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some people think that people should be given right use of fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should control toughly over the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that people should be given right use of fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should control toughly over the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Water is considered a precious natural resource which is cherished by many countries. Although strict control over the use of fresh water is necessary, a number of people should be granted the right to use water according to their wish.
On one hand, limiting the amount of water that can be used will be disadvantageous to a number of people. In the case of firefighters, water along with the chemicals is their most effective weapon against fire. Therefore, without the right to use more water than normal households, they cannot maintain the training sessions. As a result, their capabilities of extinguish the fire will be affected, leading to low performance in real-life fire cases.
On the other hand, the government’s adoption of drastic measures to fully control the water use has evident upside. Primarily, there are many households that still waste a overwhelming amount of water because of their competent financial abilities. However, the money that they paid cannot compensate for the loss of water. Therefore, measures and rules are effective tools for instilling the consequences of water overuse, which will help them foster a habit of sensible water consumption. Besides, water restrictions also play a role in educating young generations on how to save the water resources.
In conclusion, the use of water should not be limited for the units serving special functions including the fire fighters or the army. Nevertheless, rules regarding water consumption should be applied in society so that people will pay attention to their habits of water use and educate younger generations.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "which is cherished by many countries" -> "which is highly valued by numerous nations"
    Explanation: Replacing "cherished" with "highly valued" and "many countries" with "numerous nations" elevates the language to a more formal level and enhances precision.

  2. "a number of people should be granted the right to use water" -> "certain individuals should be granted the privilege of water usage"
    Explanation: Substituting "a number of people" with "certain individuals" and "right" with "privilege of water usage" conveys a more formal tone and clarifies the intent behind granting access to water.

  3. "limiting the amount of water" -> "imposing restrictions on water consumption"
    Explanation: Replacing "limiting the amount of water" with "imposing restrictions on water consumption" maintains the formality of the essay while providing a more accurate description of the action.

  4. "without the right to use more water than normal households" -> "without the authorization to access a larger water supply than typical households"
    Explanation: The suggested change enhances formality and clarity by replacing "right to use" with "authorization to access" and specifying "a larger water supply than typical households."

  5. "leading to low performance in real-life fire cases" -> "resulting in diminished effectiveness in actual fire emergencies"
    Explanation: The alternative phrasing employs more precise and formal language, making it suitable for academic writing.

  6. "the government’s adoption of drastic measures" -> "the government’s implementation of stringent measures"
    Explanation: Using "implementation" instead of "adoption" and "stringent" instead of "drastic" maintains formality and improves vocabulary choice.

  7. "waste a overwhelming amount of water" -> "squander an excessive volume of water"
    Explanation: Substituting "waste" with "squander" and "overwhelming" with "excessive" enhances the essay’s formality and provides a more descriptive term.

  8. "effective tools for instilling the consequences" -> "effective means of imparting the repercussions"
    Explanation: The suggested change maintains academic formality and uses a more precise phrase for conveying the idea.

  9. "foster a habit of sensible water consumption" -> "cultivate a practice of prudent water usage"
    Explanation: This alternative employs more sophisticated vocabulary while conveying the same meaning in a formal manner.

  10. "play a role in educating young generations" -> "contribute to the education of younger generations"
    Explanation: The recommended change maintains formality and offers a more precise description of the function of water restrictions in educating younger generations.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both views (people having the right to use fresh water as they like and governments controlling water use strictly) and gives the author’s opinion on the matter.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout. The author’s stance is in favor of granting certain rights to people regarding water usage, but also supports government regulations to prevent wastage.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and supports ideas. It provides specific examples like the importance of water for firefighters and the need to instill responsible water usage habits. These examples enhance the argument.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic and does not deviate from the central theme of water usage and government control.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect.

Overall, this essay scores an 8 for Task Response. It comprehensively addresses the question, maintains a clear position, effectively presents and supports ideas, and stays on topic. The essay is well-structured and provides sound reasoning for the author’s perspective.

One suggestion for improvement is to ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs. Transition sentences can be used to connect ideas more seamlessly and enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, providing even more specific examples and data to support the argument could further strengthen the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably logical organization of ideas. It begins with an introduction that presents the two opposing views on the control of fresh water. The body paragraphs are divided into two main arguments, one for granting people more freedom in water usage and the other for government control. Each paragraph presents its case coherently, discussing both advantages and drawbacks.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow further, consider providing a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction to explicitly state your opinion and the main points you will address. Additionally, ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases, which will help readers follow your arguments more effortlessly.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph has a clear focus and begins with a topic sentence, which aids in maintaining coherence. The structure of the introduction, body, and conclusion is standard and well-organized.
    • How to improve: While the use of paragraphs is generally effective, be mindful of the length of your sentences. Some sentences in the essay are quite long and complex, which might make the text slightly harder to read. Consider breaking down longer sentences into shorter ones for greater clarity and ease of comprehension.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a range of cohesive devices effectively, including linking words and phrases such as "although," "on one hand," "on the other hand," "in conclusion," and "therefore." These cohesive devices help guide the reader through the essay and create a logical progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: While the essay uses cohesive devices well, you could further diversify your vocabulary of transitional words and phrases. This can add richness to your writing and make it more engaging. Additionally, ensure that you use these devices consistently throughout the essay for a smoother reading experience.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. To improve further, focus on strengthening the logical organization by providing a clear thesis statement and enhancing sentence clarity by breaking down complex sentences when necessary. Additionally, expand your repertoire of cohesive devices for added variety and readability. These adjustments will contribute to an even more polished and well-structured essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary with words like "cherished," "advantageous," "drastic measures," "competent," and "instilling." However, there’s room for improvement as some vocabulary could be more varied and sophisticated. The repetition of terms like "water" and "fire" could be avoided by using synonyms and more diverse expressions.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider substituting repetitive words with synonyms and using more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "water," you could use terms like "freshwater," "potable resource," or "aquatic reserves." Similarly, you can replace "fire" with alternatives like "blaze," "inferno," or "conflagration."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary quite precisely. For instance, terms like "firefighters," "training sessions," and "water restrictions" are specific and accurate in context. However, there’s an instance of imprecise usage when the essay mentions "competent financial abilities." The term "competent" here doesn’t precisely convey the intended meaning. It would be better to use a word like "ample" or "substantial" instead.
    • How to improve: To ensure precise vocabulary usage, carefully select words that precisely convey your intended meaning. When unsure about a term’s accuracy, consult a thesaurus or dictionary for synonyms and choose the most suitable option.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits generally correct spelling throughout. There are no major spelling errors that significantly detract from the overall quality of the writing. However, a few minor issues exist, such as "toughly" instead of "tightly" and "overuse" instead of "overuse." These minor errors don’t substantially impact comprehension but should still be corrected for a perfect score.
    • How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully and utilizing spell-check tools to catch and correct minor spelling errors. Additionally, practice using words like "tightly" instead of "toughly" for better precision in word choice.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonably strong command of vocabulary and spelling, with minor room for improvement. To enhance your lexical resource score, focus on diversifying your vocabulary further, ensuring precise word usage, and paying meticulous attention to spelling accuracy. This will help you achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, as well as conditional sentences (e.g., "Although strict control…"). While the variety is decent, some sentences are quite lengthy and could be broken down for better readability and clarity.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound and compound-complex sentences. Additionally, try to vary the length of sentences for better flow and comprehension.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains good grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors, such as in the sentence "a number of people should be granted the right to use water according to their wish," where "people should be granted" should be "people should be granted the right." Another example is "waste a overwhelming amount," where "a" should be "an overwhelming amount." Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences could benefit from more precise punctuation for clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to articles (e.g., "a" vs. "an") and ensure subject-verb agreement (e.g., "people should be granted" vs. "people should be granted the right"). Review your use of commas and other punctuation marks to enhance clarity in complex sentences.

Overall, this essay demonstrates strong grammatical range and accuracy, with only minor issues. To improve, focus on sentence variety and precise grammar and punctuation usage.

Bài sửa mẫu

Water is a precious natural resource highly valued by numerous nations. While some argue for granting individuals the privilege to use fresh water as they like, others advocate for the government’s implementation of stringent measures to control water usage. In my opinion, both views have their merits.

On one hand, allowing certain individuals to have unfettered access to fresh water can have practical advantages. For instance, firefighters heavily rely on water as their primary weapon against fires. Without the authorization to access a larger water supply than typical households, they may face limitations in maintaining effective training sessions. This can ultimately result in diminished effectiveness during actual fire emergencies.

On the other hand, there are clear benefits to imposing restrictions on water consumption. Many households, particularly those with financial means, squander an excessive volume of water. Monetary fines alone cannot effectively convey the repercussions of water overuse. Therefore, the government’s implementation of strict measures and rules can serve as an effective means of imparting the consequences of wasteful water usage. These measures can help cultivate a practice of prudent water usage among the general population. Furthermore, water restrictions can contribute to the education of younger generations about the importance of conserving our water resources.

In conclusion, it is essential to strike a balance between individual rights and societal responsibility when it comes to fresh water usage. While units serving special functions like firefighters may require exceptions, rules regarding water consumption should be applied in society as a whole. This approach can encourage people to pay attention to their water usage habits and play a role in educating younger generations about responsible water stewardship.

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