The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the man features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart above shows information about various professions in the U.K. and their salaries. The table shows the average working hours per week for each profession.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the man features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts illustrate the income and working hours of individuals in different careers within the United Kingdom.

Overall, as can be seen from the charts the salary of all professions increased, while and the ranking remained unchanged for all occupations after three years. Underground drivers were the highest in earning income with the lowest working hours.

According to the bar chart, underground drivers witnessed the highest pay at approximately 49.000 pounds annually per year and received a raise to 51.000 pounds three years later. On the other hand, nurse nursing was the lowest earning had the lowest earning at the beginning of the career from 15.000 pounds to 19.000 pounds after three years.

From the table, the occupations with longest working time which were teachers and firefighters ( 55 hours a week), which explained that they were the 2nd and 3rd pay among the five. However underground driver revived the shorter scheduled with only average of 36 hours per week and highest salary

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "while and the ranking remained unchanged" -> "while the rankings remained unchanged"
   Explanation: Removing the redundant "and" improves the clarity and flow of the sentence.

2. "Underground drivers were the highest in earning income" -> "Underground drivers had the highest earning income"
   Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for grammatical correctness and clarity.

3. "According to the bar chart, underground drivers witnessed the highest pay at approximately 49.000 pounds annually per year" -> "According to the bar chart, underground drivers had the highest annual pay at approximately £49,000"
   Explanation: Simplifying and specifying the currency format, and avoiding repetition of "annually per year".

4. "On the other hand, nurse nursing was the lowest earning had the lowest earning" -> "On the other hand, nursing had the lowest earning"
   Explanation: Clarifying the sentence structure and removing redundancy.

5. "the occupations with longest working time which were teachers and firefighters" -> "the occupations with the longest working hours, namely teachers and firefighters"
   Explanation: Enhancing clarity and specifying that "longest working time" refers to working hours.

6. "which explained that they were the 2nd and 3rd pay among the five" -> "which explains their ranking as 2nd and 3rd among the five"
   Explanation: Improving clarity and coherence by restructuring the sentence.

7. "However underground driver revived the shorter scheduled" -> "However, underground drivers had a shorter schedule"
   Explanation: Correcting grammar and improving clarity.

8. "with only average of 36 hours per week and highest salary" -> "with an average of only 36 hours per week and the highest salary"
   Explanation: Adding the article "an" before "average" for grammatical correctness, and specifying "the highest salary" for clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information presented in the charts regarding professions in the U.K. and their salaries, along with average working hours. The main features are highlighted, such as the increase in salaries across professions over three years and the comparison of salaries and working hours among different occupations.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide a more detailed and coherent overview of the main trends and comparisons. It should focus on presenting key features more fully and accurately, avoiding irrelevant or repetitive details.]

This feedback aligns with the Band 6 descriptor, as the essay addresses the task requirements and presents an overview with appropriately selected information. However, it could benefit from a more thorough and detailed analysis of key features and comparisons.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents some organization by introducing the main topics (salaries and working hours) and providing a general overview. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion. The essay lacks overall progression as it jumps between different professions without clear transitions. Cohesive devices are inadequately used, leading to some disjointedness and repetition ("highest in earning income," "lowest earning had the lowest earning"). Additionally, there are some grammatical errors that hinder clarity.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison of different professions. Ensure consistency in referencing and avoid repetition. Also, strive for grammatical accuracy to improve clarity and coherence within sentences. Finally, consider organizing the essay into paragraphs to improve readability and logical flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition ("charts" and "professions" are used repeatedly). While it adequately summarizes the information provided, it lacks variety and sophistication in lexical choice. There are some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the salary of all professions increased, while and the ranking remained unchanged," where "while and" is not grammatically correct. Additionally, there are spelling errors ("nurse nursing") and inconsistencies in sentence structure and clarity.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, the writer should aim to diversify their vocabulary, avoiding repetition and using more precise and varied terms where appropriate. They should also pay close attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity and coherence. Proofreading for spelling errors is essential to ensure a polished final product.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex forms. There is an effort to present information coherently, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Some complex sentences are attempted, but they tend to be less accurate than simple sentences, leading to occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, "salary of all professions increased, while and the ranking remained unchanged" contains a redundant "while and" which affects clarity. Additionally, there are inconsistencies in the use of singular and plural forms ("salary of all professions increased" vs. "salary of all professions increased" and "nurse nursing").

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining complex sentence structures by ensuring subject-verb agreement, consistent use of singular/plural forms, and clarity in expression. Proofreading for grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies will enhance the overall coherence and readability of the essay. Additionally, aim for more precise vocabulary choices to convey ideas more effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided charts depict the earnings and weekly working hours across various professions in the United Kingdom.

Overall, it is evident that salaries across all occupations experienced an increase over the three-year period, while the ranking of professions remained constant. Underground drivers emerged as the highest earners, despite having the lowest weekly working hours.

According to the bar chart, underground drivers boasted the highest annual salary, starting at approximately £49,000 and rising to £51,000 after three years. Conversely, nurses began with the lowest earnings, starting at £15,000 and reaching £19,000 after the same duration.

Referring to the table, teachers and firefighters had the longest working hours, averaging 55 hours per week, explaining their positions as the second and third highest earners respectively among the five professions. In contrast, underground drivers enjoyed shorter work weeks, averaging only 36 hours, yet still secured the highest salary.