The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011, and 2015.
The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011, and 2015.
The bar chart indicates how many families in the US were grouped by their yearly salary in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Overall, the number of households earning $100,000 or more generally were the highest. By contrast, families that received $75,000-$99,999 per year was the lowest.
With regard to 2007, the number of households in the United State who earn less than $25,000 were approximately 25 million, before witnessing a moderately increase to 28 million in 2011. After four years, this figure slightly decreased to about 27 million. The number of families who received $25,000-$49,999 each year were 26 million in 2007, after which it saw a marked growth to 30 million in 2011. Afterwards, the data declined minimally to 28 million in 2015.
Turning to the annual income of those families at $50,000-$74,000 and $75,000-$99,999 remained relatively stable across all three years, hovering around 20 million and 15 million respectively. Specifically, families with an annual income exceeding $100,000 was the highest in 2007, at 29 million, before dropping noticeably to 26 million in 2011, only to experience a rocket to approximately 33 million after four years.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The bar chart indicates" -> "The bar chart depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "indicates" in the context of visual representations like bar charts, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"families in the US were grouped by their yearly salary" -> "families in the United States were categorized by their annual income"
Explanation: "Categorized by their annual income" is more specific and formal than "grouped by their yearly salary," and "United States" should be capitalized for proper noun usage. -
"families that received $75,000-$99,999 per year was the lowest" -> "families earning $75,000-$99,999 per year were the lowest"
Explanation: "Earning" is more accurate and formal than "received" in this context, and "were" agrees with the plural subject "families." -
"the number of households in the United State who earn less than $25,000" -> "the number of households in the United States earning less than $25,000"
Explanation: "Earning" is more appropriate than "earn" for the present tense, and "United States" should be capitalized for proper noun usage. -
"witnessing a moderately increase" -> "experiencing a moderate increase"
Explanation: "Experiencing" is more precise and formal than "witnessing" in this context, and "moderate" should be hyphenated as an adjective. -
"After four years, this figure slightly decreased to about 27 million" -> "After four years, this figure decreased slightly to approximately 27 million"
Explanation: "Decreased slightly" is grammatically correct, and "approximately" is more formal than "about." -
"The number of families who received $25,000-$49,999 each year were" -> "The number of families earning $25,000-$49,999 annually"
Explanation: "Earning" is more precise and formal than "received," and "annually" is more formal than "each year." -
"Afterwards, the data declined minimally to 28 million" -> "Subsequently, the data decreased minimally to 28 million"
Explanation: "Subsequently" is more formal than "Afterwards," and "decreased" is grammatically correct compared to "declined." -
"families with an annual income exceeding $100,000 was the highest" -> "families with an annual income exceeding $100,000 were the highest"
Explanation: "Were" agrees with the plural subject "families," correcting the grammatical error. -
"dropping noticeably to 26 million" -> "decreasing noticeably to 26 million"
Explanation: "Decreasing" is more precise and formal than "dropping" in this context. -
"experience a rocket to approximately 33 million" -> "experience a significant increase to approximately 33 million"
Explanation: "Experience a rocket" is informal and incorrect; "experience a significant increase" is the correct and formal expression.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses all the requirements of the task and presents an overview of the data. The essay adequately highlights key features/bullet points, but some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the number of households earning $75,000-$99,999 per year was the lowest, but this is not accurate. The essay also states that the number of households earning $50,000-$74,000 and $75,000-$99,999 remained relatively stable across all three years, but this is not entirely accurate. The number of households earning $50,000-$74,000 increased slightly from 2007 to 2011, and the number of households earning $75,000-$99,999 decreased slightly from 2007 to 2011.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the trends in the data. For example, instead of saying that the number of households earning $25,000-$49,999 each year saw a marked growth to 30 million in 2011, the essay could say that the number of households earning $25,000-$49,999 each year increased by 4 million from 2007 to 2011.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression of ideas. It uses cohesive devices effectively, although there are instances of mechanical cohesion, particularly in the transitions between some sentences. The paragraphing is present but could be improved for better logical flow and clarity. The central topics within paragraphs are generally clear, but some details may lead to confusion regarding the overall structure.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that transitions between ideas are smooth and natural. Additionally, clearer topic sentences for each paragraph could help guide the reader through the essay more effectively. Lastly, ensuring that all figures and comparisons are clearly referenced will help avoid any potential confusion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, allowing for clear communication of the data presented in the chart. However, there are attempts to use less common vocabulary that are marred by inaccuracies, such as "moderately increase" instead of "moderate increase" and "rocket" which is an informal term that does not fit the context. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling, such as "United State" instead of "United States," which detracts from the overall clarity. These issues prevent the essay from reaching a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms. Practicing with synonyms and collocations relevant to the topic can help improve lexical flexibility. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors would aid in achieving clearer communication.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. While the writer attempts to use a variety of structures, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For instance, phrases like "before witnessing a moderately increase" and "the annual income of those families at $50,000-$74,000 and $75,000-$99,999 remained relatively stable" could be improved for grammatical accuracy and coherence. Overall, while the communication is mostly effective, the errors in grammar and punctuation do detract from the overall quality of the writing.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Grammar and Punctuation: Review and correct verb forms and pluralization, such as changing "a moderately increase" to "a moderate increase" and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
- Complex Sentences: Incorporate more complex sentence structures while ensuring they are grammatically correct. This could involve using subordinate clauses more effectively.
- Clarity and Cohesion: Work on improving the clarity of sentences by avoiding awkward phrasing and ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next. This will enhance overall readability and comprehension.
Bài sửa mẫu
The bar chart indicates how many families in the US were grouped by their yearly salary in 2007, 2011, and 2015.
Overall, the number of households earning $100,000 or more was generally the highest. In contrast, families that received between $75,000 and $99,999 per year had the lowest numbers.
With regard to 2007, the number of households in the United States earning less than $25,000 was approximately 25 million, before witnessing a moderate increase to 28 million in 2011. After four years, this figure slightly decreased to about 27 million. The number of families earning between $25,000 and $49,999 each year was 26 million in 2007, after which it saw a marked growth to 30 million in 2011. Subsequently, the data declined minimally to 28 million in 2015.
Turning to the annual income of families earning between $50,000 and $74,999 and those earning $75,000 to $99,999, these figures remained relatively stable across all three years, hovering around 20 million and 15 million, respectively. Specifically, families with an annual income exceeding $100,000 were the highest in 2007, at 29 million, before dropping noticeably to 26 million in 2011, only to experience a significant rise to approximately 33 million after four years.
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