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The advantages of the spread of English as a global language will continue to outweigh its disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advantages of the spread of English as a global language will continue to outweigh its disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the benefits of continuing expansion of English as an international language exceeds its drawbacks. From my perspective, I totally agree with this viewpoint.
On the one hand, English as the most widely used language in the world have brought various downsides. First and foremost, the global growth of English could lead to extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities. Specifically, as English has become more and more common, other less popular languages in some parts of the world could become less spoken and eventually vanish. This could be a significant loss to the richness of human culture since the loss of a language synonyms the loss of various terms or concepts. Secondly, regarding education or employment opportunities, those who are able to communicate in English are likely to be preferred to their counterparts. Thus, to some extent, this could be a bias against people who do not have a condition to learn English.
On the other hand, despite aforementioned disadvantages, I am convinced that English as a worldwide language has brought more positive outcomes. One of the benefits is that English has facilitated global communication, especially in business and commerce. Individuals from different countries can communicate with each other in English, removing language obstacles. For example, many global organizations such as UNESCO or FIFA has set English as its official language, meaning all member nations can use English to communicate. In addition, as English has become the predominant language in research, technology, and medicine, most of knowledge of these domains is written in English. Hence, this allows those who speak English to access and obtain the most recent information.
In conclusion, English, although having certain manageable difficulties, has genuinely facilitated international communication and exposure to the academic community. This is why I completely agree that the benefits of English's globalization will continue to exceed its drawbacks.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "From my perspective, I totally agree with this viewpoint." -> "From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this viewpoint."
    Explanation: Replacing "totally" with "wholeheartedly" adds a more formal and emphatic tone, aligning better with academic writing conventions.

  2. "have brought various downsides" -> "have brought about various drawbacks."
    Explanation: The phrase "have brought about various drawbacks" is more formal and precise than "have brought various downsides."

  3. "First and foremost, the global growth of English could lead to extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities." -> "Primarily, the worldwide expansion of English could result in the extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities."
    Explanation: Substituting "First and foremost" with "Primarily" maintains formality and provides a clearer transition. Also, "worldwide expansion" is more precise than "global growth."

  4. "This could be a significant loss to the richness of human culture since the loss of a language synonyms the loss of various terms or concepts." -> "This could represent a significant loss to the richness of human culture, as the demise of a language entails the loss of various terms or concepts."
    Explanation: Using "represent" instead of "be" and rephrasing "synonyms the loss of" to "entails the loss of" enhances clarity and formality.

  5. "those who are able to communicate in English are likely to be preferred to their counterparts." -> "those proficient in English are likely to be favored over their counterparts."
    Explanation: Substituting "able to communicate in" with "proficient in" and changing "preferred to" to "favored over" conveys a more formal tone.

  6. "Thus, to some extent, this could be a bias against people who do not have a condition to learn English." -> "Thus, to some extent, this could create bias against individuals who lack the means to learn English."
    Explanation: Replacing "a bias against" with "create bias against" and changing "do not have a condition to" to "lack the means to" improves precision and formality.

  7. "despite aforementioned disadvantages" -> "despite the aforementioned drawbacks."
    Explanation: Adding "the" before "aforementioned" enhances formality and grammatical accuracy.

  8. "One of the benefits is that English has facilitated global communication, especially in business and commerce." -> "One significant advantage is that English has fostered global communication, particularly in business and commerce."
    Explanation: Substituting "benefits" with "significant advantage" and changing "facilitated" to "fostered" adds nuance and formality.

  9. "Individuals from different countries can communicate with each other in English, removing language obstacles." -> "Individuals from different countries can communicate with each other in English, overcoming language barriers."
    Explanation: Replacing "removing" with "overcoming" provides a more formal and precise term for addressing language obstacles.

  10. "most of knowledge of these domains is written in English." -> "the majority of knowledge in these domains is documented in English."
    Explanation: Substituting "most of knowledge of" with "the majority of knowledge in" improves clarity and formal expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges both the advantages and disadvantages of the spread of English as a global language, and the writer takes a clear stance by expressing complete agreement with the viewpoint that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Relevant sections, such as the mention of potential extinction of indigenous languages and biases in education and employment, support this analysis.
    • How to improve: To enhance the analysis, the writer could provide more depth in discussing the disadvantages. For instance, elaborating on specific examples of cultures impacted by language extinction or providing more nuanced perspectives on biases would add richness to the essay.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the idea that the advantages of English’s global spread are more significant than its disadvantages. The writer’s stance is evident from the thesis statement to the concluding paragraph.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could consider incorporating a thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly states their agreement with the idea that the benefits of English’s global expansion outweigh its drawbacks.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. Examples, such as the potential extinction of indigenous languages and the preference for English speakers in education and employment, are well-developed and supported. The second paragraph, in particular, provides detailed examples of how English facilitates global communication and access to knowledge.
    • How to improve: While the examples are strong, the essay could benefit from incorporating additional details or evidence to further strengthen the support for each idea. This could involve providing more statistics, real-world examples, or expert opinions to enhance the depth of the analysis.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, consistently discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the spread of English as a global language. However, there are minor instances where the focus could be sharper. For example, the mention of biases in education and employment is relevant but could be more directly tied to the spread of English.
    • How to improve: To maintain a sharper focus, the writer should ensure that every point made is directly connected to the central theme of the advantages and disadvantages of the spread of English. This could involve avoiding tangential discussions and ensuring that each supporting detail contributes directly to the overall argument.

In conclusion, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively presenting and supporting ideas while maintaining a clear and consistent position. To improve, the writer can enhance the depth of analysis, explicitly state their position in the introduction, and ensure every point directly contributes to the central theme.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction clearly states the author’s position. The body paragraphs present arguments both against and in favor of the spread of English, providing a balanced perspective. The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the author’s agreement with the given viewpoint. However, there are areas where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the drawbacks and benefits of English in the second paragraph is somewhat abrupt, impacting the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider providing smoother transitions between ideas. Use connecting phrases or sentences to guide the reader through the shift from one point to another. For instance, in the transition between discussing drawbacks and benefits, a sentence that bridges the two ideas would contribute to a more seamless organization.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a particular aspect of the argument, aiding clarity. However, the second paragraph is quite lengthy and addresses both drawbacks and benefits, which might slightly affect the readability and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: Consider breaking down the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs—one for drawbacks and another for benefits. This will help maintain a clear structure and allow readers to better follow the author’s arguments.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, reasonably well. For example, phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" signal shifts between contrasting points. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of cohesive devices to create a more varied and sophisticated essay.
    • How to improve: Experiment with a broader range of cohesive devices. Incorporate synonyms for commonly used transition words, and explore different ways to express relationships between ideas. This will add nuance to the essay and enhance its overall cohesion.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a generally strong coherence and cohesion, refining the logical organization, paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to an even more effective presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderately wide range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use a variety of words and expressions, but it is not consistently rich throughout. For instance, terms like "downsides," "counterparts," "condition," and "predominant" demonstrate a reasonable vocabulary range. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to enhance the precision and nuance of expression.
    • How to improve: To enhance the vocabulary range, consider incorporating more sophisticated and contextually appropriate words. For example, instead of using "downsides," explore alternatives like "drawbacks" or "limitations." Additionally, make an effort to incorporate specific domain-related vocabulary when discussing global communication, culture, or academic domains.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally precise use of vocabulary. There are instances where words are chosen accurately, contributing to a clear and effective expression of ideas. For instance, the use of "extinction" to describe the potential fate of indigenous languages is precise and effective. However, there are a few areas where more precise vocabulary could be employed to convey ideas more sharply.
    • How to improve: When discussing the drawbacks of the global growth of English, consider using more precise language to highlight specific issues. For example, instead of "condition," you could use "opportunity" or "capacity," and instead of "manageable difficulties," consider terms like "challenges" or "obstacles." This will add nuance and precision to your expression.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. Most words are spelled correctly, contributing to clear communication. However, there are a few instances where errors are present, such as "synonyms" (should be "symbolizes") and "its" (should be "it’s").
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider reviewing your essay carefully for common spelling errors. Pay particular attention to homophones like "its" and "it’s." Utilize spell-check tools during the proofreading process to catch and rectify any overlooked errors. Developing a habit of thorough proofreading will contribute to improved spelling precision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable variety of sentence structures. It effectively uses complex sentences, such as the one in the introduction, "It is argued that the benefits of continuing expansion of English as an international language exceed its drawbacks." However, there is room for improvement in terms of diversification. The essay tends to rely on simple and compound sentences predominantly, with limited use of more intricate structures like conditional or complex-compound sentences.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex and compound-complex sentences. Introduce conditional sentences to express hypothetical situations or contrast. For example, in the body paragraphs, you can explore conditional statements to present opposing viewpoints and add depth to your arguments.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances where the choice of words could be more precise, affecting the overall clarity. For example, the phrase "those who do not have a condition to learn English" might be clearer as "those who lack the means to learn English." Additionally, there are a few punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases and inconsistent comma usage in compound sentences.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to word choice to ensure clarity and precision. Proofread for punctuation consistency, specifically regarding commas in compound sentences and after introductory phrases. For instance, in the sentence "First and foremost, the global growth of English could lead to the extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities," a comma after "First and foremost" would improve readability.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and language structures. To elevate your score to the next level, focus on introducing greater variety in sentence structures and refine your word choice and punctuation usage for enhanced clarity and precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that the advantages of the continued expansion of English as an international language outweigh its drawbacks. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this viewpoint.

On the one hand, while English being the most widely used language globally has brought various drawbacks. Primarily, the worldwide expansion of English could result in the extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities. Specifically, as English has become more common, less popular languages in some parts of the world could become less spoken and eventually vanish. This could represent a significant loss to the richness of human culture, as the demise of a language entails the loss of various terms or concepts. Additionally, in terms of education or employment opportunities, those proficient in English are likely to be favored over their counterparts. Thus, to some extent, this could create bias against individuals who lack the means to learn English.

On the other hand, despite these aforementioned drawbacks, I am convinced that English as a global language has brought more positive outcomes. One significant advantage is that English has fostered global communication, particularly in business and commerce. Individuals from different countries can communicate with each other in English, overcoming language barriers. For example, many global organizations such as UNESCO or FIFA have set English as their official language, meaning all member nations can use English to communicate. In addition, as English has become the predominant language in research, technology, and medicine, the majority of knowledge in these domains is documented in English. Hence, this allows those who speak English to access and obtain the most recent information.

In conclusion, despite certain manageable difficulties, English has genuinely facilitated international communication and exposure to the academic community. This is why I completely agree that the benefits of English’s globalization will continue to exceed its drawbacks.

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