The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart provides information about the proportion of households owning and renting accommodations in England and Wales over a 93-year period from 1918.
Overally, the figure for household accommodations owned by residents in England and Wales showed a tendency to rise, while rented households experienced a considerably downward trend.
In 1918, nearly 80% of households were hired by people in England and Wales. Since rhen, it plummeted significantly to an estimate of 50% in 1971, which was the same of those in owned accomodation. In 2001, the proportion of rented households hit the dip of approximately 30% before experiencing a slight growth to 35% in 2011.
Meanwhile, the figure for possesed households began the period with more than 20%. In then demonstrated a comparatively steady growth since 1918 and surpassed the other category to reach the prak of approximately 70% in 2001. Since 2001, It showed a minimal dip to about 64% until 2011.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Overally" -> "Overall"
Explanation: "Overally" is a non-standard term. "Overall" is the appropriate adverb to indicate a general summary or assessment of the information presented.
"accommodations" -> "housing"
Explanation: "Accommodations" is not incorrect, but "housing" is a more concise and commonly used term in this context, particularly when referring to where people live.
"showed a tendency to rise" -> "exhibited an upward trend"
Explanation: "Showed a tendency to rise" can be replaced with "exhibited an upward trend" to convey the idea of an increase in a more precise and formal manner.
"considerably downward trend" -> "significant decline"
Explanation: "Considerably downward trend" can be replaced with "significant decline" to express a substantial decrease more succinctly.
"hired by people" -> "rented by individuals"
Explanation: "Hired by people" is a less common phrase in this context. "Rented by individuals" is a more appropriate and widely understood term when referring to housing arrangements.
"since rhen" -> "since then"
Explanation: "Rhen" is a misspelling. "Then" is the correct word to indicate a point in time following a previous event.
"estimate of" -> "estimated to be"
Explanation: "Estimate of" should be replaced with "estimated to be" for grammatical accuracy when indicating a numerical approximation.
"those in owned accomodation" -> "those in owned housing"
Explanation: "Owned accommodation" can be replaced with "owned housing" for clarity and conciseness.
"hit the dip of" -> "reached a low point of"
Explanation: "Hit the dip of" can be replaced with "reached a low point of" to convey the idea of a decrease in a more formal manner.
"possesed households" -> "owned households"
Explanation: "Possessed households" is technically correct but sounds awkward. "Owned households" is a more natural and commonly used term to describe residences that are owned by individuals.
"began the period with" -> "started the period at"
Explanation: "Began the period with" can be replaced with "started the period at" for clarity and precision in describing the initial point of a time frame.
"In then" -> "It then"
Explanation: "In then" is grammatically incorrect. "It then" is the appropriate phrase to refer back to the subject ("the figure").
"surpassed the other category to reach the prak of" -> "exceeded the rental category, reaching the peak of"
Explanation: "Surpassed the other category to reach the prak of" is unclear and awkward. "Exceeded the rental category, reaching the peak of" provides a clearer and more concise description of the data.
"minimal dip" -> "slight decrease"
Explanation: "Minimal dip" can be replaced with "slight decrease" to indicate a small decline in a more precise manner.
"until 2011" -> "by 2011"
Explanation: "Until 2011" implies the action continued up to that point, whereas "by 2011" indicates the action occurred before that specific year.
"It showed" -> "It exhibited"
Explanation: "It showed" can be replaced with "It exhibited" to convey the idea of demonstration or display in a more formal tone.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information presented in the chart regarding the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodations in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. It provides an overview of the trends over the specified period, mentioning the rise in owned accommodations and the decline in rented accommodations. Key features such as the initial high percentage of rented households in 1918, the decrease over time, and the increase in owned households are highlighted. However, there are some inaccuracies and lack of clarity in the presentation of details, such as the confusion in stating the same percentage for rented and owned accommodations in 1971 and the unclear expression of the peak of owned households in 2001.

How to improve:
To improve the essay, ensure accuracy and clarity in the presentation of details. Avoid confusing or unclear statements and strive for a more consistent and precise expression of information. Additionally, consider providing more context or analysis where relevant to enhance the overall coherence and depth of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. It outlines the main trends adequately, including the rise in owned accommodations and the decline in rented ones. The essay generally maintains coherence and progression throughout, with clear topic sentences in each paragraph. However, there are some issues with cohesion, particularly with sentence-level connections, and the essay lacks clear referencing and substitution in some areas.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices more effectively to strengthen the logical flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that referencing and substitution are clear and consistent throughout the essay to enhance overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. For example, "accommodations," "proportion," "plummeted," "estimate," "dip," "possessed," "demonstrated," "surpassed," and "peak" are used. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "possesed" instead of "possessed," "prak" instead of "peak," and "rhen" instead of "then." Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "accomodation" instead of "accommodation," "since rhen" instead of "since then," and "hit the dip" instead of "reached a dip." These errors do not impede communication but affect the fluency and accuracy of the essay.

How to improve: To improve, the writer should pay more attention to word choice, spelling, and word formation. Proofreading the essay before submission can help eliminate these errors. Additionally, expanding vocabulary and using it more accurately can enhance the lexical resource of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, such as the use of introductory phrases ("The bar chart provides information about…") and subordinate clauses ("Since then, it demonstrated…"). The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to clear communication of ideas. However, there are some instances of minor errors and inaccuracies, such as "Overally" instead of "Overall," "possesed" instead of "possessed," and "prak" instead of "peak." These errors do not significantly hinder comprehension but are noticeable.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, focus on proofreading to catch and correct minor errors before submission. Pay attention to word choice and spelling accuracy, ensuring consistency throughout the essay. Additionally, aim for precision in sentence structure to minimize errors and maintain clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart delineates the percentage distribution of households in owned and rented accommodations in England and Wales spanning from 1918 to 2011. Overall, the data illustrates a clear contrast between the trends in ownership and rental of households over the 93-year period.

In 1918, approximately 80% of households in England and Wales were rented, marking the highest proportion recorded in the given timeframe. Subsequently, there was a substantial decline in the percentage of rented households, reaching an estimated 50% in 1971, aligning with the proportion of owned accommodations at that time. Following this, there was a notable decrease in rented households, plummeting to around 30% by 2001, before experiencing a slight recovery to 35% by 2011.

Conversely, the proportion of owned households began at over 20% in 1918. This category exhibited a consistent upward trajectory, surpassing rented accommodations to peak at approximately 70% in 2001. Thereafter, it experienced a marginal decline to about 64% by 2011, yet remaining the predominant form of housing tenure throughout the entire period.

In summary, the data highlights a continuous increase in household ownership alongside a significant decrease in rental accommodation, indicating a prevailing shift towards homeownership in England and Wales over the examined period.