Task 2: Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say the study of the past helps us understand the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

It is an opinion that history would bring little, even none useful information for our society, while others claim studying about the past would provide us huge knowledge, helping us understand more about the present. In this essay, I would explore both schools of thought and present my perspectives.

On the one hand, learning about the past is becoming unnecessary in the era of technological advancements. Nowadays, we are surviving together with technology and the digital industry, with multiple technological-related jobs at the top of labor markets. Those jobs require employees to be skillful in using digital devices such as mobile phones, computers or tablets, therefore, studying science subjects and IT would provide us with utilized knowledge about logic and calculator skills rather than learning history. Moreover, history is being less cared about because of the ability to mislead information that wasn’t recorded carefully in the past.

On the other hand, some people believe knowing about history would promote national patriotism and help us understand the present more and more. Firstly, history would supply a plethora of information about our ancestors and how they fought in resistance wars in order to protect our country. It not only supports mortals in learning about the origin of their peaceful lives, but also advises them to infer experiences from mistakes in the past to develop their nations. For instance, history is considered one of the most crucial subjects in Vietnam, students will be taught about the glory of our past.

In conclusion, although both ways of thinking have their certain merits, some individuals claim history offers nothing useful in the sense of technological advantages, in contrast with an opinion of patriotism and life experiences that history could bring to us. From my perspective, i also agree with the latter idea, history would have people to know what they are today.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is an opinion that" -> "It is often argued that"
Explanation: "It is often argued that" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a common viewpoint in academic writing, enhancing the tone and clarity of the statement.
"would bring little, even none useful information" -> "would provide little to no useful information"
Explanation: "Provide" is more appropriate than "bring" in this context, as it directly relates to the offering of information. Also, "little to no" is a more precise and formal way to express the absence or scarcity of something.
"huge knowledge" -> "substantial knowledge"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more academically appropriate term than "huge," which can sound informal and vague in academic writing.
"helping us understand more about the present" -> "enabling us to better understand the present"
Explanation: "Enabling us to better understand" is more formal and precise, emphasizing the facilitating role of historical knowledge in comprehension.
"learning about the past is becoming unnecessary" -> "studying the past is becoming less relevant"
Explanation: "Less relevant" is a more precise term than "unnecessary," which can imply complete lack of importance, which might not be the intended meaning.
"we are surviving together with technology" -> "we coexist with technology"
Explanation: "Coexist" is a more formal and precise term than "surviving together," which is colloquial and less specific.
"with multiple technological-related jobs at the top of labor markets" -> "with numerous technology-related jobs at the forefront of the labor market"
Explanation: "At the forefront of the labor market" is a more formal and precise way to describe the prominence of these jobs, and "numerous" is more appropriate than "multiple" in formal writing.
"utilized knowledge" -> "practical knowledge"
Explanation: "Practical knowledge" is a more specific and academically accepted term than "utilized knowledge," which is less commonly used in formal contexts.
"history is being less cared about" -> "history is being less valued"
Explanation: "Less valued" is a more precise and formal way to express the diminishing importance or appreciation of history.
"the ability to mislead information" -> "the potential for misinformation"
Explanation: "The potential for misinformation" is a more accurate and formal expression, avoiding the awkward construction of "the ability to mislead information."
"would supply a plethora of information" -> "would provide a wealth of information"
Explanation: "Provide a wealth of information" is a more formal and commonly used phrase in academic writing than "supply a plethora of information," which can sound slightly informal.
"mortals" -> "people"
Explanation: "Mortals" is an archaic and somewhat poetic term that may not be suitable for formal academic writing. "People" is straightforward and appropriate.
"advises them to infer experiences" -> "encourages them to draw lessons"
Explanation: "Encourages them to draw lessons" is a clearer and more direct way to express the idea of learning from past experiences, avoiding the less common and slightly awkward "infer experiences."
"i also agree with the latter idea" -> "I also agree with this latter perspective"
Explanation: Capitalizing "I" corrects the grammatical error, and "this latter perspective" is more formal and precise than "the latter idea."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both viewpoints regarding the value of studying history. The first viewpoint discusses the irrelevance of history in the context of technological advancements, while the second viewpoint emphasizes the importance of history in fostering national pride and understanding the present. However, the exploration of the first viewpoint lacks depth, and the argument could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, while it mentions technological jobs, it does not elaborate on how this directly correlates to the dismissal of history.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more examples and details for both viewpoints. Specifically, they could discuss how historical knowledge can inform technological advancements or societal progress, thereby creating a more balanced discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of the importance of history, particularly in the conclusion. However, the transition from discussing both viewpoints to the writer’s own opinion is somewhat abrupt. The phrase "some individuals claim history offers nothing useful" could be better integrated to clarify the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion earlier in the essay, perhaps in the introduction. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument and reinforce the writer’s perspective throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the role of history in promoting patriotism and learning from past mistakes. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the mention of "misleading information" in history is intriguing but lacks examples or further explanation, which could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples and explanations. For instance, they could discuss a particular historical event that illustrates the lessons learned from the past or how history has shaped contemporary society.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the relevance of history in modern society. However, some sections, particularly the first viewpoint, veer slightly off-topic by focusing too much on technology without clearly linking it back to the main argument about the value of history.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of the essay. They could use topic sentences that clearly connect each paragraph to the overarching theme of the essay, reinforcing the relevance of each argument to the discussion of history’s value.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear opinion, it would benefit from deeper analysis, clearer transitions, and more thorough support for its ideas.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by introducing the topic, discussing both viewpoints, and concluding with a personal opinion. However, the logical progression could be improved. For instance, the transition from the first viewpoint about technology to the second viewpoint about history feels somewhat abrupt. The ideas within paragraphs are generally relevant, but the connections between them could be made clearer. For example, the first paragraph discusses technological advancements but does not explicitly connect this to the argument against studying history.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, transitional phrases such as "In contrast," or "On the other hand," can help signal shifts in argument more effectively. Structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single idea, and a conclusion that synthesizes the arguments can also improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes use of paragraphs, which is a strength. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. However, the internal structure of some paragraphs could be more developed. For example, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences and supporting details that are directly related to the main argument. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could be more concise.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. Follow this with supporting sentences that elaborate on the topic with examples and explanations. In the conclusion, aim for a summary that encapsulates the main arguments without introducing new ideas or repeating previous points.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "therefore" is used, but the logical connection could be made clearer in context. Additionally, there are some grammatical errors that disrupt cohesion, such as "i also agree" instead of "I also agree."
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "however," "in addition," and "consequently." Ensure that each device is used appropriately to clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases like "technological advancements," "digital industry," and "national patriotism." However, it often relies on basic vocabulary and lacks variety in word choice. For example, the phrase "huge knowledge" is vague and could be expressed more precisely as "a wealth of knowledge" or "extensive knowledge."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "learning about the past," alternatives like "studying historical events" or "examining historical narratives" could be used. Engaging with a thesaurus or reading more academic texts could help in this regard.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "none useful information," which should be corrected to "no useful information." Additionally, the phrase "mislead information" is awkward; "misleading information" would be more appropriate. The term "mortals" is also incorrectly used in this context, as it typically refers to human beings in a philosophical sense rather than as a descriptor for people learning history.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Reviewing common collocations and phrases in English can help in selecting the right words. For example, instead of "advises them to infer experiences," a more precise phrase could be "encourages them to learn from past experiences."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "i" instead of "I" and "utilized knowledge," which should be "utilitarian knowledge" or "practical knowledge" for clarity. The phrase "technological-related jobs" should be "technology-related jobs." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling. Reading more extensively can also help familiarize the writer with correct spelling in context.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and structure, focusing on expanding vocabulary, using words more precisely, and ensuring correct spelling will significantly enhance the quality of the writing and potentially raise the band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the phrase "while others claim studying about the past would provide us huge knowledge" shows an attempt at complexity. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar structure, which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, phrases like "learning about the past is becoming unnecessary" could be expressed in a more varied manner to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentences that incorporate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "history would bring little," you could say, "While some argue that history brings little value, others contend that it is essential for understanding our current society." This not only varies the structure but also enhances clarity and sophistication.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, "none useful information" should be "no useful information," and "studying about the past" is awkward; it would be more effective to say "studying the past." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. For example, "students will be taught about the glory of our past" could benefit from a comma before "and" if it were part of a longer list.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and proper article usage. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, reviewing rules for commas, especially in compound sentences, will improve clarity. Reading more complex texts can also help internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is often argued that history would provide little to no useful information for our society, while others claim that studying the past would offer substantial knowledge, enabling us to better understand the present. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoints and present my perspective.

On the one hand, learning about the past is becoming less relevant in the era of technological advancements. Nowadays, we coexist with technology and the digital industry, with numerous technology-related jobs at the forefront of the labor market. These jobs require employees to be skilled in using digital devices such as mobile phones, computers, or tablets. Therefore, studying science subjects and IT would provide us with practical knowledge about logic and computational skills rather than focusing on history. Moreover, history is being less valued due to the potential for misinformation that arises from records that were not carefully documented in the past.

On the other hand, some people believe that knowing about history would promote national patriotism and help us understand the present more deeply. Firstly, history would provide a wealth of information about our ancestors and how they fought in resistance wars to protect our country. It not only supports individuals in learning about the origins of their peaceful lives but also encourages them to draw lessons from past mistakes to develop their nations. For instance, history is considered one of the most crucial subjects in Vietnam, where students are taught about the glory of our past.

In conclusion, although both perspectives have their merits, some individuals argue that history offers little in terms of technological advantages, contrasting with the view that it fosters patriotism and life experiences. From my perspective, I also agree with this latter viewpoint; history helps people understand who they are today.