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some people think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have strict laws and regulations that limit the development and use of historical sites and buildings. Others, however, think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have more public participation and education that raises awareness and appreciation of historical sites and buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

some people think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have strict laws and regulations that limit the development and use of historical sites and buildings. Others, however, think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have more public participation and education that raises awareness and appreciation of historical sites and buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Individuals hold divergent views about whether the authorities should enact rigid laws to minimize the devastation of historical relics or heighten public awareness of preserving historical sites. This essay discusses both opinions and reasons for my support for the latter perspective.
To begin with, legislation is believed to be the most effective way to keep the ancient buildings in their authentic state. At first, managers of these prehistoric structures usually need to restore the relics in a very short period to accommodate commercialization and end up losing their initial looks. Therefore, in such instances, laws and regulations play a pivotal role in preventing the workers from totally rebuilding these architectures into new constructions. Moreover, strict laws and heavy fines would be efficient in limiting the irresponsible behavior of tourists, such as littering haphazardly or even stealing relics for home, which directly influence the study of archeologists.
In terms of another viewpoint, I strongly advocate that education and asking for public participation are the superior methods for preserving ancient sites and buildings. By putting old structures on public display, the governments heighten people’s awareness of preserving these architectures. Furthermore, if the antique constructions are utilized as sources of teaching, children could understand thoroughly how their ancestors lived, we also ensure that they are interested in their heritage and take pride in their identity. In addition, the revenue from tourism could be used for the preservation of the buildings. To cite Hue City as an example, the total income from travel is spent on the recovery of the Nguyen’s citadel and kings’ monuments.
In conclusion, it seems to me that even though laws and regulations have proved certain benefits in maintaining old buildings, the option of teaching citizens about their value and encouraging communal involvement is ultimately more.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Individuals hold divergent views about whether the authorities should enact rigid laws" -> "People hold divergent views on whether authorities should enact stringent laws"
    Explanation: Replacing "Individuals" with "People" maintains formality while "rigid" is replaced with "stringent" for a more precise and formal term.

  2. "devastation of historical relics or heighten public awareness of preserving historical sites" -> "deterioration of historical relics or enhance public awareness regarding the preservation of historical sites"
    Explanation: "Devastation" is replaced with "deterioration" for a more accurate representation of harm. "Heighten" is replaced with "enhance" for a more formal synonym.

  3. "This essay discusses both opinions and reasons for my support for the latter perspective." -> "This essay explores both viewpoints and outlines reasons supporting my endorsement of the latter perspective."
    Explanation: "Discusses" is replaced with "explores" for a more academic and formal term. "For my support" is replaced with "supporting my endorsement" for clarity and formality.

  4. "At first, managers of these prehistoric structures usually need to restore the relics in a very short period" -> "Initially, custodians of these ancient structures often find the need to restore relics within tight timeframes"
    Explanation: "At first" is replaced with "Initially" for a more formal expression. "Managers" is replaced with "custodians" for a term better suited to the preservation context.

  5. "laws and regulations play a pivotal role" -> "laws and regulations play a crucial role"
    Explanation: "Pivotal" is replaced with "crucial" for a more common and formal synonym.

  6. "limiting the irresponsible behavior of tourists, such as littering haphazardly or even stealing relics for home" -> "curbing the irresponsible behavior of tourists, such as indiscriminate littering or even theft of relics for personal use"
    Explanation: "Limiting" is replaced with "curbing" for a stronger connotation. "Littering haphazardly" is refined to "indiscriminate littering" for clarity.

  7. "study of archeologists" -> "research of archaeologists"
    Explanation: "Study" is replaced with "research" for a more precise term in the context of archaeology.

  8. "I strongly advocate that education and asking for public participation are the superior methods" -> "I firmly advocate that education and soliciting public participation constitute superior methods"
    Explanation: "Strongly" is replaced with "firmly" for a more formal adverb. "Asking for" is replaced with "soliciting" for a more sophisticated term.

  9. "By putting old structures on public display" -> "By showcasing ancient structures to the public"
    Explanation: "Putting on public display" is replaced with "showcasing to the public" for conciseness and formality.

  10. "the governments heighten people’s awareness" -> "governments raise public awareness"
    Explanation: "Heighten" is replaced with "raise" for simplicity and formality.

  11. "children could understand thoroughly how their ancestors lived" -> "children can gain a comprehensive understanding of their ancestors’ way of life"
    Explanation: "Could understand thoroughly" is replaced with "can gain a comprehensive understanding" for clarity and formality.

  12. "ensure that they are interested in their heritage and take pride in their identity" -> "ensure their interest in heritage and pride in identity"
    Explanation: The sentence is streamlined for conciseness without sacrificing clarity.

  13. "the recovery of the Nguyen’s citadel and kings’ monuments" -> "the restoration of the Nguyen’s citadel and royal monuments"
    Explanation: "Recovery" is replaced with "restoration" for a more precise term in the context of historical sites.

  14. "even though laws and regulations have proved certain benefits" -> "although laws and regulations have demonstrated certain advantages"
    Explanation: "Even though" is replaced with "although" for a more formal expression. "Proved" is replaced with "demonstrated" for precision.

  15. "the option of teaching citizens about their value and encouraging communal involvement is ultimately more." -> "the approach of educating citizens about their value and promoting community involvement is ultimately more effective."
    Explanation: "Option" is replaced with "approach" for a more precise term. "Is ultimately more" is expanded to "is ultimately more effective" for clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both perspectives, discussing the implementation of strict laws and regulations as well as the promotion of public participation and education. Relevant examples, such as the impact of laws on preventing reconstruction and the positive effects of using historical sites for education, support the analysis.
    • How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, consider providing more nuanced insights into the potential drawbacks or limitations of each approach. Additionally, explicitly connect the discussed perspectives to the prompt by emphasizing their contribution to preserving cultural heritage.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position in favor of public participation and education as the superior method for preserving cultural heritage. This stance is evident in the thesis statement and reinforced throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity, explicitly state the position in the introduction and conclusion, ensuring it is unmistakably communicated to the reader.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, supporting them with relevant examples, such as the impact of laws on preventing reconstruction and the positive effects of using historical sites for education. However, some ideas could benefit from more detailed elaboration.
    • How to improve: Extend the discussion on the drawbacks or limitations of each approach, providing a more in-depth analysis. Additionally, explore the potential counterarguments and address them to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing both perspectives and providing examples to support the points made. However, there are moments where the connection to the central theme could be strengthened.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph is directly tied to the overall theme of preserving cultural heritage. Avoid tangential discussions or points that may distract from the main argument. Use transitions to guide the reader through the logical flow of ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively addressing both perspectives and providing well-supported arguments. To enhance the essay further, consider refining the organization for a more seamless flow and providing a nuanced analysis of potential drawbacks for each approach. Additionally, reinforcing the clarity of the author’s position and explicitly connecting perspectives to the prompt will contribute to an even more effective response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that outlines the two perspectives, followed by well-structured body paragraphs that present arguments for each viewpoint. The conclusion provides a concise summary of the main points. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the transition between discussing laws and regulations to the viewpoint on education and public participation could be smoother.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively. Clearly signal shifts between perspectives to guide the reader through the essay’s progression.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the third paragraph, which introduces the viewpoint in favor of education and public participation, is quite lengthy. Breaking it down into smaller paragraphs could improve readability and emphasize key points.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea. In the third paragraph, consider dividing it into smaller sections, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument, such as the role of public awareness, educational benefits, and the financial aspect.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, including pronouns, transition words, and parallel structures. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there are instances where more varied and sophisticated cohesive devices could be employed for a smoother and more nuanced progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as parallelism, conjunctive adverbs, and subordinating conjunctions. This can help create a more seamless connection between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable coherence and cohesion level, refining the logical organization, paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices can contribute to a more polished and effective piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use diverse words and expressions, such as "precarious," "commercialization," "pivotal," and "antique constructions." However, some repetition is noticeable, like the frequent use of "ancient" and "buildings," which could be diversified for a richer lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider exploring synonyms and alternative expressions for frequently used words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "ancient," consider variations like "historical" or "time-honored." This will add nuance to the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, but there are instances where word choices could be more precise. For example, the phrase "restore the relics" might benefit from a more specific term, like "preserve the historical artifacts." On the positive side, terms like "commercialization" and "archeologists" are used precisely.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the specificity of vocabulary. Instead of general terms, opt for words that accurately convey the intended meaning. This precision will strengthen the overall impact of your arguments.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay. However, there are a few instances where word forms or verb tenses may need attention, such as "heighten" (heightening) and "recover" (recovery). Additionally, there’s a lack of a space after commas in a few places.
    • How to improve: Proofread carefully, focusing on word forms and grammatical structures. Utilize tools like spell-check and grammar-check to identify and rectify issues. Also, be mindful of spacing after punctuation to ensure a polished presentation.

In summary, the essay exhibits a commendable level of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in diversifying vocabulary, refining precision, and ensuring consistent spelling and grammar. These refinements will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a reasonably varied range of sentence structures. It incorporates simple and complex sentences. For instance, there is a mix of compound sentences such as "Individuals hold divergent views about whether the authorities should enact rigid laws to minimize the devastation of historical relics or heighten public awareness of preserving historical sites." The essay also uses some complex structures, as seen in the sentence, "At first, managers of these prehistoric structures usually need to restore the relics in a very short period to accommodate commercialization and end up losing their initial looks."
    • How to improve: To enhance variety, consider integrating more complex sentence structures. This can be achieved by incorporating sentences with relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varied sentence lengths. For instance, you could introduce sentences with phrases like "In the event that," or "Given that," to add complexity and sophistication.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are some instances where the structure of sentences could be refined for smoother readability. For example, in the sentence, "By putting old structures on public display, the governments heighten people’s awareness of preserving these architectures," the use of ‘governments’ should be singular (‘government’). Additionally, the essay occasionally exhibits issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "the total income from travel is spent on the recovery of the Nguyen’s citadel and kings’ monuments." It should be "the total income from travel is spent on the recovery of the Nguyen’s citadel and kings’ monuments are."
    • How to improve: Regularly proofread the essay to catch such instances of grammatical inaccuracies. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct usage of singular/plural forms, and refining sentence structures for clarity. Consider incorporating more complex sentence structures while ensuring their grammatical accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar, there is room for improvement in enhancing sentence variety and addressing occasional grammatical inaccuracies for a more polished presentation.

Bài sửa mẫu

People hold divergent views on whether authorities should enact stringent laws to deter the deterioration of historical relics or enhance public awareness regarding the preservation of historical sites. This essay explores both viewpoints and outlines reasons supporting my endorsement of the latter perspective.

Initially, custodians of these ancient structures often find the need to restore relics within tight timeframes. Laws and regulations play a crucial role in curbing the irresponsible behavior of tourists, such as indiscriminate littering or even theft of relics for personal use. Research by archaeologists supports the idea that legal measures are effective in safeguarding historical integrity.

However, I firmly advocate that education and soliciting public participation constitute superior methods. By showcasing ancient structures to the public, governments raise public awareness. Children can gain a comprehensive understanding of their ancestors’ way of life, ensuring their interest in heritage and pride in identity. An exemplary case is the restoration of the Nguyen’s citadel and royal monuments in Hue City, where revenue from tourism is directed towards the preservation of these valuable historical assets.

In conclusion, although laws and regulations have demonstrated certain advantages in maintaining old buildings, the approach of educating citizens about their value and promoting community involvement is ultimately more effective.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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