Successful companies use advertising to make more sales. What can make an advertisement effective? Do you think advertising is a bad thing or a good thing for society?

Nowadays, there is an increasing number of advertisements appearing on the Internet as well as social media platforms to promote products and boost enhance a company’s revenue. A successful advertisement is created by various factors. Advertisement, in my point of view, has both positive and negative aspects. Throughout this essay, I will discuss both views and explain them it in detail.

To commence, there are two primary elements behind the success of advertising advertisement. The first element contributing to the effectiveness of advertisement is understanding customer’s insights. According to the reports of reputable organizations, billions of dollars per year have been invested just to figure out the answer to a simple question: “What are the customer's needs?” A prime example of this is the two great forces in the fast-moving consumer goods sector: P&G and Unilever. Their annual marketing budgets range from 7-10 billion dollars, and 30-40% of that is for researching customer’s psychology. Hence, the importance of understanding the consumer's insight is undisputed. Moreover, and perhaps more significantly, determining the success of advertisement, is the product itself. No matter how much money and marketing efforts have been invested in advertising and researching customer insights customer’s insights, as mentioned above, if the product itself has no unique selling point as well as tackle the consumer’s issues thoroughly, it will be less likely to be received by people. For instance, the withdrawal of Baemin from in the Vietnamese market recently has proven this problem. They have an elite marketing team, who stand behind many viral campaigns like Ngot, Baby; and they have also invested a huge amount of money like P&G and Unilever in customer’s psychology. Ironically, Baemin had to withdraw from Vietnam because of a seemingly simple problem: their product did not suit the tastes of Vietnamese people.

According to my personal view, like a coin always has two sides, there are also merits and drawbacks of advertisement. In terms of positive aspects, advertisement, or marketing in general, is an effective way for companies to approach their potential customers. Based on that, entrepreneurs they can grow their business and enhance their revenue, significantly stimulate consumerism and help foster economic development. In fact, the prevailing industries like tourism, transport and logistics, which always account for a huge part of the GDP structure of countries, the vast majority use advertising as a bridge to their customers. Advertising, moreover, widens the career prospects and enhances the quality of life for many people around the world. It is not surprising natural that the Marketing industry is always one of the top majors and pursued by many students in universities recently. However, there is a certain limitation associated with advertisement, which is that many companies take advantage of advertisement to distribute low-quality products to the market. They exaggerate the product’s functionality and try to sell it to the consumers at an exorbitant price. Consequently, the belief of customers deteriorates gradually and more severely, the image of genuine advertisers is also worsened. Thus, the regulations in advertising and marketing play a crucial role here to prevent these companies from distributing such bad products.

In conclusion, the effectiveness of advertisement is determined by two primary reasons, understanding the customer's insight and the product itself. According to my personal view, advertising undeniably plays a pivotal role in enhancing a company's revenue as well as widening career prospects for many individuals around the world. While it brings numerous benefits, it cannot be overlooked that it sometimes encounters negative impacts, especially when companies portray inaccurate images of products. Nevertheless, with careful consideration and intelligent management, advertising can become a powerful tool supporting economic development and consumer education. Therefore, depending on how we use and regulate it, advertising can be either a positive or negative factor for society.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"boost enhance" -> "enhance"
Explanation: The phrase "boost enhance" is redundant. Using "enhance" alone conveys the idea of improving and promoting a company’s revenue effectively.
"explain them it in detail" -> "explain them in detail"
Explanation: The phrase "explain them it in detail" contains unnecessary use of "it." Removing "it" results in a more concise and grammatically correct expression.
"To commence" -> "To begin"
Explanation: "To commence" is a more formal term, but "To begin" is equally appropriate and maintains a formal tone while being more straightforward.
"advertising advertisement" -> "advertising"
Explanation: The repetition of "advertisement" is redundant. Using "advertising" alone suffices to convey the intended meaning.
"customer’s insights" -> "customers’ insights"
Explanation: The possessive form should be plural, indicating insights belonging to multiple customers. The correct form is "customers’ insights."
"according to the reports of reputable organizations" -> "according to reports from reputable organizations"
Explanation: The phrase "according to the reports of reputable organizations" can be streamlined to "according to reports from reputable organizations" for a more concise expression.
"have been invested just to figure out" -> "have been invested to determine"
Explanation: The phrase "just to figure out" can be replaced with "to determine" for a more formal and direct statement.
"30-40%" -> "30% to 40%"
Explanation: Using the range format "30% to 40%" is more conventional in formal writing.
"as well as tackle" -> "and address"
Explanation: Replacing "as well as tackle" with "and address" provides a more precise and formal expression.
"in the Vietnamese market recently" -> "from the Vietnamese market recently"
Explanation: Using "in the Vietnamese market recently" could imply that Baemin is still active in the market. Changing it to "from the Vietnamese market recently" clarifies that they withdrew.
"had to withdraw" -> "withdrew"
Explanation: Simplifying "had to withdraw" to "withdrew" maintains clarity while eliminating unnecessary words.
"like a coin always has two sides" -> "like a coin, has two sides"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "like a coin" improves the sentence’s structure.
"entrepreneurs they can grow" -> "entrepreneurs can grow"
Explanation: Removing the unnecessary "they" results in a grammatically correct and more concise statement.
"Not surprising natural" -> "Not surprisingly, it is natural"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase to "Not surprisingly, it is natural" enhances clarity and formalizes the expression.
"many students in universities recently" -> "many students in universities recently"
Explanation: Removing "in" from "many students in universities recently" improves the sentence’s grammatical structure.
"certain limitation" -> "a certain limitation"
Explanation: Adding the article "a" before "certain limitation" is grammatically correct.
"advertisement" -> "advertising"
Explanation: In the sentence, "the regulations in advertising and marketing," replacing "advertisement" with "advertising" ensures consistency with the terminology used earlier in the essay.
"severely, the image" -> "severely; the image"
Explanation: Replacing the comma with a semicolon improves punctuation and maintains appropriate sentence structure.
"be either a positive or negative factor" -> "either have a positive or negative impact"
Explanation: The phrase "be either a positive or negative factor" is a bit awkward. Replacing it with "either have a positive or negative impact" provides a more formal and precise expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does address both aspects of the prompt—what makes an advertisement effective and the opinion on whether advertising is good or bad for society. The introduction sets the stage for discussing the effectiveness of advertisements, and the body paragraphs delve into the positive and negative aspects.
- How to improve: While the essay provides a comprehensive response, it could benefit from a more focused introduction explicitly outlining the two aspects of the prompt to enhance clarity.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, presenting both positive and negative aspects of advertising. The writer’s stance is evident, especially in the conclusion where a balanced view is presented.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the writer could explicitly state their position in the introduction, ensuring that readers understand the perspective from the outset.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas coherently, with well-developed examples and arguments. The use of examples, such as P&G and Unilever, adds depth to the discussion.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the essay, consider providing more varied examples and possibly exploring the potential counterarguments to make the analysis more nuanced.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the effectiveness of advertising and its impact on society. However, there are moments, such as the detailed example of Baemin, where the focus shifts slightly to the specific case rather than the broader topic.
- How to improve: While examples are valuable, ensure they are directly tied to the broader points about advertising. Use them to illustrate, not distract from, the main arguments.

Overall, the essay provides a well-structured response to the prompt. To improve, focus on refining the introduction for better clarity, consider incorporating more varied examples, and ensure that all details provided are directly relevant to the main arguments. Additionally, explicitly stating the writer’s position in the introduction will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically. It starts with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs that discuss the positive and negative aspects of advertising, and concludes with a well-summarized conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear focus on one main idea.
- How to improve: While the overall structure is sound, there’s room to enhance the logical flow within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear topic sentence and maintains a coherent progression of ideas. For example, in the first body paragraph, the connection between understanding customer insights and the success of advertising could be more explicitly stated.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph is devoted to a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to a clear and organized structure.
- How to improve: Consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother and more seamless flow. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and supporting details that directly relate to that idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, including transitional phrases (e.g., "To commence," "Moreover," "In conclusion") and pronouns (e.g., "it," "they"). These devices contribute to a coherent and connected presentation of ideas.
- How to improve: While cohesive devices are used, there is room to diversify and strengthen their application. Consider incorporating a broader range of linking words and phrases to enhance the overall flow. Additionally, ensure that pronoun references are consistently clear to avoid any potential confusion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion. To further improve, focus on refining the logical progression within paragraphs, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices for a more polished and connected presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While it includes words and phrases appropriate for the topic, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further. For instance, the repetition of certain terms such as "customer’s insight" could be minimized by introducing synonyms or alternative expressions.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of vocabulary, consider exploring synonyms and alternative expressions. For instance, instead of consistently using "customer’s insight," you could incorporate terms like "consumer perspective," "client understanding," or "market perception." This not only prevents redundancy but also showcases a broader lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary precisely, especially when discussing specific concepts like advertising’s impact on economic development. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "to boost enhance a company’s revenue" is somewhat redundant, and the word "boost" may suffice on its own.
- How to improve: Aim for more concise and precise language. In this case, consider using either "boost" or "enhance" to convey the idea more succinctly. Additionally, be mindful of word choices to ensure that each term adds specific value to the sentence without unnecessary repetition.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay. However, there are a few minor errors, such as "boost enhance" (which could be corrected to "boost or enhance") and "them it in detail" (which could be revised to "it in detail").
- How to improve: Continue to pay attention to minor errors in spelling and proofread the essay thoroughly before submission. Utilize spell-check tools and consider seeking feedback from others to catch any overlooked mistakes. Additionally, when revising, focus on improving the clarity of expressions to eliminate potential confusion.

Overall, while the essay exhibits a satisfactory level of lexical resource, incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and refining precision in word choice will contribute to further enhancing the lexical quality. Additionally, diligent proofreading can help eliminate minor spelling errors and improve the overall professionalism of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. The writer effectively employs complex sentences, such as those involving conditional clauses, and simple sentences for clarity. This variety contributes to the overall coherence of the essay, making it engaging and well-structured. However, there is room for improvement in the use of more sophisticated sentence structures, such as inversion or parallelism, to enhance the overall richness of the language.
- How to improve: Consider incorporating advanced sentence structures, like inversion or parallelism, to elevate the complexity and sophistication of the writing. For example, experiment with sentence beginnings and structures to add stylistic flair without compromising clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates strong grammatical control with only minor errors. Correct subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage are observed. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor punctuation errors that slightly affect the flow of the essay. For instance, in the sentence "To commence, there are two primary elements behind the success of advertising advertisement," the redundancy in the phrase "advertising advertisement" is noticeable.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to phrasing to avoid redundancy and ensure that sentences flow smoothly. Additionally, be cautious with punctuation, ensuring consistent and correct usage. Consider revising sentences where phrasing may feel awkward to enhance overall readability.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and a good variety of sentence structures. To further improve, focus on incorporating more advanced sentence structures and refining phrasing to enhance the overall fluency and sophistication of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the present era, a growing number of advertisements populate the Internet and various social media platforms, aiming to promote products and augment a company’s revenue. Creating a successful advertisement involves several factors, and, in my opinion, advertising has both positive and negative aspects. In this essay, I will discuss these views and explain them in detail.

To begin, two primary elements contribute to the success of advertising. The first crucial factor is understanding customers’ insights. Reports from reputable organizations indicate that billions of dollars are annually invested in answering a fundamental question: “What are the customers’ needs?” Notably, major players in the fast-moving consumer goods sector, such as P&G and Unilever, allocate 30-40% of their substantial marketing budgets to researching customer psychology. The importance of comprehending consumer insights cannot be overstated. Equally important in determining advertising success is the quality of the product itself. Regardless of the hefty investments in advertising and customer insights, if the product lacks a unique selling point or fails to address consumer issues thoroughly, its acceptance by the audience diminishes. Baemin’s recent withdrawal from the Vietnamese market exemplifies this issue, despite their elite marketing team and substantial investments in understanding customer psychology, their product did not align with Vietnamese tastes.

In my personal view, akin to a coin having two sides, advertising has both merits and drawbacks. On the positive side, advertising, and marketing in general, serve as effective means for companies to reach potential customers. Entrepreneurs can grow their businesses, enhance revenue, stimulate consumerism, and contribute to economic development significantly. Industries like tourism and transport heavily rely on advertising to connect with their customers. Furthermore, advertising expands career prospects and improves the quality of life for many individuals globally. It is not surprising that the Marketing industry remains a popular choice among university students. However, there is a certain limitation associated with advertising – some companies misuse it to distribute low-quality products, exaggerating functionality and selling them at exorbitant prices. This not only erodes customer trust but also tarnishes the image of genuine advertisers. Stringent regulations in advertising and marketing are crucial to prevent such practices.

In conclusion, the effectiveness of advertising hinges on two primary factors: understanding customer insights and the quality of the product. In my perspective, advertising plays an undeniable role in enhancing a company’s revenue and offering diverse career prospects. While it brings numerous benefits, it is essential to acknowledge its potential negative impacts, especially when companies misrepresent product features. With careful consideration and intelligent management, advertising can be a powerful tool supporting economic development and consumer education. Therefore, depending on how we use and regulate it, advertising can be either a positive or negative force for society.