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(Table) The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

(Table) The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided table tracks the progression of international travel from 1990 to 2005, with figures in millions. There is a clear upward trajectory in travel numbers globally, with the total count escalating from 448.9 million in 1990 to 693.7 million in 2005. This represents a substantial 54% increase over the 15-year period.

Europe is the standout region, consistently attracting the most travelers, witnessing a growth of approximately 43% from 280.2 million to 400.3 million. This signifies Europe's enduring appeal as a prime travel destination. Asia and the Pacific regions also saw an impressive surge, with figures more than doubling from 60.2 million to 135.8 million, highlighting the regions' expanding influence and appeal in the international tourism sector.

Conversely, the Middle East, while still showing growth, had the least increase, from 9.8 million to 15.8 million, indicating a more gradual rise in its travel industry. Africa and America experienced moderate growth, but their rate of increase was not as pronounced as that of Europe or Asia and the Pacific.

Overall, the data reflect a robust expansion in the travel industry, with marked regional variances. Europe's dominance in attracting international travelers is clear, but the rapid rise of Asia and the Pacific suggests a shift towards these regions becoming key players in international tourism. The steady increase across all regions suggests a global economic development that allows more people to engage in international travel.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "There is a clear upward trajectory" -> "Evidently, there is a pronounced upward trend"
    Explanation: Replacing "There is a clear upward trajectory" with "Evidently, there is a pronounced upward trend" adds more sophistication to the description of the trend, making it sound more formal and precise.

  2. "escalating from 448.9 million" -> "rising from 448.9 million"
    Explanation: "Rising" is a more concise and appropriate term to describe an increase in numbers, providing a smoother flow to the sentence.

  3. "substantial 54% increase" -> "significant 54% upsurge"
    Explanation: "Upsurge" is a more advanced synonym for "increase" and adds variety to the vocabulary. It also sounds more formal in this context.

  4. "standout region" -> "prominent region"
    Explanation: "Prominent" is a more advanced term that conveys the idea of significance and importance effectively.

  5. "witnessing a growth of approximately 43%" -> "experiencing an approximate 43% growth"
    Explanation: The use of "experiencing" is a more advanced way to describe the observed growth, and it maintains a formal tone.

  6. "signifies Europe’s enduring appeal" -> "indicates Europe’s enduring allure"
    Explanation: "Allure" is a more sophisticated term for attraction and adds elegance to the sentence.

  7. "surge" -> "surge in numbers"
    Explanation: Adding "in numbers" clarifies that the surge refers to the increase in traveler figures, making the sentence more precise.

  8. "indicating a more gradual rise" -> "suggesting a more gradual ascent"
    Explanation: "Ascent" is a more advanced word choice that fits well in the context of describing the rise in the Middle East’s travel industry.

  9. "experienced moderate growth" -> "witnessed moderate expansion"
    Explanation: "Expansion" is a more formal term that can be used to describe growth, making the sentence sound more sophisticated.

  10. "robust expansion" -> "robust growth"
    Explanation: While "expansion" is not incorrect, "growth" is a more common term used in this context and maintains clarity.

  11. "marked regional variances" -> "significant regional disparities"
    Explanation: "Disparities" is a more advanced term to describe differences, emphasizing the variations between regions.

  12. "key players" -> "prominent contenders"
    Explanation: "Contenders" adds a more competitive and sophisticated tone to the sentence, emphasizing the importance of these regions in international tourism.

  13. "global economic development" -> "global economic advancement"
    Explanation: "Advancement" is a more formal synonym for development, enhancing the sentence’s formality and precision.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The provided essay demonstrates several strengths that align with the Band 8 descriptor for Task Achievement in IELTS writing.

  1. Coverage of Requirements: The essay adequately covers all the requirements of the task. It provides a clear summary of the main features and makes relevant comparisons between the years 1990 and 2005.

  2. Presentation of Key Features: The essay presents, highlights, and illustrates key features and bullet points clearly and appropriately. It identifies the total numbers for international travel in 1990 and 2005, as well as the growth percentage, and provides regional breakdowns.

  3. Clarity and Development: The essay is well-structured and logically organized. It offers a clear overview of the main trends in international travel and effectively develops each point. The language used is precise, and the information is presented in a coherent manner.

  4. Relevance: The essay maintains a high level of relevance throughout. It does not include irrelevant information, and the details provided are accurate and appropriate for the task.

How to improve:
To further enhance this essay and potentially achieve a Band 9, consider the following suggestions:

  1. Depth of Analysis: While the essay provides a solid overview and key figures, you can aim for a more in-depth analysis of the data. Explore potential reasons behind the trends or offer insights into the implications of the numbers presented.

  2. Vocabulary and Variety: Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and more sophisticated language to showcase your language skills. This can help elevate your essay to a higher band score.

  3. Sentence Complexity: Introduce more complex sentence structures to add variety and sophistication to your writing. Ensure that these sentences remain clear and well-constructed.

Overall, the essay is strong, meeting the requirements of Band 8, but further refinement and deeper analysis could potentially lead to a Band 9 score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, meeting the criteria for Band 8.

  1. Sequences information and ideas logically: The essay effectively follows a logical structure, starting with an introduction and then systematically presenting the data from the table. It progresses from a general overview of the global trend to specific regional details, and finally concludes with a summary. The progression is clear and easy to follow.

  2. Manages all aspects of cohesion well: Cohesion is maintained throughout the essay with the use of appropriate linking words and phrases, such as "There is a clear upward trajectory," "Conversely," and "Overall." These help in connecting ideas and ensuring the essay flows smoothly.

  3. Uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately: The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. It begins with an introduction paragraph, followed by body paragraphs addressing specific regions, and concludes with a summary paragraph. This paragraphing enhances the overall organization and readability of the essay.

While the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement to reach a Band 9 score. For instance, to achieve Band 9, the essay should use cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention, which means even more seamless transitions and an even subtler use of cohesive devices. However, the essay effectively meets the Band 8 criteria by logically presenting information, maintaining cohesion, and employing appropriate paragraphing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and meets the criteria for Band 8. It effectively uses a wide range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings and maintains fluency throughout. The essay skillfully incorporates less common lexical items to enhance the quality of expression. There are only occasional minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "Conversely" being used to introduce a sentence, which is not entirely accurate in this context. There is also a minor issue with the use of "expanding influence" where "growing popularity" might be more appropriate. However, these errors are rare and do not significantly impact the overall clarity and sophistication of the essay’s language.

How to improve:

To achieve a higher band score, the writer could focus on refining the use of less common vocabulary and ensuring absolute precision in word choice and collocation. Additionally, they should pay attention to the use of transitional phrases like "Conversely" to ensure they are used appropriately in context. Overall, this essay demonstrates strong lexical resource but could benefit from a bit more consistency in vocabulary selection.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy, aligning with the criteria for Band 7. It successfully utilizes a variety of complex structures, such as complex sentences and subordinate clauses. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to effective communication. The essay exhibits a commendable control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors present, such as "figures in millions" could be more precise as "figures are in millions," and "travel numbers" could be replaced with "the number of travelers." These errors do not significantly hinder comprehension and can be considered as occasional slips.

How to improve:

  1. Continue to use a wide range of complex sentence structures to enhance variety.
  2. Be vigilant about minor errors such as subject-verb agreement and precision in expression.
  3. Review punctuation usage for consistency and correctness.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and punctuation but should aim for even fewer minor errors to reach a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The presented table illustrates the evolution of international travel between 1990 and 2005, measured in millions of people. Overall, there is a discernible upward trend in global travel, with the total number surging from 448.9 million in 1990 to 693.7 million in 2005, marking a significant 54% increase over this 15-year period.

Notably, Europe stands out as the foremost destination, consistently attracting the largest number of travelers. During this time frame, European travel figures grew by approximately 43%, rising from 280.2 million to 400.3 million. This underscores Europe’s enduring popularity as a premier travel hub.

In contrast, the Middle East, while still exhibiting growth, experienced the smallest increase, climbing from 9.8 million to 15.8 million. This suggests a more gradual ascent in the Middle East’s travel industry. Meanwhile, Asia and the Pacific regions witnessed remarkable growth, with their numbers more than doubling from 60.2 million to 135.8 million, indicating the growing allure and influence of these regions in the international tourism sector.

Africa and America saw moderate growth, though not as pronounced as Europe or Asia and the Pacific. Collectively, these findings portray a robust expansion in the global travel industry, characterized by significant regional disparities. While Europe remains dominant in attracting international travelers, the rapid ascent of Asia and the Pacific hints at a shift towards these regions emerging as pivotal players in international tourism. The consistent growth across all regions reflects global economic development, enabling more individuals to partake in international travel.

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