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Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Broadening knowledge is frequently a compelling topic to be discussed. Therefore, the debate over whether the most effective way to study from new things is via press or other categories of media is still going on. While some people believe newspaper can enhance the pace of absorbing new understanding, in my opinion, learning from other means of media may diverse the knowledge and be more optimum approach. In this essay, I will clarify both perspectives and prove my idea.
On the one hand, some individuals believe that learning from press helps readers reap associated benefits in terms of gaining knowledge. This is because when people read through the paper surface, they can associate to words with specific parts by physical contacts such as highlighting imperative data by pen. Such an act likely hones their pace during reading process as they just need to mention the filter information accentuated before. Moreover, they can also secure the reliance of information in the press. For example, in Vietnam, the national government just allows printers to produce the newspapers that contain fully exact information derived from truths rather than tabloids, as a result, there is no point for learners to be skeptical about the origin of the data.
On the other hand, learners may sharp their diverse views by studying via other media. In other words, thanks to developments of technology, users of the internet easily access the open materials through applications. Not only do the advances provide learners with a wealth of resources to deeply learn from, but it also fulfils researchers by multi- perspectives come from other users by comments below the main news. Facebook, for instance, are upgraded its functions to meet the demand of users which smartly generates an online forum for everyone clarifying the truth or learning about the news with others. From my perspective, this will be an opportunity for learners to gain insight into news if they utilize the media with different people in the same topic; thus, those individuals may comprehend different points of view.
In conclusion, while many people prefer using newspaper as the major way of studying in order to improve their pace of learning, I firmly believe using other means of media may optimize the depth of learning by discussing.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Broadening knowledge is frequently a compelling topic to be discussed." -> "Enhancing knowledge is often a compelling topic for discussion."
    Explanation: Replacing "broadening knowledge" with "enhancing knowledge" and refining the sentence structure improves formality and clarity. Additionally, substituting "frequently" with "often" maintains the intended meaning in a more concise manner.

  2. "whether the most effective way to study from new things" -> "the most effective method of acquiring new knowledge"
    Explanation: Using "study from new things" is informal and vague. Replacing it with "acquiring new knowledge" offers a clearer and more academically precise phrase.

  3. "learning from other means of media may diverse the knowledge" -> "learning through alternative forms of media may diversify knowledge"
    Explanation: "Other means of media" is awkward phrasing. "Diversify the knowledge" lacks precision. The revised phrase is clearer and maintains a formal tone.

  4. "clarify both perspectives and prove my idea" -> "explore both viewpoints and support my argument"
    Explanation: "Clarify both perspectives and prove my idea" sounds colloquial. Replacing it with "explore both viewpoints and support my argument" enhances the academic tone.

  5. "reap associated benefits in terms of gaining knowledge" -> "derive associated benefits in acquiring knowledge"
    Explanation: The phrase "reap associated benefits in terms of gaining knowledge" is redundant and can be simplified to "derive associated benefits in acquiring knowledge."

  6. "physical contacts such as highlighting imperative data by pen" -> "physical actions like highlighting crucial information with a pen"
    Explanation: "Physical contacts" is not the ideal phrase here. The revised sentence provides a clearer description of the action, maintaining formality.

  7. "secure the reliance of information in the press" -> "ensure the reliability of information in the press"
    Explanation: "Secure the reliance of information" is unclear. "Ensure the reliability of information" is more precise and appropriate in an academic context.

  8. "there is no point for learners to be skeptical about the origin of the data" -> "learners need not be skeptical about the data’s authenticity"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and clearer in conveying the idea of trustworthiness.

  9. "learners may sharp their diverse views" -> "learners may sharpen their diverse perspectives"
    Explanation: "Sharp their diverse views" is incorrect; "sharpen their diverse perspectives" is a more appropriate and precise phrase.

  10. "thanks to developments of technology" -> "due to technological advancements"
    Explanation: "Thanks to developments of technology" is less formal. "Due to technological advancements" is more suitable for an academic setting.

  11. "users of the internet easily access the open materials through applications" -> "internet users easily access open-source materials through applications"
    Explanation: Adding "open-source" clarifies the type of materials being accessed and maintains a formal tone.

  12. "fulfils researchers by multi-perspectives come from other users by comments below the main news" -> "provides researchers with multiple perspectives through user comments below the main news"
    Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and has an awkward structure. The revised version enhances readability and formality.

  13. "smartly generates an online forum for everyone clarifying the truth or learning about the news with others" -> "intelligently creates an online forum for users to discuss and learn about the news"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is clearer and maintains a formal tone. "Clarifying the truth" is ambiguous and less appropriate in academic writing.

  14. "From my perspective, this will be an opportunity for learners to gain insight into news if they utilize the media with different people in the same topic" -> "This presents an opportunity for learners to gain diverse insights into news by engaging with various perspectives on the same topic through different media sources."
    Explanation: The revised sentence offers clearer and more detailed information while maintaining formality and precision.

  15. "while many people prefer using newspaper as the major way of studying" -> "while many individuals favor using newspapers as their primary mode of study"
    Explanation: "Using newspaper as the major way of studying" lacks precision and formal expression. The suggested alternative is clearer and more formal.

  16. "I firmly believe using other means of media may optimize the depth of learning by discussing." -> "I strongly believe that utilizing alternative media channels can enrich learning through discourse."
    Explanation: The revised sentence provides a clearer expression of the idea and maintains a formal tone by avoiding the awkward phrasing in the original text.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "Broadening knowledge is frequently a compelling topic to be discussed. Therefore, the debate over whether the most effective way to study from new things is via press or other categories of media is still going on. While some people believe newspaper can enhance the pace of absorbing new understanding, in my opinion, learning from other means of media may diverse the knowledge and be more optimum approach. In this essay, I will clarify both perspectives and prove my idea."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction sets the stage for the essay but lacks a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed. To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating the two contrasting views in your introduction and briefly previewing the reasons supporting your opinion. This will provide a roadmap for the reader, making it easier to follow your argument.
    • Improved example: "The ongoing debate on the most effective means of acquiring knowledge encompasses the choice between traditional newspapers and various other forms of media. While some argue that newspapers enhance the speed of comprehension, others, including myself, contend that learning through diverse media sources offers a more optimal approach. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives, presenting reasons to support my viewpoint."
  2. Quoted text: "On the one hand, some individuals believe that learning from press helps readers reap associated benefits in terms of gaining knowledge. This is because when people read through the paper surface, they can associate to words with specific parts by physical contacts such as highlighting imperative data by pen. Such an act likely hones their pace during reading process as they just need to mention the filter information accentuated before. Moreover, they can also secure the reliance of information in the press. For example, in Vietnam, the national government just allows printers to produce the newspapers that contain fully exact information derived from truths rather than tabloids, as a result, there is no point for learners to be skeptical about the origin of the data."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The paragraph presents a valid viewpoint but lacks depth in development. To strengthen this, provide specific examples or personal experiences related to how people benefit from physical interaction with newspapers. Additionally, explain the idea more clearly by avoiding repetition and unnecessary details. Focus on the core points to maintain clarity and coherence.
    • Improved example: "Supporters of learning from newspapers argue that the tangible interaction, such as highlighting crucial information with a pen, enhances understanding. For instance, in my own experience, physically engaging with a newspaper during reading has improved my retention of key facts. This tactile connection aids in filtering and remembering information, fostering a more effective learning process."
  3. Quoted text: "On the other hand, learners may sharp their diverse views by studying via other media. In other words, thanks to developments of technology, users of the internet easily access the open materials through applications. Not only do the advances provide learners with a wealth of resources to deeply learn from, but it also fulfils researchers by multi- perspectives come from other users by comments below the main news. Facebook, for instance, are upgraded its functions to meet the demand of users which smartly generates an online forum for everyone clarifying the truth or learning about the news with others. From my perspective, this will be an opportunity for learners to gain insight into news if they utilize the media with different people in the same topic; thus, those individuals may comprehend different points of view."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This paragraph presents a solid argument but could benefit from clearer expression and organization. Focus on expressing one main idea per sentence to enhance coherence. Additionally, provide specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate the positive impact of online forums and social media on diverse perspectives.
    • Improved example: "Conversely, learners can broaden their perspectives through various online media platforms. The internet, with its plethora of accessible materials, facilitates in-depth learning. For example, interactive forums on platforms like Facebook provide users with the opportunity to engage in discussions, clarifying the truth and understanding diverse viewpoints. Personally, I have found that participating in such online discussions enriches my understanding of news events by exposing me to different perspectives within the same topic."

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the task, but improvement in thesis statement clarity and depth of idea development is needed for a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay exhibits coherence and some cohesion, maintaining a logical progression of ideas. However, there are instances where the essay’s cohesion between sentences and within paragraphs appears somewhat mechanical or faulty. The essay tries to present a clear overall progression and attempts to utilize cohesive devices effectively, although some sentences lack seamless transitions. Paragraphing, while evident, lacks logical structuring at times, affecting the flow.

How to Improve:

  1. Cohesion Refinement: Work on refining the use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Ensure that connections between thoughts are more seamless.
  2. Logical Paragraphing: Enhance logical paragraph structure for better organization. Each paragraph should encapsulate a single clear idea with smooth transitions between them.
  3. Clarity in Expression: Simplify language and expressions for clearer communication of ideas. Avoid complex sentences that may impede readability.

This essay could strengthen its coherence and cohesion by focusing on the clarity of expressions, enhancing logical paragraphing, and refining the use of cohesive devices for a smoother flow between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for some flexibility and precision in expression. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items with an awareness of style and collocation. The essay features a mix of vocabulary, and while some errors in word choice and collocation are present, they do not significantly impede communication. The writer shows an understanding of the topic and uses language effectively to convey ideas. However, occasional errors in word choice and spelling are noted.

How to Improve:

  1. Precision in Word Choice: Pay close attention to word choice to convey meanings precisely. For example, in the sentence "while many people prefer using newspaper," consider using "newspapers" for correct pluralization.
  2. Collocation and Style: Continue to work on using less common lexical items with greater accuracy in terms of collocation and style. This can be achieved through extensive reading and exposure to well-crafted texts.
  3. Error Reduction: Review the essay for minor errors in word formation and spelling. Careful proofreading can help eliminate these rare inaccuracies and contribute to a smoother overall presentation.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, and with some refinement, it has the potential to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, contributing to a varied but sometimes awkward overall structure. There are instances of errors in grammar and punctuation, though they rarely obstruct communication. The essay attempts to convey ideas, but the language use lacks the full flexibility and accuracy expected in higher bands. For instance, the phrase "broadening knowledge is frequently a compelling topic to be discussed" could be more concisely expressed. Additionally, there are awkward expressions such as "they just need to mention the filter information accentuated before," which impacts overall clarity.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on constructing more complex sentences with precision. Clearer and more concise expressions should replace awkward or convoluted language. Paying attention to punctuation and avoiding unnecessary repetition will further contribute to the improvement of grammatical accuracy. Moreover, the essay would benefit from more sophisticated vocabulary choices and nuanced sentence structures to elevate the language to a higher band level.

Bài sửa mẫu

The topic of expanding knowledge is often discussed, and the debate on whether newspapers or other forms of media are more effective for learning is ongoing. While some argue that newspapers enhance the speed of acquiring new knowledge, I believe that learning from various media sources can diversify knowledge and offer a more optimal approach. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives and present my own opinion.

On one hand, proponents of learning through newspapers contend that it facilitates a deeper understanding. When individuals read the printed word, they can physically engage with the content, such as highlighting crucial information with a pen. This practice can improve reading speed as readers can quickly refer back to the highlighted information. Additionally, there is a level of trust associated with information in newspapers. For instance, in Vietnam, the government permits only accurate information to be printed, ensuring learners can rely on the authenticity of the data.

On the other hand, learners can broaden their perspectives by utilizing various forms of media. Thanks to technological advancements, the internet provides users with access to a plethora of materials through applications. This not only offers a wealth of resources for in-depth learning but also enables users to engage in discussions with others through comments. Platforms like Facebook have evolved to create online forums where users can discuss and clarify the truth surrounding news. In my view, this interaction allows learners to gain insights by exploring different viewpoints within the same topic.

In conclusion, while some favor newspapers as the primary means of studying to enhance learning speed, I firmly believe that utilizing diverse media sources can optimize the depth of learning through meaningful discussions with a variety of perspectives.

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