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Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is proposed that online courses are being replaced as classes distribution on campus by some universities. From my perspective, while this proposal can have advantageous outcomes, it also brings downside on learners and curriculums.

Granted, it is true that online courses can offer benefits for students. The key rationale behind this is that it is flexible for learners in terms of scheduling. By allowing students to learn at their own such as at their home, office and on the bus, which in turn offer access easily and conveniently to their courses. Furthermore, online courses help students save on commuting and housing expenses, while universities can reduce infrastructure costs associated with maintaining a physical classroom.

Nevertheless, online courses are also restrictive in terms of lesson content and learners. As the former, if academics require practice such as Physics, Chemistry and Biology which involve experiment to acquire hands-on experience, online courses can possibly lead to disadvantages for learners to access experiment in-person. For this reason, offering online courses is more likely to discourage students from studying. Regarding the latter, distance learning courses require students to be independent and have intense self-awareness. If students did not raise awareness, this could cause a procrastination attitude given that it is difficult for learners to complete the curriculum that is set and learning outcomes do not meet the needs of society.

In conclusion, whether the shift towards online courses is viewed as positive or negative depends on the specific context, the goals of education, and individual preferences. While the proposal of offering online courses to flexibility and saving, it is also constrained to curriculum and learners.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "are being replaced as classes distribution on campus" -> "are replacing traditional on-campus classes"
    Explanation: Replacing the awkward phrasing with a clearer expression improves the sentence’s readability and adheres to a more formal style.

  2. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: Substituting the informal "From my perspective" with "In my view" maintains a more formal tone, suitable for academic writing.

  3. "it also brings downside on learners and curriculums" -> "it also poses challenges for learners and curricula"
    Explanation: The phrase "brings downside on" is informal; replacing it with "poses challenges for" adds formality without sacrificing clarity.

  4. "Granted, it is true that" -> "Admittedly, it is true that"
    Explanation: The transition "Granted" is slightly informal; using "Admittedly" enhances the formality of the sentence.

  5. "it is flexible for learners in terms of scheduling" -> "it provides flexibility for learners in terms of scheduling"
    Explanation: Adding the verb "provides" improves the sentence’s structure and maintains a more academic tone.

  6. "By allowing students to learn at their own such as at their home" -> "By enabling students to learn independently, for instance, at home"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence and replacing "at their own" with "independently" enhances clarity and formality.

  7. "Furthermore, online courses help students save on commuting and housing expenses" -> "Moreover, online courses enable students to reduce commuting and housing expenses"
    Explanation: Substituting "help" with "enable" and rephrasing the sentence for conciseness and formality.

  8. "distance learning courses require students to be independent and have intense self-awareness" -> "distance learning courses demand students to be independent and possess heightened self-awareness"
    Explanation: Using "demand" instead of "require" and choosing more sophisticated language enhances the formal tone.

  9. "raise awareness" -> "cultivate awareness"
    Explanation: The phrase "raise awareness" is commonly associated with social or environmental issues; replacing it with "cultivate awareness" is more fitting in the context of academic requirements.

  10. "it is difficult for learners to complete the curriculum that is set" -> "students may find it challenging to fulfill the prescribed curriculum"
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains formality while providing a more nuanced expression for the difficulty students may encounter.

  11. "learning outcomes do not meet the needs of society" -> "learning outcomes may not align with societal needs"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and substituting "meet" with "align with" improves the precision and formality of the statement.

  12. "whether the shift towards online courses is viewed as positive or negative depends on the specific context" -> "the perception of the shift to online courses as positive or negative depends on the specific context"
    Explanation: Expanding the sentence slightly improves its formality and clarity without sacrificing simplicity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the shift towards online courses. The introduction provides a clear indication of the essay’s direction, and each paragraph contributes to the exploration of various dimensions of the topic.
    • How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support the points made. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph is explicitly linked to addressing a specific aspect of the question.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of online courses. However, there are instances where the language could be more explicit in signaling the author’s position, especially in the conclusion.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the thesis statement in the introduction to clearly convey the author’s standpoint. In the conclusion, reiterate the position and summarize key points to reinforce the overall stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, providing examples to support both positive and negative aspects. However, some ideas could be further extended or elaborated to enhance depth and clarity.
    • How to improve: Develop each idea more fully by providing additional details, examples, or explanations. This will help in demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen the overall argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the advantages and disadvantages of online courses. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, such as in the discussion of curriculum and learners in the last paragraph.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph maintains a strong connection to the main topic of online courses. Avoid introducing tangential ideas that might distract from the central argument.

In summary, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples, reinforcing the author’s stance, developing ideas more fully, and maintaining a consistently focused discussion. These refinements can contribute to a more nuanced and compelling response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a logical organization of information. The introduction presents a clear stance, and each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. However, there are instances where ideas could be better connected for a smoother flow. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of online courses to the drawbacks could be more seamless.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to guide readers through shifts in ideas. For instance, using words like "Furthermore" or "However" can help signal changes in perspective and maintain coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second paragraph could benefit from further development to fully explore the advantages of online courses.
    • How to improve: Expand on the advantages of online courses in the second paragraph by providing specific examples or elaborating on the flexibility and convenience mentioned. This will add depth to the argument and maintain a balanced structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices adequately to connect ideas within sentences. For example, phrases like "Granted" and "Nevertheless" help signal shifts in focus. However, there is room for improvement in the use of cohesive devices between paragraphs to create a more seamless connection between ideas.
    • How to improve: Incorporate transitional phrases at the beginning or end of paragraphs to reinforce the relationship between ideas. For instance, using phrases like "In addition" or "On the contrary" can enhance coherence and guide readers through the essay more smoothly.

Overall Feedback: The essay exhibits a solid organizational structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, focus on refining transitions between ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph is fully developed to provide a comprehensive exploration of the presented arguments. Strengthening the use of cohesive devices will contribute to a more cohesive and polished essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and expressions, such as "advantageous outcomes," "raise awareness," and "intense self-awareness." However, the essay lacks consistency in employing a wide range of vocabulary throughout. Some repetitive phrases and a limited set of words are noticeable.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, strive for more diversity in word choice. Consider using synonyms and explore different expressions to convey ideas. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "courses," experiment with alternatives like "educational programs," "instructional modules," or "academic offerings."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary precisely, but there are instances of imprecise or awkward phrasing. For example, the phrase "it is flexible for learners in terms of scheduling" could be refined for better precision. Additionally, terms like "advantageous outcomes" and "downside on learners" are somewhat vague.
    • How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in vocabulary usage. Instead of broad terms, opt for more specific language. For instance, specify the "advantageous outcomes" and elaborate on the "downside on learners" to provide a clearer picture. Review the essay for instances where precise words or expressions could replace more general terms.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "distribution" instead of "delivered," "curriculums" instead of "curricula," and "in-person" lacking a hyphen. These errors impact the overall spelling accuracy.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to spelling, especially for words with common errors or those prone to confusion. Utilize spelling and grammar tools during the proofreading process. Additionally, consider enhancing awareness of common spelling rules and exceptions to minimize errors. Regularly practicing writing and proofreading can contribute to improved spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and compound sentences predominate, with limited use of complex structures. For instance, in the opening paragraph, there is a mix of simple and compound sentences, but the complexity could be enhanced by incorporating more intricate structures, such as complex or compound-complex sentences.
    • How to improve: To elevate the grammatical range, consider integrating a variety of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences to convey nuanced ideas and improve overall coherence. For instance, in the second paragraph, where the benefits of online courses are discussed, include a complex sentence to elaborate on the advantages in greater detail.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are instances of errors. In the first sentence, there is a confusion in the phrase "are being replaced as classes distribution," which could be clarified for better comprehension. Additionally, there are occasional issues with subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure clear expression of ideas. In the first paragraph, rephrase the sentence for clarity, perhaps by stating, "It is proposed that some universities are replacing on-campus classes with online courses." Additionally, revise sentences for smoother flow and clarity, addressing instances of awkward phrasing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a competent command of grammar and sentence structures, contributing to a solid Band Score of 7. Improvements in sentence variety and minor grammatical adjustments would further elevate the essay’s overall coherence and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is suggested that some universities are replacing traditional on-campus classes with online courses. In my view, while this shift can have positive outcomes, it also poses challenges for learners and curricula.

Admittedly, it is true that online courses provide flexibility for learners in terms of scheduling. By enabling students to learn independently, for instance, at home, in the office, or on the bus, they gain easy and convenient access to their courses. Moreover, online courses enable students to reduce commuting and housing expenses, while universities can decrease infrastructure costs associated with maintaining physical classrooms.

However, online courses have limitations in terms of lesson content and the independence required from learners. Concerning the former, if academic subjects like Physics, Chemistry, and Biology involve hands-on experiments for practical experience, online courses may disadvantage learners who cannot access in-person experiments. This situation could discourage students from studying. Regarding the latter, distance learning courses demand students to be independent and possess heightened self-awareness. Without cultivating awareness, students may find it challenging to fulfill the prescribed curriculum, leading to a procrastination attitude. This, in turn, results in learning outcomes that may not align with societal needs.

In conclusion, the perception of the shift to online courses as positive or negative depends on the specific context, the goals of education, and individual preferences. While the proposal of offering online courses provides flexibility and cost savings, it also poses constraints on curriculum and learners.

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