Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligent than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

In today’s world, with the development of cutting-edge technology, especially in artificial intelligence, many people are concerned about computers being smarter than humans. From my perspective, I believe that there are many benefits to our lives when that happens.

On the one hand, Al may cause many negative problems and there are some reasons that people are concerned about this development. Firstly, Al will one day control the human species. This dystopia happens when it can teach itself and develop into a supercomputer, making humans its servants. Another concern is that robots will take over our jobs. Owing to their abilities to work quickly and exactly, they are capable of replacing human workers. As a result, people will find themselves unemployed when this happens.

On the other hand, humans can gain the advantage of computers. The first benefit is that Al utilizes resources better than humans do. They complete tasks faster, more efficiently, and have less demand than humans. For example, computers do not need to be paid, be fed, or be accommodated in housing. As a result, using computers as labor will save on resources that can be allocated to human development. The second advantage is that computers bring convenience to humans. The age of AI means less physical labor and more accessible information to other people.

To sum up, there are both positives and negatives to developing computers that are as intelligent as humans. I believe that It is important to find a balance and methods of mitigating the dangers.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Al may cause many negative problems" -> "Artificial intelligence (AI) may engender numerous challenges"
Explanation: Replacing "Al may cause many negative problems" with "Artificial intelligence (AI) may engender numerous challenges" enhances clarity and formality by using the full term "artificial intelligence" and a more precise description of the potential issues.
"Al will one day control the human species" -> "AI could potentially exert control over humanity"
Explanation: "Al will one day control the human species" sounds too definitive and lacks nuance. "AI could potentially exert control over humanity" maintains the idea while incorporating a more speculative tone, fitting for academic discussion.
"This dystopia happens when it can teach itself and develop into a supercomputer" -> "This dystopian scenario arises when AI achieves self-teaching capabilities and evolves into a supercomputer"
Explanation: "This dystopia happens when it can teach itself and develop into a supercomputer" is imprecise and lacks sophistication. "This dystopian scenario arises when AI achieves self-teaching capabilities and evolves into a supercomputer" clarifies the concept and uses more precise language.
"robots will take over our jobs" -> "robots will supplant human labor"
Explanation: "Robots will take over our jobs" is a colloquial expression. "Robots will supplant human labor" offers a more formal and precise description of the situation.
"As a result, people will find themselves unemployed when this happens" -> "Consequently, widespread unemployment may ensue"
Explanation: "As a result, people will find themselves unemployed when this happens" is redundant and lacks formality. "Consequently, widespread unemployment may ensue" maintains clarity and enhances the academic tone.
"humans can gain the advantage of computers" -> "humans can benefit from computerization"
Explanation: "Humans can gain the advantage of computers" is somewhat awkward. "Humans can benefit from computerization" is more concise and formal.
"Al utilizes resources better than humans do" -> "AI optimizes resource utilization more effectively than humans"
Explanation: "Al utilizes resources better than humans do" could be phrased more formally. "AI optimizes resource utilization more effectively than humans" maintains clarity while using a more precise vocabulary.
"The first benefit is that Al utilizes resources better than humans do" -> "Firstly, AI optimizes resource utilization more effectively than humans"
Explanation: The phrase "The first benefit is that Al utilizes resources better than humans do" could be more succinctly expressed. "Firstly, AI optimizes resource utilization more effectively than humans" maintains clarity and follows a more structured academic style.
"The second advantage is that computers bring convenience to humans" -> "Secondly, computers enhance convenience for humans"
Explanation: "The second advantage is that computers bring convenience to humans" can be expressed more concisely. "Secondly, computers enhance convenience for humans" maintains clarity and adheres to formal language conventions.
"It is important to find a balance and methods of mitigating the dangers" -> "It is imperative to strike a balance and employ strategies to mitigate associated risks"
Explanation: "It is important to find a balance and methods of mitigating the dangers" could be more precise and formal. "It is imperative to strike a balance and employ strategies to mitigate associated risks" maintains clarity and enhances formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument regarding the potential future intelligence of computers. It discusses the positive aspects such as efficiency gains and resource utilization by AI, as well as the negative concerns including job displacement and the potential for AI dominance.
- How to improve: To enhance the score in this criterion, ensure that each viewpoint (positive and negative) is explored with equal depth. Additionally, explicitly tie back opinions and arguments to the prompt throughout the essay to maintain a clear connection to all parts of the question.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay takes a clear stance that leans towards the positive implications of advanced AI, emphasizing benefits like efficiency and resource savings. This position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While maintaining a clear position is essential, ensure that counterarguments (negative consequences) are acknowledged and balanced against the presented stance to demonstrate a nuanced understanding of both perspectives.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented adequately with examples such as AI’s efficiency and its potential impact on employment. However, some ideas lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration and development.
- How to improve: To strengthen this aspect, expand on each idea with more specific examples, data, or hypothetical scenarios to provide a deeper analysis and support for each argument presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the future intelligence of computers and its implications, though there are moments where the discussion could be more focused.
- How to improve: To improve coherence and relevance, ensure that each paragraph directly connects back to the prompt. Avoid tangents or general statements that stray from discussing the specific impact of AI intelligence compared to humans.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt with a clear position and balanced exploration of both positive and negative aspects of advanced AI. To achieve a higher band score, focus on deeper analysis, more specific examples, and maintaining strict relevance to the essay topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure, with a balanced presentation of both sides of the argument. It starts with an introduction that sets up the discussion, followed by two body paragraphs presenting arguments for both the positive and negative aspects of computers becoming more intelligent. The essay concludes with a brief summary and the writer’s opinion. Each paragraph maintains a coherent focus on its respective point, contributing to the overall logical flow of ideas.
- How to improve: While the overall organization is effective, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs could enhance coherence. For instance, employing transitional phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" more consistently can help guide the reader through the shifts in argumentation.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs—a clear introduction, followed by two body paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, and a concise conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and contains sufficient supporting details. However, the third paragraph, serving as the conclusion, could be more developed to summarize the main points more comprehensively.
- How to improve: Consider expanding the conclusion to reiterate the key arguments presented in the body paragraphs and reinforce the writer’s opinion. This will provide a more comprehensive closure to the essay and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure coherence. These include transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which signal shifts between contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("they," "it") and repetition ("Al," "computers") help maintain coherence within and between sentences.
- How to improve: While the essay utilizes cohesive devices adequately, incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., "furthermore," "however," "in contrast") can enhance coherence further. Additionally, ensuring consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay will strengthen the overall coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. There is evidence of varied lexical choices throughout the essay, such as "cutting-edge technology," "dystopia," "utilizes resources," and "mitigating the dangers." However, some repetition occurs, such as the repeated use of "advantage" and "concern," which slightly limits the breadth of vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "advantage," you could employ terms like "benefit," "asset," or "positive aspect." Similarly, instead of consistently using "concern," you might utilize words like "worry," "issue," or "challenge" to add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately to convey meaning, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "Al may cause many negative problems" could be more precisely expressed as "AI may lead to various adverse consequences." Additionally, "control the human species" could be refined to "dominate humanity," which is more precise and evocative.
- How to improve: To improve precision, strive for greater specificity and accuracy in word choice. Consider using terms that precisely convey your intended meaning and avoid vague or ambiguous language. You can achieve this by consulting a thesaurus for alternative words or by carefully considering the context in which each word is used.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates acceptable spelling accuracy, with only minor errors observed. However, there are a few misspelled words, such as "Al" instead of "AI" (artificial intelligence). Additionally, "Owing" should be spelled as "owing," and there is a missing article in "the age of AI."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your writing carefully before submission. Utilize spelling and grammar checking tools available in word processing software to identify and correct errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling patterns and practice regularly to improve spelling proficiency.

Overall, while the essay exhibits a commendable use of vocabulary with some room for improvement in precision and variety, attention to detail in spelling accuracy would further enhance the quality of the writing. Keep practicing and refining your language skills to achieve even greater proficiency in lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the sentence structures further to enhance the overall coherence and sophistication of the writing. For instance, while some sentences exhibit complexity, such as "From my perspective, I believe that there are many benefits to our lives when that happens," others are more straightforward and could benefit from additional complexity and depth.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, and appositive phrases. Additionally, strive for a balance between simple and complex sentences to maintain clarity while also showcasing linguistic versatility. For instance, instead of solely relying on basic sentence structures like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," experiment with introductory phrases like "Contrary to these concerns," or "Conversely," to introduce contrasting viewpoints with greater sophistication.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates proficient control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies that slightly detract from the overall clarity and precision of the writing. For example, the phrase "Al may cause many negative problems" could be revised to "AI may pose numerous negative consequences," to improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases, as seen in "For example, computers do not need to be paid, be fed, or be accommodated in housing."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review and revise sentences for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence structure coherence. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas, semicolons, and apostrophes, to ensure clarity and precision in conveying ideas. Utilize resources such as grammar guides and writing manuals to reinforce understanding and practice applying grammatical rules effectively. Furthermore, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify and address recurring grammatical and punctuation errors systematically.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, with the rapid advancement of technology, particularly in artificial intelligence (AI), many people express concerns about computers becoming more intelligent than humans. From my perspective, I believe that there are numerous benefits to our lives when this happens.

On the one hand, AI may engender numerous challenges, and there are valid reasons why people are worried about this development. Firstly, AI could potentially exert control over humanity. This dystopian scenario arises when AI achieves self-teaching capabilities and evolves into a supercomputer, making humans its servants. Another concern is that robots will supplant human labor. Due to their ability to work quickly and precisely, they can replace human workers. Consequently, widespread unemployment may ensue when this happens.

On the other hand, humans can benefit from computerization. Firstly, AI optimizes resource utilization more effectively than humans. They complete tasks faster, more efficiently, and with fewer demands than humans. For example, computers do not need to be paid, fed, or housed. As a result, using computers as labor will save on resources that can be allocated to human development. Secondly, computers enhance convenience for humans. In the age of AI, there is less physical labor and more accessible information available to people.

In conclusion, there are both positives and negatives to the development of computers that are as intelligent as humans. I believe that it is imperative to strike a balance and employ strategies to mitigate associated risks.