The best way to ensure road safety is to make people take the driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is proposed that forcing people to have the driving assessment annually is the most effective way to ensure road safety. From my perspective, while acknowledging the effectiveness of this measure, it is far from the best way due to many reasons discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, it is justifiable to believe that taking the driving test yearly brings many benefits for road safety. The first rationale for this is that frequent tests facilitate drivers to update their knowledge regularly. Such an approach motivates individuals to review traffic rules and adopt safer driving practices. As a result, it ensures that their skills and knowledge of traffic laws remained up-to-date. Another notable advantage is that this approach contributes to identifying high-risk drivers. For example, drivers with bad results may lack driving experience and traffic rule awareness. This leads to the fact that we can classify individuals with irresponsible behaviors and those who consistently violate traffic laws by taking the test each year.
Nevertheless, there are more compelling reasons to believe that such a policy is far from the best approach to assure road safety. First and foremost, it is an impractical approach to deal with this problem. This means that taking the driving test can merely enhance drivers's awareness, while road security depends on various factors ranging from the infrastructure, the number of vehicles, and the traffic laws. Therefore, even if people do the driving assessment annually, it would be ineffective to address this problem in the long term. Furthermore, it would be sustainable to put forward a holistic approach, including stricter law enforcement and awareness enhancement. In terms of the former, if there are more stringent punitive measures, individuals will be deterred from breaking the rules to adopt law-abiding attitudes. In terms of the latter, when there are commuter awareness campaigns, people are encouraged to pursue a conscious lifestyle and long-term behaviors can be established to sustainably ensure road safety.
In conclusion, although taking the driving test would help to enhance driver awareness, this measure alone is not optimal in dealing with multi-faceted problems of road security.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"forcing people" -> "mandating individuals"
Explanation: Replacing "forcing people" with "mandating individuals" maintains a formal tone while avoiding the somewhat forceful connotation of the word "forcing."
"far from the best way" -> "not the most optimal approach"
Explanation: "Far from the best way" is colloquial; "not the most optimal approach" offers a more formal and precise expression, aligning better with academic writing standards.
"discussed in the following paragraphs" -> "elaborated upon later"
Explanation: Instead of directly stating "discussed in the following paragraphs," using "elaborated upon later" maintains a formal tone and hints at further exploration without explicitly referencing subsequent text.
"justifiable to believe" -> "reasonable to argue"
Explanation: "Justifiable to believe" is slightly informal; "reasonable to argue" presents a more formal and academically appropriate phrase.
"facilitate drivers" -> "aid motorists"
Explanation: "Facilitate drivers" is somewhat colloquial; "aid motorists" provides a more formal and refined alternative.
"Such an approach" -> "This method"
Explanation: "Such an approach" can be replaced with "This method" for a more direct and formal expression.
"First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
Explanation: "First and foremost" is more conversational; "primarily" maintains formality and structure in academic writing.
"means that taking" -> "implies that undergoing"
Explanation: "Means that taking" is slightly awkward; "implies that undergoing" offers a more formal and precise phrasing.
"would be sustainable" -> "is advisable"
Explanation: "Would be sustainable" implies a potential future state; "is advisable" presents a stronger suggestion within the present context.
"put forward a holistic approach" -> "propose a comprehensive strategy"
Explanation: "Put forward a holistic approach" is slightly informal; "propose a comprehensive strategy" offers a more formal and academically appropriate phrase.
"awareness enhancement" -> "raising awareness"
Explanation: "Awareness enhancement" could be simplified to "raising awareness" without losing the intended meaning while adhering to a more formal tone.
"if there are more stringent punitive measures" -> "with the implementation of stricter penalties"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence to "with the implementation of stricter penalties" provides a more formal and clearer expression of the idea.
"conscious lifestyle" -> "attentive behavior"
Explanation: "Conscious lifestyle" might be too casual in this context; "attentive behavior" aligns better with formal language in an academic setting.
"In conclusion" -> "To conclude"
Explanation: Both phrases signal the end of the argument, but "To conclude" is slightly more formal in academic writing than "In conclusion."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Quoted text: "Nevertheless, there are more compelling reasons to believe that such a policy is far from the best approach to assure road safety."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction of the opposing viewpoint is effective, setting up a counterargument to the proposed idea. However, it lacks further development or anticipation of the following discussion points, which could enhance the essay’s coherence. To improve, consider briefly outlining the key arguments that counter the idea of annual driving tests for road safety. This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader, guiding them through the subsequent paragraphs that argue against the yearly tests.
- Improved example: "Nevertheless, while annual driving tests are seen as a potential solution, several substantial factors point towards alternative strategies for ensuring road safety. These encompass comprehensive considerations beyond mere tests, including infrastructural improvements, stricter law enforcement, and sustained awareness campaigns. This essay will delve into these multifaceted aspects, advocating for a holistic approach in road safety measures."
Quoted text: "First and foremost, it is an impractical approach to deal with this problem. This means that taking the driving test can merely enhance drivers’ awareness, while road security depends on various factors ranging from the infrastructure, the number of vehicles, and the traffic laws."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The argument begins well by discussing the impracticality of the proposed annual tests. However, it lacks depth in explaining how these factors interplay in ensuring road safety. To bolster this point, provide specific examples or scenarios where infrastructure or traffic laws significantly impact road safety, illustrating how these elements are pivotal beyond just driver awareness.
- Improved example: "Firstly, focusing solely on frequent driving tests overlooks the substantial role of other pivotal elements in ensuring road safety. For instance, the quality of roads, efficient traffic management, and strict adherence to traffic regulations are indispensable factors. Consider a scenario where well-designed roads with clear signage and regulated speed limits significantly reduce accident rates, highlighting the criticality of infrastructure alongside driver competence."
Quoted text: "Furthermore, it would be sustainable to put forward a holistic approach, including stricter law enforcement and awareness enhancement."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay proposes a holistic approach involving stricter law enforcement and awareness campaigns but lacks specific details or examples to support this argument. To strengthen this point, provide instances where stricter law enforcement or successful awareness campaigns have effectively improved road safety, thereby bolstering the argument for a multifaceted approach.
- Improved example: "Moreover, a comprehensive strategy encompassing stringent law enforcement and sustained awareness campaigns has demonstrated efficacy in enhancing road safety. For instance, in cities where stringent penalties for traffic violations are rigorously imposed, a significant decline in accidents and reckless driving incidents has been observed. Similarly, communities where educational campaigns on safe driving practices are consistently conducted showcase a noticeable shift towards responsible driving behaviors."
Overall, the essay adeptly presents counterarguments against the notion of yearly driving tests for road safety. However, to achieve a higher band score, strengthening the depth of examples and providing clearer, specific instances would enhance the overall argumentation and coherence.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas with clear progression throughout. The introduction provides a concise overview of the topic, and each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to a coherent overall structure. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, contributing to the flow of ideas. There is a clear central topic within each paragraph, aiding in the overall coherence of the essay.
However, there are instances of underuse and overuse of cohesive devices, which slightly affects the overall cohesion. For example, in the sentence "To begin with, it is justifiable to believe," a more seamless transition could have been achieved. Additionally, there is room for improvement in the use of referencing and substitution for better clarity.
Paragraphing is generally logical, but there is room for enhancement in ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of annual tests to the drawbacks could be more nuanced.
How to improve:
- Ensure a more seamless use of cohesive devices, avoiding underuse or overuse.
- Pay attention to the transition between paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas.
- Strengthen referencing and substitution for clearer connections between ideas.
- Maintain a consistent focus on the central topic within each paragraph to enhance overall coherence.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There is a mix of common and less common lexical items used appropriately. The writer shows awareness of style and collocation, contributing to a coherent expression of ideas. There are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "drivers’s" (should be "drivers’") and "sustainable to put forward" (could be "more sustainable to put forward"). Additionally, there are minor spelling errors, such as "commuter" instead of "community" and "awareness" in the context. Overall, the essay displays a good command of vocabulary, but occasional inaccuracies affect the overall lexical resource score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should pay closer attention to word choice and spelling accuracy. Reviewing and proofreading the essay can help identify and correct such errors. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of less common vocabulary can further elevate the lexical sophistication.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures, contributing to a Band 7 score. There is good control of grammar and punctuation, with frequent error-free sentences. The writer effectively uses subordinate clauses and employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. However, some errors in grammar and punctuation are present, though they rarely impede communication. For example, "First and foremost, it is an impractical approach to deal with this problem" could be improved by saying "First and foremost, it is impractical to address this problem."
How to improve: To elevate the score, the writer should aim for greater accuracy in grammar and punctuation. While the essay displays proficiency, a more meticulous review and revision process could eliminate minor errors. Additionally, further refinement of sentence structures can enhance the overall fluidity and coherence of the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
The suggestion that mandating an annual driving assessment is the most effective way to guarantee road safety is worth considering. While recognizing its potential benefits, I believe it falls short of being the optimal solution due to several reasons discussed below.
Initially, there is merit in the argument that yearly driving tests offer advantages for road safety. Primarily, frequent assessments encourage drivers to regularly update their knowledge. This approach motivates individuals to revisit traffic rules, fostering safer driving habits and ensuring their skills and understanding of traffic laws remain current. Another notable benefit is the identification of high-risk drivers. For instance, those with poor test results may lack driving experience or awareness of traffic rules, helping classify individuals with irresponsible behaviors or consistent traffic law violations.
Nevertheless, more compelling reasons exist to argue that this policy is not the best approach to ensuring road safety. Firstly, it is impractical in dealing with the problem at hand. While driving tests may enhance awareness, road safety depends on various factors such as infrastructure, the number of vehicles, and traffic laws. Even if people undergo yearly assessments, it would be ineffective in addressing this complex issue in the long term. A more sustainable approach involves a comprehensive strategy, encompassing stricter law enforcement and awareness enhancement. Strengthening punitive measures deters individuals from breaking rules, fostering law-abiding attitudes. Simultaneously, commuter awareness campaigns encourage a conscious lifestyle, establishing long-term behaviors that sustainably ensure road safety.
In conclusion, while driving tests contribute to heightened driver awareness, relying solely on this measure is not optimal in addressing the multifaceted challenges of road security.