fbpx

some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for next generation .To what extent do you agree or disagree

some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for next generation .To what extent do you agree or disagree

it has become increasingly common for protection the environment is a tongue nut a crack for the government . Some people insist that the government should focus on developing the economy more than the environment . However , I think the environment should be more concerned than other things .In this essay , i will explore various the aspect of these problem
No one can deny the fact that global warming are increasing faster during period years , and this is a significant challenge , so protecting the environment is necessary The government should limit private car in road or instead of ourncars by public transport or eco-friendly products like bicycle or electric car .The immediate result it produces is the environment will be reduced emission co2 , but private always utilize internal engine combustion so it will be emitted many co2 in road , Perhaps the most obvious result of that is fresh breath for people and it will be decreased many diseases .No could be more apparent than evidence that Denmark where is well-known about a social welfare and eco-friendly transports are using a lot of in road lead to rate of people suffer from disease is particular low.By contrast , electric is convenient but the cost of this is higher than others vehicles.Probably there is ome truth in the idea that creation methods to protect the environment
On other hand , one thing which is equally important is that perception of people is paramount if countries want to preserve the environment , which is responsible for government should encourage or propaganda of people should polish up knowledge and experience by campaign or severe in application of laws when residential. As a consequence people can be improved lifestyle of people .The most familiar example of this is many countries make use of campaign to statements protect environment especially , teenager always deteriorating stands of behaviors in protecting the environment.By contrast , the government should overexploit natural materials.
In conclusion , it is clear that there are various problems resulting from environmental degradation and steps necessary to tackle this problem . individuals should have perception about the environment for lifestyle.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "it has become increasingly common for protection the environment is a tongue nut a crack for the government." -> "It has become increasingly common for the government to prioritize environmental protection."
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and uses informal language. The suggested alternative provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.

  2. "Some people insist that the government should focus on developing the economy more than the environment." -> "Some individuals argue that the government should prioritize economic development over environmental concerns."
    Explanation: The improved version maintains the meaning while using more sophisticated vocabulary, adhering to a formal style.

  3. "However, I think the environment should be more concerned than other things." -> "However, I believe that environmental considerations should take precedence."
    Explanation: The original sentence is unclear and uses informal language. The suggested alternative clarifies the statement and presents the idea in a more formal manner.

  4. "In this essay, i will explore various the aspect of these problem." -> "In this essay, I will explore various aspects of this problem."
    Explanation: The correction fixes the grammatical error and ensures a proper expression of the intended meaning.

  5. "No one can deny the fact that global warming are increasing faster during period years." -> "No one can deny the fact that global warming is accelerating in recent years."
    Explanation: The original sentence contains a subject-verb agreement error. The suggested alternative corrects the error and improves the formality of the expression.

  6. "The government should limit private car in road or instead of ourncars by public transport or eco-friendly products like bicycle or electric car." -> "The government should restrict the use of private cars on the roads and promote public transport or eco-friendly alternatives such as bicycles and electric cars."
    Explanation: The improved version offers a more precise and formal expression of the idea, avoiding awkward phrasing.

  7. "The immediate result it produces is the environment will be reduced emission co2, but private always utilize internal engine combustion so it will be emitted many co2 in road." -> "The immediate result it produces is a reduction in CO2 emissions, but private cars often use internal combustion engines, leading to increased CO2 emissions on the roads."
    Explanation: The original sentence contains awkward phrasing and lacks clarity. The suggested alternative enhances clarity and uses more formal language.

  8. "Perhaps the most obvious result of that is fresh breath for people and it will be decreased many diseases." -> "Perhaps the most evident result is improved air quality, leading to a decrease in various diseases."
    Explanation: The improved version maintains the intended meaning while using more formal language and eliminating awkward expressions.

  9. "No could be more apparent than evidence that Denmark where is well-known about a social welfare and eco-friendly transports are using a lot of in road lead to rate of people suffer from disease is particular low." -> "Nothing illustrates this better than the evidence from Denmark, a country renowned for its social welfare and extensive use of eco-friendly transportation on its roads, resulting in a particularly low incidence of diseases among its population."
    Explanation: The suggested alternative improves clarity, eliminates awkward phrasing, and enhances the formality of expression.

  10. "By contrast, electric is convenient but the cost of this is higher than others vehicles." -> "In contrast, electric vehicles are convenient, but their cost is higher than that of other vehicles."
    Explanation: The improved version corrects grammar and offers a more formal expression of the idea.

  11. "Probably there is ome truth in the idea that creation methods to protect the environment." -> "There is likely some truth in the notion that innovative methods are needed to protect the environment."
    Explanation: The corrected version addresses a typographical error and presents the idea in a more formal manner.

  12. "On other hand, one thing which is equally important is that perception of people is paramount if countries want to preserve the environment." -> "On the other hand, equally important is the perception of people, which is paramount if countries want to preserve the environment."
    Explanation: The improved version corrects the phrasing and maintains a formal tone.

  13. "which is responsible for government should encourage or propaganda of people should polish up knowledge and experience by campaign or severe in application of laws when residential." -> "This responsibility implies that the government should encourage public awareness and education, possibly through campaigns or strict law enforcement in residential areas."
    Explanation: The original sentence contains unclear and informal language. The suggested alternative improves clarity and formality.

  14. "As a consequence people can be improved lifestyle of people." -> "Consequently, people can enhance their lifestyles."
    Explanation: The corrected version improves grammar and clarity while maintaining formality.

  15. "teenager always deteriorating stands of behaviors in protecting the environment." -> "Teenagers often exhibit declining standards of behavior in terms of environmental protection."
    Explanation: The improved version addresses grammar issues and offers a more formal expression of the idea.

  16. "By contrast, the government should overexploit natural materials." -> "In contrast, the government should avoid overexploiting natural resources."
    Explanation: The suggested alternative corrects the misuse of "overexploit" and provides a more precise expression of the idea.

  17. "In conclusion, it is clear that there are various problems resulting from environmental degradation and steps necessary to tackle this problem." -> "In conclusion, it is evident that various issues arise from environmental degradation, and measures are necessary to address this problem."
    Explanation: The improved version enhances formality and clarity while maintaining the intended meaning.

  18. "individuals should have perception about the environment for lifestyle." -> "Individuals should cultivate an awareness of the environment as an integral part of their lifestyle."
    Explanation: The corrected version improves grammar, clarity, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of environmental protection, the role of the government, and the perception of people. However, it could provide a more explicit stance on whether the current generation should take steps to protect the environment, and this could be clarified in the introduction.
    • How to improve: Begin the introduction with a clear thesis statement explicitly stating whether you agree or disagree with the idea that the current generation should take steps to protect the environment.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position throughout, emphasizing the importance of protecting the environment. However, the introduction could more explicitly state the writer’s stance.
    • How to improve: Clearly state your position in the introduction, and ensure that each paragraph reinforces and elaborates on this position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to the environment, such as the need to limit private cars and the importance of people’s perception. However, some ideas lack detailed development, and examples could be more specific.
    • How to improve: Elaborate on each idea with specific examples, statistics, or relevant details. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a more convincing case.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but has moments of ambiguity, such as the discussion on electric cars and the mention of overexploiting natural materials. Some ideas seem slightly disconnected from the main theme.
    • How to improve: Ensure that every paragraph and idea directly contributes to the central theme of environmental protection. Avoid introducing tangential or loosely related topics.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the prompt and presents coherent ideas, there is room for improvement in refining the thesis statement, providing more specific examples, and maintaining a tighter focus on the central theme throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. There is an attempt to introduce the topic in the first paragraph, followed by a discussion of the importance of protecting the environment. However, the flow is somewhat disrupted by the abrupt transitions between ideas and the lack of a clear structure. For example, the shift from discussing global warming to the suggestion of limiting private cars is not seamless.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider implementing a clear and coherent structure. Start with a strong introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader. Ensure a smooth transition between ideas, and maintain a clear progression of thought throughout the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but the structure within paragraphs is inconsistent. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear separation, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument. Effective paragraphing is crucial for conveying ideas logically and coherently.
    • How to improve: Focus on creating well-structured paragraphs with a clear main idea. Each paragraph should address a specific aspect of the argument, and ideas within the paragraph should be logically connected. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main point. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks diversity in cohesive devices. While some attempts are made to connect ideas using words like "however" and "in conclusion," there is limited use of a variety of cohesive devices. This affects the overall coherence of the essay, making it less fluid.
    • How to improve: Work on incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases such as "furthermore," "moreover," and "on the other hand" to strengthen the connections between ideas. This will contribute to a more cohesive and well-connected essay.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents some relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in terms of logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. Implementing these improvements will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay, leading to a more effective and reader-friendly piece.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of vocabulary. While some words and phrases contribute to the overall coherence, there is room for improvement. For instance, there is repetition of certain terms such as "environment," "government," and "people." A more diverse vocabulary would enhance the essay’s lexical richness.
    • How to improve: Introduce synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition. For example, instead of consistently using "environment," consider incorporating alternatives like "ecosystem," "natural surroundings," or "habitat." This will elevate the lexical variety and demonstrate a deeper grasp of vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay at times employs imprecise language, impacting the overall precision of the message. For instance, the phrase "tongue nut a crack" is unclear and seems to be a typographical error. Additionally, the expression "eco-friendly products like bicycle or electric car" could be refined for specificity, as bicycles are not typically considered eco-friendly in the same context as electric cars.
    • How to improve: Be meticulous in choosing words. Proofread the essay to eliminate typos or unclear phrases. Specify examples to enhance precision; for instance, instead of a general reference to "eco-friendly products," explicitly mention electric cars, bicycles, or other environmentally friendly alternatives.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ourncars" instead of "our cars," and "overexploit" instead of "overuse." These errors can affect the reader’s understanding and perception of the essay’s quality.
    • How to improve: Prioritize proofreading to identify and correct spelling errors. Consider using spelling and grammar-check tools to enhance accuracy. Familiarize yourself with common spelling pitfalls and practice writing to reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, improvements can be made in diversifying word choice, refining precision, and addressing spelling errors. Attention to these aspects will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished expression of ideas, potentially raising the lexical resource band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a limited range of sentence structures, primarily relying on simple and compound sentences. There is a lack of complex structures such as compound-complex sentences or varied clause structures. For instance, in the sentence "No one can deny the fact that global warming are increasing faster during period years," a more complex structure could enhance the essay’s overall quality and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating complex sentences, utilizing subordinating conjunctions and relative clauses. Additionally, experiment with sentence length to create a more dynamic and engaging prose.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, in the sentence "it has become increasingly common for protection the environment is a tongue nut a crack for the government," there is a lack of subject-verb agreement, and the phrase "tongue nut a crack" appears to be a miscommunication or typographical error. Additionally, there are instances of incorrect article usage and word choice throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: Carefully proofread for grammatical errors, paying attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word choice. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-check tools to enhance accuracy. Additionally, ensure clarity in expression to avoid confusion or ambiguity in the reader’s understanding.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents some relevant ideas, improvements in sentence structure variety and grammatical accuracy are necessary to elevate the writing to a higher band score. Incorporating complex structures and refining grammar and punctuation skills will contribute significantly to the overall coherence and quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

It has become increasingly common for the government to prioritize environmental protection. Some individuals argue that the government should prioritize economic development over environmental concerns. However, I believe that environmental considerations should take precedence. In this essay, I will explore various aspects of this problem.

No one can deny the fact that global warming is accelerating in recent years, presenting a significant challenge. Therefore, protecting the environment is necessary. The government should limit private cars on the roads and promote public transport or eco-friendly alternatives such as bicycles and electric cars. The immediate result is a reduction in CO2 emissions. However, private cars often use internal combustion engines, leading to increased CO2 emissions on the roads.

Perhaps the most evident result is improved air quality, leading to a decrease in various diseases. Nothing illustrates this better than the evidence from Denmark, a country renowned for its social welfare and extensive use of eco-friendly transportation on its roads, resulting in a particularly low incidence of diseases among its population.

In contrast, electric vehicles are convenient, but their cost is higher than that of other vehicles. There is likely some truth in the notion that innovative methods are needed to protect the environment.

On the other hand, equally important is the perception of people, which is paramount if countries want to preserve the environment. This responsibility implies that the government should encourage public awareness and education, possibly through campaigns or strict law enforcement in residential areas. Consequently, people can enhance their lifestyles.

Teenagers often exhibit declining standards of behavior in terms of environmental protection. In contrast, the government should avoid overexploiting natural resources.

In conclusion, it is evident that various issues arise from environmental degradation, and measures are necessary to address this problem. Individuals should cultivate an awareness of the environment as an integral part of their lifestyle.

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT