"
    Explanation: Substituting "modern" with "contemporary" maintains a formal tone and aligns with academic language conventions.

  11. "only men could do these jobs" -> "these roles were exclusively held by men"
    Explanation: The revised phrase uses a more formal expression ("roles were exclusively held") to convey the same idea without resorting to the informal "could do."

  12. "they will have the responsibility to share each other’s responsibilities" -> "they will share mutual responsibilities"
    Explanation: The change eliminates redundancy and streamlines the sentence, using a more concise and formal phrase to convey the concept.

  13. "creating happier families and reduced life pressures" -> "fostering happier family dynamics and alleviating life pressures"
    Explanation: The revised expression employs more formal terms ("fostering," "alleviating") to enhance the academic tone and precision of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.Band Score: 7.0Band Score: 7.0

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  14. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupationsBand Score: 7.0

  15. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations intoBand Score: 7.0

  16. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into twoBand Score: 7.0

  17. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groupsBand Score: 7.0

  18. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups basedBand Score: 7.0

  19. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders becauseBand Score: 7.0

  20. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because ofBand Score: 7.0

  21. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of theBand Score: 7.0

  22. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinctBand Score: 7.0

  23. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualitiesBand Score: 7.0

  24. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities betweenBand Score: 7.0

  25. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between menBand Score: 7.0

  26. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for ImprovementBand Score**: 7.0
  27. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement:Band Score: 7.0
  28. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: TheBand Score: 7.0
  29. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introductionBand Score: 7.0
  30. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • GiBand Score**: 7.0
  31. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearlyBand Score: 7.0
  32. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thBand Score**: 7.0
  33. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presentsBand Score: 7.0
  34. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thíchBand Score**: 7.0
  35. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents theBand Score: 7.0
  36. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và GBand Score**: 7.0
  37. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writerBand Score: 7.0
  38. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và GợiBand Score**: 7.0
  39. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’sBand Score: 7.0
  40. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cảiBand Score**: 7.0
  41. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s positionBand Score: 7.0
  42. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: YourBand Score: 7.0
  43. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position,Band Score: 7.0
  44. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance onBand Score: 7.0
  45. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, whichBand Score: 7.0
  46. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on theBand Score: 7.0
  47. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which isBand Score: 7.0
  48. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topicBand Score: 7.0
  49. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is goodBand Score: 7.0
  50. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic.Band Score: 7.0
  51. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good.Band Score: 7.0
  52. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. ItBand Score: 7.0
  53. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. HoweverBand Score: 7.0
  54. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It isBand Score: 7.0
  55. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However,Band Score: 7.0
  56. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essentialBand Score: 7.0
  57. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, thereBand Score: 7.0
  58. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly stateBand Score: 7.0
  59. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room forBand Score: 7.0
  60. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whetherBand Score: 7.0
  61. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvementBand Score: 7.0
  62. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagreeBand Score: 7.0
  63. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness.Band Score: 7.0
  64. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupationsBand Score: 7.0
  65. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. ConsiderBand Score: 7.0
  66. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations basedBand Score: 7.0
  67. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider reBand Score: 7.0
  68. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based onBand Score: 7.0
  69. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephBand Score: 7.0
  70. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on genderBand Score: 7.0
  71. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasingBand Score: 7.0
  72. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender.Band Score: 7.0
  73. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing toBand Score: 7.0
  74. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. ProvideBand Score: 7.0
  75. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to makeBand Score: 7.0
  76. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide aBand Score: 7.0
  77. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make itBand Score: 7.0
  78. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a conciseBand Score: 7.0
  79. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it moreBand Score: 7.0
  80. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summaryBand Score: 7.0
  81. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinctBand Score: 7.0
  82. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary ofBand Score: 7.0
  83. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct.Band Score: 7.0
  84. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of theBand Score: 7.0
  85. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. ForBand Score: 7.0
  86. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the mainBand Score: 7.0
  87. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instanceBand Score: 7.0
  88. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main pointsBand Score: 7.0
  89. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance,Band Score: 7.0
  90. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points youBand Score: 7.0
  91. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Band Score: 7.0
  92. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you willBand Score: 7.0
  93. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "SomeBand Score: 7.0
  94. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discussBand Score: 7.0
  95. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations basedBand Score: 7.0
  96. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhanceBand Score: 7.0
  97. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based onBand Score: 7.0
  98. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance theBand Score: 7.0
  99. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on genderBand Score: 7.0
  100. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overallBand Score: 7.0
  101. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender dueBand Score: 7.0
  102. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structureBand Score: 7.0
  103. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due toBand Score: 7.0
  104. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure andBand Score: 7.0
  105. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceivedBand Score: 7.0
  106. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guideBand Score: 7.0
  107. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differencesBand Score: 7.0
  108. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide theBand Score: 7.0
  109. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences,Band Score: 7.0
  110. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the readerBand Score: 7.0
  111. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, whileBand Score: 7.0
  112. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
      Band Score: 7.0
  113. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while othersBand Score: 7.0
  114. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
      Band Score: 7.0
  115. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagreeBand Score: 7.0
  116. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
      Band Score: 7.0
  117. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
      Band Score: 7.0
  118. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • **Band Score: 7.0
  119. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
      Band Score: 7.0
  120. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • ImprovedBand Score**: 7.0
  121. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
      Band Score: 7.0
  122. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved exampleBand Score**: 7.0
  123. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • **Band Score: 7.0
  124. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example:Band Score: 7.0
  125. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • ImprovedBand Score**: 7.0
  126. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "Band Score: 7.0
  127. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved exampleBand Score**: 7.0
  128. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "TheBand Score: 7.0
  129. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example:Band Score: 7.0
  130. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notionBand Score: 7.0
  131. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Band Score: 7.0
  132. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion ofBand Score: 7.0
  133. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "SomeBand Score: 7.0
  134. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorBand Score: 7.0
  135. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argueBand Score: 7.0
  136. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizingBand Score: 7.0
  137. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue forBand Score: 7.0
  138. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupationsBand Score: 7.0
  139. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for genderBand Score: 7.0
  140. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations intoBand Score: 7.0
  141. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-basedBand Score: 7.0
  142. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinctBand Score: 7.0
  143. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupationalBand Score: 7.0
  144. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groupsBand Score: 7.0
  145. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisionsBand Score: 7.0
  146. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups basedBand Score: 7.0
  147. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions,Band Score: 7.0
  148. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based onBand Score: 7.0
  149. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citingBand Score: 7.0
  150. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on genderBand Score: 7.0
  151. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinctBand Score: 7.0
  152. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender hasBand Score: 7.0
  153. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities betweenBand Score: 7.0
  154. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate.Band Score: 7.0
  155. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between menBand Score: 7.0
  156. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In thisBand Score: 7.0
  157. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men andBand Score: 7.0
  158. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, IBand Score: 7.0
  159. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and womenBand Score: 7.0
  160. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I willBand Score: 7.0
  161. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women.Band Score: 7.0
  162. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argueBand Score: 7.0
  163. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. HoweverBand Score: 7.0
  164. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue againstBand Score: 7.0
  165. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However,Band Score: 7.0
  166. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspectiveBand Score: 7.0
  167. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagreeBand Score: 7.0
  168. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective,Band Score: 7.0
  169. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree,Band Score: 7.0
  170. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, assertingBand Score: 7.0
  171. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizingBand Score: 7.0
  172. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting thatBand Score: 7.0
  173. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing theBand Score: 7.0
  174. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should haveBand Score: 7.0
  175. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the needBand Score: 7.0
  176. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have theBand Score: 7.0
  177. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equalBand Score: 7.0
  178. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedomBand Score: 7.0
  179. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom toBand Score: 7.0
  2. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  3. **Band Score: 7.0

  4. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursueBand Score: 7.0
  5. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  6. QuBand Score**: 7.0

  7. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue anyBand Score: 7.0
  8. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  9. QuotedBand Score**: 7.0

  10. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any careerBand Score: 7.0
  11. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  12. Quoted textBand Score**: 7.0

  13. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of theirBand Score: 7.0
  14. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  15. Quoted text: "BusinessBand Score: 7.0

  16. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their genderBand Score: 7.0
  17. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  18. Quoted text: "BusinessmenBand Score: 7.0

  19. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  2. Quoted text: "Businessmen,Band Score: 7.0

  3. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."

2Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  2. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctorsBand Score: 7.0

  3. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."

2.Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  2. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors andBand Score: 7.0

  3. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  4. **Band Score: 7.0

  5. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  6. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachersBand Score: 7.0

  7. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  8. QuBand Score**: 7.0

  9. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  10. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers,Band Score: 7.0

  11. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  12. QuotedBand Score**: 7.0

  13. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  14. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, forBand Score: 7.0

  15. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  16. Quoted textBand Score**: 7.0

  17. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  18. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instanceBand Score: 7.0

  19. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  20. Quoted text:Band Score: 7.0

  21. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  22. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance,Band Score: 7.0

  23. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  24. Quoted text: "Band Score: 7.0

  25. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  26. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, areBand Score: 7.0

  27. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  28. Quoted text: "SomeBand Score: 7.0

  29. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  30. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are someBand Score: 7.0

  31. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  32. Quoted text: "Some jobsBand Score: 7.0

  33. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  34. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some ofBand Score: 7.0

  35. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  36. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadaysBand Score: 7.0

  37. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  38. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of theBand Score: 7.0

  39. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  40. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays doBand Score: 7.0

  41. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  42. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professionsBand Score: 7.0

  43. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  44. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do notBand Score: 7.0

  45. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  46. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can beBand Score: 7.0

  47. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  48. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not dependBand Score: 7.0

  49. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  50. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly inBand Score: 7.0

  51. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  52. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantlyBand Score: 7.0

  53. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  54. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes andBand Score: 7.0

  55. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  56. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly onBand Score: 7.0

  57. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  58. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can doBand Score: 7.0

  59. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  60. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on theBand Score: 7.0

  61. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  62. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."
    Band Score: 7.0

  63. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  64. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristicsBand Score: 7.0

  65. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  66. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."
    Band Score: 7.0

  67. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  68. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics andBand Score: 7.0

  69. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  70. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • **Band Score: 7.0
  71. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  72. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and theBand Score: 7.0

  73. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  74. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • ExplanationBand Score**: 7.0
  75. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  76. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differencesBand Score: 7.0

  77. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  78. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation andBand Score**: 7.0
  79. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  80. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences inBand Score: 7.0

  81. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  82. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and SuggestionsBand Score**: 7.0
  83. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  84. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in theBand Score: 7.0

  85. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  86. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions forBand Score**: 7.0
  87. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  88. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physicalBand Score: 7.0

  89. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  90. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for ImprovementBand Score**: 7.0
  91. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  92. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical orBand Score: 7.0

  93. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  94. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement:Band Score: 7.0
  95. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  96. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mentalBand Score: 7.0

  97. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  98. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: WhileBand Score: 7.0
  99. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  100. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths betweenBand Score: 7.0

  101. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  102. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the ideaBand Score: 7.0
  103. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  104. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between theBand Score: 7.0

  105. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  106. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea isBand Score: 7.0
  107. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  108. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the twoBand Score: 7.0

  109. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  110. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clearBand Score: 7.0
  111. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  112. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexesBand Score: 7.0

  113. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  114. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear,Band Score: 7.0
  115. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  116. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"
    Band Score: 7.0

  117. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  118. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, theBand Score: 7.0
  119. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  120. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"
    Band Score: 7.0

  121. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  122. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth andBand Score: 7.0
  123. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  124. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • **Band Score: 7.0
  125. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  126. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and developmentBand Score: 7.0
  127. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  128. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • GiBand Score**: 7.0
  129. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  130. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development.Band Score: 7.0
  131. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  132. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • GiảiBand Score**: 7.0
  133. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  134. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. ProvideBand Score: 7.0
  135. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  136. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thBand Score**: 7.0
  137. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  138. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specificBand Score: 7.0
  139. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  140. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thíBand Score**: 7.0
  141. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  142. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasonsBand Score: 7.0
  143. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  144. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thíchBand Score**: 7.0
  145. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  146. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons orBand Score: 7.0
  147. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  148. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích vàBand Score**: 7.0
  149. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  150. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examplesBand Score: 7.0
  151. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  152. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và GBand Score**: 7.0
  153. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  154. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples toBand Score: 7.0
  155. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  156. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và GợBand Score**: 7.0
  157. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  158. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to supportBand Score: 7.0
  159. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  160. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và GợiBand Score**: 7.0
  161. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  162. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claimBand Score: 7.0
  163. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  164. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ýBand Score**: 7.0
  165. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  166. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim thatBand Score: 7.0
  167. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  168. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cBand Score**: 7.0
  169. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  170. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that bothBand Score: 7.0
  171. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  172. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cảiBand Score**: 7.0
  173. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  174. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both gendersBand Score: 7.0
  175. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  176. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiBand Score**: 7.0
  177. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  178. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders canBand Score: 7.0
  179. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  180. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiệnBand Score**: 7.0
  181. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  182. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excelBand Score: 7.0
  183. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  184. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện:Band Score: 7.0
  185. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  186. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel inBand Score: 7.0
  187. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  188. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: YourBand Score: 7.0
  189. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  190. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in theseBand Score: 7.0
  191. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  192. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your pointBand Score: 7.0
  193. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  194. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professionsBand Score: 7.0
  195. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  196. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certainBand Score: 7.0
  197. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  198. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions.Band Score: 7.0
  199. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  200. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobsBand Score: 7.0
  201. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  202. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. ForBand Score: 7.0
  203. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  204. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs notBand Score: 7.0
  205. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  206. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instanceBand Score: 7.0
  207. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  208. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relyingBand Score: 7.0
  209. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  210. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance,Band Score: 7.0
  211. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  212. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying onBand Score: 7.0
  213. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  214. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborateBand Score: 7.0
  215. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  216. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on genderBand Score: 7.0
  217. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  218. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on howBand Score: 7.0
  219. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  220. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specificBand Score: 7.0
  221. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  222. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skillsBand Score: 7.0
  223. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  224. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristicsBand Score: 7.0
  225. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  226. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills andBand Score: 7.0
  227. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  228. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics isBand Score: 7.0
  229. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  230. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualitiesBand Score: 7.0
  231. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  232. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is validBand Score: 7.0
  233. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  234. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities requiredBand Score: 7.0
  235. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  236. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid.Band Score: 7.0
  237. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  238. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required inBand Score: 7.0
  239. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  240. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. HoweverBand Score: 7.0
  241. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  242. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in theseBand Score: 7.0
  243. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  244. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However,Band Score: 7.0
  245. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  246. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professionsBand Score: 7.0
  247. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  248. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, toBand Score: 7.0
  249. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  250. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions areBand Score: 7.0
  251. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  252. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthenBand Score: 7.0
  253. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  254. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are notBand Score: 7.0
  255. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  256. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen yourBand Score: 7.0
  257. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  258. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not genderBand Score: 7.0
  259. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  260. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argumentBand Score: 7.0
  261. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  262. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specificBand Score: 7.0
  263. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  264. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument,Band Score: 7.0
  265. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  266. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
      Band Score: 7.0
  267. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  268. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provideBand Score: 7.0
  269. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  270. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
      Band Score: 7.0
  271. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  272. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specificBand Score: 7.0
  273. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  274. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
      Band Score: 7.0
  275. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  276. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examplesBand Score: 7.0
  277. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  278. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • **Band Score: 7.0
  279. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  280. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples ofBand Score: 7.0
  281. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  282. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • ImprovedBand Score**: 7.0
  283. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  284. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of suchBand Score: 7.0
  285. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  286. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved exampleBand Score**: 7.0
  287. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  288. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobsBand Score: 7.0
  289. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  290. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example:Band Score: 7.0
  291. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  292. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs andBand Score: 7.0
  293. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  294. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Band Score: 7.0
  295. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  296. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborateBand Score: 7.0
  297. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  298. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "ProfBand Score: 7.0
  299. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  300. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate onBand Score: 7.0
  301. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  302. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "ProfessionsBand Score: 7.0
  303. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  304. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on howBand Score: 7.0
  305. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  306. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions likeBand Score: 7.0
  307. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  308. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individualsBand Score: 7.0
  309. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  310. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmenBand Score: 7.0
  311. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  312. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals ofBand Score: 7.0
  313. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  314. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen,Band Score: 7.0
  315. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  316. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of bothBand Score: 7.0
  317. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  318. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctorsBand Score: 7.0
  319. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  320. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both gendersBand Score: 7.0
  321. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  322. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors,Band Score: 7.0
  323. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  324. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders canBand Score: 7.0
  325. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  326. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, andBand Score: 7.0
  327. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  328. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excelBand Score: 7.0
  329. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  330. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachersBand Score: 7.0
  331. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  332. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel inBand Score: 7.0
  333. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  334. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers areBand Score: 7.0
  335. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  336. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in themBand Score: 7.0
  337. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  338. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are oftenBand Score: 7.0
  339. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  340. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them.Band Score: 7.0
  341. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  342. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursuedBand Score: 7.0
  343. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  344. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. ThisBand Score: 7.0
  345. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  346. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued byBand Score: 7.0
  347. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  348. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This willBand Score: 7.0
  349. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  350. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by bothBand Score: 7.0
  351. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  352. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will addBand Score: 7.0
  353. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  354. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both gendersBand Score: 7.0
  355. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  356. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depthBand Score: 7.0
  357. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  358. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders,Band Score: 7.0
  359. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  360. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth andBand Score: 7.0
  361. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  362. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasingBand Score: 7.0
  363. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  364. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuBand Score: 7.0
  365. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  366. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing theirBand Score: 7.0
  367. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  368. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasBand Score: 7.0
  369. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  370. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilitiesBand Score: 7.0
  371. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  372. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasivenessBand Score: 7.0
  373. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  374. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities.Band Score: 7.0
  375. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  376. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness toBand Score: 7.0
  377. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  378. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. ForBand Score: 7.0
  379. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  380. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to yourBand Score: 7.0
  381. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  382. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instanceBand Score: 7.0
  383. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  384. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoningBand Score: 7.0
  385. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  386. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance,Band Score: 7.0
  387. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  388. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
      Band Score: 7.0
  389. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  390. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, inBand Score: 7.0
  391. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  392. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
      Band Score: 7.0
  393. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  394. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in theBand Score: 7.0
  395. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  396. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
      Band Score: 7.0
  397. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  398. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the fieldBand Score: 7.0
  399. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  400. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • **Band Score: 7.0
  401. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  402. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field ofBand Score: 7.0
  403. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  404. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • ImprovedBand Score**: 7.0
  405. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  406. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of businessBand Score: 7.0
  407. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  408. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved exampleBand Score**: 7.0
  409. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  410. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success reliesBand Score: 7.0
  411. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  412. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example:Band Score: 7.0
  413. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  414. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more onBand Score: 7.0
  415. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  416. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "Band Score: 7.0
  417. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  418. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skillsBand Score: 7.0
  419. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  420. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "InBand Score: 7.0
  421. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  422. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills suchBand Score: 7.0
  423. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  424. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporaryBand Score: 7.0
  425. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  426. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such asBand Score: 7.0
  427. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  428. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary societyBand Score: 7.0
  429. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  430. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadershipBand Score: 7.0
  431. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  432. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society,Band Score: 7.0
  433. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  434. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation,Band Score: 7.0
  435. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  436. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professionsBand Score: 7.0
  437. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  438. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, whichBand Score: 7.0
  439. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  440. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions suchBand Score: 7.0
  441. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  442. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which areBand Score: 7.0
  443. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  444. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specificBand Score: 7.0
  445. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  446. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are notBand Score: 7.0
  447. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  448. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributesBand Score: 7.0
  449. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  450. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherentlyBand Score: 7.0
  451. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  452. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes.Band Score: 7.0
  453. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  454. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  455. **Band Score: 7.0

  456. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  457. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. ForBand Score: 7.0
  458. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  459. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  460. Quoted text: "Band Score: 7.0

  461. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  462. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instanceBand Score: 7.0
  463. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  464. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  465. Quoted text: "InBand Score: 7.0

  466. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  467. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrBand Score: 7.0
  468. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  469. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  470. Quoted text: "In conclusionBand Score: 7.0

  471. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  472. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrivesBand Score: 7.0
  473. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  474. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  475. Quoted text: "In conclusion,Band Score: 7.0

  476. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  477. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives onBand Score: 7.0
  478. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  479. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  480. Quoted text: "In conclusion, IBand Score: 7.0

  481. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  482. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategicBand Score: 7.0
  483. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  484. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  485. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I holdBand Score: 7.0

  486. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  487. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinkingBand Score: 7.0
  488. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  489. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  490. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmlyBand Score: 7.0

  491. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  492. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking andBand Score: 7.0
  493. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  494. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  495. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to theBand Score: 7.0

  496. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  497. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovationBand Score: 7.0
  498. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  499. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  500. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the beliefBand Score: 7.0

  501. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  502. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualitiesBand Score: 7.0
  503. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  504. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  505. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief thatBand Score: 7.0

  506. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  507. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities notBand Score: 7.0
  508. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  509. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  510. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both malesBand Score: 7.0

  511. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  512. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confinedBand Score: 7.0
  513. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  514. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  515. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males andBand Score: 7.0

  516. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  517. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to aBand Score: 7.0
  518. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  519. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  520. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and femalesBand Score: 7.0

  521. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  522. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."

3Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  2. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  3. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunityBand Score: 7.0

  4. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  5. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  6. QuotedBand Score**: 7.0

  7. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  8. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  9. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose anyBand Score: 7.0

  10. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  11. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  12. Quoted textBand Score**: 7.0

  13. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  14. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  15. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kindBand Score: 7.0

  16. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  17. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  18. Quoted text:Band Score: 7.0

  19. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  20. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  21. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they wantBand Score: 7.0

  22. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  23. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  24. Quoted text: "Band Score: 7.0

  25. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  26. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  27. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to workBand Score: 7.0

  28. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  29. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  30. Quoted text: "AnotherBand Score: 7.0

  31. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  32. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  33. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work inBand Score: 7.0

  34. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  35. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  36. Quoted text: "Another importantBand Score: 7.0

  37. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  38. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  39. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."
    Band Score: 7.0

  40. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  41. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  42. Quoted text: "Another important reasonBand Score: 7.0

  43. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  44. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  45. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."
    Band Score: 7.0

  46. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  47. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  48. Quoted text: "Another important reason is thatBand Score: 7.0

  49. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  50. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  51. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • **Band Score: 7.0
  52. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  53. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  54. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that notBand Score: 7.0

  55. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  56. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  57. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation andBand Score**: 7.0
  58. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  59. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  60. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupationsBand Score: 7.0

  61. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  62. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  63. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and SuggestionsBand Score**: 7.0
  64. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  65. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  66. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations basedBand Score: 7.0

  67. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  68. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  69. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions forBand Score**: 7.0
  70. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  71. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  72. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based onBand Score: 7.0

  73. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  74. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  75. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for ImprovementBand Score**: 7.0
  76. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  77. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  78. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on genderBand Score: 7.0

  79. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  80. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  81. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement:Band Score: 7.0
  82. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  83. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  84. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender alsoBand Score: 7.0

  85. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  86. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  87. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: TheBand Score: 7.0
  88. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  89. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  90. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reducesBand Score: 7.0

  91. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  92. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  93. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The conclusionBand Score: 7.0
  94. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  95. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  96. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces genderBand Score: 7.0

  97. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  98. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  99. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The conclusion effectivelyBand Score: 7.0
  100. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  101. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  102. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discriminationBand Score: 7.0

  103. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction clearly presents the writer’s position, which is good. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conciseness. Consider rephrasing to make it more succinct. For instance, "Some argue for dividing occupations based on gender due to perceived differences, while others disagree."
    • Improved example: "Some argue for gender-based occupational divisions, citing distinct qualities between men and women. However, others disagree, emphasizing the need for equal opportunities."
  104. Quoted text: "Businessmen, doctors and teachers, for instance, are some of the professions that can be seen commonly in both sexes and they can do it well."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the idea is clear, the explanation lacks depth and development. Provide specific reasons or examples to support the claim that both genders can excel in these professions. For instance, elaborate on how skills and qualities required in these professions are not gender-specific.
    • Improved example: "Professions like businessmen, doctors, and teachers are often pursued by both genders, showcasing their capabilities. For instance, in the field of business, success relies more on skills such as leadership and innovation, which are not inherently gender-specific."
  105. Quoted text: "In conclusion, I hold firmly to the belief that both males and females should have an equal opportunity to choose any kind of occupations they want to work in."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The conclusion effectively restBand Score: 7.0
  106. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  107. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  108. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination inBand Score: 7.0

  109. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  110. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  111. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in societyBand Score: 7.0

  112. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  113. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  114. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in society…"
    Band Score: 7.0

  115. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  116. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  117. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in society…"
    Band Score: 7.0

  118. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  119. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  120. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in society…"
    Band Score: 7.0

  121. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  122. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  123. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in society…"

    • it wouldBand Score**: 7.0
  124. Quoted text: "It is thought that there should be divided certain occupations into two groups based on two genders because of the distinct qualities between men and women."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the idea of dividing occupations based on gender. Provide a concise summary of the main points you will discuss in the essay to enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "The notion of categorizing occupations into distinct groups based on gender has sparked debate. In this essay, I will argue against this perspective, asserting that individuals should have the freedom to pursue any career regardless of their gender."
  125. Quoted text: "Some jobs nowadays do not depend significantly on the inherent characteristics and the differences in the physical or mental strengths between the two sexes…"

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your point about certain jobs not relying on gender-specific characteristics is valid. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples of such jobs and elaborate on how individuals of both genders can excel in them. This will add depth and persuasiveness to your reasoning.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, professions such as business, medicine, and education require cognitive skills more than gender-specific attributes. For instance, a successful entrepreneur thrives on strategic thinking and innovation, qualities not confined to a particular gender."
  126. Quoted text: "Another important reason is that not dividing occupations based on gender also reduces gender discrimination in society…"

    • **Gi thí brief summaryợi main reasons discussed cải gender’s divisions and well-present more memorable it would the.
    • example**:In example illustrating equal opportunities both can to both genders free more gender.
      individuals " access to diverse career paths, societies can break free from traditional gender norms. For instance, the success stories of with their interests and."

Overall, the presents a. However there is need for more in-depth development of ideas and examples to enhance overall persuasiveness. opportunities in diminishing societal biases."

Overall, your essay presents a clear position and addresses all parts of the task. To enhance your score, focus on providing more specific examples and refining the clarity of your introduction.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, maintaining clear progression throughout. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the topic, and each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, contributing to the overall flow of the essay. There is a clear central topic within each paragraph, supporting the logical organization of ideas.

How to improve:
While the essay is well-organized, there is room for improvement in the use of cohesive devices. Some sentences could benefit from more varied and precise connectors to enhance the overall cohesion. Additionally, a more varied range of vocabulary could be incorporated to further strengthen the essay. Paying attention to the balance between paragraph lengths may also enhance the overall coherence. Overall, a higher band score could be achieved by refining the use of cohesive devices and incorporating a broader range of vocabulary.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary with mostly natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. There is effective use of less common lexical items, contributing to fluency and precision in conveying meanings. The writer skillfully navigates word choice and collocation, resulting in minimal errors. The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the topic, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

The essay successfully argues against gender-specific job distribution, citing the capability of both genders in various occupations. The author employs a range of vocabulary to express ideas, such as "ingenuity," "discrimination," "talented leaders," and "assumption." These lexical choices enhance the essay’s overall sophistication. While there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, they do not significantly impact the reader’s understanding.

Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, with rare errors that can be considered minor slips. The essay effectively employs vocabulary to build logical arguments and maintain a cohesive structure throughout. The vocabulary used is appropriate for an IELTS Task 2 essay, contributing to the overall quality of expression.

How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource score to a Band 9, strive for even greater precision and sophistication in word choice. Ensure that the rare errors in word choice and collocation are minimized. Consider incorporating a wider range of less common lexical items while maintaining accuracy. Additionally, pay close attention to the nuanced use of vocabulary to further elevate the essay’s sophistication and fluency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: This essay demonstrates a good grasp of grammar and punctuation overall, allowing for clear communication of ideas. The essay utilizes a variety of complex structures effectively, contributing to coherence and clarity. While there are occasional errors, they do not significantly hinder comprehension.

How to improve: To enhance the score further, focus on refining complex sentence structures for greater accuracy and precision. Pay attention to minor errors that occasionally arise and aim for a more consistent application of grammatical structures throughout the essay. Additionally, ensure meticulous proofreading to address occasional errors and enhance the overall fluency of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a belief that certain jobs should be divided according to gender-specific qualities possessed by men and women. While this idea may seem reasonable in some respects, there are strong arguments against linking gender to occupational choices for both males and females.

One significant reason is that both genders are fully capable of excelling in any profession. Nowadays, many jobs don’t heavily rely on inherent characteristics or physical/mental strengths unique to either sex. Success in these roles hinges more on intelligence and creativity, qualities present in both genders. For example, professions like business, medicine, and teaching are commonly pursued by both men and women, showcasing their equal competence. Consequently, individuals excel in occupations they are genuinely passionate about, yielding higher quality outcomes.

Another crucial point is that refraining from segregating jobs based on gender diminishes societal gender discrimination and fosters an equitable environment for career selection. In a modern society, when gender ceases to dictate job opportunities, fairness prevails. This approach bridges the gap between men and women in securing fulfilling careers. Previously restricted professions, such as leadership roles, scientific endeavors, business ventures, and political spheres, are now accessible to women, exemplified by renowned figures like Marie Curie and Hillary Clinton. This equality leads to shared responsibilities between genders, resulting in happier families and reduced life pressures for both.

In conclusion, I firmly believe in providing equal opportunities for both males and females to pursue any occupation they desire. This ensures fairness, fosters inclusivity, and promotes a more harmonious society.

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