The age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020

he bar chart presents the population of Iceland between 1990 to 2020 differentiated by age groups. Each age group is shown by a different bar color. The difference is counted in percent.

Overall, we see a steady increase in the largest popupation of the age group 25-34 years. In the contrary, the children and adulecence groups are fewer for each year

Even though the age group of young adults was the largest with about 30% in year 1990, is has had a overwelming increat to about 50% in 2020 leaving a huge gap to the other age groups. As for the oldest age, it was a slight between 12 and 15%, during the same 30-year period, ending with 14% in 2020.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"he" -> "the"
Explanation: "he" is incorrect in this context as it refers to a masculine pronoun, whereas "the" is the correct article to use before a noun in English.
"bar chart" -> "bar graph"
Explanation: "Bar chart" is a less precise term; "bar graph" is the standard academic term for a graphical representation of data using bars.
"differentiated by age groups" -> "divided by age groups"
Explanation: "Differentiated" can imply a distinction between types or forms, whereas "divided" more accurately conveys the separation of data into categories, which is the intended meaning here.
"Each age group is shown by a different bar color." -> "Each age group is represented by a distinct color."
Explanation: "Represented by" is more formal and precise than "shown by," and "distinct" is more academically appropriate than "different" in this context.
"The difference is counted in percent." -> "The differences are measured in percentages."
Explanation: "The difference" should be pluralized to "differences" to match the plural form of "age groups." Also, "measured in percentages" is more formal and precise than "counted in percent."
"the largest popupation" -> "the largest population"
Explanation: "Popupation" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "population."
"In the contrary, the children and adulecence groups are fewer for each year" -> "Conversely, the child and adolescent groups are fewer each year"
Explanation: "In the contrary" is incorrect; "Conversely" is the correct adverb for contrasting ideas. Also, "children and adulecence" should be corrected to "child and adolescent" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"is has had a overwelming increat" -> "has had an overwhelming increase"
Explanation: "is has" is grammatically incorrect; "has had" is the correct form. "Overwelming" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "overwhelming."
"leaving a huge gap to the other age groups" -> "resulting in a significant gap among the other age groups"
Explanation: "Leaving a huge gap to" is informal and vague; "resulting in a significant gap among" is more precise and formal.
"As for the oldest age, it was a slight between 12 and 15%" -> "For the oldest age group, there was a slight variation of 12 to 15%"
Explanation: "A slight between 12 and 15%" is unclear and grammatically awkward; "a slight variation of 12 to 15%" is clearer and more formal.
"ending with 14% in 2020" -> "ending at 14% in 2020"
Explanation: "Ending with" is less precise; "ending at" is more specific and appropriate in this context, indicating the exact percentage value.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. Instead, it focuses on individual details, such as the percentage of the population in each age group in 1990 and 2020. The essay also contains some inaccuracies, such as the statement that the age group of young adults was the largest with about 30% in year 1990. The chart shows that the age group 25-34 was the largest in 1990, not the age group of young adults.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of the population in the age group 25-34 increased steadily over the period, while the percentage of the population in the other age groups remained relatively stable. The essay could also be improved by providing more accurate information about the data. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of the population in the age group 25-34 increased from about 25% in 1990 to about 50% in 2020.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression and clarity. While it attempts to describe trends in the population data, the lack of clear connections between ideas and the presence of grammatical errors hinder its coherence. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to confusion. The paragraphing is present but not effectively utilized, as ideas are not clearly separated or logically ordered.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly structuring the essay with distinct paragraphs that each present a single main idea. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and ensuring accurate terminology will contribute to a more polished and coherent response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the data presented in the bar chart, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in spelling and word formation (e.g., "popupation," "adulecence," "overwelming," "increat"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. The use of phrases like "the contrary" and "the oldest age" also indicates a lack of precision and appropriateness in word choice. Overall, while the essay conveys some information, the lexical resource is insufficient for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to demographic analysis. Practicing the use of synonyms and less common lexical items can help convey meanings more effectively. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors before submission would improve clarity and professionalism. Engaging with academic texts or resources related to population studies may also provide useful vocabulary and phrases that can be applied in similar tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as "popupation" instead of "population," "adulecence" instead of "adolescence," and "is has had a overwelming increat" which affects clarity. While the meaning can still be understood, these errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. The punctuation is also inconsistent, which further detracts from the overall accuracy.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on expanding their use of complex sentence structures and ensuring grammatical correctness. Proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors is essential. Additionally, practicing the formation of varied sentence types and using a wider range of vocabulary will help improve overall clarity and coherence in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart presents the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020, differentiated by age groups. Each age group is represented by a different bar color, and the differences are measured in percentage.

Overall, there is a steady increase in the largest population segment of the age group 25-34 years. In contrast, the children and adolescence groups show a decline each year.

Although the age group of young adults was the largest, accounting for about 30% in 1990, it has experienced an overwhelming increase to approximately 50% in 2020, creating a significant gap compared to the other age groups. Regarding the oldest age group, the percentage fluctuated slightly between 12% and 15% during the same 30-year period, ending at 14% in 2020.