The chart below shows the number three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The chart provide a comparison of threes kind of people who visits museum from 1997 to 2012.
Overall, the amount of adults was the highest in threes types of visitors to museum although special exhibition visitors was the lowest. A number of adults visitor grew sharply and people visited museum in special exhibition had increased from period years while visitors aged under 15 had a downward trend.
A number of adults visitors stabilized aproximately 300,000 from 1997 to 2002 then grew to 380,000 in 2012 after hit a highest point at 400,500 in 2007. Even a number of people who came to museum in special Exhibition had a lowest peek at 28,000 in 1997, it climed gradually and reach a peak at 42,000 in 2012. While children under 15 declined stably from 120,000 to 82,300 between 1997 and 2012.
It can be clearly seen that the a total of visitors to museum had grew significantly from period years. Although it had a slightly drop to 441,200 in 2002 but in 2007, an overall figure hit at highest point with dramatically increased to 525,200. Then it fall slightly to 504,300 in 2012.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The chart provide" -> "The chart provides"
Explanation: Correcting the verb tense to "provides" aligns with the singular subject "chart," which is a singular noun.
"threes kind of people" -> "three kinds of people"
Explanation: Correcting "threes" to "three" addresses a numerical error, and changing "kind of" to "kinds of" is grammatically correct for plural forms.
"visits museum" -> "visit the museum"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "museum" corrects the article usage, and changing "visits" to "visit" agrees with the plural subject "people."
"although special exhibition visitors was" -> "although special exhibition visitors were"
Explanation: Correcting "was" to "were" matches the plural subject "visitors."
"A number of adults visitor" -> "The number of adult visitors"
Explanation: Changing "A number of" to "The number of" corrects the definite article usage, and "adult" should be pluralized to "adults" to agree with the plural "visitors."
"grew sharply" -> "increased significantly"
Explanation: "Increased significantly" is a more precise and formal way to describe a notable change in quantity.
"people visited museum in special exhibition" -> "visitors to special exhibitions"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "visitors to special exhibitions" improves clarity and maintains formal tone.
"had a downward trend" -> "experienced a decline"
Explanation: "Experienced a decline" is a more formal and precise way to describe a downward trend in data.
"aproximately" -> "approximately"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "aproximately" to "approximately" addresses a typographical error.
"then grew to 380,000 in 2012 after hit a highest point" -> "then increased to 380,000 in 2012, reaching a peak"
Explanation: Replacing "hit a highest point" with "reaching a peak" corrects the awkward construction and enhances formality.
"Even a number of people who came to museum in special Exhibition" -> "Even the number of visitors to special exhibitions"
Explanation: Correcting "museum" to "museums" and "Exhibition" to "exhibitions" for plural agreement, and rephrasing for clarity and formality.
"it climed" -> "it climbed"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "climed" to "climbed" addresses a typographical error.
"reach a peak at 42,000" -> "reached a peak of 42,000"
Explanation: Changing "reach" to "reached" corrects the verb tense to match the past context, and adding "of" after "peak" improves grammatical accuracy.
"declined stably" -> "declined steadily"
Explanation: "Steadily" is the correct adverb for describing a consistent decline, replacing the incorrect "stably."
"It can be clearly seen that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "It can be clearly seen that."
"a total of visitors to museum had grew" -> "the total number of visitors to museums had increased"
Explanation: Correcting "grew" to "increased" for verb tense consistency, and "visitors to museum" to "visitors to museums" for plural agreement, and specifying "number" for clarity.
"an overall figure hit at highest point" -> "the overall figure reached its highest point"
Explanation: "Reached its highest point" is a more precise and formal expression than "hit at highest point."
"Then it fall slightly" -> "Then it fell slightly"
Explanation: Correcting "fall" to "fell" addresses a verb tense inconsistency.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and readability of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the information in the chart, but it does not fully address all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. It also does not adequately highlight the key features of the chart. For example, the essay states that the number of adult visitors stabilized at approximately 300,000 from 1997 to 2002, but it does not mention that the number of adult visitors actually increased slightly during this period. The essay also does not mention that the number of special exhibition visitors increased more rapidly than the number of adult visitors.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, differences, and stages in the chart. The essay could also be improved by highlighting the key features of the chart more effectively. For example, the essay could mention that the number of adult visitors increased steadily from 1997 to 2012, while the number of visitors aged under 15 decreased steadily during the same period. The essay could also mention that the number of special exhibition visitors increased more rapidly than the number of adult visitors.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare the three types of visitors, the flow of ideas is not always clear, and there are instances of inadequate referencing and repetition. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, leading to some confusion in the connections between ideas. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not always logical, which detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information and ensuring a clear progression of ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and avoiding repetitive phrases. Improving the clarity of referencing and ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct central topic would also help. Additionally, refining the use of paragraphing to clearly separate different ideas or comparisons would contribute to a more coherent structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information about the visitor statistics, there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and grammatical structures that may cause some difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like "threes kind of people" and "aproximately" indicate a lack of control over word formation and spelling. Additionally, the use of terms like "lowest peek" instead of "lowest peak" reflects inaccuracies in vocabulary usage. Overall, the essay communicates the main ideas but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher band levels.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to data description and comparison. Practicing the correct spelling of common words and ensuring proper word formation will also help. Furthermore, using synonyms and less common lexical items appropriately can improve the sophistication of the language. Lastly, reviewing grammatical structures and ensuring clarity in expression will contribute to a more polished and effective essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("provide" should be "provides," "climed" should be "climbed," "had a lowest peek" should be "had the lowest peak"), and issues with punctuation and word choice ("threes" instead of "three," "aproximately" instead of "approximately"). These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including more complex sentences, to demonstrate grammatical flexibility.
Proofreading: Carefully proofread the essay to catch and correct spelling and grammatical errors before submission.
Practice Grammar Rules: Review and practice common grammatical rules, particularly verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, to reduce errors in future essays.
Use Transitional Phrases: Employ transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas and enhance coherence, which can also help in constructing more complex sentences.

Bài sửa mẫu

The chart provides a comparison of three kinds of people who visit the museum from 1997 to 2012. Overall, the number of adults was the highest among the three types of visitors to the museum, while special exhibition visitors had the lowest numbers. The number of adult visitors grew sharply, and the people visiting the museum for special exhibitions increased over the years, while visitors aged under 15 showed a downward trend.

The number of adult visitors stabilized at approximately 300,000 from 1997 to 2002, then grew to 380,000 in 2012 after reaching a highest point of 400,500 in 2007. Although the number of people who came to the museum for special exhibitions had the lowest peak at 28,000 in 1997, it climbed gradually to reach a peak of 42,000 in 2012. Meanwhile, the number of children under 15 declined steadily from 120,000 to 82,300 between 1997 and 2012.

It can be clearly seen that the total number of visitors to the museum grew significantly over the years. Although there was a slight drop to 441,200 in 2002, by 2007, the overall figure reached its highest point, dramatically increasing to 525,200. Then it fell slightly to 504,300 in 2012.