Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about news. However, others believe that they can learn about news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate as to whether the best way to obtain information is through traditional or digital media. This essay will discuss both views before asserting my advocating for the second perspective.
On the one hand, conventional news has several distinct advantages. The first one is authenticity. To be publishing, the newspapers have to pass the fast-checking processes, which is used to verify the accuracy and truthfulness of the information. Due to this, readers have a chance to read credible reports and avoid fake news. In comparison, digital media are a platform fulled of unverified sources owing to lack validation procedures. The second one is accessibility for the elderly. Most of the old generations do not require technology skills and have bad eyesight. Traditional newspapers are the perfect solutions for this problems. With paper holding in their hands, it is easier to procure and to read.
On the other hand, I firmly believe that online platforms are the most appealing way to stay updated with current events. Firstly, online media provide 24-hour coverage, in which means the news are always the latest information. Imagine that you could just stay at home and know everything outside thanks to this. It is convenient for busy people and easier to stay up to date with current events unlike print media, which need to pass many procedures to print. Secondly, digital platform diverse in many topics and have an appealing and friendly interface with various attractive videos. Social media are a perfect place to receive new informations and interact with another person to know more about their opinions also. For instance, Facebook is one the most popular online platforms in the world. There are a lot of of news that are posted everyday in every categories.
In conclusion, while acknowledging that newspaper offer accuracy news and convenient for elderly, I firmly believe that digital media is an attractive choice because of its latest update, various topics and friendly interface.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is an ongoing debate as to whether" -> "There is ongoing debate about whether"
Explanation: Removing "as to" simplifies the phrase and aligns better with formal academic style, enhancing the directness and clarity of the statement.
"the best way to obtain information" -> "the most effective method of acquiring information"
Explanation: "The most effective method of acquiring information" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the efficiency and purpose of the information gathering process.
"To be publishing" -> "To be published"
Explanation: "To be publishing" is grammatically incorrect. "To be published" is the correct form, indicating the process of publication.
"fast-checking processes" -> "rigorous verification processes"
Explanation: "Rigorous verification processes" is a more precise and formal term that accurately describes the thorough examination of information before publication.
"fulled of unverified sources" -> "filled with unverified sources"
Explanation: "Fulled" is a typographical error; "filled" is the correct word, which correctly conveys the idea of being abundant with unverified sources.
"lack validation procedures" -> "lack of validation procedures"
Explanation: Adding "of" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase grammatically correct and clearer.
"the perfect solutions for this problems" -> "the ideal solutions for these problems"
Explanation: "Ideal" is more appropriate than "perfect" in an academic context, and "these" is the correct plural pronoun to match "problems."
"paper holding in their hands" -> "holding paper in their hands"
Explanation: Reversing the order of the words improves the sentence structure and flow, making it more natural and formal.
"procure and to read" -> "obtain and read"
Explanation: "Obtain" is a more formal synonym for "procure," aligning better with academic style.
"online media provide 24-hour coverage, in which means the news are always the latest information" -> "online media offer 24-hour coverage, which ensures that the news are always up-to-date"
Explanation: "Offer" is more precise than "provide" in this context, and "which ensures that the news are always up-to-date" clarifies the meaning and improves the formality.
"It is convenient for busy people and easier to stay up to date with current events unlike print media, which need to pass many procedures to print" -> "It is more convenient for busy individuals and facilitates staying up to date with current events compared to print media, which requires numerous procedures to print"
Explanation: "More convenient" and "facilitates" are more precise and formal than "convenient" and "easier," and "compared to" is more appropriate than "unlike" in this comparative structure.
"digital platform diverse in many topics" -> "digital platforms offer diverse topics"
Explanation: "Offer diverse topics" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the clarity and precision of the statement.
"have an appealing and friendly interface with various attractive videos" -> "feature an appealing and user-friendly interface with diverse engaging videos"
Explanation: "Feature" is more appropriate than "have" in this context, and "user-friendly" and "engaging" are more precise and formal terms than "friendly" and "attractive."
"Social media are a perfect place to receive new informations and interact with another person to know more about their opinions also" -> "Social media serve as an ideal platform for receiving new information and interacting with others to gain insights into their opinions"
Explanation: "Serve as an ideal platform" is more formal and precise than "are a perfect place," and "gain insights into their opinions" is more academically appropriate than "know more about their opinions also."
"Facebook is one the most popular online platforms in the world" -> "Facebook is one of the most popular online platforms in the world"
Explanation: Correcting "one the" to "one of" fixes a grammatical error, ensuring proper usage of the indefinite article.
"There are a lot of of news that are posted everyday in every categories" -> "There are numerous news posts every day across various categories"
Explanation: "Numerous news posts every day across various categories" is more precise and formal, replacing the informal and awkward original phrasing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the effectiveness of newspapers versus other media for learning about news. The first part discusses the advantages of newspapers, such as authenticity and accessibility for the elderly. The second part presents the writer’s opinion favoring digital media, highlighting its 24-hour coverage and diverse content. However, while both perspectives are mentioned, the discussion on newspapers could be expanded to include more specific examples or counterarguments to strengthen the analysis.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more detailed examples of how newspapers maintain credibility or how digital media can sometimes lack accuracy. Including statistics or studies that support the claims about both forms of media would also enrich the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of digital media, particularly in the second half. However, the phrase "asserting my advocating for the second perspective" is somewhat awkward and could confuse readers about the writer’s stance. The position is generally consistent, but the introduction could be clearer in stating the writer’s opinion from the outset.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction. Phrasing such as "This essay will argue that…" can help clarify the stance. Additionally, reinforcing the position in the conclusion with a strong statement summarizing the key reasons for the preference towards digital media would enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding both media types, such as the authenticity of newspapers and the convenience of digital media. However, some points lack depth. For instance, the mention of "24-hour coverage" is a strong point but could be elaborated upon by discussing how this immediacy impacts public awareness or engagement with news.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with examples or evidence. For instance, discussing specific news events that were better covered by digital media due to their immediacy would provide a stronger foundation for the argument. Additionally, using comparative phrases to contrast the two media types more directly could enhance the clarity of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the merits of both newspapers and digital media. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, particularly in the discussion of digital media, which sometimes veers into generalizations about social media rather than staying focused on news consumption.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of how effectively each medium delivers news. Avoiding overly broad statements about social media and instead concentrating on specific news platforms or types of news coverage would help keep the essay aligned with the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, but it could benefit from deeper analysis, clearer positioning, and more focused arguments to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the writer’s opinion. The body paragraphs are divided into two sections: one discussing the advantages of traditional newspapers and the other advocating for digital media. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing the advantages of newspapers and the shift to digital media could be smoother. The phrase "On the other hand" is used, but the connection between the two perspectives could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the advantages of newspapers, a sentence could be added to summarize these points before transitioning to the discussion of digital media. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis can help maintain focus.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer internal organization. For example, the points about 24-hour coverage and the appeal of digital platforms could be more distinctly separated and elaborated upon.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Following this, each point should be developed with supporting details and examples. For instance, in the second body paragraph, consider breaking it into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the immediacy of news updates and the other on the diversity and interactivity of digital platforms.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast the two viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For example, the phrase "which need to pass many procedures to print" could be better linked to the previous sentence to clarify its relevance.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases throughout the essay. For instance, use "Furthermore" or "In addition" to introduce additional points, and "Conversely" or "In contrast" to highlight differences more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, thereby enhancing cohesion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, improvements can be made in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By focusing on these areas, the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument can be enhanced, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing the advantages of both traditional and digital media. Phrases like "authenticity," "credible reports," and "24-hour coverage" show an attempt to use varied language. However, there are instances of repetition and a lack of more sophisticated vocabulary. For example, the phrase "the best way to obtain information" could be varied with synonyms like "optimal method for acquiring news" or "most effective means of staying informed."
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "traditional" and "digital," consider using "conventional" and "online" or "electronic." Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or collocations related to media could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "authenticity" and "credibility," which effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are notable imprecisions, such as "the first one is authenticity" which lacks clarity and could be better expressed as "one key advantage is authenticity." Additionally, the phrase "fulled of unverified sources" is incorrect; the correct term is "full of." The use of "the perfect solutions for this problems" is also imprecise; it should be "the perfect solution for this problem."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on sentence structure and clarity. Rephrasing sentences for better flow and ensuring that singular and plural forms are used correctly will enhance precision. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises that emphasize context and usage can also help.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, "fast-checking" should be "fact-checking," "fulled" should be "full," "informations" should be "information," and "one the most popular" should be "one of the most popular." These errors can confuse readers and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could include reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools before finalizing the text. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging in regular writing exercises that focus on spelling can also help reinforce correct usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents both views effectively, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "This essay will discuss both views before asserting my advocating for the second perspective." However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that detract from the overall effectiveness, such as "the first one is authenticity" and "the perfect solutions for this problems." The essay primarily relies on simple and compound sentences, which limits the variety and complexity needed for a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings. For example, instead of starting sentences with "The first one is" or "Secondly," the writer could use introductory clauses or phrases, such as "One significant advantage is…" or "In addition to this,…" This would not only diversify the structure but also improve the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity and coherence. For example, "To be publishing, the newspapers have to pass the fast-checking processes" should be "To be published, newspapers must undergo fact-checking processes." Additionally, phrases like "which is used to verify" are awkward and could be simplified. Punctuation errors are present, such as missing commas in complex sentences and incorrect pluralization in "this problems."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly in verb forms and subject-verb agreement. It would be beneficial to review the rules of punctuation, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Practicing writing sentences in the active voice can also enhance clarity. For example, instead of saying "are a platform fulled of unverified sources," the writer could say "are platforms filled with unverified sources." Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on drafts can also help identify and correct recurring mistakes.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and addresses the prompt, enhancing grammatical range and accuracy will be crucial for achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is an ongoing debate about whether the best way to obtain information is through traditional or digital media. This essay will discuss both views before asserting my support for the latter perspective.

On the one hand, conventional news has several distinct advantages. The first is authenticity. To be published, newspapers must undergo rigorous verification processes, which are used to verify the accuracy and truthfulness of the information. Due to this, readers have the opportunity to access credible reports and avoid fake news. In comparison, digital media can be filled with unverified sources owing to a lack of validation procedures. The second advantage is accessibility for the elderly. Many older individuals do not possess advanced technological skills and may have poor eyesight. Traditional newspapers are ideal solutions for these problems. By holding paper in their hands, it becomes easier for them to obtain and read the news.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that online platforms are the most appealing way to stay updated with current events. Firstly, online media offer 24-hour coverage, which ensures that the news is always the latest information. Imagine being able to stay at home and know everything happening outside thanks to this. It is more convenient for busy individuals and facilitates staying up to date with current events compared to print media, which requires numerous procedures to print. Secondly, digital platforms feature diverse topics and have an appealing and user-friendly interface with various engaging videos. Social media are a perfect place to receive new information and interact with others to learn more about their opinions as well. For instance, Facebook is one of the most popular online platforms in the world. There are numerous news posts every day across various categories.

In conclusion, while acknowledging that newspapers offer accurate news and are convenient for the elderly, I firmly believe that digital media is a more attractive choice because of its up-to-date information, diverse topics, and user-friendly interface.