The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates how students aged 11 to 16 go to school in the UK annually.
Overall, most children prefer to walk or go on a bicycle to school if the distance is under 2 miles. However, from 2 to over 5 miles, cars and buses have become the most common means of transport.
From 0 to 1 mile, 90% of children choose to walk on the journey to school, followed by bicycle is considered the second option (50%). Car and bus are not preferred at this distance, at under 10% and almost 0% respectively. From 1 to 2 miles, bicycles become more popular than walking, at around 80%, while cars and buses witness a slight increase in students' choices at 20% and 10%.
Regarding the 2 to 5-mile category, buses are used the most at 50%, followed by bicycles at approximately 47%. Cars and walks are less commonly used, at 32% and 25%, respectively. Over 5 miles, the bus is the most popular type of transport at roughly 68%, while the car is only used by over 20% of students. There is no data for the use of a walk and bicycle during this distance.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "children prefer" -> "children tend to prefer"
   Explanation: Adding "tend to" acknowledges the likelihood of preference without overgeneralizing, enhancing precision.
2. "most common means of transport" -> "predominant modes of transportation"
   Explanation: "Predominant" denotes the primary or most prevalent, elevating the vocabulary to a more sophisticated level.
3. "followed by bicycle is considered the second option" -> "followed by bicycles as the secondary choice"
   Explanation: Restructuring the phrase clarifies the sequence and uses "secondary" instead of "second," which is more precise in this context.
4. "at under 10%" -> "at below 10%"
   Explanation: "Below" is a more precise term to indicate a value under a certain threshold.
5. "witness a slight increase" -> "experience a marginal increase"
   Explanation: "Marginal" suggests a small or minimal increase, conveying a more nuanced understanding of the change.
6. "category, buses are used the most" -> "category, buses are the predominant mode"
   Explanation: Replacing "used the most" with "predominant mode" maintains clarity while using a more sophisticated term.
7. "at roughly 68%" -> "approximately 68%"
   Explanation: "Approximately" is a more precise term to indicate an estimated value, enhancing the accuracy of the statement.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay generally covers the requirements of the Task 1 criteria. It provides a clear overview of how students in the UK travel to school based on the distance, summarizing the main modes of transportation and changes across different distances effectively. The essay presents and highlights key features such as the popularity of walking and biking for shorter distances and the increase in car and bus usage for longer distances. However, the response could be more fully extended with a clearer delineation between data points to enhance the clarity of comparisons and trends across the various transportation modes.

How to improve:
To enhance the essay and potentially move towards a higher band, consider the following:

• Introduce a more detailed and distinct separation of data points when discussing the different mile categories to aid in reader comprehension and enhance the clarity of comparisons.
• Provide a more detailed analysis or summary of why certain trends might be observed, such as why bicycles become more popular than walking at the 1 to 2 miles category, without adding unnecessary hypotheses.
• Ensure that all numerical data are consistently presented with the same formatting to maintain professional appearance and readability.
• Increase the use of comparative language to strengthen the overview of trends, differences, or stages, which could provide a clearer and more analytical perspective on the data presented.
  ]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, maintaining a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, focusing on different distance categories for the journey to school. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, aiding in the flow of information. The essay effectively compares transportation choices based on distance, providing a coherent overview of the data.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences. Additionally, ensure that paragraphing is consistent and logical throughout the essay, maintaining a clear structure for the reader. Pay attention to transitions between paragraphs to strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in conveying information about the journey to school. The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, covering terms such as "illustrates," "annually," "common means of transport," "preferred," "witness a slight increase," and "category." Additionally, less common lexical items like "witness" and "category" are appropriately employed. The essay shows awareness of style and collocation, with phrases like "overall," "from 0 to 1 mile," and "regarding the 2 to 5-mile category" contributing to coherence. Although there are occasional errors in word choice (e.g., "choose" instead of "chose") and some minor inaccuracies in word formation (e.g., "walks" instead of "walking"), they do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, pay attention to minor inaccuracies in word choice and word formation. Ensure consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay. Additionally, aim for more sophisticated lexical choices where appropriate to enhance the overall sophistication of the language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, with a variety of complex structures used effectively throughout. The sentences are generally error-free, and the essay communicates the information clearly and effectively.

How to improve: To potentially improve to a Band 8, aim for even greater flexibility and accuracy in the use of structures. While the essay is strong overall, paying attention to minor errors and refining complex sentence structures could further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart delineates the modes of transportation utilized by students aged 11 to 16 for their school commute across varying distances in the UK annually.

Primarily, it is evident that a significant majority of youngsters opt for walking or cycling to school, particularly if the distance spans less than 2 miles. However, for distances extending beyond 2 miles up to over 5 miles, cars and buses emerge as the predominant modes of transport.

Within the 0 to 1-mile radius, a remarkable 90% of children prefer walking, with cycling being the second most favored option at 50%. Conversely, car and bus usage is minimal, accounting for under 10% and nearly 0% respectively. As the distance extends from 1 to 2 miles, cycling surpasses walking in popularity, comprising approximately 80% of choices, while cars and buses observe a marginal rise in preference, reaching 20% and 10% respectively.

In the 2 to 5-mile category, buses emerge as the preferred mode of transportation, utilized by 50% of students, closely followed by cycling at around 47%. Car usage increases slightly to 32%, while walking diminishes to 25%. Beyond the 5-mile mark, buses remain the dominant choice, utilized by approximately 68% of students, whereas car usage rises to over 20%. Data regarding walking and cycling for distances exceeding 5 miles is unavailable.

Overall, the data depicts a clear trend wherein shorter distances favor active modes of transport such as walking and cycling, while longer distances necessitate the use of motorized vehicles, predominantly buses and cars.