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Some people think that that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary society, the demand for studying and broadening in mind is extremely noticeable and significant leading to the discussion about ways of learning. Many individuals think that students should study in groups while some think that it is more effective to study by themselves. From my perspective, each of the ideas all have a vital effect on pupils.
On the one hand, many students can draw benefits from studying alone. To begin with, this might help them to be more independent because they are not based on support from others. As a result, students are better at remembering how to solve their exercises. Moreover, they can have the freedom to choose what they want to study and for how long. From that, they learn the methods to arrange and display their schedule and choose suitable times for their work.
On the other hand, it is better for scholars when they learn in groups. First and foremost, thanks to assistance from each other, they can easily combat many difficult tasks so the productivity of studying also increases. Besides, after acquiring new knowledge, applying this in the practical is remarkably essential resulting in studying with many people can make this less boring. From that, teamwork skills which play an important role in the future also are improved.
In conclusion, although the benefits of learning alone are inevitable, the advantages of studying in groups for students are more obvious. I am convinced that they should use both of these ways to concentrate on studying.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "broadening in mind" -> "expanding their knowledge"
    Explanation: Replacing "broadening in mind" with "expanding their knowledge" offers a more formal and precise expression, aligning with academic language standards.

  2. "extremely noticeable and significant leading to the discussion" -> "highly conspicuous and consequential, prompting a discourse"
    Explanation: Substituting "extremely noticeable and significant leading to the discussion" with "highly conspicuous and consequential, prompting a discourse" introduces more sophisticated language without sacrificing clarity, enhancing the essay’s formality.

  3. "Many individuals think that" -> "Numerous individuals contend that"
    Explanation: Changing "Many individuals think that" to "Numerous individuals contend that" elevates the level of formality and precision in the statement, aligning with academic discourse.

  4. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: Replacing "From my perspective" with "In my view" maintains the author’s stance while adopting a more formal introductory phrase commonly used in academic writing.

  5. "each of the ideas all have a vital effect" -> "each of these ideas has a significant impact"
    Explanation: Substituting "each of the ideas all have a vital effect" with "each of these ideas has a significant impact" streamlines the sentence, eliminating redundancy and reinforcing the academic tone.

  6. "To begin with" -> "Firstly"
    Explanation: Transitioning from "To begin with" to "Firstly" provides a more formal and concise introductory phrase suitable for academic writing.

  7. "they are better at remembering how to solve their exercises" -> "they excel in recalling problem-solving techniques"
    Explanation: Changing "they are better at remembering how to solve their exercises" to "they excel in recalling problem-solving techniques" enhances precision and formality, contributing to a more academically rigorous expression.

  8. "they learn the methods to arrange and display their schedule" -> "they acquire skills to organize and structure their schedule"
    Explanation: Substituting "they learn the methods to arrange and display their schedule" with "they acquire skills to organize and structure their schedule" results in a more formal and specific phrasing, aligning with academic language standards.

  9. "it is better for scholars when they learn in groups" -> "scholars benefit more from group learning"
    Explanation: Changing "it is better for scholars when they learn in groups" to "scholars benefit more from group learning" conveys the idea more succinctly and with a higher level of formality.

  10. "thanks to assistance from each other" -> "owing to mutual assistance"
    Explanation: Replacing "thanks to assistance from each other" with "owing to mutual assistance" introduces a more formal and refined expression while preserving the meaning of collaborative learning.

  11. "applying this in the practical is remarkably essential" -> "applying this knowledge in practical scenarios is crucial"
    Explanation: Substituting "applying this in the practical is remarkably essential" with "applying this knowledge in practical scenarios is crucial" refines the language, making it more academically appropriate and precise.

  12. "the benefits of learning alone are inevitable" -> "the advantages of solitary learning are inherent"
    Explanation: Changing "the benefits of learning alone are inevitable" to "the advantages of solitary learning are inherent" maintains the meaning while employing a more formal and nuanced expression.

  13. "the advantages of studying in groups for students are more obvious" -> "the benefits of group study for students are more pronounced"
    Explanation: Substituting "the advantages of studying in groups for students are more obvious" with "the benefits of group study for students are more pronounced" enhances formality and clarity, providing a more polished expression.

  14. "I am convinced that" -> "I firmly believe that"
    Explanation: Transitioning from "I am convinced that" to "I firmly believe that" introduces a stronger and more formal expression of the author’s conviction, aligning with academic writing conventions.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "In contemporary society, the demand for studying and broadening in mind is extremely noticeable and significant leading to the discussion about ways of learning. Many individuals think that students should study in groups while some think that it is more effective to study by themselves. From my perspective, each of the ideas all have a vital effect on pupils."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction sets the stage for the essay topic but lacks a clear and concise thesis statement outlining your stance on the issue. A well-structured introduction should include a brief summary of the main points you will discuss. Consider rephrasing the last sentence to clearly express your opinion on whether studying in groups or alone is more effective.
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, the significance of education and intellectual growth prompts a discussion on effective learning methods. While some advocate for collaborative group studying, others argue for the efficacy of solitary learning. In this essay, I will explore the merits of both approaches, ultimately asserting my perspective on the matter."
  2. Quoted text: "On the one hand, many students can draw benefits from studying alone. To begin with, this might help them to be more independent because they are not based on support from others. As a result, students are better at remembering how to solve their exercises. Moreover, they can have the freedom to choose what they want to study and for how long. From that, they learn the methods to arrange and display their schedule and choose suitable times for their work."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph effectively presents the advantages of studying alone, emphasizing independence and flexibility. However, it lacks specific examples or personal experiences to support these claims. To enhance this section, include concrete instances where studying alone led to improved understanding or better time management.
    • Improved example: "On the one hand, independent study offers students a unique set of advantages. For instance, without relying on external support, individuals develop a sense of self-reliance. An example from my own experience illustrates this; when I tackled a challenging subject independently, I not only mastered the material but also gained confidence in my ability to navigate complex topics."
  3. Quoted text: "On the other hand, it is better for scholars when they learn in groups. First and foremost, thanks to assistance from each other, they can easily combat many difficult tasks so the productivity of studying also increases. Besides, after acquiring new knowledge, applying this in the practical is remarkably essential resulting in studying with many people can make this less boring. From that, teamwork skills which play an important role in the future also are improved."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph highlights the benefits of group studying, emphasizing collaboration and practical application. However, it lacks specificity and personal experiences. To strengthen your argument, incorporate examples or anecdotes showcasing how group study enhanced your understanding of a subject or improved your teamwork skills.
    • Improved example: "On the other hand, collaborative learning environments contribute significantly to a scholar’s academic journey. For instance, during a group project in my physics class, we collectively tackled challenging problems, leading to a deeper understanding of the subject. Furthermore, applying theoretical knowledge in a group setting not only made the learning experience more engaging but also honed my ability to work effectively in a team."

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task, presenting clear positions on both studying alone and in groups. To enhance the overall quality, focus on incorporating specific examples and personal experiences to bolster your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a generally coherent and organized structure. There is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, contributing to an overall sense of progression. The writer uses cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances where cohesion could be more refined, and the progression of ideas may lack precision.

Paragraphing is generally logical, with distinct central topics in each paragraph. The essay shows an understanding of the topic and attempts to discuss both views, providing examples and reasons to support the arguments. While the use of cohesive devices is effective, there are some instances where they could be used more seamlessly, and there is room for improvement in maintaining a consistent logical relationship between ideas.

How to improve:

  1. Ensure a more precise and explicit progression of ideas within and between sentences to enhance overall coherence.
  2. Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas.
  3. Pay careful attention to referencing and substitution to avoid any inaccuracies or repetitions.
  4. Maintain a consistent logical relationship between ideas, particularly when transitioning between paragraphs.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion but could benefit from more meticulous attention to detail in the use of cohesive devices and the organization of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The writer successfully conveys the advantages of both studying alone and in groups, showcasing a reasonable control of vocabulary. However, there are occasional errors in word choice, such as "broadening in mind" which could be more effectively expressed as "broadening one’s mind." Additionally, there are some instances of awkward phrasing that slightly impact lexical sophistication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should focus on refining word choice and paying attention to collocation to ensure a more natural flow of language. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary by incorporating more varied and contextually appropriate terms will contribute to a higher band score. Proofreading for minor errors and refining expression can elevate the essay’s overall lexical quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, showcasing an attempt to use varied sentence forms. There is an effort to introduce complex ideas, but the execution lacks consistency in maintaining grammatical accuracy throughout. Several errors in grammar and punctuation are present, though they do not significantly impede communication.

The essay presents arguments for both studying alone and in groups. However, the expression of these ideas could be more refined to better articulate the advantages of each method. There’s an attempt to use varied vocabulary and expressions, but some sentences lack clarity due to errors in phrasing and word choice.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Punctuation: Focus on improving accuracy in grammar and punctuation to elevate the overall clarity of ideas. Review the usage of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation rules to minimize errors.

  2. Sentence Structure: Aim for a more consistent and deliberate use of complex sentence structures. Balance the mix of simple and complex sentences to convey ideas effectively while maintaining accuracy.

  3. Clarity and Cohesion: Work on expressing ideas in a clearer and more coherent manner. Ensure that each argument presented is well-supported and logically connected to the main topic. Strengthen the transitions between ideas to improve the flow of the essay.

  4. Vocabulary and Expression: Expand the range of vocabulary used, focusing on precise word choice and phrasing to convey ideas more effectively. Practice using synonyms and idiomatic expressions to enhance the overall quality of writing.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can progress towards a higher band score by refining both grammatical accuracy and the presentation of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our modern society, the emphasis on education and expanding one’s knowledge is highly noticeable, sparking debates about effective learning methods. Some argue that students benefit more from group study, while others believe that studying alone is more effective. In my view, both approaches have significant impacts on students.

On one hand, studying independently can offer numerous advantages. Firstly, it fosters independence as students are not reliant on support from others. Consequently, they develop better problem-solving skills and retain information more effectively. Additionally, studying alone provides the flexibility to choose what to study and for how long, helping students learn to organize and manage their schedules efficiently.

On the other hand, collaborative learning in groups also holds merit for scholars. Primarily, mutual support within a group allows students to tackle challenging tasks more easily, thereby enhancing overall productivity. Moreover, applying newly acquired knowledge in practical scenarios becomes more engaging when done collectively, making the learning process less monotonous. This collaborative approach also nurtures teamwork skills, which are crucial for future success.

In conclusion, while the benefits of solitary learning are undeniable, the advantages of group study for students are more apparent. I am convinced that incorporating both these approaches into their learning routine allows students to maximize their focus and effectiveness in their studies.

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