some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, company and society. discuss both views and give your opinion

As the world evolves, there are increasing numbers of jobs in the market. It is argued that people should have career switching. while some advocate this idea because of its benefits, the other think maintaining occupational stability has more advantages. This essay agrees with the perspective that pursuiting a single career path is more beneficial in long term.
When people persevere in a single career path, they will have their lifetime to immerse into that field. This enhancecs their skills, experiences to solve challanging problems at workplace and give them a deep understanding in their careers which can help them establish good reputation, not only in their company but also in their field they are working.
However, some people endorse job-hopping can broaden their knowledge and experiences in a wide range of industries by giving them opportunities to do actual jobs. It is understandable if this happens in the early stage of career path to find an ideal occupation. But frequent professional transitions is not advisable because it not only takes a lot of time and effort to adopt to new enviroment, learn new skills but also give the employer a negative impression about the commitment in long term.
In conclusion, while some people think it is more advantageous to have career switching, committing in a long-term position can bring more benefits such as having a deep understanding; therefore increasing potential income.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"As the world evolves, there are increasing numbers of jobs in the market." -> "As the world evolves, there is an increasing number of jobs available in the market."
Explanation: The original phrase "increasing numbers of jobs" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammatical error and uses "available" to specify the jobs are accessible, enhancing clarity and formality.
"people should have career switching" -> "individuals should engage in career switching"
Explanation: "Have career switching" is an awkward and unclear expression. "Engage in career switching" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing, clearly indicating the action of changing careers.
"the other think" -> "others think"
Explanation: "The other think" is grammatically incorrect. "Others think" is the correct form, making the sentence grammatically sound and more formal.
"pursuiting a single career path" -> "pursuing a single career path"
Explanation: "Pursuiting" is a misspelling. Correcting it to "pursuing" ensures accuracy and professionalism in the text.
"enhancecs" -> "enhances"
Explanation: "Enhancecs" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "enhances" fixes the spelling mistake, maintaining the formal tone of the essay.
"challanging" -> "challenging"
Explanation: "Challanging" is a misspelling. Correcting it to "challenging" corrects the spelling and maintains the formal tone.
"give them a deep understanding in their careers" -> "provide them with a deep understanding of their careers"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The revised version corrects the preposition and adds "of" to improve grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"not only in their company but also in their field they are working" -> "not only within their company but also within their field"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly phrased and lacks prepositions. The revision corrects these issues, improving the flow and formality of the sentence.
"job-hopping can broaden their knowledge and experiences" -> "job-hopping can broaden their knowledge and experience"
Explanation: "Experiences" should be singular to match the singular noun "knowledge," enhancing grammatical consistency.
"giving them opportunities to do actual jobs" -> "providing them with opportunities to gain practical experience"
Explanation: "Giving them opportunities to do actual jobs" is informal and vague. "Providing them with opportunities to gain practical experience" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"frequent professional transitions is not advisable" -> "frequent professional transitions are not advisable"
Explanation: "Is" should be "are" to agree with the plural subject "transitions," correcting the grammatical error.
"it not only takes a lot of time and effort to adopt to new enviroment" -> "it not only requires a significant amount of time and effort to adapt to new environments"
Explanation: "Adopt to" is grammatically incorrect and "enviroment" is misspelled. The revision corrects these errors and uses "requires" for a more formal tone.
"give the employer a negative impression about the commitment in long term" -> "give the employer a negative impression of the long-term commitment"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly phrased and grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects these issues, improving clarity and formality.
"committing in a long-term position" -> "committing to a long-term position"
Explanation: "Committing in" is grammatically incorrect. "Committing to" is the correct prepositional phrase, enhancing the grammatical accuracy and formality of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding job switching and stability. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of the advantages of job-hopping, which is essential given the prompt’s requirement to discuss both perspectives. The mention of job-hopping is brief and does not adequately present its benefits, leaving the reader with an incomplete understanding of the topic. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize both views before stating the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should include a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. This can be achieved by dedicating a paragraph to elaborating on the advantages of job-switching, such as increased adaptability, diverse skill acquisition, and networking opportunities. Furthermore, the conclusion should reiterate the main points from both sides before clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position favoring long-term career stability. However, the position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial statement suggests a balanced discussion, yet the subsequent paragraphs lean heavily towards the benefits of staying in one job. This inconsistency may confuse readers regarding the writer’s true stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph supports this viewpoint. Using transitional phrases to connect ideas and reiterate the main argument can help reinforce the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, particularly regarding the benefits of job stability. However, these ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported with examples. For instance, while it mentions gaining a deep understanding of a field, it does not provide specific examples or evidence to illustrate this point. The discussion on job-hopping is also underdeveloped, lacking concrete examples of how it can be beneficial.
- How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples and evidence to substantiate their claims. This could involve citing studies, personal anecdotes, or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate the advantages of both job stability and job-switching. Expanding on each point with detailed explanations will strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the discussion of job stability versus job switching. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the discussion of job-hopping, which could be more clearly linked back to the main argument. Phrases like "frequent professional transitions is not advisable" could be perceived as a deviation from the balanced discussion required by the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each argument to the advantages or disadvantages of job stability and job-switching. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader and keep the discussion relevant.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim for a more balanced discussion of both perspectives, maintain a clear and consistent position, develop and support ideas with specific examples, and ensure that all points stay closely related to the topic. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by expanding on ideas will also contribute to a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the writer’s opinion. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss both views, with the first paragraph focusing on the benefits of maintaining a single career path and the second addressing the advantages of job-hopping. However, the transition between these ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of stability to the counter-argument about job-hopping lacks a clear linking sentence, which can disrupt the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that clearly indicate a shift in perspective. For example, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a sentence like "On the other hand, proponents of job-hopping argue that…" would help clarify the contrast between the two viewpoints.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph has a main idea, and the writer attempts to support these ideas with explanations. However, the paragraphs could benefit from more development. For example, the first body paragraph introduces several benefits of a single career path but does not fully elaborate on how these benefits manifest in practical terms.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. Expanding on points made, such as providing specific examples of how long-term commitment can lead to career advancement, would strengthen the argument and enhance coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "but," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "this enhances their skills" could be better linked to the previous sentence with a cohesive device that indicates causation or consequence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "consequently," and "on the contrary." This will not only improve the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence in the argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion, improvements in logical organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "career switching," "occupational stability," and "job-hopping." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety, particularly in phrases describing the benefits of job stability. For example, the phrase "a single career path" is used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "career path," alternatives like "professional trajectory," "career journey," or "employment pathway" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "career mobility," "professional development," or "job security," would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "pursuiting a single career path" is incorrect; the correct form is "pursuing." Additionally, the term "endorse job-hopping" could be more effectively expressed as "advocate for job-hopping." The phrase "give the employer a negative impression about the commitment in long term" is also vague and could be articulated more clearly.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review and revise their word choices for accuracy. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find the correct forms of words and more suitable alternatives. Furthermore, practicing the use of collocations (e.g., "demonstrate commitment," "show dedication") can enhance clarity and precision in expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that affect readability and professionalism. For instance, "enhancecs" should be "enhances," "challanging" should be "challenging," "adopt" should be "adapt," and "enviroment" should be "environment." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the credibility of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could include reading the essay aloud to catch errors, using spell-check tools, or writing drafts and revising them after a break to gain a fresh perspective. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can help the writer focus on improving specific areas of weakness.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and improving spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource for future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For example, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "When people persevere in a single career path, they will have their lifetime to immerse into that field." However, the essay also contains several simple and compound sentences that could be more effectively varied. The use of conditional structures (e.g., "if this happens in the early stage of career path") is a positive aspect, but the overall range could be expanded further.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex and compound-complex sentences. For instance, combining ideas into a single sentence using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., "Although some people believe that job-hopping is beneficial, I argue that a stable career path offers greater long-term advantages") can create a more sophisticated flow. Additionally, using varied sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial clauses or phrases) can also contribute to a richer sentence structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "the other think maintaining occupational stability has more advantages" should be corrected to "the others think that maintaining occupational stability has more advantages." Additionally, the phrase "This enhancecs their skills, experiences to solve challanging problems at workplace" has subject-verb agreement issues and lacks parallel structure. The use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences or comma splices.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that all verbs are correctly conjugated (e.g., "enhances" instead of "enhancecs"). Additionally, practicing parallel structure in lists (e.g., "skills and experiences" instead of "skills, experiences") will enhance clarity. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules for using commas, especially in complex sentences, to avoid run-on sentences. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can also help identify and correct these issues.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, addressing the highlighted areas for improvement will enhance both the grammatical range and accuracy, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

As the world evolves, there is an increasing number of jobs available in the market. It is argued that individuals should engage in career switching, while others think that maintaining occupational stability has more advantages. This essay agrees with the perspective that pursuing a single career path is more beneficial in the long term.

When people commit to a single career path, they have the opportunity to immerse themselves in that field throughout their lifetime. This enhances their skills and experiences, enabling them to solve challenging problems in the workplace and providing them with a deep understanding of their careers. Such dedication can help them establish a good reputation, not only within their company but also within their field.

However, some people endorse the idea that job-hopping can broaden their knowledge and experience across a wide range of industries by providing them with opportunities to gain practical experience. It is understandable if this occurs in the early stages of a career to find an ideal occupation. Nevertheless, frequent professional transitions are not advisable, as they not only require a significant amount of time and effort to adapt to new environments and learn new skills but also give employers a negative impression of an individual’s long-term commitment.

In conclusion, while some people think it is more advantageous to engage in career switching, committing to a long-term position can bring more benefits, such as a deeper understanding of one’s field, ultimately leading to increased potential income.