TASK 1: The maps below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

TASK 1: The maps below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The pictures illustrate a town called Willington before and after the construction of several facilities between 1780, 1860 and 2000.

Looking from an overall perspective, the town witnessed a significant change in most spaces, especially the right-hand side of the maps. Notably, river was only remained unchanged.

In 1780, there were 100 houses in the north-east of the maps, with woods behind them. The river ran from north to south along the metropolis, a feature was unaltered by 2000. Besides, some farms located in the center of the layout. By 1860, some farms and trees were cleared to make way for a road leading from the river to housing area that increased to 200 homes in the northeast. Additionally, a bridge was constructed across to the river.

Regarding 2000, the number of villages experienced a significant rose to 500 homes. The forests and farms were entirely demolished and replaced by two schools and three stadiums in the southeast of the design. Moreover, a brief route was built in order to connect the residential zone to the schools and sport fields. In terms of the southwest of the architecture, the town became more commercial with a numerous of shops were erected. Furthermore, there was a wetland for birds at the south end of the river

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Errors and Improvements:

"a town called Willington" -> "the town of Willington"
Explanation: Using the definite article "the" before "town" adds specificity and grammatical correctness.
"Looking from an overall perspective" -> "Taking an overarching view"
Explanation: "Taking an overarching view" is a more sophisticated way to express examining something from a broad perspective.
"witnessed a significant change in most spaces" -> "underwent substantial transformations across various areas"
Explanation: "Underwent substantial transformations across various areas" conveys a more nuanced understanding of the changes the town experienced.
"Notably, river was only remained unchanged" -> "Significantly, the river remained unchanged"
Explanation: Placing "significantly" at the beginning emphasizes the importance of the unchanged aspect, and "remained unchanged" is a more grammatically correct phrase.
"there were 100 houses in the north-east of the maps" -> "The northeast portion of the maps depicted 100 houses"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence provides clarity and precision in describing the location of the houses.
"with woods behind them" -> "adjacent to wooded areas"
Explanation: "Adjacent to wooded areas" is more concise and grammatically correct.
"along the metropolis, a feature was unaltered by 2000" -> "along the town, a feature that remained unchanged by 2000"
Explanation: Adding "that remained unchanged" clarifies the relationship between the feature and the timeframe.
"some farms located in the center of the layout" -> "Several farms situated at the center of the layout"
Explanation: Using "several" instead of "some" adds specificity, and "situated" is a more formal alternative to "located."
"some farms and trees were cleared" -> "Several farms and trees were cleared"
Explanation: "Several" enhances specificity and accuracy in describing the number of farms and trees affected.
"to make way for a road leading from the river to housing area that increased to 200 homes" -> "to accommodate a road leading from the river to a housing area, which expanded to include 200 homes"
Explanation: Clarifies the purpose of clearing the land and provides a more grammatically correct structure.
"the number of villages experienced a significant rose" -> "there was a significant increase in the number of houses"
Explanation: "Experienced a significant rise" is a more precise and grammatically correct way to convey the increase in the number of houses.
"forests and farms were entirely demolished" -> "forests and farms were completely cleared"
Explanation: "Cleared" is a more accurate term to describe the removal of forests and farms.
"with a numerous of shops were erected" -> "with numerous shops erected"
Explanation: Removing the redundant "a" before "numerous" and repositioning "were erected" provides a more concise and grammatically correct sentence structure.
"Furthermore, there was a wetland for birds at the south end of the river" -> "Furthermore, a bird sanctuary was established at the southern end of the river"
Explanation: "Bird sanctuary" is a more specific term for the wetland area, and "established" is a more formal alternative to "was."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the changes that occurred in the town of Willington between 1780, 1860, and 2000. The main features such as the expansion of housing areas, construction of roads, bridges, schools, stadiums, and commercial shops are highlighted. There is a clear overview provided, detailing the transformation of the town over time. Key features and developments are identified, and comparisons are made where relevant, particularly between the different time periods.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more detailed descriptions of the changes that occurred, including specific features of the town in each time period. Additionally, ensuring the accuracy of information and avoiding vague statements would strengthen the response. Extensions could be made to further elaborate on the impact of these changes on the town’s development and population growth. Additionally, organizing the information in a more structured manner would enhance clarity and coherence.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion to a satisfactory extent. It organizes information in a logical sequence, beginning with an overview of the changes in the town and then providing details about specific areas and developments over time. There is a clear progression from the description of the town in 1780 to 1860 and finally to 2000. Paragraphing is evident, with distinct sections addressing each time period and aspect of the town’s development.

However, there are some areas where cohesion could be improved. While cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas within sentences, there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. Additionally, there are minor errors in referencing and substitution, such as unclear pronoun references ("a feature was unaltered by 2000") and awkward transitions ("Regarding 2000").

Overall, the essay presents coherent information with a clear overall progression, but there are some lapses in cohesion within and between sentences.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and appropriately throughout the essay. Pay attention to referencing and substitution to maintain clarity and coherence within sentences. Additionally, strive for smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to create a more cohesive flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. The candidate attempts to convey the changes in the town of Willington but relies on basic vocabulary and repetitive phrasing. There are some noticeable errors in word choice and word formation throughout the essay, such as "the town witnessed a significant change in most spaces" and "the number of villages experienced a significant rose." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the candidate should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary with more precision. Instead of repetitive phrases like "significant change," they could use more varied language to describe the transformations. Additionally, careful attention to word choice and formation is necessary to avoid errors that may impede communication. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical accuracy can help enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, incorporating more specific and varied vocabulary related to urban development and geographical features would enrich the lexical resource of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, showcasing an attempt at varied sentence structures. The essay contains some grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing articles ("a town called Willington" instead of "the town called Willington"), tense inconsistencies ("was only remained" instead of "remained unchanged"), and awkward phrasing ("the town witnessed a significant change in most spaces"). Despite these errors, the communication is generally clear and the essay effectively summarizes the information presented in the maps.

How to improve:

Grammar and Punctuation: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage to improve grammatical accuracy.
Sentence Structure: Continue practicing using a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to enhance the essay’s fluency and coherence.
Clarity and Precision: Be more precise in your descriptions and avoid vague or awkward phrasing to ensure clarity in communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps depict the evolution of Willington from 1780 to 2000, highlighting notable changes in its infrastructure and land use.

Initially, in 1780, the town comprised approximately 100 houses situated in the northeast, surrounded by wooded areas. The river flowed unchanged from north to south, defining the landscape. Additionally, farms dotted the central region.

By 1860, significant alterations were evident. A road was constructed, replacing some farms and trees, facilitating access from the river to the expanding residential area, which now boasted 200 homes. Furthermore, a bridge was erected over the river.

Fast forward to 2000, the transformation of Willington was striking. The number of residences surged to 500, with the removal of forests and farms to accommodate two schools and three stadiums in the southeast. A connecting road was established to link the residential sector with the newly built educational and recreational facilities. Commercial development flourished in the southwest, characterized by the emergence of numerous shops. Moreover, a wetland for bird conservation was established at the southern extremity of the river.

Overall, the evolution of Willington showcases a transition from a rural settlement to a bustling town, characterized by residential expansion, infrastructural development, and commercial growth.