Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The contemporary world has witnessed a wide range of ways that enable people to search news. Some people hold the notion that using newspapers is the most efficient way to gain topical information. However, others believe that they can surf the news more conveniently through social media. This essay will explore both views before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, most citizens believe that surfing information through social platforms is more effective than the traditional way.The potential reason why people prefer to use online information is due to its convenience that helps people save a lot of time .This is due to the fact that most people have their own smartphone or other advanced facilities that not only allows them to find appropriate information faster on many available websites but it’s also free for users without purchasing newspaper . As a result , many people tend to find news on the internet due to their direct benefits. However, some cybercrimes use the hole of digital security in order to release fake news that can negatively impact readers' mindset. Because, people are susceptible when they face sensitive propaganda via online groups, anonymous organizations and unofficial information. Hence, viewers may tend towards bad behaviors such as superstitious or violent behavior even if it encourages some people to commit the crime due to the lack of awareness.

On the other hand, I believe that reading in a conventional way is more useful for people than another. Firstly, most details from newspapers have been inspected before being published to the retailers by prestigious corporations. Thereby, the amount of information may ensure its quality to consumers so that they can gain the useful news that may meet the public expectation such as political details as well as current events. Unless official sources don’t release newspapers, people may become disoriented and this results in their misleading thoughts that can lead to conflict among individuals in terms of ideology. As a consequence, the country becomes turmoil due to the inconsistency of citizens' mindset. Secondly, it plays a crucial role in practicing people’s reading behavior. Granted, when people aren't affected by the screen’s lights, it leads to their concentration being improved as well as their information gained more effectively as well as it prevents people from eye problems such as short-sightedness or astigmatism. So, it has a negative impact on people’s well-being.

To summarize, although both newspapers and other forms of media are advantageous to an extent, newspapers prove to be superior since they can filter out fake news and are more accessible.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The contemporary world has witnessed a wide range of ways that enable people to search news." -> "The contemporary world has seen a variety of methods by which people can access news."
Explanation: The phrase "search news" is somewhat informal and vague. "Access news" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better. Additionally, "a variety of methods" is more specific than "a wide range of ways," which is too general.
"Some people hold the notion that" -> "Some individuals believe that"
Explanation: "Hold the notion that" is somewhat redundant and informal. "Believe that" is straightforward and maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing.
"surfing information" -> "accessing information"
Explanation: "Surfing" is an informal term typically used in casual contexts. "Accessing" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"due to its convenience that helps people save a lot of time" -> "due to its convenience, which saves individuals considerable time"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and informal. The revision clarifies the relationship between convenience and time savings, using "considerable" to enhance the formality.
"it’s also free for users without purchasing newspaper" -> "it is also free for users without the need to purchase newspapers"
Explanation: "It’s" is a contraction and should be avoided in formal writing. "The need to purchase newspapers" is more precise and formal than "purchasing newspaper."
"many people tend to find news on the internet" -> "many individuals tend to access news online"
Explanation: "Find news" is informal and vague. "Access news online" is more specific and formal.
"the hole of digital security" -> "the vulnerabilities in digital security"
Explanation: "The hole of digital security" is incorrect and unclear. "The vulnerabilities in digital security" correctly identifies the issue and is more precise.
"people are susceptible when they face sensitive propaganda" -> "individuals are susceptible to sensitive propaganda"
Explanation: "Face" is incorrectly used here; "susceptible to" is the correct prepositional phrase for describing vulnerability to influence.
"superstitious or violent behavior" -> "superstitious or violent behaviors"
Explanation: "Behavior" should be plural to match the plural context of "behaviors."
"reading in a conventional way" -> "reading through traditional means"
Explanation: "In a conventional way" is somewhat vague and informal. "Through traditional means" is more specific and formal.
"most details from newspapers have been inspected" -> "most information in newspapers has been verified"
Explanation: "Details" is too vague; "information" is more specific. "Verified" is a more precise term than "inspected" in this context.
"the amount of information may ensure its quality" -> "the quality of the information is ensured"
Explanation: "The amount of information may ensure its quality" is awkward and unclear. "The quality of the information is ensured" is more direct and formal.
"people may become disoriented and this results in their misleading thoughts" -> "individuals may become disoriented, leading to misguided thoughts"
Explanation: "Misleading thoughts" is somewhat informal and vague. "Misguided thoughts" is more precise and formal.
"it plays a crucial role in practicing people’s reading behavior" -> "it plays a crucial role in improving reading habits"
Explanation: "Practicing people’s reading behavior" is awkward and unclear. "Improving reading habits" is more direct and formal.
"it leads to their concentration being improved" -> "it enhances their concentration"
Explanation: "Leads to their concentration being improved" is verbose and awkward. "Enhances their concentration" is concise and maintains formality.
"it prevents people from eye problems" -> "it helps prevent eye problems"
Explanation: "Prevents people from" is awkward and informal. "Helps prevent" is more direct and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the effectiveness of newspapers versus other media for learning about the news. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages of online news, highlighting convenience and accessibility, while also acknowledging the potential for misinformation. The second body paragraph presents the author’s opinion favoring newspapers, emphasizing their reliability and the quality of information. However, the discussion could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the strengths of newspapers and the weaknesses of online media, as the argument for newspapers is somewhat more developed than that for online sources.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance between the two views, the author could include more specific examples or statistics that illustrate the drawbacks of newspapers, such as declining readership or the challenges they face in the digital age. This would provide a more comprehensive discussion of both perspectives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that favors newspapers over other media. The author’s opinion is explicitly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, the transition from discussing the advantages of online media to stating a preference for newspapers could be smoother. The phrase "I believe that reading in a conventional way is more useful" could be more assertively positioned to reinforce the author’s stance.
- How to improve: Strengthening the transitions between discussing both views and clearly marking the shift to the author’s opinion could enhance clarity. Using phrases like "In my view" or "I strongly believe" at the beginning of the opinion paragraph would help to emphasize the author’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the convenience of online news and the reliability of newspapers. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration. For instance, while the essay mentions that newspapers filter out fake news, it does not provide concrete examples of how this occurs or why it is significant. The discussion of the impact of screen time on reading habits is interesting but could be better linked to the overall argument about the effectiveness of newspapers.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should provide specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points made. For instance, citing a study on the prevalence of misinformation online or referencing a reputable newspaper known for its investigative journalism would add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the effectiveness of newspapers versus other media. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the second body paragraph when discussing the negative impacts of screen time. While this is relevant to the discussion, it could be more tightly connected to the argument about the superiority of newspapers.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly support the central argument. Reframing the discussion of screen time to explicitly relate it back to the benefits of reading newspapers would help keep the essay on topic. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly ties back to the main thesis will enhance coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in balance, clarity, support, and focus, the essay could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are organized to present contrasting opinions. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition between the discussion of social media and the issues of fake news is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers. Additionally, the conclusion, while summarizing the main points, does not clearly restate the author’s opinion in a way that ties back to the arguments made.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "In contrast," "Furthermore," "As a result") can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one, reinforcing the overall argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. However, the first body paragraph could be more clearly divided into sub-points to enhance readability. The second body paragraph is more cohesive but could benefit from clearer connections between the points made about the quality of newspaper information and its impact on society.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more digestible parts within paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. This structure will help maintain clarity and allow readers to follow the argument more easily.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "on the one hand," and "on the other hand," which help in contrasting the two views. Nevertheless, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the use of "this is due to the fact that" is somewhat repetitive and could be replaced with more varied expressions.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "moreover," "in addition," "consequently," and "for instance." This will not only enhance the flow of ideas but also make the writing more engaging. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, focusing on enhancing logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "contemporary," "topical information," "cybercrimes," and "prestigious corporations." These choices indicate an ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "information" and "news," which could be varied to enhance the lexical range further.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeatedly using "information," alternatives like "data," "reports," or "updates" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to media and communication could elevate the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are moments where precision could be enhanced. For instance, the phrase "surfing information through social platforms" is somewhat informal and could be better expressed as "accessing news through social media." Additionally, the term "the hole of digital security" is unclear and seems to be a misphrasing; it likely intended to convey "the vulnerabilities in digital security."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choices. Reviewing phrases for their common usage and ensuring they convey the intended meaning is crucial. Using a thesaurus to find more suitable terms can also help refine vocabulary choices.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "superstitious" (which should be "superstitions" in context) and "astigmatism" (which is spelled correctly but may not be the best choice in the context). The overall spelling is mostly accurate, which supports the band score of 7.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, possibly reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing common spelling patterns can also be beneficial. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words in academic writing can help prevent future mistakes.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "the contemporary world has witnessed" and "the potential reason why people prefer" shows an attempt to employ more sophisticated grammatical forms. However, there are areas where sentence structure could be improved for clarity and coherence. For example, the sentence "This is due to the fact that most people have their own smartphone or other advanced facilities that not only allows them to find appropriate information faster on many available websites but it’s also free for users without purchasing newspaper" is overly long and convoluted, which may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider using more varied introductory phrases and clauses. Breaking down complex sentences into shorter, clearer ones can enhance readability. For example, instead of "This is due to the fact that…", you could say "This is because…". Additionally, incorporating more varied conjunctions and transitions can help improve the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from the overall clarity. For instance, "the hole of digital security" should be "the whole of digital security," and "the amount of information may ensure its quality to consumers" could be more clearly stated as "the information provided is likely to be of high quality." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and before conjunctions, can lead to run-on sentences and affect the flow of reading.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms. Practicing specific grammar rules, such as the correct use of articles (e.g., "the newspaper" instead of "newspaper") and conjunctions, can also be beneficial. For punctuation, focus on using commas to separate clauses and lists appropriately. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors that may be overlooked during silent reading.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on clarity, coherence, and precision in both sentence structure and punctuation will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The contemporary world has witnessed a wide range of ways that enable people to access news. Some people hold the notion that using newspapers is the most efficient way to gain topical information. However, others believe that they can access the news more conveniently through social media. This essay will explore both views before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, most citizens believe that accessing information through social platforms is more effective than the traditional way. The potential reason why people prefer to use online information is due to its convenience, which saves individuals considerable time. This is because most people have their own smartphones or other advanced devices that not only allow them to find appropriate information faster on many available websites but are also free for users without the need to purchase newspapers. As a result, many people tend to find news on the internet due to its direct benefits. However, some cybercrimes exploit vulnerabilities in digital security in order to release fake news that can negatively impact readers’ mindsets. People are susceptible when they face sensitive propaganda via online groups, anonymous organizations, and unofficial information. Hence, viewers may tend towards bad behaviors such as superstitious or violent actions, even if it encourages some people to commit crimes due to the lack of awareness.

On the other hand, I believe that reading through traditional means is more useful for people than other methods. Firstly, most details from newspapers have been verified before being published by prestigious corporations. Therefore, the quality of the information is ensured for consumers so that they can gain useful news that meets public expectations, such as political details and current events. Unless official sources release newspapers, people may become disoriented, leading to misguided thoughts that can result in conflict among individuals in terms of ideology. As a consequence, the country can fall into turmoil due to the inconsistency of citizens’ mindsets. Secondly, it plays a crucial role in improving reading habits. Granted, when people aren’t affected by screen light, it enhances their concentration and helps them gain information more effectively, as well as prevents eye problems such as short-sightedness or astigmatism. Thus, it has a positive impact on people’s well-being.

To summarize, although both newspapers and other forms of media have their advantages, newspapers prove to be superior since they can filter out fake news and provide more reliable information.