The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometres travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometres travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given chart provides information about the distance which people in the UK travelled using different means of transportation, namely bicycle, motorbike, air, bus and rail in 1990 and 2000, measured a billion kilometres.

Overall, the distance of each vehicle witnessed an upward trend while the opposite was true for that of bicycles and motorbikes. Another striking feature is that the figure for the distance of bus and rail accounted for the lion’s share over the period.

Looking at the length that people in the UK travelled by bicycles, there was a slight decrease from 7 in 1990 to 5 after 10 years. Likewise, the period of 10 years from 1990 to 2000 also recorded the same trend in the stretch of motorbikes, which fell minimally from 8 to 7 in decade.

In terms of the remaining vehicles, the extent of air that people in the UK used to travel stood at 6 in the first given year. Then, it rose significantly to 9 in 2000. The years from 1990 to 2000 also recorded a moderate growth in the range of rail, which started at only 40 and then climbed to the same level as that of bus.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given chart" -> "The provided chart"
Explanation: "Provided" is a more formal and precise term than "given," which is somewhat informal and less specific in an academic context.
"distance which people in the UK travelled" -> "distance travelled by individuals in the UK"
Explanation: "Distance travelled by individuals in the UK" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "distance which people in the UK travelled."
"namely bicycle, motorbike, air, bus and rail" -> "namely bicycles, motorbikes, air travel, buses, and trains"
Explanation: Using the plural forms "bicycles," "motorbikes," "buses," and "trains" aligns with the plural context of the data, and "air travel" is a more formal term than "air."
"measured a billion kilometres" -> "measured in billions of kilometers"
Explanation: "In billions of kilometers" is a more precise and formal way to express the unit of measurement, and "kilometers" is the standard unit in scientific and academic contexts.
"the distance of each vehicle" -> "the distances of each mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Mode of transportation" is a more specific and formal term than "vehicle," which is too broad and vague in this context.
"the figure for the distance of bus and rail accounted for the lion’s share" -> "the figures for bus and rail travel accounted for the majority"
Explanation: "The figures for bus and rail travel accounted for the majority" is clearer and more formal, avoiding the metaphorical expression "lion’s share."
"Looking at the length that people in the UK travelled by bicycles" -> "Examining the distances travelled by cyclists in the UK"
Explanation: "Examining the distances travelled by cyclists" is more precise and formal, and "cyclists" is a more specific term than "people."
"Likewise, the period of 10 years from 1990 to 2000 also recorded the same trend in the stretch of motorbikes" -> "Similarly, the decade from 1990 to 2000 also exhibited the same pattern in motorbike usage"
Explanation: "Similarly" is more formal than "Likewise," and "exhibited the same pattern in motorbike usage" is more specific and formal than "recorded the same trend in the stretch of motorbikes."
"the extent of air that people in the UK used to travel" -> "the extent of air travel used by individuals in the UK"
Explanation: "The extent of air travel used by individuals in the UK" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "the extent of air that people in the UK used to travel."
"then climbed to the same level as that of bus" -> "then rose to a level comparable to that of buses"
Explanation: "Rose to a level comparable to that of buses" is more formal and avoids the awkward comparison to "the same level as that of bus," which is grammatically incorrect and unclear.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the chart, including the overall trend and the most significant changes. It also makes some comparisons between the different modes of transport. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the distance travelled by bus and rail accounted for the lion’s share over the period, but it does not provide any specific data to support this claim.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific data to support the overview and by extending the key features in more detail. For example, the essay could state that the distance travelled by bus and rail increased by a certain percentage between 1990 and 2000. It could also provide more detail about the changes in the distance travelled by each mode of transport, such as the rate of increase or decrease.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, demonstrating a clear overall progression. The introduction effectively outlines the main features of the bar chart, and the overall trend is stated clearly. However, while cohesive devices are used, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to some mechanical flow. Additionally, the paragraphing is present but not always logical, particularly in the transition between discussing bicycles and motorbikes to the other means of transport, which could confuse the reader.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow between ideas and ensuring that transitions are smooth. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic will also help. Additionally, refining the paragraph structure to ensure that related ideas are grouped together will contribute to a more coherent overall response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items such as "witnessed," "accounted for," and "moderate growth." However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the distance of each vehicle witnessed an upward trend," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "the stretch of motorbikes" instead of "the distance traveled by motorbikes." These errors do not severely impede communication but do detract from the overall clarity and precision of the essay.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices. The writer should focus on using more sophisticated lexical items correctly and ensure that collocations are appropriate. Additionally, improving spelling and grammatical accuracy would enhance the overall quality of the essay. Practicing the use of varied sentence structures and incorporating more complex vocabulary would also contribute to a higher score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While the writer attempts to use a variety of structures, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "the distance of each vehicle witnessed an upward trend" and "the extent of air that people in the UK used to travel stood at 6" could be expressed more clearly. Additionally, some sentences contain punctuation errors, such as missing commas, which can affect the overall readability of the text. Despite these issues, the errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the reader to understand the main ideas presented.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Sentence Structure: Practice using a wider variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring they are grammatically correct.
Punctuation: Review punctuation rules to avoid errors that can confuse the reader. This includes proper use of commas and periods.
Clarity and Precision: Aim for clearer expressions of ideas. For instance, rephrasing awkward sentences can improve overall coherence.
Proofreading: Before submission, take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct any grammatical or punctuation errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given chart provides information about the distance that people in the UK travelled using different means of transportation, namely bicycles, motorbikes, air, bus, and rail, in 1990 and 2000, measured in billion kilometres.

Overall, the distance travelled by each vehicle exhibited an upward trend, while the opposite was true for bicycles and motorbikes. Another striking feature is that the figures for the distance travelled by bus and rail accounted for the lion’s share over the period.

Looking at the distance that people in the UK travelled by bicycles, there was a slight decrease from 7 billion kilometres in 1990 to 5 billion kilometres after 10 years. Likewise, the period from 1990 to 2000 also recorded a similar trend in the distance travelled by motorbikes, which fell minimally from 8 billion kilometres to 7 billion kilometres over the decade.

In terms of the remaining vehicles, the distance travelled by air stood at 6 billion kilometres in the first given year. Then, it rose significantly to 9 billion kilometres in 2000. The years from 1990 to 2000 also recorded moderate growth in the distance travelled by rail, which started at only 4 billion kilometres and then climbed to the same level as that of bus.