Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family. What are advantages and disadvantages of a family run business.

Beside the large corporations, family-run businesses are also prevalent in the market. While these businesses can be beneficial in some aspects, especially stable job for younger generations, there are certain drawbacks involving self-independence and circumstances.

On one side, family-run businesses can be helpful for graduated students who have just entered workforce. Young people whose family have their own company may face less pressure on seeking and getting a stable jobs, resolving their financial burden. Furthermore, family-run companies offer workers familiar workplace where their colloegues are also their former acquaitances, thereby individuals who are newbies will face less obstacles when trying to be accustomed to a new environment.

On the flip side, family-businesses can bring certain adversities in some ways. People whose parents have their own company to are less likely to be independence. They never have to step out of their comfort zones to experience and deal with challenges. As a result, they are less motivated to self develop, therefore inability to operate their businesses effectivelhy and boost their companies’ development. In addition, children may be forced to work in their families’ businesses and do the things that they averse and cannot follow their own dream. This not only affects adolescents’ development and work performance but also companies.

In conclusion, family-run businesses can be advantagous, especially for young people who are struggling with job opportunities. However, for those who desire to have their own career path, working in a circumstanced zone with families are not suitable.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Beside the large corporations" -> "In addition to large corporations"
Explanation: "Beside" is incorrect in this context; "in addition to" is the correct preposition to use when introducing a supplementary element, enhancing the formal tone and clarity of the sentence.
"beneficial in some aspects" -> "beneficial in certain respects"
Explanation: "Respects" is a more formal and precise term than "aspects," which is commonly used in academic writing to describe specific advantages or disadvantages.
"stable job for younger generations" -> "stable employment opportunities for younger generations"
Explanation: "Employment opportunities" is a more formal and comprehensive term than "job," which is more specific and appropriate for an academic context.
"there are certain drawbacks involving self-independence and circumstances" -> "there are certain drawbacks related to self-independence and circumstances"
Explanation: "Involving" is vague and informal; "related to" is more precise and academically appropriate, clearly indicating the connection between the drawbacks and the concepts mentioned.
"can be helpful for graduated students" -> "can be beneficial for recently graduated students"
Explanation: "Recently graduated" is more specific and accurate than "graduated," which is a general term that lacks context. This change clarifies the intended meaning.
"face less pressure on seeking and getting a stable jobs" -> "face less pressure in seeking and securing stable employment"
Explanation: "In securing" is more formal and precise than "on seeking," and "employment" is a more formal term than "jobs."
"familiar workplace where their colloegues are also their former acquaitances" -> "familiar workplace where colleagues are also acquaintances"
Explanation: Corrects spelling errors ("colloegues" to "colleagues" and "acquaitances" to "acquaintances") and uses "colleagues" instead of "colloegues" for consistency and formality.
"to are less likely to be independence" -> "are less likely to be independent"
Explanation: Corrects grammatical error ("to are" to "are") and uses "independent" to correct the misuse of "independence" as a noun.
"never have to step out of their comfort zones" -> "never need to venture beyond their comfort zones"
Explanation: "Need to venture beyond" is a more formal and precise expression than "have to step out of," which is somewhat colloquial.
"inability to operate their businesses effectivelhy" -> "inability to operate their businesses effectively"
Explanation: Corrects spelling error ("effectivelhy" to "effectively").
"circumstanced zone" -> "circumstances"
Explanation: "Circumstanced zone" is incorrect and unclear; "circumstances" is the correct term, providing clarity and formality.
"working in a circumstanced zone with families are not suitable" -> "working in such circumstances with family businesses is not suitable"
Explanation: Corrects the awkward and unclear phrase "circumstanced zone with families are not suitable" to a clearer and more formal expression, enhancing readability and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of family-run businesses, which is a requirement of the prompt. However, the exploration of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, while the advantages mention stable jobs for younger generations, it fails to elaborate on other potential benefits such as financial support or mentorship. Similarly, the disadvantages touch on independence but do not fully explore other aspects like the impact on business innovation or family dynamics.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include a wider range of advantages and disadvantages. For example, discussing how family-run businesses can foster loyalty and long-term relationships could enhance the advantages section, while mentioning challenges such as nepotism or lack of professional management could strengthen the disadvantages.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that acknowledges both sides of the argument but lacks a strong, clear stance. Phrases like "can be beneficial" and "can bring certain adversities" indicate a neutral tone rather than a definitive position. The conclusion reiterates the points made but does not clearly state a preference or overall judgment about family-run businesses.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. For instance, they could argue that while family-run businesses have their merits, the disadvantages outweigh them, providing a more decisive conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas but lacks depth and support. For example, the point about young people facing less pressure is mentioned but not backed by examples or statistics. The disadvantages are similarly presented without sufficient elaboration or supporting evidence, making the arguments feel underdeveloped.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should include specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate their points. For instance, they could reference a well-known family business that has succeeded or failed, providing context for their arguments. Additionally, using data or studies related to family-run businesses could strengthen the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing family-run businesses. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the disadvantages section, where the discussion of independence feels somewhat disconnected from the broader implications of family business dynamics.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each point directly ties back to the advantages or disadvantages of family-run businesses. They could use topic sentences that clearly relate back to the main question, ensuring that each paragraph contributes to a cohesive argument.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt, it requires more depth, clarity, and support to achieve a higher band score. By expanding on ideas, providing examples, and maintaining a clear stance, the writer can significantly improve their Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The points are generally organized logically, with advantages presented first followed by disadvantages. However, some ideas within paragraphs could be better sequenced. For instance, the discussion on how family-run businesses help young people could be more effectively linked to the subsequent point about the drawbacks of dependency on family businesses.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each point builds on the previous one. For example, after discussing the advantages, explicitly transition to the disadvantages by summarizing the benefits before introducing the drawbacks, which would create a smoother flow.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of family-run businesses. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first body paragraph is significantly longer and more detailed than the second, which may lead to an imbalance in the essay’s overall presentation.
- How to improve: Aim for more equal development of ideas across paragraphs. For instance, the second paragraph discussing disadvantages could be expanded with more examples or elaboration on the points made. This would not only provide a more balanced view but also enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On one side" and "On the flip side," which help to contrast the advantages and disadvantages. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the phrase "as a result" is used, but there could be more varied devices to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases such as "Moreover," "In addition," "Conversely," and "Consequently." Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help to create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on the logical organization of ideas, balancing paragraph lengths, and enhancing the use of cohesive devices will help to elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "prevalent," "beneficial," and "adversities." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, the phrase "stable job for younger generations" could be enhanced by using synonyms or more descriptive phrases, such as "secure employment opportunities for the youth." Additionally, the use of "helpful" and "certain drawbacks" lacks the depth that could elevate the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should seek to incorporate more varied expressions and synonyms. Reading widely and noting new words can help. For example, instead of repeating "helpful," consider using "advantageous" or "supportive." Engaging with vocabulary exercises focused on synonyms and antonyms can also be beneficial.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "less pressure on seeking and getting a stable jobs" could be more clearly articulated as "reduced pressure to find stable employment." Additionally, "individuals who are newbies" is somewhat informal and could be replaced with "new employees" or "recent entrants to the workforce" for greater clarity and professionalism.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences to ensure clarity. For example, instead of "face less obstacles," use "encounter fewer obstacles." Practicing paraphrasing can also help in developing a more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "colloegues" (colleagues), "acquaitances" (acquaintances), "independence" (should be "independent"), "effectivelhy" (effectively), and "advantagous" (advantageous). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could include reading the essay aloud, using spell-check tools, and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words for practice. Additionally, taking time to review and correct spelling before submission can significantly improve the final product.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria for IELTS Task 2 essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "while these businesses can be beneficial in some aspects" and "On one side" shows an attempt to introduce contrasting ideas. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar structure, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience. The use of phrases like "family-run businesses can be helpful" and "they are less motivated to self develop" indicates a reliance on basic constructions.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses or different conjunctions to link ideas. For example, instead of saying "family-run businesses can be helpful," you could say, "Although family-run businesses can be beneficial, they may also hinder personal growth." Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can create more engaging and dynamic writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, phrases like "stable job for younger generations" should be "stable jobs for younger generations," indicating a pluralization error. The phrase "whose family have their own company" should be corrected to "whose families have their own companies" to maintain subject-verb agreement and plurality. Furthermore, the sentence "People whose parents have their own company to are less likely to be independence" contains a typographical error ("to" should be removed) and uses "independence" incorrectly as a noun instead of the adjective "independent." Additionally, punctuation errors such as missing commas can lead to run-on sentences and confusion.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully, focusing on subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and the correct use of adjectives and nouns. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also help identify common mistakes. Furthermore, practicing sentence construction and reviewing punctuation rules will aid in creating clearer and more precise sentences. For example, ensure that introductory clauses are followed by a comma to enhance readability.

In summary, while the essay shows a commendable effort in addressing the prompt, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Beside the large corporations, family-run businesses are also prevalent in the market. While these businesses can be beneficial in certain respects, especially for providing stable employment opportunities for younger generations, there are certain drawbacks related to self-independence and circumstances.

On one side, family-run businesses can be helpful for recently graduated students who have just entered the workforce. Young people whose families have their own company may face less pressure in seeking and securing stable jobs, thereby resolving their financial burden. Furthermore, family-run companies offer workers a familiar workplace where their colleagues are also their former acquaintances, allowing individuals who are newbies to face fewer obstacles when trying to become accustomed to a new environment.

On the flip side, family businesses can bring certain adversities in some ways. People whose parents have their own company are less likely to be independent. They never have to step out of their comfort zones to experience and deal with challenges. As a result, they are less motivated to self-develop, leading to an inability to operate their businesses effectively and boost their companies’ development. In addition, children may be forced to work in their families’ businesses and do things that they are averse to, preventing them from following their own dreams. This not only affects adolescents’ development and work performance but also impacts the companies.

In conclusion, family-run businesses can be advantageous, especially for young people who are struggling with job opportunities. However, for those who desire to have their own career path, working in such circumstances with family businesses is not suitable.