The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The graph depicts the household proportion of private and rental accommodation in 2 different countries, namely England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overrall, it is noticeable that the two affordmentioned figures were in the same level in the year of 1971. Additionally, accomodation-owned household had an upward trend during the period, while a reverse pattern can be seen in the one remaining.
In 1918, the percentage of family possessing their own house was the highest number number so far, at over 75%. Then, they witnessed a slight decrease to 50% 53 years later. The figure for household who rented living place started at over 20%, before reaching 50% in 1971.
Since 1971, the rate of owning an accomodation had started to went down gradually, and it ended up at around 36% in 2011, after rasing from 31% in 2001. That of renting had continued to peak at approximately 69% in 2001, and the final its final number in 10 years later is 63% due to a little slide in this period.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Overrall" -> "Overall"
Explanation: "Overrall" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "Overall" maintains the formal tone and accuracy of the academic text.
"affordmentioned" -> "mentioned"
Explanation: "Affordmentioned" is not a word. The correct term is "mentioned," which is used to refer to something previously discussed.
"accomodation-owned" -> "home-ownership"
Explanation: "Accomodation-owned" is incorrect and unclear. "Home-ownership" is the standard term used in academic and formal contexts to refer to the state of owning a home.
"a reverse pattern can be seen in the one remaining" -> "a reverse pattern is evident in the remaining"
Explanation: The phrase "the one remaining" is unclear and awkward. "A reverse pattern is evident in the remaining" is more precise and grammatically correct.
"the percentage of family possessing their own house" -> "the percentage of households owning their own homes"
Explanation: "Family" is too informal and imprecise in this context. "Households" is the correct term, and "owning their own homes" is more formal and specific.
"the highest number number" -> "the highest"
Explanation: "The highest number number" is redundant and grammatically incorrect. "The highest" is sufficient and correct.
"Then, they witnessed a slight decrease to 50% 53 years later." -> "Then, they experienced a slight decrease to 50% 53 years later."
Explanation: "Witnessed" is less formal and can be replaced with "experienced," which is more appropriate for academic writing.
"The figure for household who rented living place" -> "The proportion of households renting their residences"
Explanation: "The figure for household who rented living place" is awkward and informal. "The proportion of households renting their residences" is more formal and precise.
"started to went down" -> "began to decline"
Explanation: "Started to went down" is grammatically incorrect. "Began to decline" is grammatically correct and maintains a formal tone.
"after rasing from" -> "after rising from"
Explanation: "Rasing" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "rising" fixes the spelling mistake and maintains the formal tone.
"the final its final number in 10 years later" -> "the final figure in 10 years"
Explanation: "The final its final number in 10 years later" is awkward and redundant. "The final figure in 10 years" is clearer and more concise.
"a little slide" -> "a slight decline"
Explanation: "A little slide" is informal and vague. "A slight decline" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing an overview of the information in the chart. However, the overview is not clear and the essay does not adequately cover the key features of the chart. For example, the essay states that the percentage of households owning their own homes was the highest in 1918, but it does not provide any specific figures to support this claim. The essay also fails to make clear comparisons between the two types of accommodation.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the information in the chart and by making more specific comparisons between the two types of accommodation. The essay could also be improved by using more accurate and precise language. For example, instead of saying "the figure for household who rented living place started at over 20%", the essay could say "the percentage of households renting their accommodation started at over 20%".

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While the main features of the graph are mentioned, the ideas are not arranged coherently, leading to confusion in understanding the trends. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the relationships between ideas. For example, phrases like "the two affordmentioned figures" and "the final its final number" are awkward and detract from the overall flow. Furthermore, the paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay does not clearly separate different ideas or trends, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically, ensuring a clear progression throughout the essay. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and avoiding redundancy will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, improving paragraph structure by clearly delineating different points or trends will make the essay easier to follow. Finally, proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing will contribute to a more polished and coherent response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the data, the use of vocabulary is repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors in spelling (e.g., "Overrall," "accomodation," "affordmentioned," "accomodation-owned," "rasing," "its final number") and word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay does attempt to use some less common vocabulary, but inaccuracies in word choice and collocation hinder clarity. Overall, the lexical resource is constrained and does not meet the criteria for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to the topic. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate spelling and grammatical errors is essential. Practicing the use of synonyms and less common lexical items, while ensuring correct collocation, will also improve the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, the accuracy of these attempts is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as "the two affordmentioned figures" (should be "aforementioned"), "accomodation-owned household" (should be "accommodation-owned households"), and "started to went down" (should be "started to go down"). These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. Additionally, punctuation issues and awkward phrasing detract from the overall clarity of the essay.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures by incorporating more complex sentences and ensuring that they are accurate. Practicing the correct use of tenses and subject-verb agreement will help reduce errors. Additionally, improving vocabulary and phrasing can enhance clarity and coherence, making the essay easier to read and understand. Regular proofreading can also help identify and correct grammatical mistakes before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The graph depicts the proportion of households in owned and rented accommodation in two countries, namely England and Wales, from 1918 to 2011.

Overall, it is noticeable that the two aforementioned figures were at the same level in 1971. Additionally, the percentage of households owning accommodation exhibited an upward trend during the period, while a reverse pattern can be observed in rented accommodation.

In 1918, the percentage of families owning their own homes was the highest recorded, at over 75%. This figure then experienced a slight decrease to 50% 53 years later. In contrast, the percentage of households renting their living spaces started at over 20% and reached 50% in 1971.

Since 1971, the rate of home ownership began to decline gradually, ending at around 36% in 2011, after rising from 31% in 2001. Meanwhile, the percentage of renting households peaked at approximately 69% in 2001, and its final figure ten years later was 63%, reflecting a slight decline during this period.