. Some scientist believed that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion

. Some scientist believed that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development, others worry about the negative consequences.
Discuss both views and give your opinion

With the accelerating development of technology, many believe that computers will be able to process information better than humans. Critics of such advancements argue that it may replace human labor completely, while others see it as a tool to make our life more convenient. Both viewpoints are valid due to a multitude of reasons.
On the one hand, supporters of future computers might reason that smarter computers will reduce people’s workload. Because of their intelligence, such machines would better adapt to individual needs. For example, computers may suggest better articles for people doing research by analyzing their search trends or what the study entails. Such adaptability can also be applied for domestic uses, a machine mastermind could identify regular routines of dwellers and external elements to help with daily troubles, from doing housework, organizing schedules to weather forecast and adjusting room temperatures. Moreover, intelligent machines can also positively impact the economy. Such computers may predict future recessions and aid with recovery plans. Complex algorithms that give relatively accurate evaluations of stock value could be easily solved by these computers
On the other hand, many others contend that the introduction of these machines might exacerbate the unemployment issue. Unlike humans, intelligent machines can work with no rest time and minimize casualties in the workplace. Employers having access to such an efficient source of labor would mean that laborers in many fields may be replaced by these computers, resulting in mass unemployment. Another downside would be the misuse of these advanced devices. Criminals may utilize the sophisticated software to steal personal information and hijack security systems. Furthermore, weapons of mass destruction such as toxins, bioweapons and nuclear warheads can easily be created with the aid of these computers.
In my opinion, highly-intelligent machinery could change the world for the better. However, efforts should be made to strictly regulate the use of these devices in order to mitigate their disadvantages.
In short, were these computers to be invented, they could benefit humans in many aspects of their lives. Yet, without proper regulation, such machinery could wreak havoc on future generations

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"With the accelerating development of technology" -> "As technological advancements accelerate"
Explanation: The phrase "As technological advancements accelerate" is more concise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"many believe" -> "many individuals believe"
Explanation: Adding "individuals" specifies the type of entities believed, which is more precise and formal.
"computers will be able to process information better than humans" -> "computers may surpass human capabilities in processing information"
Explanation: "May surpass human capabilities" is more precise and avoids the absolute claim of "better," which can be seen as overly definitive in academic writing.
"Critics of such advancements argue" -> "Critics contend that"
Explanation: "Contend that" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "argue," which can imply a more emotional or personal stance.
"it may replace human labor completely" -> "it could potentially replace human labor entirely"
Explanation: "Could potentially replace" is more cautious and formal, and "entirely" is preferred over "completely" for a more academic tone.
"make our life more convenient" -> "enhance convenience in our lives"
Explanation: "Enhance convenience in our lives" is more formal and avoids the contraction "our," which is less suitable for academic writing.
"Because of their intelligence, such machines would better adapt" -> "owing to their intelligence, such machines could better adapt"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal preposition than "because of," and "could" is more tentative and appropriate for academic discussions.
"a machine mastermind could identify" -> "a machine could identify"
Explanation: Removing "mastermind" avoids the colloquialism and maintains a more formal tone.
"doing housework, organizing schedules to weather forecast and adjusting room temperatures" -> "performing household tasks, scheduling, weather forecasting, and adjusting room temperatures"
Explanation: This revision clarifies and formalizes the list of tasks, using more precise and technical terms.
"Complex algorithms that give relatively accurate evaluations of stock value could be easily solved by these computers" -> "Complex algorithms capable of providing relatively accurate stock value evaluations could be easily solved by these computers"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the functionality of the algorithms and uses more formal language.
"Unlike humans, intelligent machines can work with no rest time" -> "Unlike humans, intelligent machines can operate continuously without rest"
Explanation: "Operate continuously without rest" is a more precise and formal way to describe the machines’ capabilities.
"Employers having access to such an efficient source of labor would mean that laborers in many fields may be replaced by these computers" -> "Employers gaining access to such an efficient labor source would likely result in the replacement of laborers in many fields by these computers"
Explanation: "Gaining access" and "likely result in" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone.
"Another downside would be the misuse of these advanced devices" -> "Another potential drawback is the misuse of these advanced devices"
Explanation: "Potential drawback" is a more formal and cautious expression than "downside," which is somewhat colloquial.
"Criminals may utilize the sophisticated software to steal personal information and hijack security systems" -> "Criminals could exploit the sophisticated software to steal personal information and hijack security systems"
Explanation: "Could exploit" is more formal and appropriate for discussing potential misuse in an academic context.
"In my opinion, highly-intelligent machinery could change the world for the better" -> "In my opinion, highly intelligent machinery could positively impact the world"
Explanation: "Positively impact" is a more formal and precise alternative to "change for the better," which is somewhat colloquial.
"However, efforts should be made to strictly regulate the use of these devices" -> "However, it is essential to strictly regulate the use of these devices"
Explanation: "It is essential" adds a sense of urgency and formality, emphasizing the importance of regulation.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the potential intelligence of computers compared to humans. The first part discusses the positive aspects, such as reducing workload and enhancing economic predictions, while the second part outlines the negative consequences, including unemployment and misuse of technology. The introduction clearly states the dual nature of the argument, and the conclusion summarizes the discussion well. However, the essay could have provided a more explicit discussion of the implications of these views on society.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the positive and negative impacts of intelligent machines on society. Additionally, a more detailed exploration of the implications of these views could strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that intelligent machines could benefit humanity but emphasizes the need for regulation to mitigate risks. This stance is consistently presented throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing both views and presenting the opinion could be smoother to reinforce the position more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the discussion of both views to their opinion. For instance, stating how the positive aspects outweigh the negatives could help clarify the position more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas, such as the adaptability of intelligent machines and the potential for economic benefits. These ideas are generally well-supported with examples, like the mention of computers aiding in research and economic predictions. However, some points, particularly regarding the negative consequences, could benefit from further elaboration to provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on the negative consequences with specific examples or statistics that illustrate the potential impact on employment and security. This would provide a more comprehensive view of the topic and strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s requirements effectively. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused, particularly in the sections discussing the misuse of technology. While relevant, these points could be more directly tied back to the main argument regarding the intelligence of computers.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the central theme of the essay. This can be achieved by explicitly linking examples back to the prompt and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument being made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively discusses both views while presenting a clear opinion. With some refinements in elaboration and focus, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two opposing viewpoints. Each viewpoint is discussed in separate paragraphs, which helps maintain clarity. However, the transition between the two sides could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of intelligent machines to the potential drawbacks feels abrupt. The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the discussion but could better tie back to the initial arguments presented.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift from one viewpoint to another, such as "Conversely" or "In contrast." Additionally, reiterating key points from the discussion in the conclusion can help reinforce the logical progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the positive aspects of intelligent machines, while the second addresses the negative consequences. However, some paragraphs could be more focused. For example, the second body paragraph combines several ideas about unemployment and misuse, which could be split into two distinct paragraphs for clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for each paragraph to contain a single main idea, supported by relevant examples. This will not only improve clarity but also strengthen the overall argument. For instance, consider creating a separate paragraph dedicated to the potential misuse of technology, allowing for a more in-depth exploration of that concern.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal the contrasting viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited. For example, while there are instances of reference (e.g., "these machines"), there is a lack of varied conjunctions and linking phrases that could enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In addition," and "Nevertheless." This will help create a more seamless connection between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain engagement.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially elevating the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "accelerating development," "exacerbate," "adaptability," and "sophisticated software." These words effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could enhance the essay further. For example, the phrase "better adapt to individual needs" could be replaced with "tailor their responses to individual needs" to showcase a broader lexical range.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "computers," alternatives like "machines," "devices," or "artificial intelligence" could be employed. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help expand the range of vocabulary used.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "a machine mastermind" is somewhat vague and could be interpreted in multiple ways. Additionally, "weapons of mass destruction such as toxins, bioweapons and nuclear warheads" could be more precisely articulated by specifying that these are types of weapons rather than implying they are all categorized under the same term.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using terms that clearly convey their intended meaning. For example, instead of "a machine mastermind," the writer could specify "an advanced artificial intelligence system." Furthermore, ensuring that technical terms are used correctly and consistently will improve clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors that detract from the overall readability. Words such as "convenient," "evaluate," and "regulate" are spelled correctly, demonstrating the writer’s command of standard English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words and practicing them can bolster confidence in spelling.

Overall, the essay achieves a solid Band 7 in Lexical Resource due to its effective use of vocabulary, though there is room for improvement in range, precision, and spelling practices. By incorporating more varied vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining high spelling standards, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences are effectively used, such as "Because of their intelligence, such machines would better adapt to individual needs," which showcases the use of a subordinate clause. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, contributing to a more engaging and sophisticated writing style. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced, such as the frequent use of "Such" at the beginning of sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could experiment with different ways to introduce ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Such," the writer could use phrases like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Moreover," to create a smoother flow and maintain reader interest. Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence openings and using inversion or participial phrases could further diversify the writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "a machine mastermind could identify regular routines of dwellers" could be more clearly expressed as "a machine could identify the regular routines of its users." This slight awkwardness affects clarity. Punctuation is generally well-handled, but there are a few instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before "from doing housework" in the list of domestic uses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on clarity and precision in phrasing. Reviewing sentences for potential awkwardness and restructuring them for better flow can be beneficial. Additionally, practicing the use of commas, particularly in complex lists or clauses, will help improve punctuation skills. For instance, ensuring that introductory phrases are followed by a comma can enhance the overall clarity of the writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, further diversification of sentence structures and attention to clarity and punctuation will help elevate the writing to an even higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the accelerating development of technology, many believe that computers will be able to process information better than humans. Critics of such advancements argue that they may replace human labor completely, while others see them as tools to make our lives more convenient. Both viewpoints are valid due to a multitude of reasons.

On the one hand, supporters of future computers might reason that smarter computers will reduce people’s workload. Owing to their intelligence, such machines would better adapt to individual needs. For example, computers may suggest better articles for people doing research by analyzing their search trends or what the study entails. Such adaptability can also be applied for domestic uses; a machine mastermind could identify regular routines of dwellers and external elements to help with daily troubles, from doing housework and organizing schedules to weather forecasting and adjusting room temperatures. Moreover, intelligent machines can also positively impact the economy. Such computers may predict future recessions and aid with recovery plans. Complex algorithms capable of providing relatively accurate evaluations of stock value could be easily solved by these computers.

On the other hand, many others contend that the introduction of these machines might exacerbate the unemployment issue. Unlike humans, intelligent machines can work without rest and minimize casualties in the workplace. Employers gaining access to such an efficient source of labor would mean that laborers in many fields may be replaced by these computers, resulting in mass unemployment. Another downside would be the misuse of these advanced devices. Criminals could exploit the sophisticated software to steal personal information and hijack security systems. Furthermore, weapons of mass destruction such as toxins, bioweapons, and nuclear warheads can easily be created with the aid of these computers.

In my opinion, highly intelligent machinery could change the world for the better. However, efforts should be made to strictly regulate the use of these devices in order to mitigate their disadvantages.

In short, were these computers to be invented, they could benefit humans in many aspects of their lives. Yet, without proper regulation, such machinery could wreak havoc on future generations.