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Task 1: The table below shows daily oil production in 4 countries from 2000 to 2004.

Task 1: The table below shows daily oil production in 4 countries from 2000 to 2004.

The given table delineates how much oil produced in 4 distinct countries between 2000 and 2004.
Overall, it is readily apparent that except for Congo, other 3 listed nations exhibited an upward trend throughout the period. Another strking point is that over the period, the oil outputs in Nigeria and Congo were significantly superior to those of the remaining provided nations.
Upon initial inspection, the oil production in Congo secured first place at 275000 tons, followed by Nigeria at 205000 tons in 2000. By 2003, while the former had witnessed a substantial decrease to 215000 tons, the opposite pattern was true for the latter at 210000 tons. In the last year, the figure for Nigeria rose steadily to reach 213000 tons, surpassing that for Congo at 203000 tons.
Concerning the remaining features, 5000 tons of oil were produced per day in Somalia in the first year of the given period. In the subsequent 2 years, the figure for Somalia exhibited a rise by over 3 fold to 17000 tons. By contrast, there were no data about the oil production of Chad until 2003, which stood last at 8000 tons, whereas that of Somalia climbed gradually to 21000 tons. Similarly, both figures reached 50000 tons in the last year, with the figure for the former underwent a drastic increase.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “delineates” -> “illustrates”
    Explanation: Replacing “delineates” with “illustrates” is a more common and clear way to express that the table is showing information about oil production in different countries.
  2. “readily apparent” -> “clearly evident”
    Explanation: “Clearly evident” is a more precise and advanced phrase to convey the idea that the information is easy to see and understand.
  3. “strking point” -> “remarkable point”
    Explanation: “Remarkable point” is a more sophisticated term to emphasize something noteworthy in the data.
  4. “outputs” -> “production levels”
    Explanation: “Production levels” is a more precise and descriptive term to refer to the quantity of oil produced.
  5. “initial inspection” -> “initial examination”
    Explanation: “Initial examination” is a more formal and appropriate phrase to introduce the analysis of the data.
  6. “witnessed a substantial decrease” -> “experienced a significant decline”
    Explanation: “Experienced a significant decline” is a more formal and precise way to describe the decrease in oil production.
  7. “opposite pattern was true” -> “conversely, the opposite was observed”
    Explanation: The suggested phrase provides a clearer and more formal expression of the contrast between the two countries’ oil production patterns.
  8. “figure for Nigeria rose steadily” -> “Nigeria’s production figures steadily increased”
    Explanation: The suggested revision provides a more precise and descriptive way to convey the increase in Nigeria’s oil production.
  9. “remaining features” -> “other aspects”
    Explanation: “Other aspects” is a more suitable term for referring to the remaining data points in the table.
  10. “exhibited a rise by over 3 fold” -> “experienced a threefold increase”
    Explanation: “Experienced a threefold increase” is a more concise and precise way to describe the substantial rise in oil production.
  11. “stood last at” -> “remained at the bottom with”
    Explanation: “Remained at the bottom with” provides a clearer and more descriptive way to convey the position of Chad’s oil production.
  12. “underwent a drastic increase” -> “experienced a dramatic surge”
    Explanation: “Experienced a dramatic surge” is a more formal and vivid way to describe the significant increase in oil production for the former country.

 

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay provides a reasonably clear overview of the data presented in the table. It correctly identifies the four countries mentioned and their respective oil production trends between 2000 and 2004. The essay mentions that except for Congo, the other three nations showed an upward trend, which aligns with the data in the table.

The essay also highlights key figures such as the oil production amounts for Congo and Nigeria in 2000 and their changes over the years. It mentions the initial oil production for Somalia and its subsequent increase. It also references the introduction of data for Chad in 2003 and its increase until the last year.

However, there are some areas for improvement:

How to improve:

  1. The introduction could be more concise and directly state the main trends and key points. Avoid redundant phrases like “it is readily apparent” and “Another striking point is that.”
  2. The essay uses informal language, such as “strking,” which should be corrected to “striking.”
  3. There is room for improvement in sentence structure and clarity. For instance, the phrase “the opposite pattern was true for the latter at 210000 tons” could be rewritten more clearly.
  4. The essay could benefit from more precise language in terms of data presentation. For example, instead of saying “substantial decrease” or “drastic increase,” specific percentage changes could be provided.
  5. The conclusion could summarize the main findings more explicitly, reiterating the key trends observed in the data.

Overall, the essay adequately addresses the task requirements and presents the key features of the data, but there is room for improvement in terms of language precision and clarity.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion overall, earning it a Band 7. The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and the countries’ oil production trends during the specified years. The body paragraphs are logically organized, with a clear progression from one point to the next. Transitions and linking words are used effectively to connect ideas and sentences.

In terms of cohesion, the essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as “except for,” “another striking point is that,” “upon initial inspection,” “concerning the remaining features,” and “by contrast,” to connect and clarify ideas. These devices contribute to the essay’s overall clarity and coherence. The use of referencing, like “the former” and “the latter,” helps maintain coherence by clearly indicating which countries or figures are being referred to.

Additionally, the essay uses paragraphing appropriately, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main points about each country’s oil production, and a concluding statement. This paragraphing enhances the organization of the essay and makes it easier to follow.

How to improve: To reach a higher band score, the essay could further improve coherence and cohesion by ensuring that cohesive devices are used consistently and effectively. Additionally, while the essay is generally well-structured, minor refinements in organization and sentence structure could enhance overall clarity.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It uses some less common lexical items, such as “delineates,” “exhibited,” “secured,” “substantial,” “surpassing,” “concerning,” “subsequent,” and “drastic.” These words enhance the vocabulary variety, although there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, the use of “strking” instead of “striking” is a minor spelling error. Additionally, there are some awkward or unclear phrasings, such as “By contrast, there were no data about the oil production of Chad until 2003,” which could be more effectively worded.

How to improve:

  1. Pay close attention to spelling and grammar to eliminate minor errors.
  2. Work on improving word choice and collocation to enhance the fluency and precision of the essay.
  3. Focus on sentence structure and clarity to avoid awkward or unclear phrasings. For example, rephrase the sentence about Chad’s data to make it more concise and clear.

Overall, while the essay shows potential with a decent range of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of accuracy and clarity.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical range and accuracy. A variety of complex structures are used, contributing to a cohesive and well-organized response. The sentences are mostly error-free, with a good control of grammar and punctuation evident throughout the essay. There are, however, a few instances of minor errors, such as “strking” instead of “striking” and “3 fold” instead of “threefold.” These errors, though noticeable, do not significantly impede communication. Overall, the essay displays a sound command of grammatical structures, enhancing its clarity and coherence.

How to improve:
To further enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should be attentive to minor spelling errors, ensuring precision in the use of words like “strking.” Additionally, using the more formal “it is evident that” instead of “it is readily apparent that” can elevate the academic tone of the essay. Consistent proofreading will help identify and correct such minor errors, contributing to a more polished and refined piece of writing.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

Introduction:
The provided table illustrates the daily oil production in four distinct countries spanning the years 2000 to 2004. It is evident that, with the exception of Congo, the remaining three nations experienced an upward trajectory in oil production during this period. Notably, Nigeria and Congo consistently maintained significantly higher oil outputs compared to the other two nations.

Overview:
In the year 2000, Congo led in oil production, yielding 275,000 tons per day, followed closely by Nigeria at 205,000 tons. However, by 2003, Congo’s production saw a substantial decline to 215,000 tons, while Nigeria’s output exhibited an opposite trend, increasing to 210,000 tons. In the final year, Nigeria surpassed Congo with a steady rise to 213,000 tons, while Congo’s production stood at 203,000 tons.

Detailed Paragraphs:
To delve further into the specifics, Somalia commenced the period with a daily oil production of 5,000 tons. Over the subsequent two years, this figure witnessed a remarkable threefold increase, reaching 17,000 tons. On the other hand, data for Chad’s oil production were unavailable until 2003 when it recorded 8,000 tons, placing it at the lowest production level among the featured countries. Meanwhile, Somalia’s production continued to ascend gradually, reaching 21,000 tons. Notably, both Somalia and Chad reached a common production level of 50,000 tons in the final year, with Chad’s figure undergoing a drastic increase.

In conclusion, the provided data underscores the varying trajectories of daily oil production in the featured countries during the period from 2000 to 2004. The fluctuations in production levels reveal distinct patterns, with Nigeria ultimately emerging as the leading oil-producing nation, surpassing even Congo in the final year.

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