The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The statistics illustrate how much money was spent time different items in France and the UK in 2010, measured in pound terms.
As a whole, the number of car products, which had the highest figure for both France and the UK. Furthermore, France had more payment computers and perfume than the UK, whereas the remaining groups showed a contrary tendency.
When it came to cars, the UK paid 450,000 pounds, which was 50,000 pounds more than France.In contrast, the total cost of computers in France was approximately 365,000 pounds in 2010, exceeding the data for the United Kingdom by 20,000.
In terms of principal products consumed, books are the most popular item in France, accounting for almost 295,000 pounds, almost twice as much as perfume. Cameras weighing 160,000 pounds were at the bottom of the list.In the UK, however, cameras were purchased with more money than perfume, with values of around 350,000 and 150,000, respectively, even if books continued to be the most expensive item (data estimated at about 300,000 pounds).

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"spent time different items" -> "spent on different items"
Explanation: The phrase "spent time different items" is grammatically incorrect. The correct phrase "spent on different items" is grammatically accurate and appropriate for formal writing.
"car products" -> "car products"
Explanation: The term "car products" is unclear and imprecise. It is likely that the intended meaning is "car purchases" or "cars," which should be specified for clarity and accuracy.
"payment computers" -> "computers"
Explanation: The term "payment computers" is unclear and potentially confusing. "Computers" is the correct term to refer to the category of goods.
"contrary tendency" -> "contrary trend"
Explanation: "Contrary tendency" is less common and slightly awkward in this context. "Contrary trend" is more precise and commonly used in academic discourse.
"paid 450,000 pounds" -> "spent £450,000"
Explanation: Using the symbol "£" for the pound is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than the word "pounds."
"the total cost of computers in France was approximately 365,000 pounds" -> "the total expenditure on computers in France was approximately £365,000"
Explanation: "Expenditure" is more precise than "cost" in this context, and using "£" is more formal.
"the data for the United Kingdom by 20,000" -> "the expenditure in the United Kingdom exceeded that in France by £20,000"
Explanation: The revised phrase clarifies the comparison and uses "exceeded" to describe the relationship between the expenditures.
"principal products consumed" -> "primary products consumed"
Explanation: "Principal" can imply a sense of importance or leadership, which might be misleading in this context. "Primary" is more neutral and appropriate for describing the main items.
"almost twice as much as perfume" -> "more than twice that of perfume"
Explanation: The phrase "almost twice as much as perfume" is somewhat informal and vague. "More than twice that of perfume" is more precise and formal.
"cameras weighing 160,000 pounds" -> "cameras costing £160,000"
Explanation: "Weighing" is incorrect as cameras are not typically measured by weight in this context. "Costing" is the correct term for describing the monetary value of goods.
"with values of around 350,000 and 150,000" -> "valued at approximately £350,000 and £150,000"
Explanation: "Valued at" is more precise and formal than "with values of," and using "£" is more appropriate for monetary values in British currency.
"even if books continued to be the most expensive item" -> "despite books remaining the most expensive item"
Explanation: "Even if" is less formal and slightly awkward in this context. "Despite" is more appropriate for contrasting information in formal writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the chart, including the highest spending categories for each country and some comparisons. However, the essay does not fully address all the requirements of the task. For example, it does not provide a clear overview of the overall trends in spending between the two countries. Additionally, the essay includes some irrelevant details, such as the specific amounts spent on each item.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in spending between the two countries. For example, the essay could state that France spent more on computers and perfume than the UK, while the UK spent more on cars and cameras. The essay could also be improved by removing irrelevant details, such as the specific amounts spent on each item. Instead, the essay could focus on comparing the relative spending on different items between the two countries. For example, the essay could state that France spent significantly more on books than perfume, while the UK spent more on cameras than perfume.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare expenditures between France and the UK, the transitions between points are not always clear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the comparisons. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not effectively utilized, as the ideas within paragraphs do not flow logically.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring that each paragraph develops a single idea. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, can help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, organizing the essay into distinct paragraphs that follow a logical sequence will aid in presenting a clearer overall progression of information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the data, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, particularly in phrases such as "the most popular item" and "the bottom of the list." There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "payment computers" instead of "spending on computers," and "weighing" when referring to monetary values, which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Additionally, there are errors in spelling and punctuation, such as "pound terms" instead of "pounds" and missing spaces after commas. Overall, the vocabulary does not sufficiently convey precise meanings and lacks the sophistication expected at higher band levels.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items that are relevant to the context. This could involve using synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition. Additionally, improving accuracy in word choice and ensuring correct collocations will help convey meanings more precisely. Paying attention to spelling and punctuation will also enhance clarity. Finally, practicing the use of more sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures can contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex sentences. While there are some accurate structures, frequent grammatical errors are present, particularly in subject-verb agreement and punctuation, which can cause difficulty for the reader. For example, phrases like "the highest figure for both France and the UK" are awkwardly constructed, and there are issues with clarity in sentences such as "the number of car products, which had the highest figure for both France and the UK." Additionally, there are run-on sentences and missing commas that affect the overall readability of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. It is also important to proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve punctuation. Practicing writing with a focus on clarity and coherence will help in producing more error-free sentences. Engaging with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can further aid in developing a stronger command of English grammar.

Bài sửa mẫu

The statistics illustrate how much money was spent on different items in France and the UK in 2010, measured in pounds. Overall, car products had the highest expenditure for both France and the UK. Furthermore, France had higher spending on computers and perfume than the UK, whereas the remaining categories showed a contrary trend.

When it came to cars, the UK spent 450,000 pounds, which was 50,000 pounds more than France. In contrast, the total expenditure on computers in France was approximately 365,000 pounds in 2010, exceeding that of the United Kingdom by 20,000 pounds.

In terms of principal products consumed, books were the most popular item in France, accounting for almost 295,000 pounds, which is nearly twice as much as spent on perfume. Cameras, at 160,000 pounds, were at the bottom of the list. In the UK, however, cameras were purchased for more than perfume, with expenditures of around 350,000 pounds and 150,000 pounds, respectively, even though books remained the most expensive item, with an estimated value of about 300,000 pounds.