fbpx

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A perspective asserts that settling in inner cities rather than in suburbs or rural areas is the primary way to curb traffic and transportation problems. Personally, I am partly in favor of it that while cities may provide contemporary features, namely the number of public transport and safety-relating advantages, other opposing effects, such as the inordinate amount of residents, may occur.

On the one hand, from my perspective, there are evident benefits cities have that can afflict previous problems. Firstly, the volume of public vehicles in those places is far greater and more advanced than in the countryside, which dramatically mitigates commuting issues. Due to the low density of residents, the far-flung areas do not usually comprise adequate public transport causing a massive hindrance from traveling to further sites. As a result, cities with these high-tech amenities are likely to be the most ideal living places. Secondly, traffic laws and road maintenance in highly developed cities are more likely to be able to maintain driving safety for city dwellers reducing accident possibilities. Unlike the majority of roads in non-urban sites being degraded and containing numerous potholes, those in urban ones are completely well-constructed and qualified for their citizens’ safety. However, this trend contains both pros and cons.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that moving to urban cities, along with enhancing people’s transportation, will lead to other drawbacks, and the most prominent one is overpopulation. Indeed, the growth of citizens in big cities has always been a controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space, but the high demand. A reason for this is that people have not carefully considered the numerous downsides of living in a crowded area. Take the significant increase in traffic jams during rush hour as an example. Also, it has both directly or indirectly worsened a variety of issues, not only the traffic one. It is, in fact, the profound factor of the out-of-controlled urban sprawl and badly affects the surrounding hinterlands.

To encapsulate, I personally believe that moving to urban places will solve the traffic and transportation issues by providing public amenities and ensuring safety. Also, it might lead to another phenomenon: having overpopulated citizens.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "a perspective asserts" -> "a perspective posits"
    Explanation: Replacing "asserts" with "posits" adds a more formal and nuanced tone to the statement, aligning it better with academic writing conventions.

  2. "I am partly in favor of it that" -> "I am inclined to support the view that"
    Explanation: Substituting "partly in favor of it that" with "inclined to support the view that" enhances formality and clarity, providing a more sophisticated expression of the writer’s stance.

  3. "namely the number of public transport" -> "specifically, the availability of public transportation"
    Explanation: Changing "namely the number of public transport" to "specifically, the availability of public transportation" clarifies the intended meaning, avoiding awkward phrasing and ensuring precision.

  4. "safety-relating advantages" -> "safety-related advantages"
    Explanation: Adjusting "safety-relating advantages" to "safety-related advantages" corrects the hyphenation and maintains a more standard grammatical structure.

  5. "far greater and more advanced than in the countryside" -> "significantly superior and more advanced than those in rural areas"
    Explanation: Substituting "far greater and more advanced than in the countryside" with "significantly superior and more advanced than those in rural areas" improves precision and elevates the level of vocabulary for a more formal tone.

  6. "comprising adequate public transport causing a massive hindrance" -> "providing sufficient public transport, thereby alleviating a significant hindrance"
    Explanation: Changing "comprising adequate public transport causing a massive hindrance" to "providing sufficient public transport, thereby alleviating a significant hindrance" enhances clarity and avoids the awkward construction of the original phrase.

  7. "Unlike the majority of roads in non-urban sites" -> "In contrast to the roads in rural areas"
    Explanation: Replacing "Unlike the majority of roads in non-urban sites" with "In contrast to the roads in rural areas" improves the transition between ideas and aligns with a more formal style.

  8. "contain numerous potholes" -> "have numerous potholes"
    Explanation: Adjusting "contain numerous potholes" to "have numerous potholes" maintains conciseness and improves grammatical accuracy.

  9. "trend contains both pros and cons" -> "phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages"
    Explanation: Substituting "trend contains both pros and cons" with "phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages" provides a more precise and formal expression of the idea.

  10. "firmly believe" -> "strongly contend"
    Explanation: Replacing "firmly believe" with "strongly contend" adds emphasis and formality to the writer’s conviction.

  11. "big cities" -> "metropolitan areas"
    Explanation: Changing "big cities" to "metropolitan areas" introduces a more sophisticated term that aligns with a formal tone.

  12. "controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space, but the high demand" -> "controversial issue due to the juxtaposition of limited space and high demand"
    Explanation: Substituting "controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space, but the high demand" with "controversial issue due to the juxtaposition of limited space and high demand" enhances the flow and formality of the sentence.

  13. "not only the traffic one" -> "not limited to the traffic aspect"
    Explanation: Changing "not only the traffic one" to "not limited to the traffic aspect" clarifies the statement and aligns with formal language conventions.

  14. "profound factor of the out-of-controlled urban sprawl" -> "significant factor contributing to uncontrolled urban sprawl"
    Explanation: Adjusting "profound factor of the out-of-controlled urban sprawl" to "significant factor contributing to uncontrolled urban sprawl" maintains clarity and uses more advanced vocabulary.

  15. "it might lead to another phenomenon" -> "it may give rise to another phenomenon"
    Explanation: Replacing "it might lead to another phenomenon" with "it may give rise to another phenomenon" enhances formality and precision in expressing the potential outcome.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the perspective that settling in inner cities is the primary solution to traffic and transportation problems. The response discusses both advantages and disadvantages, presenting a balanced view. Relevant sections include the acknowledgment of benefits such as public transport and safety in cities, as well as the concern about overpopulation.
    • How to improve: While the essay does address all parts of the question, there could be a more explicit structure that separates the discussion of benefits and drawbacks. It may benefit from a clearer introduction that outlines the stance and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout. The writer starts by stating a partial agreement with the perspective, then provides arguments supporting this stance, and finally concludes by reiterating the support for the benefits of urban living while acknowledging the drawbacks.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer could consider explicitly stating the position in the introduction, making it easier for the reader to follow the overall stance from the beginning.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, discussing the benefits of living in cities, such as advanced public transport and safety measures. It also extends the discussion by highlighting the drawbacks, particularly the issue of overpopulation, and provides examples to support each point.
    • How to improve: To further develop ideas, the writer might consider providing more specific examples or data to illustrate the impact of overpopulation on traffic and transportation issues. This could strengthen the argument and make it more compelling.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the relationship between urban living and traffic/transportation problems. However, there are instances where the discussion of overpopulation slightly deviates from the main topic. While relevant, the connection to transportation could be made clearer.
    • How to improve: To stay more closely on topic, the writer should ensure that each point made, especially regarding overpopulation, directly relates back to its impact on traffic and transportation.

In summary, this essay demonstrates a strong response to the prompt with a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. To improve, the writer should consider refining the structure for clearer organization and providing more specific examples to strengthen the argument. Additionally, maintaining a tighter focus on the main topic will enhance the overall cohesiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction stating the perspective, followed by well-separated body paragraphs discussing the advantages and drawbacks of living in cities. The conclusion summarizes the main points. However, the transition between the advantages and drawbacks could be smoother. It may benefit from a clearer transition sentence or phrase to guide the reader through the shift in focus.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider incorporating transition sentences that explicitly signal shifts between the positive and negative aspects of the argument. This aids readers in following the structure more seamlessly.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: Paragraphs are used effectively to separate distinct ideas. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately distinct, and there is a clear separation between the discussion of benefits and drawbacks. Each paragraph contains a central idea with supporting details.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph maintains a focused theme, and consider refining topic sentences to more explicitly indicate the central idea of each paragraph. This can contribute to a clearer and more structured presentation of ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as linking words ("On the one hand," "On the other hand," "To encapsulate"). However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of these devices. More varied transitional phrases and cohesive devices could be used to enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: Broaden the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider array of transition words and phrases. For instance, consider using cohesive devices that indicate cause and effect, contrast, or progression to establish stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a generally logical structure and effective use of paragraphs, enhancing the transition between ideas and diversifying the use of cohesive devices will contribute to a more cohesive and coherent essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, but it is somewhat limited. For instance, the repetition of phrases like "traffic and transportation" could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating a more diverse set of synonyms and avoiding repetition. For example, instead of frequently using "traffic and transportation," use alternatives such as "vehicular congestion" or "mobility challenges" where appropriate. Additionally, explore more nuanced vocabulary to express ideas with precision.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits imprecise vocabulary usage in several instances. For example, the phrase "a massive hindrance from traveling to further sites" could be more precisely expressed to convey the idea more accurately.
    • How to improve: Strive for precision by carefully selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. In the mentioned instance, consider rephrasing to something like "a significant impediment to traveling to distant locations." Be attentive to the context and choose words that best capture the nuances of your ideas.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with only minor issues such as "inordinate" (considered less common) and "out-of-controlled" (awkward phrasing).
    • How to improve: Maintain a high level of spelling accuracy, but also be cautious with less common or awkwardly phrased terms. Instead of "out-of-controlled," consider using "uncontrolled" for clearer expression. Regularly proofread to catch any minor spelling inconsistencies and ensure a polished presentation.

In summary, while the essay displays a reasonable level of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of diversity and precision. Paying attention to these aspects will enhance the overall lexical resource score. Additionally, maintain the good spelling standards exhibited but be mindful of less common or awkward terms for more effective communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple, compound, and complex sentences are used, but there is room for improvement in the variety of structures. The repetition of certain sentence patterns can make the writing less engaging. For instance, there is a tendency to begin sentences with "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," limiting the diversity of expression.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating a more diverse set of sentence structures. Experiment with different sentence beginnings, lengths, and complexities. Utilize varied transitions and conjunctions to connect ideas more fluidly. This will add sophistication and fluency to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy, but there are instances of errors and awkward constructions. For example, in the sentence "A perspective asserts that settling in inner cities rather than in suburbs or rural areas is the primary way to curb traffic and transportation problems," the use of "that settling" is awkward and could be improved for clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to sentence structure and grammar to eliminate awkward constructions. Proofread your writing to catch and correct errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and other grammatical aspects. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to refine your skills.

In summary, while the essay displays competence in grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision. By incorporating varied sentence patterns and meticulously proofreading for grammatical nuances, you can elevate the overall quality of your writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

A perspective posits that residing in urban areas instead of suburbs or rural locations is the primary solution to address traffic and transportation problems. I am inclined to support the view that while cities offer modern conveniences, such as advanced public transportation and safety-related advantages, potential drawbacks like excessive population density need careful consideration.

On the positive side, urban areas present notable benefits that can effectively tackle existing transportation challenges. Firstly, the availability of public transportation in cities is significantly superior and more advanced than those in rural areas. This contributes to a substantial alleviation of commuting issues, as densely populated regions often lack adequate public transport, hindering convenient travel to distant locations. Consequently, cities with well-developed transport systems emerge as ideal living spaces. Secondly, the implementation of traffic laws and the maintenance of roads in highly developed cities are considerably better, ensuring driving safety for urban residents and reducing the likelihood of accidents. In contrast to the roads in rural areas, which often have numerous potholes, urban roads are well-constructed and designed to prioritize citizen safety. However, it’s essential to recognize that this phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages.

On the other hand, I strongly contend that the migration to urban cities, while enhancing transportation, may give rise to another phenomenon, particularly overpopulation. The controversial issue of uncontrolled urban sprawl, driven by the juxtaposition of limited space and high demand, becomes a significant factor contributing to this concern. This population surge in urban areas brings forth various downsides that often go unnoticed. For instance, the significant increase in traffic jams during rush hours is a direct consequence. Furthermore, this growth indirectly exacerbates a variety of issues beyond just traffic, profoundly affecting the surrounding hinterlands.

In conclusion, I am partly in favor of the perspective that moving to urban areas can address traffic and transportation problems by providing advanced public amenities and ensuring safety. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that it may give rise to another phenomenon: having overpopulated citizens. Careful consideration of both advantages and drawbacks is necessary when contemplating solutions to the complex issue of urbanization.

Bài viết liên quan

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

119K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

149K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

299K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

159K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

199K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

399K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

VIP

499K/th

  • Everthing in Premium

  • Hand Writing Image Recognition

  • Better Accuracy with GPT-4

  • Early Access to New features

    - Speaking Feedback

  • Customization

    We help with minor customizations to get it working just right.

  • Support Development of New Features

    • Speaking Practice
    • Classroom Management (e.g., Google Class Room)
    • Reading Practice
    • Listening Practice