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The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart are comparing average salary of families in three different years.
Overall, there is no significant differences between years, showing stability in income.
Initially, the number of families with annual income of 50.000 to 74.999 dollars remained the same in 2007, 2011 and 2015 at a peak of around 20 millions. Furthermore, average salary of 25.000 to 49.999 dollars was only in just over 25 millons households in 2007, thereafter the number had grown to 30 millions by 2011. Finally, the amount of houses earning less 25.000 dollars rose from 25 millions in 2007 to above 33 millons in 2011 and 2015.
Moreover, the annual income of 75.000 to 99.999 dollars were only approximately 15 millions, remaining almost the same in each three years and beings the lowest average wage. However, the number of families earning 100.000 and more dollars was only just under 30 millons in 2007, followed by dramatic increase up to around 33 million in 2015.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "are comparing" -> "compares"
    Explanation: The subject "bar chart" is singular, so it requires the singular verb "compares" for grammatical agreement.

  2. "no significant differences" -> "no significant difference"
    Explanation: "Differences" should be singular to match the context of comparing the years, as it refers to the overall comparison rather than multiple differences.

  3. "showing stability in income" -> "indicating stability in income levels"
    Explanation: "Indicating" is more precise than "showing," and "income levels" adds specificity, enhancing clarity.

  4. "remained the same" -> "remained constant"
    Explanation: "Constant" is a more formal and precise term than "the same," which improves the academic tone.

  5. "at a peak of around 20 millions" -> "at a peak of approximately 20 million"
    Explanation: "Approximately" is more formal than "around," and "million" should be singular when used with a numerical value.

  6. "was only in just over 25 millons households" -> "was recorded in just over 25 million households"
    Explanation: "Recorded" adds clarity and formality, and "million" should be singular.

  7. "thereafter the number had grown" -> "subsequently, the number grew"
    Explanation: "Subsequently" is more formal than "thereafter," and "grew" is more direct than "had grown," improving clarity.

  8. "amount of houses earning less 25.000 dollars" -> "number of households earning less than $25,000"
    Explanation: "Number" is more appropriate than "amount" for countable nouns, "households" is the correct term, and "less than" is the accurate phrase.

  9. "rose from 25 millions" -> "increased from 25 million"
    Explanation: "Increased" is a more formal alternative to "rose," and "million" should be singular.

  10. "being the lowest average wage" -> "representing the lowest average income"
    Explanation: "Representing" is more formal than "being," and "income" is more precise than "wage" in this context.

  11. "the number of families earning 100.000 and more dollars" -> "the number of families earning $100,000 or more"
    Explanation: "$100,000 or more" is clearer and more standard in academic writing.

  12. "was only just under 30 millons" -> "was just under 30 million"
    Explanation: "Just under" is sufficient without "only," and "million" should be singular.

  13. "followed by dramatic increase" -> "followed by a dramatic increase"
    Explanation: The article "a" is necessary for grammatical correctness before "dramatic increase."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the data, but it does not present a clear overview of the main trends. The essay also presents some inaccurate information, such as stating that the number of families earning less than $25,000 rose from 25 million in 2007 to above 33 million in 2011 and 2015. The data shows that the number of families earning less than $25,000 rose from 25 million in 2007 to 33 million in 2011, but then decreased to 28 million in 2015.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by ensuring that the information presented is accurate. The writer should also avoid using informal language, such as "average salary" and "average wage." Instead, the writer should use more formal language, such as "annual income" and "household income."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare income categories over the years, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the comparisons being made. Additionally, paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay lacks distinct sections that would help in organizing the information more logically.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly structuring the essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the data. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help in linking ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensuring that comparisons are clearly articulated and logically sequenced will improve the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information about the bar chart, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, such as "millions" and "families." There are noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as "are comparing" instead of "compares," "differences" instead of "difference," and "millons" instead of "millions." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader, impacting overall clarity.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise terms related to data and comparisons. Incorporating less common lexical items, improving spelling accuracy, and avoiding repetition would also benefit the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using synonyms could help convey the information more effectively and demonstrate a greater command of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at more complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ("The bar chart are comparing"), incorrect article usage ("the amount of houses earning less 25.000 dollars"), and punctuation issues ("50.000 to 74.999 dollars remained the same"). These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. While the essay attempts to convey information clearly, the inaccuracies and limited variety in sentence structure hinder its effectiveness.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

  1. Variety in Sentence Structure: Incorporate more complex sentences and subordinate clauses to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
  2. Error Correction: Review and correct common grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage.
  3. Punctuation Practice: Ensure proper punctuation throughout the essay to improve clarity and readability.
  4. Proofreading: Take time to revise the essay for minor slips and inaccuracies that can detract from the overall quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart compares the average income of households in the US across three different years: 2007, 2011, and 2015. Overall, there are no significant differences between the years, indicating stability in income levels.

Initially, the number of families with an annual income of $50,000 to $74,999 remained constant at a peak of around 20 million in 2007, 2011, and 2015. Furthermore, the average income bracket of $25,000 to $49,999 started with just over 25 million households in 2007, and subsequently grew to 30 million by 2011. Finally, the number of households earning less than $25,000 rose from 25 million in 2007 to above 33 million in both 2011 and 2015.

Moreover, the annual income category of $75,000 to $99,999 was approximately 15 million, remaining almost the same in all three years and representing the lowest average income. However, the number of families earning $100,000 or more was just under 30 million in 2007, followed by a dramatic increase to around 33 million by 2015.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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