fbpx

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argued that reading news provided by newspapers is the most effective way to keep up with the news, while others believed that there are better channels that could give readers information. However, I side with those who are inclined to use other forms of media rather than conventional newspapers.

Admittedly, traditional newspapers could provide its readers with censored information; thus, they are able to avoid fraudulent and fake news. The process of writing the content for official newspapers would have to pass through a number of sophisticated procedures to ensure that the news included would report the truths and news-worthy stories that are not distorted. As a result, people who subscribed to this form of media do not have to worry about the authenticity of the news provided. However, the ability to recognize untrustworthy information rises remarkably in recent years, especially in areas where the residents are well-educated. This renders seeking printed newspapers unnecessary.

Additionally, electronic media appears to be a superior alternative as it allows users to effortlessly find information that they are interested in. Since those technology-related channels are integrated with artificial intelligence and machine learning models, they could analyze users’ behavior and subsequently recommend contents that satisfy viewers’ novelty. For instance, once the subscribers of online media channels accidentally write or talk about something, it is that thing that would instantly appear on their personal site. Thus, they would not have to spend much effort finding news about the topic they are fascinated with. Moreover, the news on these sites are often provided in different forms, including audio, meticulously designed photographic or plain text, letting its audience perceive the news through many senses, which is obviously beneficial for them to obtain new information.

In conclusion, while reading news through conventional media could be beneficial by providing reliable information, other online alternatives enable users to learn about news in a more convenient and diverse way. This is provided that virtual readers are able to detect fraud information themselves.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Some people argued" -> "Some individuals contend"
    Explanation: Replacing "Some people argued" with "Some individuals contend" introduces a more formal and precise expression, aligning with academic style.

  2. "while others believed" -> "while others assert"
    Explanation: Substituting "while others believed" with "while others assert" enhances the formality of the sentence, using a more assertive verb to convey the opposing viewpoint.

  3. "However, I side with those" -> "However, I align with those"
    Explanation: Changing "However, I side with those" to "However, I align with those" maintains formality and introduces a more sophisticated term to express the author’s position.

  4. "traditional newspapers could provide its readers" -> "traditional newspapers can furnish their readers"
    Explanation: Replacing "traditional newspapers could provide its readers" with "traditional newspapers can furnish their readers" improves grammatical accuracy and introduces a more formal construction.

  5. "they are able to avoid fraudulent and fake news" -> "they can mitigate the risk of fraudulent and fake news"
    Explanation: Substituting "they are able to avoid" with "they can mitigate the risk of" adds precision and formality to the statement.

  6. "sophisticated procedures" -> "rigorous procedures"
    Explanation: Changing "sophisticated procedures" to "rigorous procedures" maintains the idea of a thorough process while using a more precise and formal adjective.

  7. "truths and news-worthy stories that are not distorted" -> "accurate and newsworthy stories free from distortion"
    Explanation: Replacing "truths and news-worthy stories that are not distorted" with "accurate and newsworthy stories free from distortion" maintains clarity and employs more precise language.

  8. "However, the ability to recognize untrustworthy information rises remarkably" -> "However, the capacity to discern untrustworthy information has significantly increased"
    Explanation: Substituting "the ability to recognize" with "the capacity to discern" and "rises remarkably" with "has significantly increased" enhances both formality and precision.

  9. "electronic media appears to be a superior alternative" -> "electronic media emerges as a superior alternative"
    Explanation: Changing "electronic media appears to be" to "electronic media emerges as" adds a more formal and assertive tone to the statement.

  10. "users to effortlessly find information" -> "users to easily access information"
    Explanation: Replacing "users to effortlessly find information" with "users to easily access information" maintains clarity while using a more formal alternative for "effortlessly."

  11. "integrated with artificial intelligence and machine learning models" -> "incorporated with artificial intelligence and machine learning models"
    Explanation: Substituting "integrated with" with "incorporated with" maintains formality and precision in describing the relationship between electronic media and technology.

  12. "viewers’ novelty" -> "viewers’ preferences"
    Explanation: Changing "viewers’ novelty" to "viewers’ preferences" clarifies the intended meaning, using a more appropriate term for what users are interested in.

  13. "accidentally write or talk about something" -> "inadvertently mention or discuss a topic"
    Explanation: Replacing "accidentally write or talk about something" with "inadvertently mention or discuss a topic" maintains formality and provides a more precise description of user behavior.

  14. "it is that thing that would instantly appear on their personal site" -> "that topic would instantly appear on their personal feed"
    Explanation: Substituting "it is that thing that would" with "that topic would" simplifies the expression and maintains clarity in referring to the appearance of content on a personal feed.

  15. "Thus, they would not have to spend much effort finding news about the topic they are fascinated with." -> "Thus, they would not need to exert much effort in seeking news related to their areas of interest."
    Explanation: Changing "Thus, they would not have to spend much effort finding news about the topic they are fascinated with" to "Thus, they would not need to exert much effort in seeking news related to their areas of interest" provides a more formal and detailed expression of the idea.

  16. "the news on these sites are often provided" -> "the news on these sites is often presented"
    Explanation: Adjusting "the news on these sites are often provided" to "the news on these sites is often presented" ensures subject-verb agreement and maintains formality.

  17. "audio, meticulously designed photographic or plain text" -> "audio, carefully crafted visuals, or plain text"
    Explanation: Substituting "meticulously designed photographic" with "carefully crafted visuals" introduces a more formal and precise description of the visual content.

  18. "which is obviously beneficial for them to obtain new information" -> "which is evidently advantageous for acquiring new information"
    Explanation: Changing "which is obviously beneficial for them to obtain new information" to "which is evidently advantageous for acquiring new information" enhances formality and replaces "obviously" with a more sophisticated term.

  19. "while reading news through conventional media could be beneficial" -> "although gaining news through conventional media may offer benefits"
    Explanation: Replacing "while reading news through conventional media could be beneficial" with "although gaining news through conventional media may offer benefits" maintains formality and introduces a more nuanced expression of the idea.

  20. "This is provided that virtual readers are able to detect fraud information themselves." -> "This assumes that virtual readers can independently identify fraudulent information."
    Explanation: Changing "This is provided that virtual readers are able to detect fraud information themselves" to "This assumes that virtual readers can independently identify fraudulent information" clarifies the conditional statement and introduces a more formal expression.

Note: The suggested improvements aim to enhance the overall formality, precision, and clarity of the essay while maintaining a natural flow.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "Admittedly, traditional newspapers could provide its readers with censored information; thus, they are able to avoid fraudulent and fake news. The process of writing the content for official newspapers would have to pass through a number of sophisticated procedures to ensure that the news included would report the truths and news-worthy stories that are not distorted."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point about traditional newspapers providing curated, reliable information is well articulated. However, to strengthen this argument, you could offer a specific example or anecdote showcasing a situation where newspapers effectively filtered out fake news or maintained accuracy. This would add weight to your argument and provide a practical illustration of the credibility of traditional media.
    • Improved example: "Traditional newspapers, due to their stringent editorial processes, effectively filter out misinformation. For example, during the 2020 election, renowned newspapers rigorously fact-checked political claims, providing readers with accurate information vital for making informed decisions."
  2. Quoted text: "However, the ability to recognize untrustworthy information rises remarkably in recent years, especially in areas where the residents are well-educated. This renders seeking printed newspapers unnecessary."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While highlighting the growing capability of individuals to discern unreliable information is relevant, it’s important to acknowledge that not all people possess the same level of discernment. To strengthen this argument, you could elaborate on the challenges some people may face in identifying fake news despite education. For instance, providing an example of a well-educated demographic still falling prey to misinformation despite their education level could enrich your point and add depth to your argument.
    • Improved example: "Despite improved education levels in some areas, not everyone possesses the critical thinking skills necessary to identify fabricated news. For instance, even in highly educated communities, instances occur where individuals, due to their cognitive biases, fall victim to misleading information circulated on social media platforms."
  3. Quoted text: "Additionally, electronic media appears to be a superior alternative as it allows users to effortlessly find information that they are interested in."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The idea of electronic media offering personalized content is valid. However, to further strengthen this point, it would be beneficial to elaborate on how these personalized algorithms sometimes create an ‘information bubble’ that limits exposure to diverse viewpoints. This limitation might hinder users from gaining a comprehensive understanding of complex issues.
    • Improved example: "Yet, the customization of content in electronic media, while convenient, tends to create ‘echo chambers’ where individuals are primarily exposed to information aligning with their preferences. This leads to a narrowed perspective, potentially hindering a holistic understanding of multifaceted societal issues."

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument and provides reasoning to support the preference for alternative media over traditional newspapers. To enhance the response, incorporating specific examples and extending the discussion in certain areas would contribute to a more well-rounded and persuasive argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas with a clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, though there are instances of slight underuse and overuse. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic. The essay balances the advantages of traditional newspapers and electronic media, providing a well-structured argument.

How to Improve: To enhance coherence, ensure a consistent and balanced use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Pay attention to transitions between sentences and paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow. Additionally, consider providing more detailed examples to support your points and strengthen the overall argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, such as "novelty," "untrustworthy," and "sophisticated procedures," contributing to the essay’s overall fluency. The writer shows awareness of style and collocation, evident in phrases like "censored information" and "virtual readers." However, there are occasional errors in word choice and spelling, such as "admittedly," which may slightly affect the overall accuracy.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim for greater accuracy in word choice and spelling. Proofreading the essay to eliminate minor errors like "admittedly" will help improve the lexical precision. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of uncommon vocabulary, especially in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of each medium, can elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, such as the use of subordinate clauses and varied sentence forms. There is good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few errors present. The essay successfully discusses both views and provides a clear opinion.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider refining the use of complex structures and ensuring consistent punctuation throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and expression to further elevate the overall language proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

While some argue that newspapers offer the most effective means of staying updated with current events, others contend that alternative media outlets can deliver news more efficiently. Personally, I align with those favoring diverse media options over traditional newspapers.

Granted, traditional newspapers excel in delivering curated and vetted information, shielding readers from fraudulent or fake news. The stringent editorial processes inherent in official newspapers ensure the dissemination of accurate and unbiased news. Subscribers, therefore, enjoy a sense of assurance regarding the authenticity of the news they consume. However, with the increasing ability to discern untrustworthy information, particularly in well-educated communities, the necessity of relying solely on printed newspapers diminishes.

Moreover, electronic media emerges as a superior option, facilitating effortless access to information tailored to individual interests. Technology-driven platforms, equipped with artificial intelligence and machine learning, analyze user behavior to recommend content that aligns with viewers’ preferences. For example, online media subscribers may find topics they’ve discussed or written about instantly featured on their personalized sites. This seamless accessibility eliminates the need for extensive searches, offering a more user-friendly experience. Furthermore, online news platforms present information in diverse formats—audio, carefully crafted visuals, or plain text—enabling audiences to engage with the news through multiple senses, thereby enhancing their understanding.

In conclusion, while traditional media ensures reliability, the convenience and diversity offered by online alternatives make them more appealing. The key lies in the ability of virtual readers to discern trustworthy sources and navigate the digital landscape effectively.

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT