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Some people want goverments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people want goverments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Divergent perspectives exist on whether national authorities are supposed to budget public money for exploring new life on other planets or for counteracting miscellaneous problems on Earth. I firmly agree with the view that governments should prioritize addressing problems on Earth, as opposed to spending funds on the exploration of life on other planets.
Arguably, there are several rationales for the search for extraterrestrial life, primarily including the preparedness for catastrophic events. Naturally, various threats exist that may exterminate human beings on Earth, notably climate change and pandemics. These acute problems could become unmanageable; thus the pursuit of extraterrestrial life should be undertaken promptly to protect humans against extermination. Moreover, if extraterrestrial life were discovered, it would facilitate the exploration of space, a goal pursued by humans for centuries. Hence, governments are required to invest public money in the pursuit of life on other planets.
But then, undoubtedly, billions of dollars have been allocated to space research, yet tangible outcomes remain elusive. For instance, the Mars Rover missions, while technologically impressive, did not definitively establish the existence of extraterrestrial life. This raises questions about the efficacy of pouring billions into such endeavors when there are pressing issues on Earth that demand immediate attention. In contrast to the findings on alien life, numerous issues have been addressed effectively. Illustrative instances include the management of COVID-19 and the prevention of World War III. Furthermore, if a civilization existed beyond Earth, reaching there would pose another significant challenge to deal with since leaving the solar system is widely considered to be currently unattainable for humans. Considering the aforementioned, I align with the notion that allocating public funds to this endeavor is a misallocation when countless issues on Earth have not been rectified yet.
In conclusion, allocating public funds to the search for extraterrestrial life in the cosmos is somewhat acceptable. Having said that, I hold a belief that it is not an opportune time to do so when there is a host of problems on Earth that should be prioritized to face.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Divergent perspectives exist on whether national authorities are supposed to budget public money for exploring new life on other planets or for counteracting miscellaneous problems on Earth." -> "Divergent perspectives exist on whether national authorities should allocate public funds for exploring new life on other planets or for addressing various problems on Earth."
    Explanation: Replacing "budget" with "allocate" and "counteracting miscellaneous" with "addressing various" enhances the formality and precision of the sentence, aligning it better with academic style.

  2. "I firmly agree with the view that governments should prioritize addressing problems on Earth, as opposed to spending funds on the exploration of life on other planets." -> "I strongly endorse the perspective that governments should prioritize addressing issues on Earth rather than allocating funds to the exploration of life on other planets."
    Explanation: Substituting "firmly agree" with "strongly endorse" and rephrasing "spending funds on the exploration" to "allocating funds to the exploration" elevates the level of formality and articulates the stance more precisely.

  3. "Arguably, there are several rationales for the search for extraterrestrial life, primarily including the preparedness for catastrophic events." -> "Arguably, there are several justifications for the pursuit of extraterrestrial life, primarily encompassing preparedness for catastrophic events."
    Explanation: Replacing "rationales" with "justifications" and specifying "encompassing preparedness" refines the vocabulary and reinforces the academic tone.

  4. "Naturally, various threats exist that may exterminate human beings on Earth, notably climate change and pandemics." -> "Naturally, various threats exist that could pose an existential threat to human beings on Earth, notably climate change and pandemics."
    Explanation: Replacing "exterminate" with "pose an existential threat to" adds precision and formality to the statement, avoiding overly dramatic language.

  5. "These acute problems could become unmanageable; thus the pursuit of extraterrestrial life should be undertaken promptly to protect humans against extermination." -> "These acute problems could become unmanageable; hence, the pursuit of extraterrestrial life should be undertaken promptly to safeguard humanity against existential threats."
    Explanation: Introducing "hence" and replacing "protect humans against extermination" with "safeguard humanity against existential threats" refines the transition and enhances the formality of the expression.

  6. "Moreover, if extraterrestrial life were discovered, it would facilitate the exploration of space, a goal pursued by humans for centuries." -> "Furthermore, the discovery of extraterrestrial life would facilitate the longstanding goal of space exploration pursued by humans for centuries."
    Explanation: Substituting "Moreover" with "Furthermore" and restructuring the sentence for clarity enhances the flow and formality of the expression.

  7. "But then, undoubtedly, billions of dollars have been allocated to space research, yet tangible outcomes remain elusive." -> "However, undoubtedly, billions of dollars have been allocated to space research, yet tangible outcomes remain elusive."
    Explanation: Replacing "But then" with "However" improves the transition and maintains a more formal tone.

  8. "This raises questions about the efficacy of pouring billions into such endeavors when there are pressing issues on Earth that demand immediate attention." -> "This raises questions about the efficacy of investing billions in such endeavors when there are pressing issues on Earth that demand immediate attention."
    Explanation: Substituting "pouring" with "investing" enhances the formality, and it better aligns with the context of financial allocation.

  9. "In contrast to the findings on alien life, numerous issues have been addressed effectively." -> "In contrast to the findings related to alien life, numerous issues have been effectively addressed."
    Explanation: Clarifying "findings on alien life" to "findings related to alien life" improves precision, and repositioning "effectively" enhances the sentence structure.

  10. "Illustrative instances include the management of COVID-19 and the prevention of World War III." -> "Illustrative examples include the management of COVID-19 and the prevention of a potential World War III."
    Explanation: Substituting "instances" with "examples" and specifying "a potential" before "World War III" improves clarity and formality.

  11. "Furthermore, if a civilization existed beyond Earth, reaching there would pose another significant challenge to deal with since leaving the solar system is widely considered to be currently unattainable for humans." -> "Furthermore, if a civilization existed beyond Earth, reaching it would pose another significant challenge, as leaving the solar system is widely considered to be currently unattainable for humans."
    Explanation: Adjusting "reaching there" to "reaching it" and refining the phrasing for smoother readability improves the overall structure and formality.

  12. "Considering the aforementioned, I align with the notion that allocating public funds to this endeavor is a misallocation when countless issues on Earth have not been rectified yet." -> "Considering the aforementioned points, I align with the notion that allocating public funds to this endeavor is a misallocation, especially when countless issues on Earth have yet to be rectified."
    Explanation: Clarifying "the aforementioned" to "the aforementioned points" adds precision, and rephrasing the latter part of the sentence improves both clarity and formality.

  13. "In conclusion, allocating public funds to the search for extraterrestrial life in the cosmos is somewhat acceptable." -> "In conclusion, allocating public funds to the exploration of extraterrestrial life in the cosmos may be deemed somewhat acceptable."
    Explanation: Adding "exploration of" before "extraterrestrial life" and refining the phrasing with "may be deemed" increases precision and formality.

  14. "Having said that, I hold a belief that it is not an opportune time to do so when there is a host of problems on Earth that should be prioritized to face." -> "Having said that, I firmly believe that it is not an opportune time to do so, given the multitude of problems on Earth that should take precedence."
    Explanation: Introducing "firmly" for emphasis, refining "hold a belief" to "firmly believe," and rephrasing "that should be prioritized to face" to "that should take precedence" enhance formality and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument. It discusses the reasons supporting the exploration of extraterrestrial life and presents a clear stance in favor of prioritizing Earthly issues.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, enhancing the depth of analysis for each viewpoint would strengthen the response. Provide more nuanced insights and perhaps explore potential counterarguments to add depth.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position in favor of addressing problems on Earth. Each paragraph reinforces this stance, contributing to a clear and cohesive argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating the main thesis or position in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion. This can help ensure the reader easily identifies the central argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It provides well-developed reasoning for both perspectives and supports arguments with examples, such as the Mars Rover missions and the challenges of leaving the solar system.
    • How to improve: To further enrich the content, consider incorporating more diverse examples or exploring the potential implications of the proposed ideas. This can add depth to the analysis and strengthen the overall argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, addressing the exploration of life on other planets and contrasting it with problems on Earth. There is a brief mention of COVID-19 and World War III, but these are used as examples to support the argument.
    • How to improve: While the essay generally stays focused, be cautious not to delve too deeply into unrelated topics. Keep the discussion tightly connected to the main theme of extraterrestrial exploration versus Earthly issues.

Overall Feedback:
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively discussing both views and providing a well-reasoned argument in favor of addressing problems on Earth. To improve, consider delving deeper into the analysis of each perspective, explicitly stating the main position, and enriching the content with additional examples or implications. Maintain the focus on the central theme throughout to ensure a consistently strong and well-supported argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction presents the two contrasting views clearly, followed by well-structured body paragraphs that present arguments both in favor of and against allocating funds for exploring extraterrestrial life. The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points without introducing new ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a stronger thematic link between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph builds on the previous one and contributes to the overall argument. This can be achieved by using clear topic sentences and transitions.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. There is a clear separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and the conclusion. Each paragraph contains a main idea, supporting details, and examples.
    • How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, pay attention to the development of ideas within each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that supporting details are logically arranged. This will contribute to a more cohesive and easy-to-follow structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("arguably," "moreover," "but then," "furthermore") and pronouns to connect ideas and create coherence. These devices contribute to the overall flow of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the essay already utilizes cohesive devices effectively, consider incorporating more advanced linking words or phrases to enhance coherence further. Additionally, ensure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent throughout the essay to create a seamless connection between sentences and paragraphs.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, earning a Band Score of 7. To improve, focus on strengthening the thematic link between paragraphs, refining the development of ideas within each paragraph, and incorporating a broader range of cohesive devices for a more polished and cohesive presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, with varied word choices and expressions. There is an attempt to use a diverse vocabulary, such as "divergent perspectives," "rationales," "exterminate," "elusive," and "misallocation." However, there is room for improvement in terms of employing a more extensive and nuanced range of vocabulary. Some phrases, like "host of problems," could be replaced with more specific and sophisticated alternatives.
    • How to improve: To enhance your score in this criterion, try incorporating more advanced vocabulary relevant to the essay’s context. For example, instead of "host of problems," consider using terms like "myriad challenges" or "multifaceted issues." Additionally, explore specialized vocabulary related to space exploration and Earthly problems to showcase a deeper lexical range.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas. For instance, the phrases "preparedness for catastrophic events," "acute problems," and "misallocation" are used appropriately. However, there are instances where the language could be more precise. For example, the expression "exterminate human beings" might be too strong, and a more measured term could be employed.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, carefully consider the strength and appropriateness of your vocabulary in different contexts. Instead of "exterminate," you might use terms like "endanger" or "jeopardize" depending on the degree of severity you intend to convey. Pay attention to nuances in meaning and select words that precisely capture the intended message.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay. However, there are a few minor errors, such as "goverments" (governments) and "facilitate the exploration" (facilitating the exploration). While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, improving spelling accuracy is essential for a higher band score.
    • How to improve: Review your essays carefully for spelling errors before submitting them. Utilize spell-check tools, and consider seeking feedback from others to catch any overlooked mistakes. Additionally, pay attention to common pitfalls, such as homophones, to ensure accurate spelling in your written work.

Overall, your essay demonstrates competence in lexical resource, but refinement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy can contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of sentence structures. There is a mix of complex and compound sentences, contributing to coherence and fluency. For example, the essay includes complex sentences such as "Naturally, various threats exist that may exterminate human beings on Earth, notably climate change and pandemics," and compound sentences like "In contrast to the findings on alien life, numerous issues have been addressed effectively."
    • How to improve: To further enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as sentences with multiple subordinate clauses. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of modifiers for added clarity. For instance, instead of "This raises questions about the efficacy of pouring billions into such endeavors when there are pressing issues on Earth," consider rephrasing for a smoother flow: "This raises questions about the efficacy of pouring billions into such endeavors, especially when there are pressing issues on Earth."
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits accurate grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present. For instance, in the sentence "I hold a belief that it is not an opportune time to do so when there is a host of problems on Earth that should be prioritized to face," the use of "prioritized to face" could be revised for clarity.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining sentence structures for smoother and more precise communication. In the example mentioned, consider rephrasing as "prioritized for resolution," which provides a clearer expression of addressing problems. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in verb tenses.

Overall, the essay demonstrates proficiency in grammatical range and accuracy, but refinement in sentence structures and minor grammatical adjustments can elevate the writing further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Divergent perspectives exist on whether national authorities should allocate public funds for exploring new life on other planets or for addressing various problems on Earth. I strongly endorse the perspective that governments should prioritize addressing issues on Earth rather than allocating funds to the exploration of life on other planets.

Arguably, there are several justifications for the pursuit of extraterrestrial life, primarily encompassing preparedness for catastrophic events. Naturally, various threats exist that could pose an existential threat to human beings on Earth, notably climate change and pandemics. These acute problems could become unmanageable; hence, the pursuit of extraterrestrial life should be undertaken promptly to safeguard humanity against existential threats.

Furthermore, the discovery of extraterrestrial life would facilitate the longstanding goal of space exploration pursued by humans for centuries. However, undoubtedly, billions of dollars have been allocated to space research, yet tangible outcomes remain elusive. This raises questions about the efficacy of investing billions in such endeavors when there are pressing issues on Earth that demand immediate attention.

In contrast to the findings related to alien life, numerous issues have been effectively addressed. Illustrative examples include the management of COVID-19 and the prevention of a potential World War III. Furthermore, if a civilization existed beyond Earth, reaching it would pose another significant challenge, as leaving the solar system is widely considered to be currently unattainable for humans.

Considering the aforementioned points, I align with the notion that allocating public funds to this endeavor is a misallocation, especially when countless issues on Earth have yet to be rectified. In conclusion, allocating public funds to the exploration of extraterrestrial life in the cosmos may be deemed somewhat acceptable. Having said that, I firmly believe that it is not an opportune time to do so, given the multitude of problems on Earth that should take precedence.

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