Task 2: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some university students prefer not to restrict themselves to their main subjects, while others argue that prioritising their time and efforts on studying for a qualification is more crucial. From my perspective, I align with the latter stance due to various reasons.

To begin with, one notable argument for studying diverse subjects relates to improved employability. While specialising in a specific field is important, employers also value candidates who possess qualities such as adaptability and a willingness to learn. Students who study beyond their primary subjects showcase these sought-after qualities by actively stepping outside their comfort zones and venture into unfamiliar territory. Take a computer science student who decides to take a psychology course as an example. By embracing a different discipline, they seek a deeper understanding of human behaviour and its potential implications in their future work as a software developer. This demonstrates their ability to adapt to diverse fields and their enthusiasm for expanding their intellectual horizons. This, in turn, can give them a competitive edge in the job market.

However, given the demanding nature of university education, I firmly believe that prioritising a single qualification is more important for optimising study efficiency and effective time management. Firstly, in terms of study efficiency, juggling multiple subjects can burden students with cognitive strain as they constantly switch between topics, assignments, and exams. However, by focusing solely on main subjects, students can streamline their thinking processes and optimise the allocation of their mental energy. Secondly, committing to a single qualification helps with time management as it clarifies academic priorities. This enhanced clarity enables students to discern the most critical tasks, assignments, and projects associated with their main subjects. Consequently, they can allocate time efficiently to meet qualification requirements.

In conclusion, while exploring additional subjects is beneficial, I believe it is more crucial for university students to place a higher priority on a single qualification to ensure a fruitful academic journey.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some university students prefer not to restrict themselves to their main subjects" -> "Some university students opt not to confine themselves to their primary disciplines"
Explanation: Replacing "prefer not to restrict themselves" with "opt not to confine themselves" uses more precise language that is more suitable for academic writing. "Primary disciplines" is a more formal term than "main subjects."
"prioritising their time and efforts on studying for a qualification" -> "prioritizing their time and efforts in pursuing a qualification"
Explanation: "Prioritizing" is the correct form of the verb in this context, and "in pursuing" is more precise than "on studying for," which is awkwardly phrased.
"From my perspective, I align with the latter stance" -> "I concur with the latter perspective"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "align with," and "perspective" is more appropriate than "stance" in this context, as it refers to a viewpoint rather than a physical position.
"various reasons" -> "several reasons"
Explanation: "Several" is more specific and academically appropriate than "various," which can be vague.
"one notable argument" -> "a significant argument"
Explanation: "Significant" is more precise and formal than "notable," which can imply a lesser degree of importance.
"employers also value candidates who possess qualities such as adaptability and a willingness to learn" -> "employers also seek candidates who exhibit qualities such as adaptability and a willingness to learn"
Explanation: "Exhibit" is more precise than "possess" in this context, as it implies actively demonstrating these qualities.
"venture into unfamiliar territory" -> "explore new areas"
Explanation: "Explore new areas" is a more formal and precise way to describe venturing into the unknown.
"a computer science student who decides to take a psychology course" -> "a computer science student who chooses to pursue a psychology course"
Explanation: "Chooses to pursue" is more formal and specific than "decides to take," which is somewhat informal.
"give them a competitive edge" -> "enhance their competitiveness"
Explanation: "Enhance their competitiveness" is a more formal and precise way to describe gaining an advantage.
"given the demanding nature of university education" -> "considering the rigorous nature of university education"
Explanation: "Rigorous" is a more precise adjective than "demanding" in this context, emphasizing the intensity of academic requirements.
"juggling multiple subjects" -> "managing multiple disciplines"
Explanation: "Managing" is a more formal term than "juggling," which is colloquial and less appropriate for academic writing.
"streamline their thinking processes" -> "optimize their cognitive processes"
Explanation: "Optimize" is a more precise term than "streamline," which is somewhat vague and informal in this context.
"clarifies academic priorities" -> "clarifies academic priorities"
Explanation: "Clarifies" is the correct form of the verb in this context, indicating the process of making something clear.
"a fruitful academic journey" -> "a productive academic experience"
Explanation: "Productive" is more specific and academically appropriate than "fruitful," which can be vague and less formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the importance of studying additional subjects versus focusing solely on a main qualification. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, and the body paragraphs provide arguments for both sides. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits of studying diverse subjects, such as improved employability and adaptability, while the second paragraph argues for the importance of prioritizing a single qualification for efficiency and time management. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint in the conclusion. While the author states their opinion, reiterating the value of both perspectives before concluding would strengthen the overall argument and provide a more nuanced discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, favoring the argument for prioritizing a single qualification. The author’s stance is evident from the introduction and is consistently reinforced in the body paragraphs. The use of phrases like "I firmly believe" and "from my perspective" effectively communicates the author’s viewpoint. However, the transition between discussing both views and the author’s opinion could be smoother.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly indicate when they are shifting from discussing the opposing view to their own opinion. For example, a phrase like "Despite the benefits of exploring additional subjects, I contend that…" would create a more seamless transition and reinforce the author’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of the benefits of studying diverse subjects and the rationale for focusing on a single qualification. The use of a specific example (the computer science student taking a psychology course) effectively illustrates the point about adaptability and employability. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from additional examples or evidence to further substantiate the claims about study efficiency and time management.
- How to improve: To strengthen the argument, the author could include statistics or research findings that highlight the cognitive load associated with multitasking in academic settings. Additionally, incorporating a counterexample of a student who successfully manages multiple subjects could provide a more balanced view and enhance the depth of the analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph directly addressing the prompt. The author does not deviate from the main discussion, which is commendable. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from presenting both views to articulating the author’s opinion.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the author should ensure that each point made is directly relevant to the prompt. To maintain this focus, it may be helpful to periodically refer back to the question in the body paragraphs, reinforcing how each argument relates to the importance of studying additional subjects versus focusing on a main qualification. This technique can help keep the discussion tightly aligned with the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With minor adjustments in transitions, additional supporting evidence, and a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing view in the conclusion, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The arguments are logically sequenced, with the first body paragraph addressing the benefits of studying diverse subjects and the second focusing on the importance of prioritizing a single qualification. For instance, the transition from discussing employability to the challenges of managing multiple subjects is smooth and coherent, allowing the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between ideas. For example, after discussing the benefits of diverse subjects, a phrase like "On the other hand" could be used to signal the shift to the opposing view. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea can further strengthen the organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear focus: the first discusses the advantages of studying additional subjects, while the second emphasizes the importance of concentrating on a single qualification. This separation helps the reader understand the distinct arguments being made.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a balanced amount of information. The first paragraph is slightly longer and more detailed than the second. To improve this, the second paragraph could include a specific example or a counter-argument to provide a more balanced discussion. This would not only enhance the depth of the argument but also maintain reader engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "firstly," and "consequently," which help to connect ideas and indicate relationships between them. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to follow the argumentation effectively.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "in contrast" or "similarly" could enhance the clarity of comparisons and contrasts between the two views. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also help in making the writing more engaging; for example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "students," try using different subjects or rephrasing to maintain reader interest.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to support the argument. With minor adjustments in linking phrases, paragraph balance, and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could reach an even higher level of clarity and engagement.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "prioritising," "adaptability," "employability," and "cognitive strain." These words effectively convey the writer’s arguments and contribute to the overall clarity of the essay. The use of phrases like "stepping outside their comfort zones" and "intellectual horizons" showcases a sophisticated understanding of language and its nuances.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical range, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "important" and "crucial," alternatives like "essential," "vital," or "paramount" could be used. Additionally, including more academic or technical vocabulary related to the subjects discussed could elevate the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, particularly in the context of discussing employability and study efficiency. Phrases such as "streamline their thinking processes" and "optimise the allocation of their mental energy" are well-chosen and convey the intended meaning clearly. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more precise, such as the phrase "students can allocate time efficiently," which could be more effectively expressed as "students can manage their time more effectively."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey their ideas more clearly and accurately. For example, instead of "burden students with cognitive strain," a more precise phrase could be "overwhelm students with cognitive demands." This would enhance clarity and ensure that the intended message is communicated effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "prioritising," "employability," and "qualifications" are spelled correctly, demonstrating the writer’s attention to detail and command of the English language.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice and review commonly misspelled words, particularly those that may be specific to academic contexts. Engaging in regular reading and writing exercises can help reinforce spelling skills and ensure continued accuracy in future essays.

Overall, the essay effectively meets the criteria for Lexical Resource at a Band 8 level, with strengths in vocabulary range and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied synonyms, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate their lexical resource in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the sentence, "While specialising in a specific field is important, employers also value candidates who possess qualities such as adaptability and a willingness to learn," effectively combines clauses to convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of participial phrases, such as "by actively stepping outside their comfort zones," adds depth to the writing. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way arguments are introduced and developed, which could limit the overall range.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence openings and lengths. For example, instead of consistently starting with "students" or "this," try using adverbial phrases or subordinate clauses to begin sentences. Additionally, using rhetorical questions or conditional clauses could enhance engagement and complexity. Experimenting with inversion for emphasis, such as "Rarely do students find time for both," can also add variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with few errors that do not impede understanding. The use of punctuation is mostly correct, aiding clarity and flow. For example, commas are appropriately used to separate clauses, as seen in "However, given the demanding nature of university education." Nevertheless, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "venture into unfamiliar territory," where "venture" could be better aligned with the subject by changing it to "venturing," making it parallel with "stepping" in the previous clause. Additionally, the phrase "this, in turn," could be more effectively punctuated with a semicolon or a period to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to parallel structure within lists or series, ensuring that verbs and phrases are consistent. Regularly revising punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas and semicolons, can help refine writing. Practicing sentence combining exercises can also aid in recognizing and correcting structural inconsistencies. Lastly, consider reading the essay aloud to catch any awkward phrasing or punctuation errors that may have been overlooked during the writing process.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the writer’s viewpoint, but there is room for improvement in both the variety of structures and grammatical precision to reach an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some university students prefer not to restrict themselves to their main subjects, while others argue that prioritizing their time and efforts on studying for a qualification is more crucial. From my perspective, I concur with the latter stance due to several reasons.

To begin with, one significant argument for studying diverse subjects relates to improved employability. While specializing in a specific field is important, employers also seek candidates who exhibit qualities such as adaptability and a willingness to learn. Students who study beyond their primary subjects showcase these sought-after qualities by actively stepping outside their comfort zones and exploring unfamiliar territory. Take a computer science student who decides to pursue a psychology course as an example. By embracing a different discipline, they seek a deeper understanding of human behavior and its potential implications in their future work as a software developer. This demonstrates their ability to adapt to diverse fields and their enthusiasm for expanding their intellectual horizons. This, in turn, can enhance their competitiveness in the job market.

However, considering the rigorous nature of university education, I firmly believe that prioritizing a single qualification is more important for optimizing study efficiency and effective time management. Firstly, in terms of study efficiency, managing multiple disciplines can burden students with cognitive strain as they constantly switch between topics, assignments, and exams. However, by focusing solely on main subjects, students can clarify academic priorities and streamline their thinking processes, optimizing the allocation of their mental energy. Secondly, committing to a single qualification helps with time management as it enables students to discern the most critical tasks, assignments, and projects associated with their main subjects. Consequently, they can allocate time efficiently to meet qualification requirements.